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The cabin is engulfed in silence as Peter lays awake in his bed, staring up at the dark ceiling above. He doesn’t know how much time has passed since he’s been doing this, but it’s starting to drive him crazy.
Or maybe he’s just crazy at this point.
No—not maybe.
He is crazy.
Peter breathes out a sigh as he raises his arms and rubs his face in his hands, trying to ignore the dull headache throbbing away, the same sensation he’s had since the afternoon. His racing mind certainly isn’t helping his headache.
All he wants and needs to do… is just go the heck to sleep.
But his mind won’t let him.
He’s no stranger to insomnia.
Being a crime-fighting vigilante with danger constantly lurking over your shoulder will give a guy reasons to not be able to go to sleep at night, as well as being a stressed out college student on top of it.
But of all the nights for his insomnia to kick in, tonight is the worst time for it with his final exam tomorrow. He’s gone through four so far this week but tomorrow is for Physics, one of his biggest and most important finals. If he doesn’t do well, that’s a twenty percent chunk of his grade right there. He’s doing pretty good with his grades, but finals week always gets him anxious. High school finals were no different. He suffered through that entire week, barely getting any sleep in between all of the studying and test-taking he was doing. But college finals are on a totally different level. Everything is harder and more intense.
Yes, he understands the material… but something at the back of his mind is telling him that he doesn’t. That he’s not prepared for this. That he’s going to fail and be a failure for the rest of his life.
Hence, why he’s awake right now, anxious and very sleep deprived.
Peter lets his arms fall back to his bed as he lays there for a few moments, debating on continuing his struggle of going to sleep, or make use of his time by studying more.
He waits a few moments, but sleep never comes and the answer is clear in his mind. Glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand next to his bed, he sees that it’s now three in the morning.
“Studying it is.” He tiredly mumbles as he pushes himself up with a low groan, tossing the blankets off himself.
Peter stands up and grabs his throw blanket from his bed and wraps it around himself before going across the room to his desk to grab his laptop and phone before he quietly opens his door.
He silently makes his way into the dark hallway, using his phone’s flashlight to navigate his way as he tiptoes past Tony and Pepper’s room to the staircase. Peter starts down the stairs, being mindful of the particularly creaky steps, pausing as he steps down too much on one, causing it to squeak under his weight. He grits his teeth in a wince as he pauses for a few seconds, hoping no one heard it before he continues his way down.
When his feet touch the cold hardwood floors of the downstairs, Peter lets out a small sigh in relief as he heads over towards the kitchen. He flips the lights on, wincing at the warm, bright lights until he’s able to lower them to a more bearable setting. Peter sets himself up at his favorite spot at the center island counter and turns his laptop on. As he waits for it to start up, he goes over to the cabinet and grabs himself a mug, opting to make himself tea instead of coffee, so the smell of coffee doesn’t wake anyone up at this hour.
Besides, tea has some caffeine in it, right?
Once his tea is ready, he brings it over to the counter and sits down on the barstool and takes a tentative, feeling a small chill run through him. He puts the mug down as quietly as he can on the granite before he pulls his blanket around himself tighter. Peter looks at his laptop, his fingers hovering over the keyboard before he goes to the NYU student portal to log into his account so he can continue studying the topics in the final.
…
One cup of tea ends up turning into three during the two hours Peter stays glued to his laptop screen, his eyes skimming over the information before him. His headache has gotten worse, as well as a deep ache behind his eyes from being up so late and looking at a bright screen for so long, both of which he’s been doing practically non-stop this whole week.
He’s currently focused on reading the chapter on Interactions and Force when the kitchen lights suddenly brighten, causing Peter to jump in his seat, his eyes shooting up from the computer, only to see Tony standing in the threshold of the kitchen in his bathrobe.
“I didn’t wake you up, did I?” Peter asks guiltily before he can speak.
Tony shakes his head with a small smile. “No, you didn’t. It’s just one of those nights,” He tells him as he walks further into the kitchen, stopping at the center island in front of Peter, leaning his hip against the counter. “What are you doing up?”
Peter lets out a sigh as he looks back at his laptop screen. “Studying for tomorrow’s final—well,” He says as he glances over at the digital clock on the stove, seeing that it’s now five-twenty. “Today’s final.” He corrects himself.
“Have you been up all night?” Tony asks with a worried frown.
Peter lets out another sigh. There’s no use in lying at this point, Tony knows him well enough by now—a little too well to be honest. “Yeah.”
Tony’s frown deepens. “Pete-“
“I know, I know,” Peter says, shaking his head as he closes his strained, achy eyes and rubs them with his hands. “I just couldn’t sleep. I tried to, I really did… but I couldn’t shut my stupid brain off and I’ve been so stressed out this whole week with finals and this Physics one is the biggest one for me and if I fail it, I’m going to flunk this semester and if I flunk this semester I’m going to screw up my GPA and if I do that, I should just quit while I’m ahead because I’m not good enough and I just can’t cram enough information in my head. I feel so unprepared and I’m just such a failure and-“
“Whoah, whoah, whoah,” Tony softly says, placing a warm hand on his shoulder, stopping Peter’s rant, looking at him with concerned eyes. “First off, take a deep breath, Pete.”
Peter blinks a few times, suddenly realizing that his eyes are moist with tears. He takes in a deep, shaky breath, holding it for a moment before letting it back out.
“You’ve been at it all week, studying and taking these finals. Your brain has been on overload since last week and you’re running out of steam. Trust me, I’ve been there. When I was taking my finals in college, I lost it at the end of the week on my last one too. It happens to everyone. But you and I went over the information for your Physics final yesterday and we did that test-run. Trust me, you’re ready for it, Pete. You know the information. What I think is going on is that your brain is just so tired, it’s starting to mess with you. But let me tell you one thing. You, Peter Parker, are not a failure. You are far from being a failure. Okay?”
Peter’s brows pull together as he looks down at the counter, avoiding his eyes.
“Hey,” Tony says, gently squeezing his shoulder. “Look at me, Pete.”
Peter lifts his tear-filled eyes to meet Tony’s concerned and sympathetic ones once again.
“You are not a failure. Repeat it with me. ‘I, Peter Parker am not a failure.”
But I am a failure. He thinks to himself, remaining silent as he feels a stray tear slide down his cheek.
He notices the way Tony’s face falls a little when he notices it too. “Say it with me, Pete. Just ignore what your brain is telling you right now.”
Peter closes his eyes, feeling a few more tears slide down his cheeks. “I-I’m not a failure.” He whispers.
“A little louder.” Tony gently encourages.
“I-I’m not a failure.” Peter repeats, a little louder this time.
“There you go,” Tony softly says, feeling calloused hands gently wipe away the tears on his face. “My therapist taught me that little exercise a few years ago. The more you say it out loud… the less your brain tells you otherwise.”
Peter blinks open his eyes and looks at Tony, finding him to be looking at him with a sad expression.
“I hate seeing you like this, Pete. I really do. It honestly breaks my heart, especially with all of the negative, self-doubt talk. You are one of the smartest people I know. You’ve got this. Okay?”
More tears slide down Peter’s cheeks as his chest warms up. The corners of his mouth manage to lift into a small, watery smile. He truly doesn’t deserve to have Tony in his life. Because no matter when he’s feeling down about anything, Tony is always there to cheer him up.
“Okay.” Peter says.
Tony smiles as he pulls Peter in for a warm hug, wrapping his arms around him, gently squeezing. Peter closes his eyes as he takes in the familiar and comforting smell of Tony, his chest warming up even more.
“I know you’re going through a lot right now, but believe me, Pete, you’ve got this. You’re going to do great on that final. I just know it.” Tony tells him, his voice rumbling in his chest against Peter’s ear.
A sliver of anxiety and self-doubt slip into Peter’s brain, but he desperately tries to push it out. “I hope so.” He mumbles into Tony’s shoulder.
They remain there for a few more moments until Tony is the first to pull away. “Alright. You need to get some rest and it’s way past your bedtime.”
Peter resists the urge to roll his eyes at that. “I’m not five.” He lightly says.
“Doesn’t matter. Come on.” Tony says, motioning for him to get up.
Peter looks back at his laptop and all of the words on the screen, feeling the same anxiety he’s felt all week increase in his chest. He knows he needs to go to bed and try to get some sleep, especially with how terrible he feels with this horrible headache, which will no doubt turn into a full-blown migraine if he doesn’t rest… but he needs to study.
“Pete?” Tony gently says, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“I…” Peter starts, only to let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes as he rubs his face in frustration. “I just don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep.”
When he drops his hands and opens his eyes back up, he finds Tony looking at him an expression mixed with concern and sympathy.
“Will it help if I stay with you for a little bit?” Tony offers in a hopeful tone.
“Maybe?” Peter says with a one-shouldered shrug.
Knowing Tony all these years and with everything they’ve been through, Peter is way past being embarrassed about wanting Tony to stay with him on the particularly bad nights after a nightmare or when he can’t sleep—like now.
“Well, come on then.” Tony gently says with a soft smile.
Peter nods as he closes his laptop and stands from the barstool, ignoring the small wave of dizziness that washes over him. He goes to pick his laptop up, but Tony beats him to it.
“I’m going to hang onto this for now, just so I know that you won’t go back on it in your room. I’ll make sure it’s all charged and ready to go for you tomorrow when you have to sign on to take your final.” Tony tells him as he tucks the laptop under his arm.
Peter lets out another small sigh, but gives in, too exhausted to protest. Tony wraps his other free arm around his shoulders and steers him out of the kitchen and in the direction of the staircase, flipping the lights off as they walk past it.
They both make their way up the stairs and head down the hallway to Peter’s room once they reach the top. Tony’s arm drops from Peter’s shoulders as they step into the room and Tony walks ahead and pulls the covers back, only for Peter to drop face-first to his pillows in a slightly dramatic fashion, only to earn a chuckle from Tony.
He feels the other side of his bed dip down seconds later as Tony lies down, propped against the headboard. Peter opens his eyes as he turns to his other side and moves closer to Tony, resting his head on his shoulder.
“All comfy?” Tony asks in a warm voice.
“Mhmm.” Peter hums, closing his heavy eyes once more.
The room engulfs in a peaceful silence for a few minutes. And to Peter’s surprise, he finds himself getting more and more tired. His mind has seemed to also calm—for the moment at least. He can hear the soft, soothing rhythm of Tony’s heart beating against his ear as he breathes, feeling the rising and falling of his chest.
It’s like a soothing lullaby in a way.
“T’ny?” Peter mumbles.
“Hmm?”
“Th’nks for being here for me.” Peter says, his words slurring a bit out of sleepiness.
“Anytime, kiddo.” Tony tells him.
Peter manages to drift off shortly after and falls into a deep, peaceful slumber.
…
The next day, just like he said, Peter wakes up to a big breakfast of all of his favorites—especially coffee—and his laptop is all set up for him on his desk in his room when he goes back upstairs after to get ready to log on to take his final.
In the end, he finds out the next week that he passed it with flying colors, just like Tony said he would. And it’s all thanks to his family for helping him get through the week.