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The look from Alhaitham is an admonishing one, but it isn’t quite threatening enough to stop Kaveh gently trailing the tip of his shoe from ankle to knee and back again along his junior’s leg beneath the table. The Haravatat student continues pinning him with that glare, a look not quite scathing though deeply contemplative with some myriad of questions kindling behind them, his open book forgotten amidst the teasing before Kaveh reaches across and taps the page where he left off with a single long finger.
“Please stop bothering me because you’re bored, Kaveh,” He finally says before returning to his reading, mouth thinning into a firm line. “You don’t have to sit here.”
“But I want to,” Kaveh says softly. “You’re here. You invited me.”
A fever red blush colors beneath Alhaitham’s robe collar - a sign of fluster the average onlooker could easily miss, but Kaveh knows Alhaitham better than most. He knows that his junior doesn’t show embarrassment in his face, but in his body. Shoulders pulling forward, fingers fidgeting along the edges of pages, blushes blooming across his chest rather than his cheeks. It’s too cute. Kaveh relishes in drawing these little reactions from his friend, in breaking that stoic facade.
“You’re annoying.”
“So you’ve said.” Kaveh rests his chin in his hand and watches quietly as Alhaitham reads, passing the time with a bounce of his crossed legs. It does little to appease the boredom his peer correctly placed, but anytime spent together is time well spent. Afterall, Kaveh muses, Alhaitham was the one who had invited him to study in the House of Daena.
"Did you know some of my other friends find it weird that I spend so much time with you?" Kaveh asks, then continues, "I don't really think it's weird to hang out with your friend."
"They don't think it's weird you're hanging out with a friend, they think it's weird because of me," Alhaitham says. "Your friends think I'm weird."
"I don't," Kaveh frowns, pursing his lips a bit as his face scrunches. "Peculiar? Absolutely. But weird? You're not weird when compared to anyone else in the Akademiya."
"I really don't care what people think of me."
A deeper frown. "Not even me?"
Alhaitham’s focus falters for just a moment, colorful eyes flickering up to meet carmine then immediately returns to his reading, fingers worrying the corner of a page between them. "Not even you, Kaveh."
Momentarily wounded, it earns a pout and a grumpy crossing of his arms, but Kaveh doesn’t stay upset long as he watches the way Alhaitham adjusts his seat and thrums his fingertips against the tabletop – embarrassed. Kaveh thinks it’s just about the cutest that Alhaitham has ever been.
With time, Kaveh has learned that Alhaitham rarely allows himself any sort of vulnerability. As a scholar, it has its perks in that Alhaitham never takes criticism harshly, but it does stunt his empathy for others. His matter-of-fact, blunt nature doesn’t lend itself to making many friends, but those who take the time to beat past it find a logical mind and a heart of gold – and even a rich sense of humor, if they dig deep enough.
He pines for his cute friend and his hard to reach heart and humor. It had really been love at first sight for Kaveh. Alhaitham’s sharp features and side swept silver hair had captured his attention, and then that bristly personality had managed to sweep his feet right out from under him. Kaveh didn’t quite understand it himself, given how different they were, but as the saying went, opposites attract and Kaveh was smitten with his Haravatat junior.
“I care what you think about me, Alhaitham,” Kaveh teases after a few more moments, cradling his head against arms rested atop the table.
“Clearly that’s a lie. I’ve told you I find you annoying, yet you still insist on annoying me.”
“That’s because it’s the only way to guarantee you spend time with me. Otherwise, you’d be holed up in your room with a book or hiding somewhere here in some deep recess of the House of Daena.”
Alhaitham tuts, called out and not disputing the fact. “Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps I don’t want to spend time with you?”
“It has,” Kaveh muses with a happy smile, cheek squishing against one arm as the other stretches out to tap his friend’s nose.“But if that were really the case, you’d just leave. You’re not the kind of person who does things you don’t want to do.”
Alhaitham sits back in his chair wordlessly, looking at Kaveh for a moment with a vague expression before decidedly standing and abandoning his things at the table with an easy stride away. It takes Kaveh by surprise and he gawks openly at his friend’s back as he bolts upright.
Hopping up to follow after his junior, catching up easily with quick steps, Kaveh asks, “Are you really leaving?”
A sidelong glance pins him with a critical look and Kaveh breathes a heaving sigh of relief. When Alhaitham teased, there was always an air of credibility to the jest that Kaveh was still getting used to. He wouldn’t put it past Alhaitham to actually abandon his things in the library.
When Alhaitham stops amongst the bookshelves, nestled between two towering hardwood cases nearly as far back in the files as one can go and stocked so full with texts that it’s an effort to pull one free, Kaveh idles nearby and reads the spines of the books collected here. The topics vary, but most are studies published by long gone Akademiya scholars of every Darshan. Alhaitham hums thoughtfully as he crouches down, looking for something lower on the shelves as Kaveh pulls down the first book with a title that peaks his curiosity.
“An Empirical Study of Romance,” he reads aloud before thumbing through a few of the pages. “Do you ever think of this sort of stuff?”
Alhaitham stares at the books in front of him then gives a shake of his head, not meeting Kaveh’s eyes. “Romance? No, not really.”
“Never?”
“No,” he answers, voice flat and expression steeled into a perfect mote of neutrality. “Have you?”
“Thought about romance? Of course,” Kaveh answers obviously, “I think as a scholar not thinking about it would be diminutive. It’s a tumultuous topic, but some of the rewards seem worth the risk it holds. Romance and passion for the arts go so hand-in-hand.”
There’s more to it than just the sake of study, Kaveh thinks. He thinks of romance when he thinks of the future. He thinks of love, of a home, of evening dinners and quiet afternoons spent with his favorite person. He thinks of Alhaitham. It’s a complicated line of thought, and one that often occupies Kaveh’s mind before he sleeps at night. At sixteen, he likes to think he’s beyond schoolyard crushes but thinking of Alhaitham reminds him that he's not.
Alhaitham takes his words without response and continues his search while Kaveh continues skimming pages of his book. Some of the anatomical drawings and instructions on the last few pages make him blush and he quickly moves past them back to the front to find something else to talk about.
With an “Aha” Kaveh splays the book open with a palm and turns the pages to Alhaitham so he can see the title and poorly sketched diagram of a mouth. “What about the Various Arts of Kissing?”
“What about them?” Alhaitham asks as he stands to his full height, no book in hand.
“Have you ever thought about that? About kissing?”
A deep blush creeps up Alhaitham’s neck and colors the tips of his ears. "I can't say I've really considered it, no. As a romantic, I'm sure you've thought about it plenty. Perhaps, if you thought less of romance and more about your studies, you wouldn't be struggling in your literature class."
Kaveh rolls his eyes, scoffing audibly. "I'm not struggling, I just don't like it. I'm more suited to maths."
"I know."
Righting the book, Kaveh looks down at it and feels a twinge in his chest. Of course Alhaitham didn't really think about these sorts of things. Kaveh couldn't really expect more than they were now.
Kaveh had imagined Alhaitham being his first kiss more times than he could count. Sometimes he imagined it would happen in the street or in the gardens, under lamplight at dusk which would give it a romantic sort of atmosphere. Sometimes he imagined them holding hands across the table while studying and Alhaitham suddenly leaning across their books to plant one on him.
"...have you done it before? Kissed, I mean," comes Alhaitham's tempered question.
Briefly the impulse to lie for the sake of seeming cooler and more mature to his junior takes root in Kaveh’s mind, but it quickly wilts when he remembers that those aren't the sorts of things Alhaitham finds important.
Instead, he clears his throat and answers honestly. "No, I've never kissed anyone. Have…have you?"
"No," Alhaitham says.
An awkward silence settles between them. Kaveh looks everywhere but at Alhaitham, his face flushing with warmth as he thinks about suggesting they give it a try. Afterall, what were academic friends for if not…research. He could pose a hypothesis to get Alhaitham’s buy-in, hiding his own selfish intentions behind the premise of an experiment. Despite longing to reach out, he stays his hands and fidgets with the opening of his jacket after reshelving the journal.
What would Alhaitham think if he knew that Kaveh wanted to kiss him because he liked him? Would he be apathetic, or would he treat it like study? Would he…like it? Kaveh was sure that he himself would like kissing Alhaitham - he imagined it often enough. Did Alhaitham even fantasize at all? About him, about anyone?
The thought of him fantasizing about someone else burns a little, so he gives a shake of his head to clear his thoughts, then turns back to Alhaitham who is still standing there, bookless.
"...can't find what you're looking for?"
"No," says Alhaitham. "I was just thinking."
"Shall we look elsewhere?" Kaveh begins, turning to head back toward civilization and escape the thick-aired space they currently occupy.
The soft grasp of his sleeve is enough to stop Kaveh mid-step, Alhaitham holding onto him, his face turning away as that pretty red creeps up his neck and colors the tips of his ears.
"Maybe… we ought to try it, for the sake of the study," he suggests, voice wavering like he's struggling to form the words. Alhaitham never struggles for words. "Test their theory."
Heat slams into Kaveh's face. His racing mind grinding to a halt, churning Alhaitham’s words in the stressed cogs, fails to stop the surprised breath he lets out as they process.
Alhaitham reacts to the sound by drawing his hand away, clearly misinterpreting Kaveh's surprise for something else as his brow creases. He opens his mouth to speak but Kaveh beats him to it.
"Should we do it here?" He asks, trying to hide the excitement in his voice and the shake of his hands. "We could be seen."
"I don't care," Alhaitham says, then adds as though for Kaveh's comfort, "we're researching, after all. It's for the sake of knowledge."
"Yes, of course."
The awkwardness between them before pales in comparison to the awkwardness that captures them now as they inch toward one another, neither jumping to make the leap to close the small gap. Kaveh considers it, thinks it, feels the urge to just go in for this knowledge kiss, but he reels himself in to hide his true motive and to not scare off Alhaitham.
The jackhammering of his heart feels like it might break through his sternum. He can see Alhaitham is embarrassed or nervous or some mix of the two in the way he moves, but is his heart beating as fast? Is he embarrassed because of the proximity, or is he nervous because he wants this just as much? Does he feel the pull, like they're two magnets with opposing poles. There is something so romantic about his first kiss happening like this - with Alhaitham - in the place where they’d first met and spent so much time together.
It's Alhaitham who closes the gap, clicking his tongue against his teeth as he takes a wide step and reaches out, fingers moving around to hold the back of Kaveh's head.
He hovers then, inches between their faces, eyes fixated on Kaveh's mouth. "Are you certain?"
"Yes, yes," Kaveh says a little too quickly, but Alhaitham doesn't seem to notice the urgency.
Kaveh closes his eyes when Alhaitham leans in, their lips touching softly. It's unhurried, experimental, and gentle. The hand in his hair is trembling and Kaveh pins that to memory, thinking that this is the cutest Alhaitham has ever been. With his heart still beating from his chest, Kaveh finds purchase in the lapel of Alhaitham’s jacket and pulls him a little closer.
If he objects, Alhaitham makes no attempt to say so. Instead, his other trembling hand lifts to hold the side of Kaveh’s face, thumb brushing blonde hair from his temple.
This is simply in the name of Knowledge, Kaveh tells himself when he can form coherent thoughts, and Alhaitham is a thorough researcher. It's why they continue beyond the initial contact, exploring beyond the literal concept of a first kiss. It's why when his Ksharewar cap falls from his hair, knocked loose and tumbling to the floor Kaveh ignores it, and when Kaveh pulls back for a moment's breath, Alhaitham follows to keep kissing him.
It almost feels like he wants to kiss him.
When they finally separate, it's to catch their breaths, chests heaving for air. Alhaitham’s hands fall to his sides, and Kaveh's follow, releasing his friend’s jacket.
They share a long look. Alhaitham’s expression momentarily alights with delight before it's wrangled back to a normal degree of severe neutrality. Kaveh doesn't fight the shy grin that spreads, fiddling his fingers together in front of his stomach as he stands there elated.
"We ought to, uh, make note of our findings, then," Kaveh finally says to break the silence, glancing at his hat on the floor.
"Yes. I think it's worth noting that the most venerable scholars often perform repeat tests… For the sake of data extrapolation, of course." Alhaitham remarks coolly, like he's researched how it feels to kiss all of his fellow students. His composure is unnerving.
"Here again? Tomorrow?"
"Perhaps we…" Alhaitham trails off briefly, a bit…shyly, "perhaps we should do it one more time for today."
It’s an invitation he can’t refuse. Kaveh doesn't wait for Alhaitham to move this time, instead pushing forward and pulling him into a firm kiss with a single hand against his cheek. This kiss is harder, more confident. Kaveh pours himself into it, trying to convey to his junior just how important he is. Alhaitham, to Kaveh’s surprise, meets his energy and kisses back like he needs to convey the same message.
Maybe he does want to kiss him. Kaveh almost giggles with excitement as he throws an arm over Alhaitham’s shoulders, their bodies pressing flush as Alhaitham’s hands land on his waist. They don’t move except to pull him close. Kaveh doesn’t think he’s trembling anymore.
This time when they break, they don’t immediately separate. Alhaitham’s hands linger and Kaveh is slow to bring his arm back. Kaveh feels the hot puffs of breath on his face as Alhaitham appraises him so closely, turquoise eyes meeting red.
There's something surreal about living a fantasy, Kaveh thinks happily, something surreal about doing the thing he'd spent so many nights fantasizing about. The subtle smile that dimples Alhaitham’s cheeks makes Kaveh’s flower garden heart bloom, a soft, happy laugh following.
"Should we find that book you were looking for," Kaveh offers happily.
"I already found it," Alhaitham says, bending slightly at the knees as he reaches without looking and easily slides a book out, the title regarding studying runes.
Kaveh blinks once, twice. He'd already found it? "You…"
"I couldn't let the opportunity pass."
Kaveh gives a raucous laugh this time, stooping to pick up his hat as he pulls away from Alhaitham. "I thought you didn't want to spend time with me?"
"Like you said, I'm not the kind of person who does things they don't want to," he says. "We should get back. I have a paper to write, and I don't know how I'll ever finish if you aren't there to annoy me while I work."
Fixing his cap back in place, Kaveh follows behind Alhaitham, trotting along right at his heels. "Does this mean you do worry about what I think?"
"Kaveh, I never have to worry what you're thinking. It's always written right on your face."
A flush of embarrassment follows, which Kaveh momentarily hides by rubbing his face with his hands. He had often been told that he wore his heart on his sleeve, but hearing Alhaitham confirm it made him feel a little silly.
"It's the opposite for me, you know. You're so hard to read sometimes," Kaveh sighs when he finally uncovers his face. "Except when you're flustered, I always know when you're flustered."
That was the truth. He can almost always tell when Alhaitham’s feathers are ruffled, he thinks with a haughty air. Kaveh knows the stoic Haravatat student better than most - better than anyone else in the Akademiya, he’d venture. Where he was a sunny day, Alhaitham was a rainy one - two halves of the same whole.
"I'm never flustered."
"A bold faced lie," Kaveh snorts, bumping shoulders as they walk.
"Maybe so."
Kaveh nearly stumbles when he feels Alhaitham’s fingers brush against his before they link pinky to pinky as they walk back. It makes his heart flutter with happiness, and turns his pout to a warm smile.
They don't delve into what this changes between them as they settle back at the table. Alhaitham dives into his work and Kaveh taps his foot against the leg of his chair until he's pinned with the annoyed glare he knows so well. Things between them feel normal, and it relieves the part of Kaveh's busy mind that was starting to worry things between them might be different in a bad way. Alhaitham even bumps his foot against Kaveh’s under the table and leaves it there as he reads, a subtle smile on his lips.
He doesn’t ask for further elaboration on what they should call themselves - somehow Kaveh knows that they don’t have to call it anything.