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Neil was about to sit himself on the bus stop bench for the next two hours, but then he spotted the diner across the street. Through the window, he saw the most beautiful boy he had ever seen, and he made up his mind.
When Neil walked in, the boy he saw was in a white t-shirt and a green apron wrapped around his waist. He was a waiter, and he was giggling with a girl behind the counter.
The second the girl saw Neil she whispered to the boy, but just loud enough that Neil could hear.
“You gotta take this one.”
“What? Why?” The boy frowned
“I took the last one- I’m gonna go talk to the kitchen.” She patted his shoulder, stuck something in his hair, and then left.
“Uh-“ the boy turned to Neil and smiled. Neil felt his heart stop for a moment. The boy was even cuter up close. His crystal blue eyes and dirty blond hair. “Hi, welcome to Sue’s diner, is it just you today?”
“Y-yeah, yes. Just me.” Neil nodded.
“Ok, my name is Todd, and I will be your server today, follow me.” Todd smiled brightly and led Neil down to a table and set a menu and silverware in front of him.
“Thank you,” Neil said softly as he sat down.
“No problem, what can I get you to drink while you look at the menu?” Todd asked sweetly.
Neil hesitated for a moment. “Uh- water, water is fine, thank you.” he nodded. Todd smiled and nodded. His eyes flicked over Neil's uniform.
“Thank you for your service.” Todd nodded.
“Oh-” Neil looked down at himself and flushed slightly. “I’m- only headed out today, I haven’t served you yet.” he chuckled nervously
“I was going to say, you look a little young.” Todd nodded.
“Eighteen two days ago.” Neil smiled.
“Well, happy birthday.”
“Thank you.”
“Well, I’ll go get that water and you go ahead and take a look at the menu.” Todd nodded and then turned to leave.
Neil sat for a moment smiling to himself. Todd was really sweet, and this whole thing was making this stupid day much better.
When Todd came back Neil had to quickly glance at the menu and pick something so it looked like he hadn’t just sat there like an idiot.
“Alright, do you know what you want or do you need a little more time?” Todd asked, setting down Neil's water with a straw and then pulling out his little notepad and clicking his pen.
“Grilled cheese and fries, please,” Neil said, sliding his menu away from himself. Todd jotted it down and picked up his menu.
“Anything else for you?” Todd asked.
“No, that should be it.” Neil shook his head.
Todd smiled. “Ok, I’ll get that in for ya.” Todd turned to leave and Neil felt a bit of panic rise in his chest.
“Wait-” he blurted out. Todd paused and turned back around. “Uh-” Neil glanced around. “You guys seem pretty slow… if- if you don't mind just sitting and chatting with me? I’m just feeling a little… down.”
Todd frowned softly. He bit his lip and glanced around, the restaurant was pretty dead. “I wish I could, but I’m still on the clock- but I do get off in about an hour, and we can go somewhere else if you want,” he offered.
Neil grinned. “That would be great, thank you.”
“Yeah, just stick around here for an hour and I’d be happy to chat with you.” he nodded.
Neil nodded back and Todd left to put Neil’s food in. When Neil got his food he ate slowly so he wouldn’t have to sit with nothing to do while he waited for Todd to get off his shift. This wasn’t normally the kind of thing Neil did, but for some reason, he felt really drawn to Todd.
Todd came back a few minutes later with Neil's food. “Here ya go, sir.” Neil tried not to frown at being called sir. But when he looked up at Todd he smiled softly.
“I like the-” Neil pointed to his own hair. “Bow…” Todd blinked and then flushed. He quickly pulled the bow out of his hair that his friend had stuck there as Neil had walked in.
“S-sorry… my… coworker is annoying…” he said nervously.
“Don't worry, I think it looked good on you.” Neil smiled.
“Th-thanks…” Todd blushed and then left Neil to eat his food.
The hour passed by pretty quickly and only one other table came in and Todd's co-worker helped them. But soon enough Todd’s shift was over and he came over to Neil's table.
“Ok, my shift is over, follow me.” Todd nodded to the door as he untied his apron. Neil stood and pulled out his wallet. “No need.” Todd stopped him. “On the house.”
“But-” Neil tried to argue.
“Consider it the military and birthday discount all in one.” Todd smiled. “C’mon.” Todd waved for Neil to follow. Neil shoved his wallet back in his pocket and followed after him. Todd led him down the street and then down to the pier. Neil smiled softly and sat down next to Todd, the two of them dangling their feet over the water as they sat at the end.
They lived in a small town and the lake was one of the highlights, that and Sue’s Diner. Todd folded up his apron and set it to the side.
“So, are you nervous?” he asked softly.
Neil hesitated. “Not really, it’s better than here…” Then his eyes widened. “No offense,” he said quickly.
Todd chuckled. “None taken, I agree. I can’t wait to get out of this town.”
Neil looked at Todd for a long moment. “My name is Neil, by the way.” he said softly.
“Well, nice to meet you, Neil. you already know my name, Todd.” he nodded with a small smile.
“Well, tell me about yourself, Todd.” Neil nodded.
“Uh… I play the piccolo.” Todd shrugged. “Just cuz my parents wanted me to, but it doesn’t matter, cuz I’m still not as good as Jeffery.” he rolled his eyes.
“Who’s Jeffery?” Neil asked.
“My older brother, the perfect child.” Todd sighed. “But I also like writing poetry,” he shrugged. “But that is just kinda a hobby.”
“Hobbies are good.” Neil smiled. “I like acting, and apparently I like fighting wars.” he chuckled.
“Well, thank you for your sacrifice.” Todd smiled. “How long till your bus gets here?” he asked, nodding back up to the bus stop.
Neil pulled out his pocket watch and checked the time. “About half an hour.” he said.
“Alright, well, are you excited?” Todd leaned back on his hands.
“To leave this town? Yes. to fight… not exactly, I’m not exactly excited to hurt people…”
“Fair enough.” Todd nodded. “I don't know if I could ever do that. I mean, guns scare me.”
“Well, lucky for you, you don't have to go.” Neil nodded.
Todd chuckled. “I guess so… I'll just have to find another way out of this town when I turn eighteen.” Todd brought his knees up to his chest.
“How old are you?” Neil asked.
“Sixteen, I’m a sophomore in high school.” Todd nodded.
“Well, you’re getting close.” Neil smiled. “I might be back by then.”
“Why would you come back?” Todd scoffed.
Neil shrugged. “I dunno yet…'' There was a pause before Neil spoke again. “I have a weird question for you… I don't really know a lot of people in this town… I don't have anyone to worry about me or to write to while I’m gone… would you mind if I sent you some letters…?” he asked softly.
Todd thought about it. “Sure.” he nodded and let one leg back down to dangle over the water. “I wouldn’t mind at all.”
Neil glanced away. “Would your girlfriend mind.” he chuckled, trying to make it sound like a joke.
“I don't have a girlfriend.” Todd said quickly.
Neil looked back at Todd and smiled softly. “Alright.”
Todd nodded, then grabbed his notebook and pen out of his apron and jotted something down, ripped out the paper, and folded it before handing it to Neil. “that’s my mailing address. I’ll be waiting for your first letter.”
Neil took the paper with a small smile and tucked it into his chest pocket. “Thank you, Todd.”
“C’mon, I’ll walk you up to the bus stop.” Todd nodded and stood up. Neil followed his lead and the two of them went up to the bus stop, then parted ways.
Dear Todd,
This is my first letter to you… I’ve never really written a letter before… but here goes nothing. Thank you for agreeing to be my pen pal, it means a lot to me, for real.
I’m writing this sitting on my bunk, I’ve been stationed in an army camp in California. So far it’s ok, the grilled cheese doesn't compare though. Some of the guys here are gonna quit in the first week or so, but I think I can stick it out.
Sincerely Neil.
Todd read over the letter eagerly, only slightly disappointed with how short it was. Neil had been the most attractive man he’d ever seen, Todd knew he was gay, but seeing Neil had really made him realize it.
“What’re you reading?” Tiffany leaned over his shoulder.
“It’s a letter from that army guy a few weeks ago,” Todd said. “He asked if he could write to me since he doesn't have anyone else to write to.”
“That’s sweet of him.” she slid into the booth next to him. “So, you like him?” she nudged his arm with her elbow.
Todd flushed. “Kinda… but he’s eighteen, and in the army now… so odds are nothing is gonna come of it.”
“Still, this is fun, do you know if he’s… you know…” she nudged his arm again. Todd chuckled and shook his head.
“I don't know, and I’m not gonna ask… not yet…”
Dear Neil,
Thank you for your letter, I really enjoyed receiving it. It might have been the highlight of my whole week. I am really grateful you asked me, I have one friend in this town and it’s Tiffany, my co-worker, the one that put the bow in my hair.
She’s fun and all, but she can be a bit much. She says she’s good for me and helps me put myself out there, and I think I have to agree. Don't tell her that though, she won't let me hear the end of it. Tiffany says hi by the way, I might have told her about you.
I’m glad you have a bed to sleep in, not all army camps are that lucky, make sure to try and make some friends while you are there, I hear it’s important. I’m not surprised their grilled cheese isn’t as good as ours, no one’s is. Ours is the best.
If I could send you some I would, but sadly it’s not mail safe. When you get back I’ll have to treat you to another one.
Now, when you say bunk, do you mean bunk beds? Or just a normal bed? Bunk beds are always better, if it is a bunk bed, are you on the top bunk or the bottom bunk?
Anyway, I have to get back to class, but I can’t wait for your next letter.
Sincerely Todd.
Neil smiled happily as he read the words. Todd had written a pretty long letter. He hadn’t made his first too long for fear of Todd not actually wanting to write to him. But it looks like he really does.
Neil kept the letter in his pillowcase and read it every night before going to bed.
Dear Todd,
Thank you for your letter! It really made me happy to read it, and yes, it’s bunk beds, sadly I'm on the bottom bunk, the top is always better. But I did make a friend! His name is Charlie and he’s on the top bunk, so were bunkmates. He’s really fun and super cool, maybe a bit much for you, but you might like him.
Tell Tiffany I say hi back! Now I'm craving your grilled cheese, haha! Charlie loves grilled cheese too. Charlie is a friend of Dorthy’s and he’s got this other friend named Knox, they are both pretty cool, but between you and me I like Charlie better. But don't tell Knox!
When I get back I’ll have to bring Charlie with me for that famous grilled cheese, he’ll probably want to bring Knox with him, so it’ll just be a party. I can’t wait for you to meet my friends, it’ll be great.
The training here is pretty hard, but I'm still breathing, so I guess that’s good news. My whole body hurts sometimes, but that just means I’m working hard. By the time I’m out of here, I’ll be able to lift you over my head, haha.
By the way, I really do think that bow looked good on you. So make sure you tell Tiffany I said thank you for putting it in your hair.
Sorry, my first letter was so short, I was worried I would be a bother, but if it really is the highlight of your week I’ll try and make them longer. I can’t wait for your next letter to make me smile.
Sincerely Neil.
Dear Neil,
Of course, your letters are the highlight of my week! I’m really happy you decided to walk into the Diner that day, and I’m lucky I got the chance to meet you. Make sure you rest and don't overwork yourself, rest is important too. I’m sure you’ll be strong in no time!
Your friends sound nice and I would love to meet them one day. And I would be happy to treat them all to grilled cheese, does Knox like grilled cheese?
I had a marching band performance today and we did pretty good, but my parents didn’t come, they were too busy having dinner with Jeffrey and his new girlfriend. But honestly, I don't care if they were there or not, it was fun.
I don't have a lot to say today, but I hope this letter can make you smile, have an amazing day Neil!
Sincerely Todd.
Dear Todd,
Your letters always make me smile. Charlie gets jealous every time I get one because his best friend came with him instead, so he doesn’t have anyone writing to him.
Charlie and Knox introduced me to Dorothy, so now she’s my friend too.
You aren’t the only one that was lucky I went into that Diner, I’m happy I met you too.
If I’m not mistaken, Prom is coming up at school, right? Are you taking anyone? I wish I was there to have fun with you. Are you any good at dancing? If I was there I might get to find out.
If you are going to prom make sure to send me pictures so I can pretend I was there too.
I don't have a lot of time to write today, But I’ll try and make my next letter longer.
Sincerely Neil.
Todd frowned slightly as he read the paper. He looked up and glanced at Tiffany as she rolled silverware inside of napkins. “What does it mean when you say you’re a friend of Dorthy’s?” he asked.
“Um, that you have a friend named Dorthy?” Tiffany lifted an eyebrow.
“But- he’s saying it like it means something…” Todd looked back down at the letter from Neil, then pulled the one he got before that out of his pocket.
“Who?” Tiffany quickly moved over to look at the paper in front of her friend.
“Neil.” Todd nodded to the letters as he opened the second one.
“Traveling soldier boy? Lemme see!” She happily sat down and read both letters, then grinned. “Oh my gosh!” she whisper shouted. “Todd, he’s gay.”
“What?” Todd scoffed.
“No, really, a friend of Dorthy’s is a term for gay people,” she said quickly. Todd seemed skeptical. “My uncle is gay and he called himself a friend of Dorthy’s once.”
“Maybe your uncle just… also had a friend named Dorthy.” Todd pointed out. Tiffany rolled her eyes.
“There is no one in this town named Dorthy, I know, I checked.” she said “You can check too if you want, but it’s a waste of time, just tell him you know Dorthy, that’s what he’s trying to fish out of you.” she nodded to Todd's blank piece of paper.
“If you’re wrong about this… I’m gonna look like an idiot.” Todd muttered as he picked up his pen.
“I’m never wrong, Todd, you should know that by now.” she smirked as she got back up.
Dear Neil,
Prom is tomorrow for me, but I’m not going. There is no one here in this town I want to go with. And when it comes to dancing… I don't think I even know how. Tiffany tried to teach me once, but I kept stepping on her shoes and we had to quit because customers showed up.
I think I know Dorthy too, we’re friends as well.
Sincerely Todd
Todd’s letter was short, he was nervous he was making a fool of himself and couldn’t think of anything else to write down.
But when Neil got the letter, read it excitedly anyway. His eyes widened as he read the last of it.
“No way-” he breathed. He grabbed his pillow and swung it up over the top bunk to hit Charlie. “Charlie!” he hissed.
“Shit- ow- what the hell?” Charlie swung his head down so he was upside down and frowned at Neil. “what?” he asked.
“Read this.” Neil shoved the letter into Charlie's face and he grabbed it, turning it upside down as well so he could read it.
Charlie slowly grinned and handed it back. “Well damn, looks like your little crush may reciprocate after all.” he chuckled. “So are you gonna tell him?” Charlie asked.
“Uh…” Neil hesitated. “I might just double-check that he knows what he’s saying…” he said softly.
Dear Todd,
You know Dorthy? That’s awesome, how long have you known?
I think I met Dorthy the same day I met you, but I just didn’t realize it, but then Charlie and Knox explained to me who she was.
The training here has been taken up a few notches and every day I come back to bed tired, but reading your letters always gives me a little bit more life and I enjoy every single one.
I remember you said you liked poetry, you should write me a poem one day and send it to me. I would love that.
Does you not going to prom have anything to do with the fact that you and I might have been the only two people in that town that know Dorthy? If that’s the case, then I happily would have gone with you.
Sincerely Neil.
Dear Neil,
I met Dorthy when I was twelve, I’ve known her ever since, and yeah, that’s why I didn't go to prom. But if you had asked me there is nothing that could have stopped me from saying yes.
I hope they are taking good care of you, and I’m sorry the training is so hard, but I’m happy my letters can bring you a little bit of joy. Keep working hard and fight to protect our country, I’m counting on you.
I don't write poetry that often… and it’s not any good, you wouldn’t want to read any of mine. But I can send you some of my favorite poems by other people if you would like.
Sincerely Todd.
Dear Todd
I can’t believe you know Dorthy- that makes me so happy. Congratulations. And don't worry, they take great care of us here, but I can’t help but wish you were here to give me a grilled cheese. Haha.
I don't care if your poetry is bad, I still want to read it. I don't care about what other people have to say, I want to read your words. I keep your letters in my pillow case and sleep with them under my head every night, your words mean the world to me.
When I get out on the lines, I’ll fight for you, Todd. I’ll do my very best till this war is won, and I’ll help win it just for you.
Sincerely Neil.
The letters went back and forth, now filled with little flirtations advances, and small jokes for the two of them. Todd kept his most recent letters from Neil inside his notebook so he saw them every time he took someone's order. And when he got a new one he would replace it and put the old one in his nightstand with all the others.
Tiffany read most of his letters over his shoulder and Todd had to shoo her away most of the time. One week, Neil’s letter came in about a week later than it normally did.
Dear Todd.
Sorry, this letter is later than normal, I’m being transferred to an army camp in Vietnam.
I’ve gotta be honest Todd, sometimes I’m a little scared. If they find out who Dorthy is I’m not sure if I’ll get dismissed or not. People aren’t always that understanding about knowing her.
I don't want to weigh you down with my problems so that’s all I’ll say for now. But if you don't mind, I would love for you to send me a picture of yourself in your next letter so I can stick it in my pocket watch. I want to keep you with me at all times.
I know that if I keep you close to my heart, I’ll be happy and safe no matter what happens.
Sincerely Neil.
Of course, Todd sent a picture of himself, it was his school photo and he sent a small enough copy that it could be cut down to fit into a pocket watch. The idea of Neil keeping a photo of him there gave him butterflies and that’s when Todd realized- he was in love with his traveling soldier.
Dear Neil,
This is my school photo, but it’s the best photo of me I have, I hope it works. I’m sorry you have to worry about them finding out who Dorthy is, but if you do get dismissed, I’ll be here waiting for you.
You’re not the only one that’s scared. If my family finds out, I’ll be kicked out for sure. And if my brother found out, he would be telling my parents before I even got the chance to ask him not to, eager to get rid of me.
In other words, my birthday is in a month and I’ll be turning seventeen. The school year is almost over and then it will be summer. I hope you don't have to work too hard in the summer heat, so make sure you drink plenty of water.
I worry about you Neil, so please be careful, I’ll pray that you stay safe and just know that there is someone on this side of the sea that will always care about you.
Sincerely Todd.
Dear Todd,
I think I love you, Todd. I hope that doesn’t scare you, but I want to say it. It’s real to me and nothing else has felt this real to me in a long time. Sometimes the training gets in my head, or the fighting feels too real for me. But then I read your letters and everything just feels right.
There are few people in this world that I love. I love Charlie like a brother and would die for him. I love Knox like a friend and would kill for him- but I love you, Todd, I love you like I’ve never loved anyone else and I would live for you, Todd. I can’t say that for a lot of people.
But I would live for you.
You don't have to say it back, I don't expect you to, but I needed you to know that I love you. And I don't think I’ll ever stop.
As for your birthday, there isn’t a lot I can get for you from over here, but I have this. It’s a photo of me, Knox and Charlie. Charlie is on the far right, I’m in the middle and Knox is on the far left.
Happy birthday, Todd.
Sincerely Neil.
Dear Neil,
I love you too. I love you so much it hurts sometimes, I’ve loved you for a while now, but I’ve been too scared to say. You’re older than me- I was worried you just saw me as a child and I couldn’t take being rejected by you. But I love you too and I know that I’ll never stop.
Thank you for the photo, I’m gonna frame it and keep it next to my bed. Charlie and Knox look like fun and I can’t wait to meet them in person. Once we are finally all in the same place I can treat us all to grilled cheese.
I love you, Neil. and I just really want you to know that, to understand I love you more than anything in this world.
I just found out that Tiffany started dating Jeffery. I haven’t talked to her in three days. She knows how much he hates me and I don't know why she would do that. But she knows I am a friend of Dorthy’s and if she tells him then I’ll be kicked out for sure.
I started putting most of every one of my paychecks into savings. If I get kicked out I’ll need to get an apartment. And maybe when you come back you could share it with me.
Sincerely Todd.
Dear Todd,
I would love to live with you once I get back. I’m sorry to hear Tiffany did that, that’s not what real friends do. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that she keeps your secret.
To know you love me back Todd- it means the world to me. I would frame the words and keep them with me if I could. But I’m going to keep that letter folded up and next to my heart everywhere I go.
When I get home, the second I see you I’m going to kiss you. It’s the first thing I’ll do, the first thing I wanna do. As long as it’s ok with you.
I love you, Todd.
Love Neil.
Dear Neil,
I can’t stop smiling when I read your letters. You’ve done something to me. I can’t wait for you to get back so I can see you for real again. I find myself staring at your picture while I lay in bed at night, and I can’t help but wish you were there with me.
I’ve never had a man's arms around me before, but when I imagine it, I can only imagine it being you. And when I do it makes me sad to know I have to wait for it. But I’ll patiently wait for the return of my traveling soldier. My one true love.
Of course, you can kiss me, I would love nothing more. I’ve never been kissed before, so I’m excited for you to be my first.
I got a new school photo last week, so I’m sending that as well, I kissed the back of it for you so you can have my kiss as well, for good luck. Just keep in mind that if you get hurt I’ll never forgive you, so stay safe.
Love Todd.
Their love letter went back and forth for months, planning on moving in together when Neil got back, talking about having a garden and getting a dog. They talked about training and the war. About Todd's schooling and marching band
They talked about family and everything else they could think of and the two of them fell more and more in love. They talked about everything they were scared of and everything they loved.
By the time Todd turned eighteen there was nothing the two didn’t know about each other. Todd felt on top of the world like he had everything he could ever want. And then he got Neil's next letter.
Dear Todd,
I miss your pretty blue eyes. I miss the pretty little bow in your hair. I miss your cute little smile. Sometimes it’s hard to wake up. I love you.
I keep having hard days that only get harder as the hours pass by. When I have my hard days all I can do is sit back and close my eyes. When I do that I re play us first meeting in my head. I remember us sitting on the pier and I remember your pretty smile.
I don't want you to worry about me, but I want to let you know I'm going out on the line and I’ll be fighting in a pretty bad place next week. It’ll be before your next letter gets here. And I’ll be there for a while, so I won’t be able to write while I’m there.
Please don't worry too much about me, I’ll be fine, this is what I was trained for. And I’ll write you as soon as I get back. I love you, Todd, don't you ever forget.
Love Neil.
Todd read the letter slowly. Unsure if he was really reading what he thought he was reading. He read it over and over again. Finally, he felt himself start to cry. Sitting in the back of Sue’s Diner on his lunch break, crying over a stupid letter.
Why was he upset? Neil was fine, he just wasn’t gonna get a letter from him for a few months at most. He would be fine… he hoped.
Time went by slowly and Todd thought he would die. The week came when he would normally get a letter from Neil and nothing arrived. Todd wanted to talk to Tiffany about it, but she didn’t work at the diner with him anymore. He saw her at school sometimes, but they just kinda waved at each other.
Three months passed and Todd was getting ready for a marching band performance at a school football game. It was a Friday night, his parents weren’t gonna go, they had other things to do. He wasn’t sure if Tiffany was gonna be there, but if she was odds were so was Jeffery.
Once Todd was at the football game someone said a prayer to god, mentioning briefly to keep the soldiers safe. Todd thought about Neil.
Then the band played the national anthem while some girl sang. Todd thought about Neil. fighting for their country- Todd got choked up and had to stop playing halfway through the song.
The kids next to Todd gave him weird looks once the song was over. Todd took some deep breaths and got ahold of himself. He was fine…
Then a man took the microphone and stood near the center of the field to speak to everyone.
“Excuse me, everyone, can I have your attention?” The crowds quieted down. “Thank you, I’m sure we all know about the war going on right now, and many of our fellow Americans are fighting to protect us. There are even a few from our own small town that joined the cause, and I’m sure we all personally know someone who is making the sacrifice to serve our country. Now if you would all please bow your heads for a minute of silence in respect while we read a list of local Vietnam dead.”
No… no that couldn’t be right, there were maybe seven total people from this town in the army right now. Todd frowned deeply as the silence threatened to crush Todd. time slowed down as he waited to hear the names on the list. Seconds ticked by like hours.
Not him- not him- not him- not him-
There was only one name read.
“Neil Perry.”
Todd felt his blood run cold, fog clouding his mind as he tried to react. No. he felt himself rise to his feet- and before he knew it he was running, he ran down the metal steps of the stands, the loud sound breaking whatever silence the rest of the crowd was leaving in respect of Neil's life.
Todd wasn’t sure where his instrument was, but it wasn’t in his hands. He stumbled at the bottom of the steps but found his footing. He swerved and darted underneath the stands as tears streamed down his face.
Todd dropped to his knees and started sobbing. The moment of silence was over and people started chatting again, the noise covering up his cries. Hot tears stung his eyes and face as they ran down his cheeks. He wrapped his arms around his middle and clawed his fingers into his sides.
No- no he can’t be- he’s not allowed to-
All that money Todd put into savings- they were going to buy a house- Neil wasn’t allowed to be dead. It wasn’t allowed. Neil promised to Kiss him when he got back, saying it was the first thing he would do when they saw each other again. He promised and if he was dead then he couldn’t- he’d be breaking a promise- he’s not allowed to-
Todd felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up. Tiffany crouched down in front of him with a sad smile.
“Hey Todd- it’s gonna be ok,” she said softly. Todd launched himself forward and put his arms around her tightly, sobbing into her shoulder.
Tiffany rubbed his back, she took the bow clip out of her hair and clipped it into Todd's hair. Softly muttering to him that everything was going to be fine.
The next day Todd wrote a letter to Neil's lieutenant. Asking about the details of his death. It was a month before he got a response.
Dear Todd Anderson,
Thank you for reaching out to us in regards to Neil Perry. Details of his passing are still unclear. Neil Perry was sent into the line with his troop (date) and their entire troop was undertaken by siege- many of the men in his troop were found dead and some missing. Neil Perry’s body has not been found and has been classified as MIA (missing in action) and presumed dead.
His location is confidential and cannot be shared.
In personal regards, Todd Anderson. Thank you for reaching out. Neil’s parents were informed two and a half months ago and never reached out to ask any questions. Would you like us to send his stuff to you? We normally send them to their parents, but Mr. and Mrs. Perry hasn't responded.
We don't normally do this, but his close comrade Charlie Dalton said you were the closest thing Neil had to family. Please let us know in the next month, otherwise, his things will have to be thrown out.
Thank you, and we are sorry for your loss.
General Farley.
Todd couldn’t believe what he’d read. Neil wasn’t dead. They were just assuming he was dead. But he wasn’t, Todd knew it. The second he got the letter he raced to Tiffany's house, pounding on her door.
Finally, Tiffany opened the door. “Todd- what is it?” she asked with a worried frown.
“He’s alive-” Todd panted from having run all the way across town. “Neil- he’s not dead.” Todd grinned.
Tiffany frowned softly. “Todd- he is- he’s gone-”
“No- read this.” Todd shoved the letter in her face. She took it and her eyes scanned over the first part.
“Todd, this said MIA, he’s missing in action, that means he’s probably dead,” she said softly.
“Presumed dead, they don't have his body, he’s not dead.” Todd snatched the letter back with a grin. “That means he’s alive.”
Tiffany continued to try and let him down slowly, but Todd just left with the letter, he had to write a response.
Todd got all of Neil’s stuff in the mail, it wasn’t much, but Todd was happy to have it, now he could give it back to Neil when he came home. His brother called him crazy, Tiffany said he was in denial. But Todd didn’t care. He knew Neil was alive. He had asked to be informed if they ever found his body and they said they would let him know.
But Todd wasn’t worried. He knew Neil would come home, breathing. Alive. His traveling soldier would find his way back to him. He knew it.
Months went by, Todd's graduation was just around the corner and so was his nineteenth birthday. And then, Todd got a letter. Inside the envelope were two letters. He opened the first one and started reading.
Dear Todd Anderson.
This is General Farley, we would like to inform you that the missing soldiers from troop 58 have been found, including Neil Perry. He is alive and well and is being sent home to america. His troop will arrive at the harbor on (date) between noon and six PM in California.
Thank you for holding the heart of your soldier so close, I do believe it kept them safe out there. We are happy to inform you that you will be reunited. Thank you.
General Farley.
Todd felt like he could faint from the good news, he opened the second letter, familiar handwriting covered the page and Todd started crying over it before he even read it.
Dear Todd,
Your soldier is coming home. You are never going to be alone anymore. I’m sorry I worried you like that, I never wanted to hurt you. Please forgive me. You’ll be happy to hear that both me and Knox are perfectly fine and Knox and Charlie were reunited as well. They will both be returning to America with me.
I know it’s a lot to ask, and I don't expect you to be there, but I would love to see you when we dock. You could meet Charlie and Knox- and I can kiss you like I promised… and then we can get a house and a dog and live together- and we can be happy.
If that’s still what you want.
I love you, Todd Anderson. And I will never stop. But if you have run out of love for me, I will understand. If I don't see you at the dock I will send you one more letter, asking if you want me to come back for you, if you do not respond to that letter I will know you have moved on.
But if you do still love me, respond to the letter, or wait for me at the dock. I wish I could send you money to pay for the drive to California, but I have nothing. So if you can’t make it to California, I totally understand and I will not hold it against you.
And if you don't love me anymore and don't respond to my letter, I won't hold that against you either. I won't come for you, and I won't contact you anymore. I would only ask you to send my stuff. I know they sent it to you- but… it’s also been a while, so if you don't have it anymore, then don't worry about it. That’s fine too.
I’ll manage. Anyway, I hope you are happy to hear I’m alive, even if you have moved on. And I want you to know I love you. I hope to see you soon.
Love Neil.
Neil would be arriving in California on his graduation day. Two weeks away. Todd started packing all his stuff into boxes, and suitcases, he turned in his two weeks at work and took out all his savings. Neil and he could get a palace there, or- or something- he didn’t care, he was going.
His parents and brother said he was crazy, Tiffany was happy to hear Neil was alive, she offered to go with Todd, but Todd refused to let her. She had a wedding to get ready for.
In two weeks, Todd woke up early and went down to the pier. He sat for about an hour, replaying when Neil and he first met, then he got up and went to the bus stop. And got on.
Todd spent six hours on the bus and arrived in California around one O’clock in the afternoon. He asked around, but the boat hadn’t gotten there yet. There were families, parents, siblings, and wives- all standing and waiting just like Todd.
They stood for hours. Finally, around five PM. They saw the boat. Todd grinned. He was almost nineteen, graduated from high school, and it had been almost three years since he last saw Neil. Neil was twenty-one now.
Todd pulled a small bow clip out of his pocket and clipped it into his hair. Now he stood out like a sore thumb, but there was no doubt Neil would recognize him.
As the boat docked and men in army uniforms started to file off Todd realized he should have been more worried about how he would recognize Neil. One after another men came off the boat and wrapped their loved ones in their arms.
After so many, Todd got sick- what if he was at the wrong doc- what if this was the wrong boat, what if it was the wrong Saturday-
But then, at the end of the line, a man in uniform stood at the top of the ramp, looking out over the crowd of people. His dark hair was a little too long for a military cut, and his dark eyes searching.
The second their eyes met- Todd knew it was Neil. Neil bolted down the ramp, jumping off it halfway down, crashing to the ground. He stumbled but quickly got back up, racing toward Todd.
Todd dropped his bag and opened his arms just in time for the two of them to crash together.
Neil's arms wrapped around Todd and lifted him off the ground, tears rolled down both their faces- then Neil put him down and pulled back, putting a hand on the side of Todd’s face, he smiled, then leaned in, pressing their lips together.
Fireworks erupted between the two of them as they kissed for the very first time.