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This day was supposed to be special for them. This was the first time they actually planned a murder together. The killing of the Dragon had been spontaneous, and despite the FBI's plans, which went horribly wrong, neither of them knew for sure how the other would act.
It was different now. They had everything under perfect control.
They were going on a date.
After dinner together and it was completely dark outside, Hannibal brought in two sets of what Will at first thought were suit bags.
"I brought our suits, my love," explained Hannibal, leaning in to kiss Will on the temple. "Would you like me to help you with dressing up?"
Will raised his eyebrows questioningly and glanced at the clothes.
Suits?
It quickly became clear what Hannibal had in mind. Will froze first. And then... he snorted mockingly. Hannibal, until now proud and smug, now raised his eyebrows slowly.
"I am not going to wear this murder condom. It looks silly," Will said.
Hannibal eyed him sceptically, dissatisfied with the lack of appreciation. "Oh, so do you prefer to leave your DNA everywhere as a wonderful gift for police searching for evidence?"
Will burst out laughing. "At least I won't be caught in a big, latex condom," he replied. "This is how you have always been dressed up during your murders?" He asked because personally, he had never seen Hannibal dressed like that. "I didn't know the Chesapeake Ripper's victims died of laughter," he said maliciously and chuckled.
Hannibal gave him a slightly drier look at the mockery. "I made it myself," he announced. For obvious reasons, he couldn't order something that was supposed to help him kill people without leaving fingerprints, it's just that no one would make clothes for that purpose. "And I made this latex condom for you to protect you from getting caught at all. This is literally the basic rule in killing people, my love. But it's good to hear that you're disrespecting years of my experience with a smile."
Hearing this, Will suddenly roared with laughter. He gripped the locker and pressed a hand to his mouth, his shoulders shaking and his stomach quivering. His eyes glazed with excessive amusement. It took quite a long time, and Hannibal's stern, dry and indignant expression only fueled it.
Finally, smiling broadly, Will walked over to the man and put his hands on his shoulders. "Darling…" he began seriously and looked at him in the eyes that measured him dryly. "Condoms are always made for protection," he said and laughed again, pressing his forehead against the man's shoulder and chuckling.
Hannibal just stood stiffly, staring at him sceptically and clearly displeased with the mockery.
"You should be called the Condompeak Ripper!"
"I'm glad you are at least having fun," Hannibal said dryly. He grabbed his murder suit. "I assume then that I have to take my murder condom and take care of our friend myself."
Will snorted softly. ‘Murder condom’ sounded so funny coming out of Hannibal's mouth, especially when said so seriously.
He shook his head slightly. "Why? I will go without a condom. I prefer being unprotected. The sensations are more intense," he replied mockingly and chuckled.
"I admire your enthusiasm, but I do not want to see my lover being charged for murder we committed," Hannibal announced.
Will raised his eyebrows. "Oh, don't you? Since when? I thought you like when I am charged for your murders", he replied.
Hannibal smiled wryly at that comment. "Not anymore." He began to put on the outfit, ignoring the malicious comments, indignant at the mockery. "Protecting yourself is obviously above your dignity.
Will watched him for a moment with amusement. Finally, though, he shrugged. "Okay, fine. So I assume since today we start using condoms," he stated ambiguously and smiled slightly, reaching for his murder suit. He felt silly stepping into the latex. Like a kid who puts on a costume for a school play.
Hannibal looked at him, then smiled slightly, as he zipped up his murder suit. "Only if you grow an uterus," he said.
Will blinked, glancing at him as he tried to pull on latex pants. "Why only if then? Full protection or not at all, Dr Lecter," he muttered jokingly.
Hannibal smiled indulgently.
"You don't need protection from my dick, my beloved," he said. "At least if you are not suggesting threesomes," he added.
He would never agree to any of them anyway.
Will looked at him intently, still unaccustomed to Hannibal's ‘dick’ words.
"Don't I? I don't know what you could catch during three years of incarceration or before while fucking Bedelia," he said casually but venomously.
Hannibal tilted his head slightly. He smiled, pleased with the notes of envy.
"If I did, I am sure you would have already caught it," he said calmly. "And I haven't fucked Bedelia. I slept and took a bath with her, although the sex itself didn't happen. She was fascinated by me but also frightened. Not like you."
Will froze for a fraction of a second as his heart stopped, then beat faster. He swallowed, eyeing Hannibal carefully as if to see if he was telling the truth or lying to reassure him. He wasn't sure. Still, though... he felt content.
Hannibal came closer to help him slip into the robe. "Now we can go all dirty."
Will rolled his eyes. "Great, I love being dirty," he muttered sarcastically. "Let's go." He started for the door. The latex creaked irritatingly with every movement, even though it was a perfect fit, Hannibal did a perfect job as usual. It also wrapped itself around his shoes. "What if someone sees us in these ridiculous suits?
"Then we will have two guests for dinner," Hannibal said nonchalantly. Protecting their safety was paramount.
Will sighed heavily. However, he did not object. He just agreed with it. "We are not driving my car, I don't want it dirty with blood," he muttered softly and left, heading straight for the Maserati.
Hannibal just smirked as he followed him. He preferred to drive anyway.
"I can make a condom for it too."