Work Text:
Dirk sat at his desk, staring blankly at his computer, typing away. He made small talk with his auto responder, discussing his plans for his next big project. The auto responder reported that Roxy was still trying to flirt roleplay with him and Dirk just let him. There really wasn’t any reason to stop Roxy. If either of them tried to stop it they knew she would just move on to Dirk. Move on to her actual prey.
All of a sudden a message from Hal flashed on his computer that alerted Dirk. It said that Roxy seemed to be getting bored of him and that she was likely to message him soon. Dirk sighed, messaging back to Hal to try to stall her. Hal said he’d try but he used a stupid - and sadly unironic - percentage to represent the probability that Roxy would be messaging him regardless.
Shortly enough, a ping from his computer came through. Dirk sadly recognized that pink text. It was from Roxy. Roxy Lalonde.
Dirk sighed again, lightly running his hands through his hair, a nervous habit of his. He finally took a deep breath, preparing to respond to Roxy.
How did he get in this situation? How did he end up with Roxy hopelessly lusting for him?
It all started when he stopped dating her. He realized he didn’t like women like that. Didn’t like her like that. So he broke up with her and ghosted her for a while. She was reasonably sad. She seemed even worse when he told her he was queer. She used the word gay but that was so antediluvian.
Of course, he had to explain what antediluvian meant. Sometimes it felt like he had to explain everything to Roxy. Everything for Roxy. Everything.
Because sometimes it felt like everything was about Roxy. About what she wanted.
Despite all of it she wanted him. She wanted him like she used to have him.
She was getting desperate it seems, with how often she would flirt and go after him. All he could do was take it and reject her. At this point, he just wished he could like her again to make her happy. He just wanted her to be happy.
Another ping from his computer snapped Dirk out of his thoughts. Oh right, he had to message Roxy back. Opening Pesterchum, he prepared himself for her drunken onslaught of advances.
--- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] started pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 6:09 ---
TG: hey dirkkk
TG: dirkyyy r u therr
Did Dirk really want to respond? To continuously subject himself to this torture? Was it worth it for Roxy’s probable happiness?
TG: r u slepein orrr
Dirk sighed, deciding it was worth it and messaged back.
TT: Sorry Roxy, I was preoccupied with something.
TT: What do you need?
Dirk looked away from his computer, hearing the pings that signaled a response but being too scared to check what said response was. He hoped Roxy had laid off on the alcohol some, the more she drank the more flirtatious she got.
TG: dirkkk ur here
TG: i wish u wiudl become precooupised w me thiguh
Dirk looked at the messages, cringing. She was obviously quite drunk. He sighed and began typing back.
TT: Roxy I think you need to take a nap.
TT: You’re quite obviously drunk, more so than usual.
TT: I’m getting a bit worried about you Roxy.
TG: woriried? ur woriried abt me???
TG: im FINE!!!
TG: why woudk u worriy abt me?
Dirk frowned, feeling a bitter taste rise in his throat. He knew the game she was playing. She just wanted him to pity her. To make her feel better about herself.
Dirk supposed he would play along, like always. Who knows what she would be like if he didn’t.
TT: I just think you should take more care of yourself.
TT: I just want what’s best for you.
TT: You matter to us Roxy.
TT: You matter to Jane and to Jake.
TT: And of course you matter to me.
TT: You always will.
Dirk wanted to throw up. His words were so honeyed, so fake. So saccharine. He hadn’t wanted to talk to Roxy like that but he knew it would be the quickest way to shut her down.
He learned that closer to the end of their relationship when he was drifting away. The more cloying he was, the better she responded. Especially when she was drunk.
TG: awhhh ty dirkkky
TG: ur the bedst <3
Dirk swallowed. He hated this.
TT: You too.
TG: alr i guess ill fgo to bed
TG: i am geelin kidna eepy
Good. Dirk really didn’t want to deal with her like this anymore.
TT: Good, get some good rest.
TT: Good night Roxy.
TG: goof ngith dirk <3
--- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] stopped pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 6:19 ---
Dirk sighed, turning away from his computer. He disregarded the other pings coming from his computer, just happy that it wasn’t Roxy. He just hoped she was doing good. That and that one day she would leave him alone.
Dirk loved Roxy, but not like that. Not anymore. Not ever.
If pretending is what helped her though, then he supposed he would pretend for her. He was nothing more than a puppet trying to fill a void in her heart.