Chapter Text
Second Shot of Espresso
Chapter One
1.1
Craig turned away from the window of his new apartment and looked at Tweek, walking over to the blond eighteen year old and taking his hands. “Listen to me, I still don’t have to do this,” he said as he gestured around at all of the boxes and furniture items of the one bedroom Los Angeles apartment. “There’s no rule that says that I have to go to college and there are plenty of colleges online.”
Tweek stared at him and shifted. “No. You have to. You have to go. Maybe you don’t need to go to this college if you – you don’t like it but you have to go to college. You’ve worked too hard and for too long not to go. You’re the smartest person I know. You leaving college doesn’t make sense.”
I won’t forgive you if you don’t at least try, Craig. I mean it. If you don’t send in those applications, if you don’t’ pick a school, if you don’t try then I can’t be with you. It would hurt me too much to hold you back because I know you’d be choosing to stay here because of me.
Babe, what you’re saying isn’t making sense. You’re saying that you’d forgive me if I was a murderer but you wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t go to college.
Yes. I mean, yeah, yeah that’s right and it would hurt me because I love you. I love you, Craig. We can make it work long distance. I love you. I want this for you and I know you want it too.
Babe, you’re saying you’d love me if I was a homicidal killer but you wouldn’t love me if I chose to take a gap year.
Craig, if someone came up to me and told me that you were a homicidal killer or if…if I witnessed it myself, I wouldn’t be able to believe it and I’d know something had gone terribly, terribly wrong. You wouldn’t hurt people on purpose. You’re not like that. I love you. It’s because I love you that I need for you to go.
I love you too.
Craig sighed as he walked over to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, kissing him and then took a step back, letting his hands rest on Tweek’s shoulders. Craig gave a small and adorable smile. “Promise me that you’ll be okay? You won’t feel as if I abandoned you or anything or that I’m not coming back, right?”
“I know. I know,” Tweek said quickly. “Yes. I know, of course you’re as committed to our relationship as I am.”
“And if you’re sad or scared or stressed about anything, you’ll contact me. I’ll try to be as available as possible but even if I can’t get to my phone for a few hours, trust me, I will contact you back as soon as I possibly can.”
“I know,” Tweek smiled. “I have my fidget spinners,” he joked before feeling Craig wrap him up in his arms again. “Cragi, are you sure that you’re okay?”
“Tell me not to go,” Craig whispered to him. “Tell me to stay in South Park.”
“I can’t do that, not unless you really really want to and I know that right now you don’t,” Tweek said as he closed his eyes. “You…you deserve this and even – even if I’m not with you, I’m rooting you on and I’ll have my promise rings and I won’t forget how much I love you. I’ll text you when I get home and we can – we can chat or something.”
“You can text me before you get home,” Craig replied. “Just let me go and thank your dad for all of his help, okay? Then we can get lunch before you drive back with him.” Tweek nodded as Craig took a step back and took his hand, giving it a slight squeeze. “I really love you, honey.”
“I know,” Tweek smiled, “I love you too.”
1.2
Tweek hadn’t mentioned to Craig how alone and in the dark he was feeling knowing it would be a few weeks until they were able to see each other in person. He knew that it was the right thing to do and it was better this way, better to try long distance than to cut the relationship off and risk losing each other again. He definitely only wanted to date Craig and hopefully Craig felt the same. Hopefully that wasn’t the most selfish thing in the world to think.
“Son,” Richard said as he took a look at the back seat where Tweek had his head resting against the window. “Are you okay? You want to talk about it? You want more coffee?”
“Do you think that he’ll be okay?” Tweek finally asked, not wanting to mention the painful and traumatic memories he was having of being alone, being sexually trafficked, not knowing where his next meal was going to come from. Maybe people didn’t understand him because he was wild and over the top and needed to vent all of this extra emotional chaos in his brain, but Craig wasn’t understood either. He was the complete opposite.
Maybe college would be best for him but it was a hard thing to be asked to leave his boyfriend alone.
“I wouldn’t worry about Craig, son,” Richard replied, “He’s one of the most capable and responsible people that I know. He’s more mature than a lot of people your age and I know that he’ll thrive in this type of atmosphere. I wouldn’t worry about him being gay here either. There are a lot of gay people in LA.”
Tweek sighed, “Yeah. Craig will be fine in that way,” he grabbed to his promise ring and span it around his finger.
“Not to say that I think he’ll cheat with any of them no matter how much he likes to take it in the ass, you know,” Tweek’s eyes widened and he sat up straighter, not expecting that. “Craig has a moral code that is much more honorable. Even if he’s invited into that kind of activity, I wouldn’t worry. He will at least have the decency of telling you before it happens.”
“I don’t want that to happen,” Tweek flinched. “No. No. Craig doesn’t really like people. He only did that before because he thought I was dead. Craig isn’t a people person. It’s okay. Our relationship is okay.”
“Hope so, because it’ll be hard to find someone else like him,” Richard said and Tweek nodded again before resting against the side of the car.
3.3
The young eleven-year-old found himself shoved against the wall again before the door slammed closed. He wasn’t sure how long he had been down here and even his screaming seemed unreal to him now. He knew he panicked all of the time before but now, he wasn’t sure what was actually happening and maybe that was how it should be. He looked at the tiny window and pushed himself to the wall knowing that he wouldn’t be able to break his way out of this prison.
“So,” someone said to him and he looked up to see Craig sitting there with his knees pulled up and arms around them as he sat there. “It’s come to this, huh? I don’t think that you’d be able to climb out of the window though.”
“Craig?” Tweek asked as he blinked hard. “What – how --- what?” he asked and Craig sighed.
“What do you mean what or how? Do you actually think that this is real? I mean, seriously, why would I even be bothered by coming here. You really let me down, you know.”
“I know,” Tweek whispered before feeling the tears in his eyes. “I know. Craig, I am…I’m so sorry,” he apologized and saw Craig watching him. “I want to go home, Craig. I want all of this to end. Maybe it would be better if –”
“You know that I’m not real, don’t you?” Craig asked him and Tweek smiled softly.
“I figured,” he sighed. “But it’s nice to see you again,” he smiled softly. “I really miss you. I…the promise ring you gave me. I think it’s the one thing that’s allowing me to be alive, so thank you, Craig,” he smiled softly and saw Craig’s imaginary face soften. Seeing him that way made it so Tweek finally could break down.
“Honey, don’t do this, don’t cry, okay. You don’t want to let them see that they’ve gotten to you. I love you. I just…just you’ve been here so long and…and well, Craig is…I’m not him. Babe, I’m just a figment of your imagination. You’ve been hurt really badly and you’re going insane.”
“That’s what the real Craig would say,” Tweek whispered to himself. “I just…I really am sorry. I want to go home. I want to go home. I don’t want to be here any longer.”
“Honey, I want you home too. You probably know that, right? That’s why you’re imagining me instead of somebody else. But you know what else, people think that you’re dead. Honey, I’ll always be your friend but with my calm personality and my body and my patience, I’ve moved on and I need for you to be cool with that, okay?”
“Can I keep – keep imagining you even if that’s the case?” Tweek asked innocently and the imaginary Craig nodded. “Do you think that we were just….if the Japanese girls didn’t…”
“Maybe we wouldn’t be together, yeah, I think of that a lot,” Craig replied before smiling. “But I wouldn’t have been as happy as when we were together, honey. I think I just needed to know that it was okay for me to be gay before I announced that I was gay.”
“I love you,” Tweek whispered before feeling his eyes shut. “Thank you. Even if you’re just a dream, thank you, Craig.”
1.4
After he finished putting his last bag of clothes away, Craig sat on the bed in the one bedroom apartment and let his back rest against the wall. He was a long way away from home. For the past year and a bit he and Tweek had been inseparable and although it didn’t make up for all of the time that they had been separated before they were good memories. It was still unspeakably painful to be away from him again.
He knew that people would get in touch with him were anything to happen to Tweek and they weren’t little boys anymore but he always had that painful memory of being alone and being scared that someone being close to him would make things that much harder for them, that they would somehow disappear just like Tweek.
“Son, the police were just here.” Mr. Tucker had told his son. “They say that there’s no other option, the leads have gone cold and there’s no other alternative than to say that Tweek Is dead.”
“Oh.”
“If you need some time to process this then we can call the school, everyone will be understanding of the fact that –”
“No. Dad, it’s cool. I’ll…I’ll just go to school. It’s fine.”
“If you’re sure.”
How could he have been sure all those years ago. He had just been told that the person he loved most was dead. He would never be okay again. Thinking back to those moments and thinking of how Tweek was going back to Colorado and he was in California made Craig feel uncomfortable. He couldn’t be close to him right now. Hopefully he wouldn’t let him down this time. He felt the tears in his eyes as he wrapped an arm around himself.
“Get in control of yourself, you big baby,” he scolded himself before smiling as his eyes drifted to a picture of himself and Tweek at his senior prom. “I really love you, honey.”
End of Chapter One
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