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English
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Published:
2023-04-07
Completed:
2023-04-14
Words:
6,751
Chapters:
4/4
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9
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so much (for) groupchat

Summary:

The dust has settled (for now), but not every problem is resolved.
Luckily, they can handle that together.

Notes:

username guide:

INFJ- Kunikida
catman- Dazai
dogman- Chuuya
paws- Atsushi
borderlineyandere- Akutagawa (the Akutagawa with more trauma, presumably)
knifelesbian- Gin
shoot- Higuchi
noshitsherlock- Ranpo
thebestrival- Poe
myimmortal- Yosano
yourmom- Kouyou
dilf- Fukuzawa
mr.bond- Tachihara
frozen2- Tanizaki
bro- the other Tanizaki
:D- Kenji
deadlybunny- Kyouka
safespace- Lucy
whenlifegivesyoulemons- Kajii

Chapter 1: here we go again

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Fukuzawa Y. created groupchat “ADA+PM (Temporary)”

Fukuzawa Y. added 9+ users to “ADA+PM (Temporary)”

 

Fukuzawa Y.: Hi all. In light of recent events and our truce, I have decided to create this groupchat for better coordination between the two organizations. Please take advantage of this software and communicate more efficiently with each other.

 

Kunikida Doppo: With all due respect, sir, I’m not against your idea but no one’s going to take this chat seriously if Dazai’s in it.

And how did you get the numbers of the mafiosos, if you don’t mind me asking?

 

Fukuzawa Y: Ah, that. It’s actually through Dazai. And an old acquaintance. 

 

catman: i heard my name. y’all miss me?

@Fukuzawa Y. what a brilliant idea president!

@Kunikida Doppo aw that hurts

also

 

catman changed 9+ users’ names

 

catman: there

 

INFJ: @catman No.

How tf did you do that? You’re not even a mod.

Never mind mine is actually not as bad as I’d expect.

 

catman: i’ve got some card up my sleeves (that’s figurative; not used to cutting myself this time i promise!! @paws)

and yeah i was thinking about something along the line of mary (get it? bc she’s a virgin) but i’m not stupid since we’re in the same room

 

INFJ: Be careful, you’re walking on very thin ice. And you sure are dumb.

 

catman: ouch. what have i done to deserve this??

 

borderlineyandere: what haven’t you done?

 

paws: lmao burn

wait is this Akutagawa?

oh @catman I just saw your @. that’s…reassuring…so thanks I guess

 

borderlineyandere: weretiger.

 

paws: is that the only word you can verbalize?

 

borderlineyandere: I’ll dig your eyes out and eat them

 

yourmom: young love these days smh

 

borderlineyandere: ?

 

paws: I’m just gonna ignore that

 

dogman: don’t fight kids. you can bond over mocking Dazai

 

catman: </3 betrayed by my own bf

 

paws: wait hold up you have a bf??? I thought you were straight??

and who’s this guy what have I missed??? is he from the mafia???

 

dogman: ffs we’re not dating

 

catman: keep telling yourself that ;)

@paws yeah he’s that ginger guy with the gravity manipulation ability. and yes i’m bi but with a preference for women bc have you seen them??

 

myimmortal: just for once I second Dazai. women are so beautiful and strong that I forget gay men exist sometimes

 

yourmom: ^

 

knifelesbian: ^

 

shoot: ^

 

dogman: wow that’s kinda homophobic

 

noshitsherlock: pretty sure 99.9% of us in the gc are lgbtq

 

dogman: no shit Sherlock

 

noshitsherlock: yes, that’s my username, Dazai-san’s boyfriend

 

dogman: forgive my French but I’m not his fucking boyfriend we’re rivals and we hate each other’s guts

 

noshitsherlock: I detect bullshit

and speaking of bf, can I add mine to the chat?

 

catman: @dogman babe your denial is so hot omg

@noshitsherlock yes ofc it’s that guild guy with a raccoon right

 

dogman: I’ll smash your head but you’d be into that

 

catman: you can smash me elsewhere 😉

 

dogman is offline

 

myimmortal: I’m surprised he didn’t leave the chat

 

catman: i’ll just add him back

 

myimmortal: fair enough

 

noshitsherlock added Poe to “ADA+PM (Temporary)”

noshitsherlcok changed Poe’s username to thebestrival

 

thebestrival: hi

 

noshitsherlock: this is Ed, and we’ve been dating for months now. hurt him and you’ll die a painful death because I have dirt on all of you

 

thebestrival: you don’t need to go that far for me Ranpo-kun.

 

noshitsherlock: why wouldn’t I? you’re my love, my rival, and my equal. I’d go further than that for you.

 

thebestrival: thank you. you’re the best rival I can ask for, too.

 

myimmortal: why am I crying

 

:D: I’m crying too!

 

frozen2: how I wish someone would love me like that

btw @catman what’s my name? I get the frozen part but why the second one?

 

catman: bc it’s gay and closeted, just like you

 

frozen2: I’m not gay

 

bro: bro…

 

frozen2: Naomi shush

 

dilf: I’m happy that Ranpo is in a healthy, committed, and loving relationship and it distracts me from my name.

 

INFJ: The fact I know it’s the president concerns me. Also, shouldn’t we keep this chat for ADA and PM members only?

 

dilf: Since the guild is siding with us during the war against the Angels, I don’t see a problem.

 

paws: cool

can I add a former guild member then? she has helped the ADA several times, especially during the sky casino arc

 

catman: go ahead. also i like your choice of words it’s as if we’re in a manga or something

 

paws added Lucy to “ADA+PM (Temporary)”

catman changed Lucy’s name to safespace

 

safespace: hi Atsushi!

 

paws: hi!

 

borderlineyandere: who’s she?

 

knifelesbian: 👀

 

dogman is online

 

dogman: 👀

 

yourmom: 👀

 

catman: 👀

 

mr.bond: 👀

 

safespace: omg

 

paws: she’s an ability user as well, was in the guild, and now she’s working at the café underneath us

 

knifelesbian: Atsushi I think he meant to ask if you two are close

 

borderlineyandere: shut

 

paws: yeah we are why

 

shoot: that’s a quick answer

 

paws: because there’s nothing to hide??

@safespace come to my place tonight? I’ll make curry and Kyouka wants you to braid her hair

 

safespace: sure! my shift ends at 7

 

paws: 7:30 it is then. wanna make it a sleepover?

 

safespace: sounds great

 

borderlineyandere: you do this often?

 

paws: dunno why you’re curious about Lucy all of a sudden but yes, she comes here once or twice a week

 

shoot: you’re very straightforward

 

paws: why shouldn’t I be??

 

mr.bond: this is hard to watch

 

catman: i enjoy it very much tho

 

dogman: ofc you would you trashy shitty stinky pile of meat

 

catman: hey that’s mean :(

 

safespace: @borderlineyandere you’re the Rashomon user right? just so you know I have a gf and I’m not poly!!

 

borderlineyandere: I didn’t ask

 

knifelesbian: you might as well

 

borderlineyandere: one more word and you’ll need to cook for yourself this week

 

knifelesbian: ugh you’re so borrrrring

 

paws: @borderlineyandere you cook?

 

borderlineyandere: seeing that neither Gin nor Higuchi can reheat leftovers without setting the kitchen on fire I sort of have to

 

paws: you live with them both?

 

borderlineyandere: no, Higuchi just comes over sometimes

 

whenlifegivesyoulemons: WOULDN’T IT BE WEIRD?? DIDN’T SHE HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU?

 

paws: oh cool

 

shoot: sigh. that’s a long time ago @paws and I come over because I’m dating Gin

 

knifelesbian: babe noooo I was waiting for more drama

 

paws: what drama? also I didn’t ask but congrats??

 

knifelesbian: you’re so pure and dense

 

paws: thanks

 

borderlineyandere: that’s not a compliment weretiger

 

paws: anything that isn’t verbal abuse is a compliment to me #girlboss

 

INFJ: You’ve been seeing your therapist weekly, right Atsushi?

 

paws: oopsie doopsie time to go hoopsie 🏃

 

INFJ: I don’t understand it one bit. Regardless, I’ll need to talk to you. Meet me in the office after you and Kyouka deliver that file.

 

paws: suddenly I’ll have to take the rest of the day off for !personal reasons!!

 

deadlybunny: I’ll make sure Atsushi comes back to the office

 

paws: Kyouka I’ll buy you crepes pls lemme disappear just for the afternoon

 

deadlybunny: no can do brother

 

paws: you see me as your brother?

 

deadlybunny: of course. you’ve always been there for me since the beginning, believed in me, and showed me that good things can come out of this cruel world

 

paws: I

 

deadlybunny: now he’s crying. what should I do?

 

catman: take him to somewhere quiet, let him sit for a bit, breathe with him, in and out, counting from 1 to 5 each turn

 

Private messages between Chuuya and Ryuunosuke

 

Chuuya: are you ok kid?

 

Ryuunosuke: ? why wouldn’t I be

 

Chuuya: do I really need to spell it out for you? apparently shitty Dazai knows how to comfort that Nakajima kid

he never did that to you in the mafia, no?

 

Ryuunosuke: you’re right, but it’s ok ig

I’m not sad or angry. tbh I’m relieved that weretiger will most possibly stop crying soon because Dazai-san’s ideas always work when he wants them to

 

Chuuya: that’s…really considerate and sweet. you’ve changed so much

but please don’t hesitate to talk to me if it hurts, ok? I swear I’ll murder that bastard someday

 

Ryuunosuke: that’s unnecessary. I’d be a hypocrite to be mad since I told weretiger to stop dwelling on his past

 

Chuuya: damn ok

 

Ryuunosuke: plus, even if you could kill him, would you really?

 

Chuuya: ofc. this world will be better off without that piece of shit

 

Ryuunosuke: but will your world be?

 

Chuuya: what do you mean?

 

Ryuunosuke: you just dodged my question. I wonder why

 

Chuuya: I simply didn’t get it

 

Ryuunosuke: sure thing

 

ADA+PM (Temporary)

 

myimmortal: it’s been 30 minutes. is Atsushi ok?

 

safespace: no bestie don’t cry

 

paws: I’m fine! was a bit overwhelmed, that’s all

 

deadlybunny: we just finished the mission. I’m now dragging Atsushi back to the agency.

 

INFJ: Good job, you two. I’ll be waiting in the meeting room.

 

paws: do we really have to talk about…that?

 

INFJ: Yes, Atsushi. Your mental health is very important to us, not because it may compromise your mission, but because we care about you.

 

:D: yes! you’re our friend!

 

myimmortal: others are working rn so I’ll just ^ on their behalf

 

deadlybunny: I think he’s going to cry again

 

catman: if he does, repeat what you did last time. there should be a quaint little park near you. take him there and watch the pigeons for a while

 

deadlybunny: ok

Notes:

The title is inspired by FOB's So Much (for) Stardust. I'm seeing them this summer yay.

This will be my pet project and comfort fic for the time being since I'm too busy to write conventional fics. Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated.

Please also note that English is not my first language. Many thanks.