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Out of everything insane that had happened that day, insomnia is making a serious bid for the most…most…
She’s so tired that she can’t even think of another word for insane, and she still can’t sleep.
Amity twists in her cot, trying to find a more comfortable position to lie in without waking her sleeping friends. Determinedly, she closes her eyes and tries to zone in on her breathing. Relax, relax…just relax…focus on relaxing…focus…
“Argh!”
She groans and sits up, furiously rubbing her eyes. What was going on with her?
“ Ahem .”
Amity nearly jumps out of her skin at the sound of someone clearing their throat. As she scrambles to recover her bearings, a head pokes in through the door.
“Amity? Is…everything alright?”
She flushes a little, embarrassed to have been overheard. “I’m fine, Miss Lilith. I just…can’t sleep.”
Lilith frowns, stepping through the doorway. “Is something the matter? I know that my sister’s spare rooms aren’t exactly the most…luxurious, but I’m sure we could make it a little nicer.”
Amity says nothing. Lilith looks at her, still concerned (something that Amity’s not sure she’ll ever get used to). She crosses the room and sits on the edge of the teen’s cot, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“Is it something else bothering you, dear?”
Something about her kindly demeanor abruptly sends tears springing to Amity’s eyes. She shakes them away, furiously tucking her knees to her chest and burying her face in her arms. Lilith hums softly, albeit a bit awkwardly.
“Do you want to talk about it? I’m willing to listen.”
Amity nestles her face deeper into her arms, curling into a tighter ball. “Iwantmymom.”
Lilith pauses. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”
The younger witch groans softly. “I…I want my mom. And I hate it because I hate her, but I can’t help it. I- I saw her, when everyone was meeting up with the people who had been puppet-fied and she- she- she didn’t even look at me. She made a point to look away.”
She’s crying before she knows it, deep sobs that sends tremors through her entire body. “Oh, Amity…come here.” Lilith immediately pulls her into an embrace, which only serves to make her cry harder.
“I-it-‘s not- not f-fair,” she mumbles through little hiccups. “It’s no-t fair. She’s my mom . She’s supposed to be relieved to see me after the world almost ends. She’s supposed to run and hug me, and we’re both supposed to cry, and then she’s supposed to tell me how good I did and how proud she is and…and…it’s just not fair. What’s wrong with her that she doesn’t love me like that? What’s wrong with me?!“
Lilith runs a hand through her hair, a pained expression on her face. “Shhh, shhh, shhh. Nothing’s wrong with you, sweet flea. I promise you there’s nothing wrong with you. You are brilliant, brave, beautiful, and more mature than most witches four times your age. It’s not your fault that your mother chooses to ignore it.”
The young witch sobs even harder and Lilith rubs her back soothingly. “Shhhhh. I know. I know it hurts. If I could cast a spell and take the pain away, I would do it in a heartbeat. So would your father, and Camila, and Eda too, because they love you , Amity, and they are so, so proud of you. And so am I.”
She cups Amity’s chin in one hand, guiding the girl to meet her eyes. “Look at me, Amity. I did many things as Head Witch of the Emperor’s Coven, many of them awful. But I did get to do one little bit of good. Do you know what that is?” Amity shakes her head a little. Lilith squeezes her gently in her arms. “I got to mentor one of the greatest young witches of this generation. And I am so, so incredibly proud of the witch she’s become.”
Amity sniffles and snuggles back into Lilith’s arms. The ex-coveness squeezes her shoulders affectionately and settles back to cradle her in her arms, letting her cry into her shoulder.
Slowly, the young witch’s sobbing begins to devolve into littler sniffles. Her old teacher hums, slowly drawing little circles on her back with her pointed nails. “It’s alright to hurt. It’s not your fault. Just let it out. You’ll be ok.”
Amity nods, feeling almost…peaceful, like a weight that had been lifted from her chest. She sighs and then abruptly yawns, getting a chuckle from Lilith.
“We ought to get you to sleep, dear. Here, lie down.”
Carefully, she helps the girl lie down and brushes her bangs from her face.. “There. Good?”
Amity nods, curling around a nearby pillow. Her old teacher goes to stand, but Amity catches her hand.
“Can…can you stay until I fall asleep? Please? I know it’s childish, but…”
Lilith’s face softens and she settles back down, shifting so that Amity can rest her head in her lap. “It’s not childish, dear. And of course I can.”
She strokes Amity’s hair lightly as the girl closes her eyes. “And besides, after everything you’ve been through? I think you’ve earned the right to get to be a child.”