Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Vio had returned to the Tower a bit later than he'd expected, the sun was well and truly gone from the sky. According to Vaati, there’d been a sighting of some Hyrulean soldiers wandering through the forest a little too close to the Tower’s entrance. Vio was smart enough to know it was probably an excuse to be rid of him for the day. He understood, the feeling was mutual. He didn’t even find anyone out there anyway, thank Hylia.

Vio shrugged his room’s door open with his shoulder and set down his belongings on the floor, stopping completely in his tracks as he processed what was in front of him.

A gigantic, ash-coloured creature was sprawled out on the bedroom floor, with a myriad of unnaturally-bent limbs and tendrils spread out across the carpet. After a brief moment of panic, Vio realised that he was indeed looking at his friend Shadow, and not a deadly eldritch monster. 

No, this monster was nice and not at all deadly. Very fortunate for him indeed.

Shadow had two and a half pairs of arms folded under his head, a few exposed fangs gleaming in the dim moonlight. His breath came out in gentle, rhythmic huffs that reminded Vio of a dragon.

He wasn’t aware that Shadow needed to sleep, he’s never seen him do it before. Did he even need sleep? Curious, the violet hero quietly approached the sleeping monster with featherlight steps, careful as to not to wake him up. Vio came to the conclusion that anyone else in his situation would have probably found the many-limbed, many-mouthed beast before him horrifying, but Vio did not.

He found him fascinating . Very much so. Besides, Shadow’s jokes were hilarious.

Vio didn’t want to pry too much, especially while Shadow was sleeping, but he was simply too curious not to pass up an opportunity to know a little bit more about his unusual friend. After ensuring that Shadow was truly asleep, Vio knelt and gingerly held a hand to the beast’s head, carefully avoiding his eyes. Surprisingly, he found the monster was utterly freezing to the touch. Did he not give off body heat? Maybe he was cold-blooded, like a lizard. Or, a less-interesting option, maybe he was just chilly. The windows had been left open, after all. 

Upon further examination, Vio found that Shadow had smooth, ash-black skin that seemed to spike up in strange, fur-like tendrils along his spine. A particularly long patch crowned his head, resembling a tuft of hair not unlike the stupid, messy bangs he had in his more ‘Hylian’ form.

Vio leaned back on his heels, admiring Shadow as he slept for a long moment. When he was awake, Shadow typically wore this dumb, lopsided grin that crinkled up his features in a way the violet hero couldn’t accurately pinpoint with words at the moment. It was odd, he thought, to see his friend with such a genuine, blissful expression. It was a rare sight, but an appreciated one.

Vio suddenly wondered if the room was too cold for Shadow, or if the beast was actively radiating a chill in his sleep with how bloody freezing the carpet was.

Or, maybe this wasn’t sleep, Vio’s mind couldn’t help but supply. He didn’t know too much about cold-blooded animals, but what he did know stipulated that, if Shadow were one, the room was likely far too cold for him to be comfortable in. And, even worse, ectotherms had a tendency to shut down if their body temperature reached low enough levels. Maybe Vio was being paranoid, he probably was. But it couldn’t hurt to be careful.

Vio quietly rose to his feet and hurried over to his bags that he had left by the door earlier, fishing around for their contents. Finding his desired item, he returned and sank down to be level with Shadow on the floor. Carefully, he lifted one of his friend’s large, clawed hands and quickly slid the object beneath his arms so it was snug under his neck.

It was a fire rod. The sanguine gemstone at its end gleamed with heat, already doing its job to warm him up. Vio suppressed a chuckle as Shadow eventually stirred, lazily manoeuvring the rod under his chin with a sleepy huff. Vio concluded it was cute.

Chapter Text

“Hey. Can you hear me?”

“...yeah.”

“Do you want me to stay with you?... I can leave.”

There was a long pause. Vio took that as a no, and turned to do just that.

“...um. Please stay.”

Alright then.

~

There was still the occasional rumble of thunder outside, but it was distant, softened by the walls.

Rain was pelting the window across the room, creating a dull din Vio personally found rather comforting. He could understand why Shadow did not, however.

He was still curled up on the floor beside the bed, and Vio could already see from here that his entire body was tensed like a bowstring ready to snap. Several sets of arms were curled tightly around his body, hiding his face. The end of his hat was still visible behind it all, flicking back and forth anxiously by his feet.

Vio sat a healthy distance across from him on the floor. He opted not to speak or stare, instead examining the darkened window and the rain outside.

They both sat like that in silence for a while, before another bout of thunder rumbled their bones, causing Shadow to flinch out of his melancholy stupor. Surprisingly, he was the first to speak.

“I’m sorry I ran off.” he mumbled, muffled by the wall of limbs over his face.

“It’s okay.”

“...You shouldn’t have to see me like this.”

“I don’t care about that, Shadow. You know that.”

“Yeah, but I.” he broke off with a frustrated huff. He went quiet for a moment, before Vio noticed a glowing red eye peek through that wall. “Did I hurt you?”

He sighed. Of course he’d ask that. “No, I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me.”

Shadow stared at him, unmoving.

Vio huffed a laugh. It was more of a forceful breath, if anything. “Really, I'm okay.”

“But I scared you.”

Ah. What could Vio say to that? He had been scared.

A thunderstorm had started about two hours prior, causing loud bouts of thunder that trembled the very walls of their home. In retrospect, Vio thought, Shadow had never heard thunder before, so he had likely assumed something monumentally terrible was happening.

Vio had been reading in another room when he heard a violent crack of lightning, followed by a loud shattering-crash from the kitchen. Vio had walked in, horrified to see his partner had been scrabbling about on the tile floor, all fangs and maws and limbs and spitting feverish desperate curses as he bled all over the broken hyaline-glass shards under his feet.

Vio didn’t even have a chance to speak when Shadow suddenly bound across the room on powerful legs, forcefully tossing him aside and bolting into the nearest room with reckless abandon, slamming it behind him.

Yes, Vio concluded, it was certainly scary.

After some thought, he adjusted his approach and assumed a careful expression.

“It was just sudden, that’s all. I didn’t expect you to just,” Vio waved a hand, “y’know?

“If anything, I should be the one asking if you’re alright. You were really scared.”

Shadow said nothing, so they both lapsed into a tense silence. There was no thunder outside this time. Vio waited patiently.

“It’s just…” Shadow began, letting a pair of taloned arms fall to the floor, “it’s stupid.”

Vio stayed quiet to allow him time to elaborate, but he never did.

Maybe a different approach, then.

“Is it alright if I touch you?” he asked.

Shadow chuckled, humourless and wounded. “I don’t know why you’d want to, but sure.”

Vio frowned, scooting closer to squeeze one of his hands. It had sharp claws, and was very cold.

“Do you really think of yourself that way?” Vio whispered.

“What else is there to think, Vio? Look at me.”

Shadow dropped his remaining limbs to his sides, pinning Vio with a fanged, seven-eyed stare.

He didn’t flinch. “I’m looking.”

Shadow deflated and looked down at his hands, dejected. “...just. I’m really fucking dangerous, Vio.”

Vio took another one of his hands, holding them close to his chest.

“I don’t see that, Shadow. You’re not dangerous. At least, not if you don’t want to.”

Shadow looked like he was going to argue, but Vio kept talking.

“Vaati made you in that mirror so you could destroy towns and kill many people. Sure, you may have fulfilled the former to some extent in regards to the local villages, but you’ve never killed anyone, Shadow. You chose not to.”

Shadow looked at him with a conflicted expression. Vio shuffled closer until they were pressed together from hip to shoulder.

“I’ve hurt people.” Shadow spoke quietly, just loud enough for Vio to hear his voice crack.

“You didn’t know how fragile Hylians were at the time. You didn’t know.”

“I’m dangerous.”

“Never on purpose.”

The look Shadow fixed him was tortured, clearly not liking what he was going to say next.

“I could kill you.”

Vio sighed, searching his eyes for a moment.

“...Would you do that on purpose?”

Shadow baulked, caught off-guard. “Wh-no! Of course not!”

“Then it wouldn’t be your fault, would it?”

“But what if I did hurt you? I nearly did, today.”

Vio smiled. “Then I'd forgive you.”

Shadow looked like he was going to argue, but Vio pulled him in for a hug. Shadow tensed for a moment, before breaking down and wrapping all his arms around him, doing his best to hide his face in the crook of his neck.

“I love you. So much, Shadow. 

“Your entire existence doesn’t hinge off of killing people. It doesn’t have to be, you realise that now.”

“You are not a monster.” Vio paused for a bit, then backpedalled,“Uh. Wait, I mean, not like a-”

“ I get it, ” Shadow laughed weakly, “and um. Thanks.”

Vio kissed his head. “Don’t mention it. I was just terrified I would say something wrong.”

“You nearly did, dumbass.”

As he recovered from his impromptu laughing fit, Vio came to a realisation.

He knew that even if he were to spend the rest of the evening reiterating to Shadow that he wasn’t dangerous and that he is loved , the shade probably still wouldn’t believe it. 

That was okay. An internalised, existential terror regarding the mortality of everyone around you doesn't just disappear overnight. He’d be impressed if it did, this emotional stuff takes time.

“..How many eyes do I have right now?”

Vio leaned back and tilted Shadow’s face with one hand so he could see better. “About seven,” he said, glancing down, “one for each arm, almost. I can’t really see from here.”

“Har har.” Shadow deadpanned. Then, he looked confused. “Wait, About? ”

“It’s dark! It’s hard to tell!”

“My eyes glow in the dark are you blind or insane-

They were okay for now.

Chapter Text

Shadow did not know his true origins. He didn’t know the self he was before crawling out of the Dark Mirror’s depths, all he knew is that he is, and always has been.

He was himself, he was Shadow. Shadow Link. Link? No, just Shadow, then.

His name. His body. These things belong to him. Ganon made them, but he didn’t give them to him, as there was no him to give them to. Until suddenly, one day, there was. But he wasn’t given them then either. He took them, changed them until they were his own. They belonged to a swirling, virulent mass of magic behind a mirror, and now they belonged to him. 

There was a monster, with his name and his body, and now that monster is him .

…Shadow let himself go.

His figure slipped, twisting and contorting as shapes underneath pulled themselves to the surface and into form. Arms, legs, tentacles and other formless, nameless parts grew from his body, stretching and growing and growing beyond the confines of smallness that came with a Hylian façade. Eyes, countless and baleful, formed all over his skin, rolling in their sockets as his body lurched forwards under newfound weight.

…Shadow didn’t know what he was. The thought made his guts twist, and he grit his teeth. (He had more than he did before, longer and sharper, crammed into all his mouths. He couldn’t close some of them properly with the amount of teeth, but he personally liked it that way. )

It was familiar, it was something he knew.

But, there were other things, too. Other things he knew.

Shadow knew that having plenty of limbs and digits felt right, and having countless eyes made him feel safe. He wanted to perceive and grasp and touch the world with more arms and hands that a tiny Hylian body could provide. He was pretty sure Hylians couldn’t just grow stuff wherever they wanted, as he’d gathered with his limited interactions with them. They thought he was terrifying, monstrous even. Not like he cared, he really didn’t.

Shadow knew about the lives of Hylians, to an extent. They traded these pointy, shiny things called rupees for some reason, he had no idea why. He’d never even seen a Rupee before, but he knew what they were, which was pretty weird. That happened every now and then, which was also weird.

He crawled out the Dark mirror with nothing but his name and his body, imbued with thoughts and familiarities that didn’t belong to him. Did he take those, too? He never remembered wanting them. They were just there , like he was. From the beginning.

Sometimes he thinks about just leaving , just running off into the woods or something, away from Vaati and Ganon. Though he quickly backtracks on going through with that idea, Ganon is probably definitely strong enough to swiftly end his life if he ever were to step out of line. Besides, he’s only allowed to leave the Tower if he’s being supervised anyway.

Shadow knew why he was here, why he existed.

Vaati had beaten it into his head since the moment he could even process sensation, sprawled out on that cold, stone floor as the newly-formed edges of his consciousness bled into the air. He existed to hurt people. That was why Ganon had made him, why Vaati had been resurrected to boss him around in the first place. He was a weapon, forever changing and forever-regrowing with enough teeth and claws for every person in Hyrule with extra to spare.

Until, one night in the woods, change appeared. Dressed in violet, bearing a sword in his left hand that gleamed brighter than all of Shadow’s fangs put together.

A lot of things Shadow once knew, he wasn’t so sure about anymore.

He’d never had a friend before, or even really anyone that didn’t scream at him existing or order him to eat someone. It was admittedly a foreign experience to actively enjoy being around someone, and to have that enjoyment be returned equally in kind. 

At least, Shadow hoped Vio did. Why? He didn’t know. He’d never really hoped for anything before, he probably wasn’t supposed to.

For a while, he decided to keep the whole ‘shapeshifting thing’ under wraps when Vio accompanied him on mandatory partols and stuff (fuck you, Vaati.).          Shadow found it somewhat humiliating to have to hide such a core part of himself, but after remembering how scared the Hylian townspeople were of him during the castle raid, he just couldn’t bear to inflict that fear on his newfound friend. 

So, he bottled it all up. Kept his form consistent, to the best of his ability. Shadow knew that Vio was already aware he wasn’t Hylian, but “not-Hylian '' is a pretty godsdamn broad net to cast if he was being honest. Though it did mean he could get away with certain traits (They didn’t have claws, right? No? lame-) so he couldn’t complain. Two legs, two arms, two eyes. A person, all people had that. Sometimes less, but never more. Surely this couldn't be too hard?

Understatement of the fucking century, Shadow wanted to bite his past self really bad for being so stupid.

After only a couple weeks, it felt like his skin was fucking crawling with barely-contained restless energy, slowly ravaging its way out with every breath he stole, every step he took on only two legs. At one point there had been close call where Vio had said something so fucking funny, it resulted in Shadow laughing so hard that he ended up growing a few extra fingers in his cackling fit.

 He had resorted to biting them off when Vio’s back was turned, blaming the black bloodstains on the carpet as an inkspill from forever ago.

When Shadow was finally brave enough to tell him, he had been terrified that Vio would react like the townspeople did in that town he ravaged; with terror and hatred. Shadow hadn’t cared what those people had thought about him at the time, but for some reason he cared Very Much what Vio thought about him (at this point, he was beginning to know why).

So when he’d pulled the swordsman aside on one of the Tower’s balconies one day and attempted to explain it all without getting too emotional, he was utterly floored to have been met with indifference and support. At that point, Shadow’s goal of not getting too emotional had been thrown out the window with reckless abandon.

Vio didn't care. Like, at all. Well at least he wasn’t scared, though the Hylian had so many questions that he had to stop talking just to catch his breath a couple times. Silly. 

After a long back-and-forth, Vio seemed to have finally ran out of questions and they lapsed into a comfortable silence. It was nice to just exist , to just look out over the horizon sitting next to his favourite person. The sun hurt his eyes, but admittedly it was kinda pretty, especially when it reflected off of Vio’s hair in the way it was doing right now. 

He knew he was staring but at this point, he didn’t have the energy to care.

Things were a lot nicer after that, a lot less suffocating. There were still some things he was keeping from Vio but he’d definitely save that for another time. Or just never, that would be preferred. He’d rather die than have that get out. (a sentiment that later proved redundant, as he’d learn about a monthish later that his feelings were returned.)

Although, It wasn’t fair, Shadow thought one night as Vio slept beside him, how fragile all of this was. How fragile Vio was, being Hylian and all. Mortal. It was the only thing he could think about, especially after what had happened earlier in the night as Vio murdered his brother Green in a duel. Shadow was still hung up on that (and very touched that Vio would literally kill for him), he kept thinking what would've happened if Green had won. It hadn’t been impossible.

Despite Shadow being the stuff of nightmares himself, the mere thought of anything at all happening to Vio was more than enough to terrify him. Unlike Shadow, Vio could die.

The thought followed him into his dreams, until he was suddenly woken by a loud crash a few rooms away. Vio was gone too, which made him paranoid. The Hinoxes had probably raided the cellars and were being nuisances or something, but it was still a good idea to check.

So when he’d made his way to the Mirror room and found an unconscious Hinox and Vio looking uncharacteristically nervous, he’d turned to the mirror itself for an explanation.

And- 

Hurt. so much. 

A deep, roiling heartbreak (too much, too much ) assailed his guts as if he’d eaten some dying animal that was trying to claw its way back out. 

Shadow felt pain from time-to-time, like when he was eating his dinner one night and accidentally bit off a few of his fingers. It stung, but they would grow back. It was nothing.

But the– this , this was too much. 

Pain quickly gave way to rage, it spilled out and into his visage in the form of gnashing teeth and tearing claws and limbs grabbing onto something and tearing it apart again and again and again until there was nothing left but that stupid fucking mirror .

Vio was gone. There was red blood on his hands, definitely not Shadow’s own. Whatever.  

Crawling across the cold, stone floor, He clutched the mirror’s rim like a lifeline as he stared at himself. All of himself, the disgusting crooked limbs, the countless baleful red eyes staring back and the tears – inky black – trickling down to stain gritted fangs. 

Shadow had been born from this mirror.

Vaati had too, he knew. That fucking demon was bound to this thing as much as Shadow was, maybe he hated it too. If it broke, so did they. Both he and Vaati, the primordial and powerful beings they were, could be erased from existence by a chunk of glass polished with silver. 

He leered down at his hands, they were gnarled and stained. Horrible. 

Shadow knew how dangerous he was, how much destruction he could –and has– caused.  Leaning into the mirror’s cold surface, it would be better this way, he thought.                         Hyrule would be safer. Vio would be safer. That was all that mattered.

He tightened his fingers around the mirror’s rim, and pulled.

As cold shards dug into his skin, Shadow knew he deserved this, he knew that for a fact.

Then, there was nothing, for a while at least. It was dark.

The dark energy that constituted Shadow’s body dissipated, moving somewhere else, somewhere below. He was everywhere and nowhere at the same time, moving down, down.

Quantifying the passage of time was simply not an option when he was Hylia-knows how far away from sunlight, he had no way of telling how long it had been. Months, years? He barely understood the concept. Memories were weird in this frigid abyss, gaining and losing as clouds of gloomy miasma came and went. It was a struggle to remember his name, some days. Fleeting scenes and feelings slithered through his fingers like smoke, he had to fight to keep them close, to prevent them from dissolving away. Some definitely did.

He remembered feeling hurt about something, but it was far away now. Like the spots of light on the horizon, his prison’s only source of light, perceivable but unclear in origin.

One day after who-knows how many, Shadow witnessed a flicker of light, brighter than anything he’d seen in a while, settle down on the dusty stone floor. At first he’d thought it was one of those glowing plants, but no. This was something else.

He approached the strange object. It was flat and shiny, like a mirror.

A mirror. Shadow had been born from a mirror, the gloom supplied.

Was it this mirror? It was so bright, it hurt to look at.

But it was so warm, a thought coalesced. He wanted to touch it.

He could barely make out spots of colour within the blinding light, mostly different shades of purple. Familiar, inviting. He was definitely going to touch it.

Shadow reached out a few hands, and let the blinding embrace consume him.

“Shadow? Hey, I’m here. Can you hear me?”

…Shadow didn’t know what he was.

But, yes, there were some things he did know.