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Kaeya likes to think he’s a cat person. He and cats tend to have a cordial relationship; he gives the fuzzy felines of Mondstadt pets and treats in exchange for a mouse-free, bug-free complex. He’s even given the groups of cats family names; for instance, the ones around the Cat’s Tail are undoubtedly named after their resident mixologist, the Kätzlein crew, and the clowder around the Knights of Favonius building are the Krieger Clan. Especially for the ferociousness they possess against any visiting sparrows.
Alas, he may resign as the Mondstadtian cat's favorite Knight soon. Because a new cat, one he’s never spotted before, stalked up to him about five minutes prior to this thought and gave him a nasty glare.
He’s unsure about what he’s done to get this new cat’s ire, but Kaeya was willing to try anyway.
Was willing to start new with this red, long-furred, almost regal-looking cat. Sophisticated, in the way all the other Mondstadt street cats were not. Likely to do with its little tie.
And an unbelievably cute, round face.
Back to the present. Said cat has not made a move, despite Kaeya inching closer to it and cooing. In fact, he believes that the flat look in the cat’s eyes became even more unimpressed.
“Kitty,” he coos one more time. To the shock of no one, it does not react.
“Alright,” he sighs, throwing his hands up. “Perhaps you are just a stubborn one. I’ll leave you alone for now,” Kaeya retreats, to the cold office of the Knights.
To his surprise, he hears the brushing of fur follow him.
Upon his arrival at the large door of the KoF building, the fire-red cat meows. When Kaeya looks over his shoulder to eye the cat, it seems to be embarrassed, looking away.
“You can come in if I carry you in,” Kaeya says, folding his arms across his chest. “How does that sound?”
The cat’s ears go flat on their head, but when Kaeya bends down to pick it up, it merely stiffens in his arms. Nothing less. Nothing more.
“Good kitty,” he croons. “Stay still, now. We’ll be in my office soon.”
Interestingly, when Kaeya arrives in his office, the cat jumps to Diluc’s favorite spot–the corner of his couch– in his office.
“Huh, I don’t know how I didn’t connect the dots,” Kaeya smiles to himself, bending down to the cat’s eye level. “You do remind me of that bastard,” he half-jokes. He reaches out with his hand, tugging at the tie around the cat’s mane. “Catluc,” he grins mischievously.
The cat’s ears flatten once more on their head, as if responding to his teasings.
“Catluc,” Kaeya says again, delighted. “That’s it.”
Catluc huffs and turns tail, facing the back of the couch. Kaeya sits beside it, dragging a dossier of local Treasure Hoarders with him to mull over at the start of the workday.
-
Catluc stays put the entire day, even when Kaeya moves from couch to office chair. It meows a little unsteadily when he gets up to walk out for his lunch break.
“Oh, do we have separation anxiety? But we just met,” Kaeya teases the cat. He drifts over to Catluc and brings out a finger to poke its nose. Catluc presses itself further into the corner.
“Alright. I’ll leave you alone,” Kaeya chides.
Catluc meows mournfully in protest.
“You want me to stay?” Kaeya sits down. “Okay, but if I starve to death, that’s on you.”
Catluc purrs, agreeing.
“You can progress our relationship at your own rate, then. I won’t rush you.”
-
Kaeya takes Catluc home.
He has to. Catluc objected to the idea of going with Lisa to the Cat’s Tail, and with Klee and Albedo to the odd juxtaposition of a messy playpen and a cold, sterile alchemy house. And Kaeya was not going to ask Jean, or Wood, or any other Knight. Or leave poor Catluc alone in his office.
Plus, he thinks he’s grown rather fond of a slightly grumpy, slightly affectionate cat that reminds him of Diluc. Lifelong affection towards the Ragnvindr line means Kaeya generally is partial towards things that remind him of Diluc.
Catluc scrambles onto Kaeya’s bed before Kaeya can stop him, having pondered about where Catluc would stay in his residence on the walk home. Well, he supposes this dilemma is solved, as Catluc has once again chosen Diluc’s favorite spot to annoy him in his house; the corner of Kaeya’s bed. The left corner specifically, nearest to the door. One that makes a quick escape, if Kaeya snaps at him for waking him up too early in the morning (he usually does).
Kaeya laughs. “You’re just like him. So prim and proper, paws tucked in nicely and neatly, even in a casual setting like this.” He reaches out to pet Catluc, and when Catluc makes no visible sign of rejection he brushes a rough hand on soft, long fur, petting Catluc’s back. “Aren’t you a cute one?”
It takes a few pets before Catluc properly purrs. When they pull away, Kaeya’s stomach rumbles.
“Oh, apologies. I didn’t even think about getting you stuff to eat,” he tells Catluc. “It completely escaped my mind.” He reaches out to pet the cat sympathetically. “Will you forgive me?”
Catluc tilts his head at him questioningly, before heaving itself to its paws and bumping its head against Kaeya’s palm.
“Aw, you,” Kaeya coos. “Adorable,” he says, pinching its fluffy round cheeks. “Don’t worry. I don’t know how long you’re going to stay, but I’ll get you something good.”
Kaeya makes good on his promise, spoiling Catluc with different choices in food. Minced meat, smashed fish, a whole raw fish… dry kibble… even milk, despite Albedo warning him that cow’s milk would not please their stomachs. Generalizations do mean something though, he supposes.
In the end, Catluc chooses milk (ha, Albedo!) while turning nose against all the raw food and the kibble, yet begs for some of Kaeya’s own bit of food.
“You sure, buddy? This type of food won’t nourish your body,” Kaeya says when Catluc snatches a morsel of his dish. “Plus, Mondstadt food is very heavy,” he warns.
Catluc looks smug as he chews the piece of Northern Smoked Chicken he’s taken.
Later, when Kaeya readies himself for bed, he asks where Catluc wants to sleep. “Fancy spending the night in the living room, bud?”
Catluc tilts its head at him, then jumps back to that corner of the bed Diluc likes to perch on. The amount of “just like Diluc’s” Kaeya has thought of the entire day has become increasingly concerning, but Catluc’s steady presence distracts him again.
“Okay then,” he mutters, making sure to face the other way so his feet don’t curl inwards towards Catluc. Unfortunately, if someone breaks in (that is not Diluc or Rosaria), he’s going to take a little more time fending them off due to his back to the door.
“Goodnight,” he says. Catluc trills, settling down on the bed in a tight ball. Kaeya lays down and sleeps.
When he inevitably wakes up in the middle of the night, Kaeya feels a heavy, warm ball of fluff curled up near his chest.
It’s Catluc, facing the same way Kaeya is, pressed hard against Kaeya. He scoffs quietly, and goes back to sleep.
-
“I’d introduce you to Diluc if I could,” Kaeya says mournfully to the cat, who is curled up on his office couch two days later. “But he doesn’t come around during normal civilian hours these days, apparently.”
Catluc looks at him, wholly unimpressed. (It’s been four whole days).
“Don’t eye me like that, Catluc,” Kaeya admonishes, despite Catluc likely not understanding him and his worries. “I’ve always been a worrier. Perhaps he’s just too busy for people like me.”
Kaeya wouldn’t normally say this. But the past few days, he hasn’t even heard about the Darknight Hero. Diluc hasn’t written to him, either.
And with Diluc suddenly being in his life again–well, it’s not something he takes for granted, per say. But he got used to it. They slipped into old rhythms, like they’ve never been apart, never been at each other’s throats, or blades. They fell into what was natural for them once more.
“Well, at least I have you here, Catluc,” he pets Catluc’s head, thinking out loud.
Catluc seems to agree, with a meow and a snuggle coming Kaeya’s way. He rolls his eye affectionately; this cat has Kaeya wrapped around its little paws.
-
Three days later, after a week from not hearing from Diluc (even Adelinde sent him a letter), with Kaeya harboring simmering nerves from the possibility of Diluc gone again, the Traveler arrives.
And what a sight they are, huffing and puffing as they scramble their way to Kaeya’s office. He stepped outside of his room, Catluc hot on his heels, when he heard the Knights of Favonius doors slam loudly against the wall. Kaeya winced at the sound, but it did not exactly surprise him with the incoherent chatter of Paimon approaching.
“Well, well, what do we have here?” he asks as they stumble over.
The Traveler flashes him a smile, and Paimon pants. “Are you sure we couldn’t have walked our way here, Traveler? Paimon is exhausted.”
“Don’t you fly?” Kaeya asks, crossing his arms and very pointedly looking at the gap of air between Paimon and the ground.
“Flying is exhausting! Paimon has said this before!” she stomps in the air. “You will never feel how exhausting it is to fly.”
“Paimon,” the Traveler warns.
“Oh, right!” the fairy sobers up. She takes a deep breath, before launching into a detailed explanation about the “cat-ification” of multiple of their friends. One from each nation, in fact.
Kaeya has no particular interest in any of these person-turned-cats, but his interest picks up upon hearing that the Dendro Archon herself housed a person-turned-cat named Wandermeow. Scarameow. Both names brought smiles to the pair’s faces.
“Well, we were looking for clues about our friends not being around, and heard Diluc has been missing. I’m going to assume that…” Paimon trails off, looking at Catluc beside Kaeya.
It all clicks, for Kaeya. A little too belatedly for his liking. “Diluc?” he startles at Catluc beside him.
He stumbles unsteadily, processing. “That,” gesturing to the cat, “is Diluc? I’ve been taking care of and babying Diluc Ragnvindr?”
Catluc– or Diluc– looks away with a meow, embarrassed.
“Well,” Paimon says. “You’re in luck, because the Traveler can change Diluc back to his normal human self.”
The Traveler nods. “Did Jean or Diluc tell you anything about Dvalin? It works a little like that.”
“I know a little about it,” Kaeya says. He knows a lot. But he white lies anyway. “Are you going to try and do it to him now?”
“Granted he wants it,” the Traveler says. Cat-ified Diluc dips his head in assent.
“Darn,” Kaeya sighs. “Catluc is just adorable, and then you’re going to turn him back into an ugly, fur-less human once more. A shame.”
He hears a hiss under him.
“Don’t sass me,” Kaeya admonishes. He scoops up the small, furry cat of a brother into his arms, whose ears are flat against his head. “It’s the truth.”
Diluc would make some snarky, unprovoked remark about Kaeya’s relationship with the truth if he were human. Oh, Kaeya misses him already, and misses Catluc already.
“Get it over with,” Kaeya half sobs. “It’s for the greater good.”
The Traveler and Paimon, who have been looking at their interactions with fond smiles, nod. “Alright, you can hold him for this.”
Kaeya holds Diluc out in his arms, screwing his eye shut as the Traveler seems to draw energy away from his little furry body. Absorbing some type of weird, cat energy, almost. It gives off a bright, blinding light.
One moment, Kaeya is holding Catluc. The next, his hands have found purchase among a thick coat.
“Kaeya. Unhand me at once,” Diluc says, almost as an impatient demand. (And what a joy it is, to hear his voice again!)
“What a shock!” Kaeya speaks, putting his hands on his hips, utterly unsurprised. “The wine tycoon himself, in the flesh.”
“Do not joke,” Diluc glares, and Kaeya sees Catluc and Diluc’s glare blurred together. “I,” he starts, but trails off with a blush rising in his cheeks. “Barbatos, give me strength.”
Kaeya laughs, in stitches. The Traveler beside him giggles, smiling wide, while Paimon floats in the air and bounces in amusement.
“Hahaha, Diluc is getting as red as his hair! Traveler, where’s your Kamera?” Paimon jeers.
Diluc groans. “No pictures, please.”
“So,” Kaeya prompts Diluc. “Did you really understand everything I said? Dearest Catluc seemed very responsive for a feline.”
“Yes,” Diluc says, burying his face in hands. “I apologize for… everything my cat-addled body did.”
“It’s okay,” Kaeya says. “I forgive you. After all,” he reaches out with grabby hands towards Diluc’s face, prying his hands away. “You do have the same cheeks as Catluc.”
Then he pinches them with a huge smile, Diluc becomes impossibly crimson in the face, and the iconic duo screech with laughter, the noise echoing off in normally silent hallways.