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Wylan
That lecture was boring. Not that the course itself had been interesting, that far. There was so much Wylan hated about studying economics, mainly that his professor seemed just as displeased to teach the class as Wylan was to attend it. The rest of the students had given up on taking notes at least ten minutes ago, but next to him, Wylan could hear the distinct sound of enthusiastic scribbling. Was Kuwei that interested in economics? Was professor Keegard really speaking that fast? Wylan peeked at Kuwei’s notebook with genuine curiosity. What he saw were not notes, however.
Wylan took in the harsh lines, the softer ones, the shades, the highlights. The bridge of that nose, the curve of that smile, Wylan knew them too well not to recognize them. Kuwei was drawing Jesper Fahey, who was sitting just a couple of rows in front of them. The resemblance was uncanny (who knew Kuwei was that talented?) but something about those drawings made Wylan’s mouth twist in a grimace. Why Jesper, of all students?
Wylan found himself staring at the boy from across the classroom. Perhaps, he considered, had he known how to draw he would have sketched Jesper as well. His lips were prettier than those in the sketches, though. He supposed it was hard to get those details right from such a distance. As if feeling Wylan’s gaze on him, Jesper turned his head, letting their eyes meet. That ever-present, mischievous spark in his eyes was missing from Kuwei’s sketches as well. It took the wink Jesper shot him to shake Wylan from his haze. Without so much as a wave, he turned to face professor Keegard again.
It wasn’t as if Wylan did not know Jesper - far from it, in fact. They were part of the same group of friends, which forced them to interact on the daily. And yet, it was still weird to be caught staring. So weird, in fact, that something below Wylan’s skin started boiling at the realization. The thought he was blushing pumped his blood even faster, so he ducked his head and hoped that his hair would sufficiently cover his face.
He took another peek at Kuwei’s notebook from his red makeshift curtain of locks, trying to distract himself once more, but something new caught his eye. Kuwei had been scattering small hearts around the sketches. Around Jesper’s face. Wylan could feel his heart beating in his stomach. Now, he understood something he could not earlier.
A series of thoughts started running through his mind. First, how long had Kuwei liked Jesper? Second, how did Wylan not notice it? Last, - and at the risk of sounding too informal for you readers, but with every intention to report this story as faithfully to the truth as possible – wasn’t putting hearts around a sketch of the guy you like just so cringe?
Now, Wylan was mad. He had no reason to be, but if you had asked him, he would have replied that he also had no reason not to be. How long had Kuwei been subtly staring at Jesper, his friend, drawing creepy sketches of him from afar? It did not matter if Wylan found them realistic (or even pretty!), that was really not the point. Wylan just did not know exactly what the point was, but something about this whole situation irked him. Kuwei irked him. So much so, in fact, that when the lesson ended, he bolted out of the classroom without saying a word, leaving a deeply confused Kuwei Yul-Bo behind.
Nina
Nina liked to think of herself as an empath. Not the ones they used to make fun of on TikTok, mind you – or maybe exactly them, Inej would argue -, a real empath. She praised herself to be able to feel the energy shifting in a room as soon as it happened.
So, when Kuwei Yul-Bo sat down next to Jesper in the library on that Tuesday afternoon, Nina could have sworn that the air around Wylan on her right had gotten thicker. She shot him a glance and found him staring at the two boys right across from them. His eyes were emotionless, but something was off about him. A real empath could always tell, and a nosy friend would always ask. And although nosy at her core, Nina was also incredibly behind on her assignments, so she kept quiet and vowed to only annoy Wylan if the aura around him got too negative to bear.
It did, and, in all honesty, it would have made her more productive to just shake her by the arm instead of thinking that hard beside her. Nina turned to Wylan, who was gripping his pencil as if he had some unresolved business with it. That was what she would usually do while studying for a general linguistics exam, but it was not hard to see that the issue was unrelated to course material. The real source of annoyance was the pretty boy chatting with Jesper at the other end of the desk. And Nina knew exactly that Kuwei was the problem because until he sat down, Wylan had looked his friendly, calm, usual self.
Nina nudged Wylan in the ribs with her elbow, making him spasm and choke down a startled cry. He turned to look back at her now, still upset but also rather confused. She gave him a look that supposedly served as a giant question mark – or rather, a silent “what the fuck is happening right now?”. In response, Wylan shook his head and turned back to his notes. A subtle way of telling her that everything was fine, or just to mind her own business. Unfortunately for him, Nina was now too invested to care about her assignments – not that she did care that much about them in the first place, anyway. So, she made it a point to keep an eye on him.
After some careful consideration, Nina gathered that Kuwei was not doing anything annoying per se. He was not being too loud. He was not eating crunchy snacks at the desk. He had not turned on the led lamp before it had gotten dark. All things that would generally get Wylan to his boiling point. What was it exactly that was pissing Wylan off?
Then, Kuwei bumped his head against Jesper shoulder as he let out a soft chuckle, and Nina could see at the corner of her eye Wylan tensing up at the sight. In that moment, something clicked. She quickly went back to her phonology exercises.
Inej
Inej was not particularly fond of parties. The music was often not her taste and she hardly ever felt like socializing. What she thoroughly enjoyed, however, was finding the hosts’ pets and cuddling them. Bonus points if she could people-watch at the same time. This was such a common occurrence that by her third year of university every single pet living in a house of the “party circuit” recognized her as soon as she walked through the door. She firmly believed that was another form of socialization, but Nina would often not share the same sentiment when Inej disappeared for hours at end just to then find her petting a fluffy cat in a hidden corner of some room.
It hardly mattered what Nina thought. Especially on days like this, when she had just survived a week of intense training on top of her usual classes. She loved gymnastics, but sometimes she wondered if she loved it that much. She shook the thought off as soon as it came, trying to focus on the cute tabby cat that was making biscuits on her thighs.
Before she could process it, someone quickly plopped down next to her. She greeted Wylan with a small smile and received an unsure one in return. Nina had told her that something about Wylan had been off in the past few days, so Inej did not ask him what he was doing sitting next to her. It was not unusual, per se. It was just that Jesper often found a way to annoy him into playing some drinking game or another, which was something that Inej often steered clear from.
Inej watched as Wylan introduced himself to the cat, presenting a finger and letting it sniff it. The cat seemed pleased enough to bump its head against Wylan’s hand, gladly accepting the scratches that then came from it. Inej’s smile grew a little bigger at the sight.
She let her eyes wander around the room, trying to find each of their friends – a mental roll call of sorts. This party was one of the quietest ones, she supposed that was the reason for the cat just being able to stroll around the apartment. There were very few people, the music was softer. It was one of those parties you went just to get high and unwind. Jesper and Kaz were on the sofa, chatting as they shared a blunt. She stared at the way Kaz’s jaw contracted while he inhaled the smoke, a small smile playing at his lips because of something Jesper was trying to - seemingly really hard - explain to him.
Too concentrated on Kaz as she was, Inej barely noticed Kuwei sitting down next to Jesper until Kaz regarded him with a nod.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Wylan complained next to her, quiet enough almost not to be heard. Almost. She found him staring in the same direction as her. He was still gently petting the cat, but his eyes were hard now.
Inej contemplated asking for an explanation, but she just fixated her eyes on Kuwei, curious. Kaz had passed him the blunt, and he had rested his free arm around Jesper’s shoulders while he took a hit. Now, the three of them were talking, but Kuwei was paying little attention to Kaz. He just kept brushing his gaze against Jesper’s side profile, absentmindedly. It didn’t take long for Kaz to get up from the couch and come sit next to Inej and Wylan on the floor.
“Didn’t really feel like third-wheeling tonight,” he simply stated before lying down completely flat on the parquet and closing his eyes. Inej fought every bone in her body not to brush his hair away from his forehead. In a poor attempt at containing herself, she tried to turn to Wylan, but he was already at the door. The cat was sitting in his spot, staring around at the sudden lack of scratches, just as confused as her.
Kaz
Wylan had been insufferable all week. Or maybe it was just that Kaz had zero tolerance to unusual behavioral patterns. Regardless, insufferable. In the three years they had spent as roommates, Wylan had never been categorizable as anything other than delightful – and Kaz did not just throw such a term around. Now, however, there was something bothering him and, as if they were some sort of two-headed monster, Kaz as well.
A week – a whole week! – of innocent objects being slammed unceremoniously against unsuspecting surfaces. Books, shoes, bags, they were all the silent victims of Wylan’s (supposed) rage. At least, Kaz hoped he was just angry, because if this was just a new way of setting down his stuff, Kaz had no other choice but to beat Wylan to death with his own belongings.
Now, Kaz had indeed wondered (on day two) if he himself was the cause of this sudden change, but for the life of him he could not find a reason. Plus, he figured, Wylan had stopped dancing around difficult topics with him. Their first year had been a constant adjustment to each other’s habits, but Wylan had never been aggressive before.
Kaz wanted to ask, he really did, but at the same time he really, really did not want to initiate a heart-to-heart conversation. The only solution he could find was hoping for Wylan to eventually, figuratively explode – and just in case he didn’t, Kaz was more than willing to smother him with a pillow while he was sleeping. He was nice like that. The explosion did not come, but an explanation did.
On a – up to that point, at least – quiet Wednesday evening, Wylan entered their apartment calling his name, slamming the door behind him. Kaz reluctantly pushed himself off the bed and contemplated the thought of hurling himself from the window next to it. The tone was that much off. He flinched as he watched Wylan’s bag being thrown on the ground and hoped that his laptop had survived the fall.
“What is it?” Kaz managed out through gritted teeth.
Wylan set the groceries on the counter and started sorting them out, “What’s up with Kuwei and Jesper?” The tone was nonchalant, but the way he was gripping and glaring at that eggplant was not.
Kaz simply stared at his roommate, his head now void of any thought.
“Are you serious?” he asked before he could help himself. There was no way that was what Wylan decided to ask him after a week of monosyllabic responses.
“Since when do you answer a question with another question?”
“I don’t know what’s up with them.”
“They’re not a thing, then?”
If Kaz’s eyebrows could furrow any deeper, he imagined he would be looking like the Grinch. He stayed silent, taking in the image of Wylan dumping a bunch of apples in the bowl on the counter. The poor bowl cluttered against the marble with every apple that crushed against it. Kaz pinched the bridge of his nose at the sound.
Wylan’s phone suddenly rang, and the violence against his groceries came to a stop. Wylan glanced at the screen and then rolled his eyes. He looked even more annoyed now, but still swiped his thumb on the screen and set the phone down.
“Kuwei,” Wylan greeted, voice considerably friendlier now. Kaz stared at him in shock at the sudden change in tone from his safe spot at the other end of the kitchen.
Kuwei’s voice came as chirpy as ever: “Hey, Wylan. Is it a bad time?”
“Not at all,” Wylan replied, slamming a wooden cutting board on the kitchen isle.
“What was that?”
Kaz watched in horror as a very much crazy-eyed Wylan put the poor eggplant from earlier on the cutting board and started slicing it, keeping that fake-friendly tone on all the while: “Don’t worry about it, I was just about to start cooking dinner. What’s up?”
“So, I know you and Jesper are kinda close,” Kuwei began. Wylan simply hummed in response, his knuckles getting whiter around the handle of the kitchen knife.
“Honestly, this is a bit embarrassing to admit, but I have a crush on him.”
Wylan’s face was getting red now, “Really? I never would have guessed.”
Kuwei laughed softly on the other side of the phone. “I know, right?”
Wylan let out a forced chuckle as well, now making little cubes of the eggplant slices. “So, you’re calling just to tell me that?” he asked.
“Well, actually, I was thinking of asking him out on a date and I could use some pointers.”
That was when the knife in Wylan’s hand pierced the wooden cutting board. Kaz’s eyes widened but he stayed silent as he watched Wylan smile, no hint of actual happiness in his expression. Was his roommate losing his mind? Had there been any signs in the past? Kaz had always considered himself a rather observant individual. He would have noticed.
“With Jesper, you should keep it simple. Just take him out for brunch at some jazz club or something. I’ve heard there’s a good one right around the corner from our university.”
“He doesn’t seem like the jazz type.”
“Does anyone?”
“I guess not?”
“See? Well, I have to go. Best of luck on your date. Bye, Kuwei.” Wylan disconnected the call before Kuwei could even get the chance to reply and then looked at Kaz, who was still standing by the door.
“Jesper hates jazz,” he simply stated, dumbfounded.
Wylan smirked, “I know. He’ll be so annoyed.”
That was the moment Kaz realized that his roommate was perfectly sane still - just his kind of sane.
Matthias
Matthias rather enjoyed his afternoon teas with Nina. It was a cute little habit they had fallen into ever since they moved in together six months prior. Their course schedules fit perfectly enough for them to always find their way home by 5 pm, just in time to sit at their small kitchen table and sip a warm cup of tea together. Sometimes, when they had some time to spare during the weekend, they would bake a batch of sweets together and enjoy them with their tea of choice for the next couple of days. It made the start of a new week a bit more bearable.
It was their special time alone, during which Matthias could bathe calmly in the warmth that Nina brought along. No interruptions, no ruckus, just tea and Nina’s adventures. A sacred aspect of their routine, as they often called it. That was, until someone had to ruin it.
It had been a wonderful Saturday afternoon that far: the air outside was getting warmer; the birds were singing, and Matthias had just finished stacking his fresh carrot cake cupcakes on the floral cake stand Nina had recently bought at the flea market, when the doorbell rang.
Nina, who was lying on the couch with her feet prompted against the back of the old green sofa, shot him a confused glance but did not bother getting up to open the door.
“Maybe if we don’t make any noise, they’ll go away,” she whispered, and Matthias stopped in his tracks. That sounded like a good idea, although a bit rude.
“Nina, I know you’re in there!” a voice called from outside the door.
“Wylan?”
Matthias and Nina shared another look. They almost expected it to be Jesper, as he had developed the bad habit of coming over unannounced whenever he felt like it. But, according to Nina, Wylan had been acting weird for the past couple of weeks, give or take, so Matthias supposed that something like this, albeit unexpected, was rather understandable.
He shrugged and went to open the door. And there Wylan stood, looking disheveled and out of breath. Matthias stepped aside as he greeted him, and Wylan simply nodded in his direction before coming inside. Following Nina’s accusatory finger’s silent instructions, he stopped and took off his shoes.
Nina prompted her chin against the arm of the sofa and took a good look at Wylan, “Did you run here?”
“Would you like a glass of water, Wylan?” Matthias added, crossing his arms against his chest.
“Yes, to both,” Wylan managed out as he took deep breaths.
Matthias turned on his heels and walked to the kitchen to fill a glass. He shot a sad look at his watch and then at the cupcakes. He sighed. There was no way Wylan would leave by five, he looked way too upset. Damn it.
As he left the kitchen area, he grabbed a cupcake and set it alongside the glass on the coffee table. Wylan, who was already sitting down next to Nina, thanked him with a small smile. He was still red from the run, Matthias noticed, but he was calmer now.
“So, care to tell us what’s happening?” Nina inquired, grabbing Matthias’ wrist and pulling him down beside her.
“I did something dumb. And something petty. Well, I did the petty thing before the dumb thing but I’m not sure if the petty thing also counts as dumb now. In hindsight maybe I’ve just done two dumb things?”
This was getting too confusing for Matthias to understand. He quickly glanced at Nina, who did not look any less puzzled, however.
“Is this some sort of riddle we need to solve?” she asked, one eyebrow raised in confusion.
Wylan shook his head as he took a bite of the cupcake.
“This is so embarrassing, I wanna die,” he whined, mouth full, some orange frosting stuck on his top lip. Silently, Matthias passed him a napkin from the stack on the table.
“Hey, Matthias is sitting around in a pink frilly apron, I’m sure it doesn’t get more embarrassing than this.”
“It’s never embarrassing to want to keep your clothes clean when you cook,” Matthias muttered in response, but still swiftly took off the apron. Nina quietly patted his thigh.
“I, for one, find it super cute. But let’s not get sidetracked,” she turned to Wylan now, “What did you do?”
Wylan sighed and brushed a curl away from his eyes, “Kuwei asked me for advice on what to do with Jesper on their first date, and I told him to take him to a jazz club for brunch.”
Matthias knitted his eyebrows, “Jesper hates jazz.”
“I know. That’s the point. I was mad.”
“At Jesper?” Nina’s hand squeezed Matthias thigh now. A subtle way to tell him to shut up.
“No! I mean, I don’t know? At Kuwei, mainly.”
“So, this was the petty thing, I assume?” Nina intervened, voice calm but hiding a hint of amusement.
In response, Wylan grumbled and took another bite of the cupcake.
“What’s the dumb thing, then?” Matthias inquired, confused. It felt as if he was missing something important, the necessary key to unlock the meaning of this whole conversation.
“I waited outside the club for the date to end. I wanted to see how it went but I didn’t want to be creepy, so I just sat at a café across the street.”
Now, Nina’s shoulders were shaking as she tried to contain her laughter, “Did you wear a disguise?”
Wylan dropped his head, defeated, “A pair of sunglasses and a baseball cap.”
Nina exploded in a cackle. Matthias uselessly shook her arm to make her stop, shooting Wylan an apologetic smile.
“Are you done?” Wylan asked when she had finally (seemingly) recomposed herself.
“Yes. Please go on, detective. Tell us what you’ve found.”
“Nina, I swear to Ghezen.”
Matthias lightly pinched her arm now.
“I’m done!” she assured, swatting Matthias’ hand away.
“Fine, okay. Kuwei kissed him.”
Nina’s eyes softened at those words, just as the wheels in Matthias’ head had started to turn.
“And Jesper?”
Wylan looked down at the half-eaten cupcake, and the glare he reserved his napkin told Matthias all he needed to know. There was the key.
“He kissed Kuwei back.”
Jesper
Jesper Fahey had not a single clue about what had been going on in his life, as of lately. Everyone had gotten increasingly weird around him, and for the life of him he could not figure out why. Kaz had been glaring at him a little too often for it to be “just his face”, for starters. He would catch Inej and Nina studying him from a distance at least a couple of times a day. And when Matthias looked at him, he would almost always shake his head in what quite frankly looked like disappointment before turning away. But, most importantly, there was something wrong with Wylan. Because, unlike everyone else, Wylan would not speak to him.
Whenever Jesper would try and annoy him, as per schedule, Wylan simply cut their conversations short, kept his eyes glued to the ground and left. After three days of repeatedly getting the cold shoulder, Jesper had then simply given up and started sulking. If Wylan felt like talking to him again, he knew were to find him.
Except the time did not seem to come, and Jesper was now sulking even more. This whole situation felt as if the universe was trying to punish him for something, but he could not, for the life of him, figure out what exactly. Wasn’t that brunch at the jazz club with Kuwei enough torture?
Mind you, this had nothing to do with Kuwei, and it felt a little unfair to talk about their date in those terms. He was a nice enough guy, Jesper just really hated jazz music. They had kissed afterwards, but if the kiss had not made up for the music fiasco, there really was no future for them in sight.
Now, the real issue was that Kuwei wasn’t one to accept being let down gently. So he would, probably purposefully, ignore Jesper’s hints - his messages left on read, the classic “I’m busy”s, the whole “hiding behind bushes to avoid you” little scene. And since Jesper took great pride in the fact that he was the most non-confrontational human being to ever set foot on this earth, he had started running away whenever Kuwei came in sight. It was mean, and it was childish, but Jesper did not care. Well, he did, a little. Definitely not enough, though.
So, when Jesper spotted Kuwei at Nikolai Lantsov’s party exactly one week after their terrible date, he quickly downed the rest of his fourth cup of rum and coke and bolted towards the furthest room he could possibly find, closing the door shut behind him. His head was spinning a little from the alcohol and the short run, so he rested it against the wooden door and hoped not to puke. It could not have been longer than a couple of seconds before someone cleared their throat behind him.
Silently praying he had not just interrupted anything serious this time, Jesper turned around slowly. Much to his relief, however, sitting on the edge of the bed was Wylan. They stared at each other in silence for a couple of seconds before Wylan lowered his gaze to the phone in his hands and locked it.
“What are you doing here?” Jesper asked.
“Just… charging my phone,” Wylan explained without so much as looking at him, just nodding towards the little white cable connected to the outlet next to the bed. His hair bounced lightly at the motion, and Jesper found himself mesmerized at the sight. He had not stood so close to Wylan in a while.
“Didn’t they have any available outlets in the kitchen or were you trying to avoid someone too?” Jesper could not help himself from teasing him. He liked watching Wylan’s ears turn red.
Wylan ignored his question, “Who are you avoiding?”
“Kuwei,” Jesper admitted, sheepishly, and stared as Wylan’s eyes lit up in the dim light of the room.
“I thought you guys got along pretty well,” Wylan said, biting back a smile, “I’m sorry to hear that.” He was clearly tipsy, at the least.
Jesper heard himself laughing now, “You don’t look that sorry to me.”
Wylan hummed, still grinning, “I guess I’m not that great of a liar, am I?”
Jesper observed him for a moment, almost scared that if he didn’t the whole scene would dissolve right in front of his eyes.
“You don’t like Kuwei, huh?”
Wylan shrugged, “Kuwei’s fine.”
Jesper plopped down on the bed and contemplated lying down on the mattress, “Why are you so happy I’m avoiding him then?”
“I’ve drunk so much that if you press enough, I might just tell you. I wouldn’t ask that if I were you.” Wylan finally put his phone on the bedside table and crossed his legs.
“Then, who were you trying to avoid when I walked in?”
Silence filled the room for a couple of seconds before Wylan exhaled, “You, actually.”
“Well, that surely didn’t go well for you,” Jesper’s act fell in a second, “Did I do something?”
He found his voice too meek for his liking.
Wylan softly shook his head next to him, “It’s not about something you did.”
He laid a little back and propped his hands against the mattress to support himself. Jesper could not help but stare at his wrists as he did so. He often wondered how they would fit in his hand, or what his tendons would feel like under his fingertips. He really needed Wylan under his fingertips.
“It’s about something I feel.”
Wylan turned to look at Jesper, eyes uncertain but still pulling him in. And, for the life of him, Jesper e could not look away. The light coming from the lampshade made Wylan’s hair shine the warmest reddish-gold, and Jesper found himself aching to run his fingers through it. His head was spinning. Perhaps it was true that distance could make the heart grow fonder.
Wylan’s lips stretched in a pained smile; the one people sometimes give when they say goodbye for a while. A surge of fear washed the insides of Jesper’s chest, and as a reflex he grabbed Wylan’s wrist in a silent prayer Jesper was too scared to say out loud.
Don’t run away again.
All Jesper found the strength to say was Wylan’s name. But Wylan looked away, curly locks hiding his eyes from view. It was just like that time in Keegard’s class.
“I saw you kissing him,” Wylan admitted in the end, “I hated it.”
Jesper shrugged with a shy smile, “If that’s of any consolation, I hated it too.”
Wylan let out a soft chuckle as he pulled his hair back with his free hand, “Jes, do you understand what I’m saying here?”
“Not really, walk me through it,” Jesper teased.
Wylan sighed and smacked his arm, “Jesper.”
“Wylan.”
Jesper’s eyes eventually found Wylan’s. They bathed in each other’s image for a while, Wylan’s gaze eventually flickering down to Jesper’s lips a couple of times. The air around them was thick, and the sound of their breathing seemed somehow louder than that of the party raging outside their door. It was as if a summer storm were brewing.
“You know,” Wylan whispered, his face a little closer than it was before, “Kuwei used to draw sketches of you in class, but…”
Jesper couldn’t keep himself from letting a breathy laugh escape his lips now, “But?”
Wylan bit back a smile at the sound.
“But he never got your lips quite right.”
Jesper hummed, complacent, “Didn’t he really?”
Wylan’s eyebrows were furrowed in annoyance now, “Is that so surprising? He’s kind of an idiot.”
“So much for ‘Kuwei’s fine’, huh?”
“Will you shut up? I’m trying to get to the making out part here,” Wylan complained.
“You’re right, I’m sorry,” with a small smile tugging at his lips, Jesper agreed. Eventually, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead gently on Wylan’s.
The contact was gone for a second. Then, Wylan’s lips pressed against his and the sudden, unknown familiarity of that touch left Jesper wondering if there had ever been a time in which their lips had actually been apart. If there had been, quite frankly, Jesper had no memory of it.