Chapter Text
Everything was cold.
He was dragged down, deeper into the freezing water. He did not fight it, not this time. It was almost peaceful-
Kendall remembered the last time. The last time he had struggled, had felt like his lungs had been bursting…
This time was different. He allowed the current to drag himself down.
It was good to pay.
This time it would be him who would be dragged into the depths.
Kendall Roy was dead.
The coldness coalesced around him, wrapping around his body, seeping into his skin, into his bones.
And there was no more water around him. Instead he was violently rejected by death’s embrace and vomited back out.
Everything hurt.
And yet he was so numb.
He struggled up, trying to gather his bearings, trying to remember what he had taken.
He was at his Manhattan apartment. Good, he was safe.
But he couldn’t remember what he had taken. He had coke in the apartment, he remembered that, and alcohol, but this was neither, when had he found something new?
He leaned on the wall. Something was wrong with his body. This was unfamiliar kind of wrongness.
He needed something- whatever it was he had taken he needed more of it and quick-
He felt the cold marble stone floor under his bare feet.
He had left his apartment, this was bad, he had blacked out-
But he knew what he needed was close.
Ignoring the coldness he retreated into an alley. He could smell it.
He needed to-
The warm body under him struggled. Kendall growled, annoyed at the way his teeth slipped from the throat. But the sweet nectar of the gods was pouring into his mouth and he was drinking deep.
The body whimpered.
The body.
A human being.
Was this real?
Kendall let go, really seeing the woman in a waitress’s uniform for the first time.
She sobbed, trying to stop the bleeding on her neck.
Kendall took a step towards her, trying to say something, anything, to stop her from screaming or running away.
He managed a tortured gurgle.
She staggered away, towards the entrance of the alley.
I can’t let people see me.
Kendall let her go. He looked around. He was in a back alley, somewhere near his apartment, a fast food joint-
He could smell the scent of blood.
He dropped on all fours and greedily licked at the blood spilled on the ground. His tongue grasped against the wet cement as he tried to gather every single precious drop. He coughed, the rainwater from the nearby puddle burning his tongue.
He still felt like shit but could at least gather his thoughts now.
Whatever it was he was still tripping, but it felt real. He was aware of what was going on now.
He had somehow ran out to the street in his t-shirt and sweatpants. He had no phone, no keys, no wallet, no shoes, and he has at some point shat his pants.
He had to get away from there, before…
He did his best wiping his face and stepped out of the alley. He had not gone far, if he was lucky…
People ignored him, as if he was invisible. Just another crazy homeless druggie on the streets, don’t make eye contact.
He made his way to the door of the building, trying to remember the name of the security guy. It was late…
The man stepped in front of him. He blocked his way, not even bothering to tell him to leave.
Kendall swallowed. “Come on, it’sh me.”
There was something wrong with his teeth. Kendall lifted his hand in front of his mouth and looked the man in the eye. “I had an. Accident,” he stated, carefully pronouncing every syllable.
“Yeah, sure.”
He wasn’t real, not in some way. Just a warm body.
Not sure how he knew how to do it, Kendall met his eyes and reached out with his mind. He could feel something, a consciousness or perhaps a soul. It was like a fly, buzzing around in the blond man’s skull. Ready to be caught in the mental web Kendall wrapped around it.
An empty look reached the guard’s eyes.
“Okay, so. You’re going to let me in, get it?”
The man nodded and turned around wordlessly.
Kendall followed him inside, making note of how the cold weather had not really bothered him.
The man opened his door and paused as if waiting for further instructions.
“Okay I’ll take it from here. Wait. There was a woman, nearby, she was- uh she was bleeding, there was an accident- Uh I want you to go and see if she’s alright she was- dark-hair, I think I- A waitress-”
The skin under his teeth had been pale.
“White, or Asian, I think-”
Thinking back to it, he could feel his teeth itching, shifting…
He glanced at the guard. He could take him to his apartment and just-
Kendall waved his hand, dismissing him, and closed the door behind him.
What the fuck was going on?
He took his phone from the nightstand, and it almost slipped between his fingers. 4 a.m.
He got to the bathroom. First things first- Clean up, and-
It took him a while to figure out what the odd feeling of wrongness was. The bathroom was as it had always been, and yet…
He stepped inside, carefully.
And then it hit him.
He had no reflection.
Kendall reached his hand to the large mirror, trailing blood and grime onto the surface, staining the glass.
But there was no sign of him.
What had he taken? How much of this was real?
He had died-
The phone vibrated. Kendall picked it up.
Roman.
“Rome, what the fuck?”
As if he knew what was going on. But-
His brother’s voice came through. “So, hey, notice anything different lately?”
“Lately?”
“You can tell me, who did you kill?”
Kendall almost dropped the phone. “I-”
“Come on, give me the dirty details of your first snack. Was it good? Snacking on the staff?” His tone shifted, oddly unreadable for a moment. “Shiv’s gonna have a story to tell, oh boy-”
“Rome, I can’t- What-”
“Someone’s thick tonight. You died, welcome to the undead parade- I guess it’d be difficult to tell for someone who has been a walking cadaver for the better part of last year.”
An another incoming call. Kendall pulled away to look at the caller ID.
Rava.
He transferred to the other call. “Rava? Is… Are you all rig-”
She let out a sob. “Ken? Ken, it’s Ive. Something is wrong with him.”
“Iverson? What is- Fuck, where are you?”
She took a shaky breath. “He attacked me.”
“Jesus fuck, I’ll be there, just- Is- is Sophie all right? Are you all right?”
“My son just bit me and he’s not- well. Sophie- I sent Sophie to her friend’s house- Iverson- Oh my god Ken what is this, he is in his room-”
“Listen, I will be there, I’ll just- I will be there.”
He switched back to Roman’s call. “I am going to kill you, if this was you, if you did this- Iverson is- What the fuck is going on?”
“Your kid? I guess- I guess it would have been- I’m sorry-”
Kendall hung up.
First things first.
After a quick wash and a change of clothes, he called up his chauffeur and hurried downstairs.
Now that he was at least clean, he had more time to focus on the changes in his body. He could feel but all physical sensation felt numb, like he couldn’t really tell it was cold anymore.
He also did not breathe anymore. Something to consider.
And there was a stillness in his chest.
He called up Roman, as soon as he was in his car. “Talk.”
“Listen I didn’t know, not before, he didn’t tell us, I did guess he was doing something, of course, but-”
“Who?”
“Dad, obviously. Of course it’s dad.”
“What did dad do?”
“I don’t know, weird mumbo jumbo shit, do I look like a wizard? He’s- Different now.”
His tone scared Kendall. “Rome, are you safe?”
“Of course, Ken, he’s still- It’s still dad. Listen, you need to come home, he wants you here, and it’s really no time for this whole ‘oh I’m gonna be a big hero look at me’ shit. You’re a Roy. If it worked on you, if he- he dragged you with him when he sold his soul, you’re a Roy.”
“I’m getting my fucking kid who might be dying, or-” Kendall glanced at the driver. “Tell dad to fuck off.”
He cut the call.
“Rava?”
Kendall burst into their house. “Rava, is-”
She was bleeding, her wound on her arm was wrapped but he could smell the scent of-
She slapped him.
Kill her, snap her neck, sink your fangs into her flesh-
Kendall took a step back, horrified at the mental images flooding through his mind.
“What the fuck did he take?” Rava demanded to know.
“It’s not- It’s not drugs-”
“What the fuck else it is? What the fuck else it is except him getting into some shit you keep around your house?”
“It’s- I don’t know, I don’t have an explanation. I need to talk to him.”
Rava nodded and led Kendall to the door.
Kendall opened it.
He could sense the small figure in the room.
“Ive?”
Kendall noted how he could see in the dark room. The colors were washed out but he could see the boy curled up in a corner.
“Hey, buddy. It’s okay.”
He was the same as Kendall. There was a distinct difference to how Rava, or the chauffeur, or the guard, or the waitress had felt.
Iverson looked up. Kendall wondered if he could feel it too.
“Listen, kid, I’m not angry. Mom is not angry either.”
Iverson nodded.
Kendall reached a hand out to him and patted his knee. “Listen, we need to go. Something happened, I need you to come with me.”
He could smell blood, faintly. Iverson had drank-
“You’re gonna be okay, I’m not mad. Come on. We’ll fix this.”
Kendall opened the closet and pulled out some clothes. “We need to go, uh, you can’t come in your pajamas-”
Iverson let out a sound, like a wounded animal.
“It’s okay,” Kendall told him. “Just put on- put on shoes and a jacket, okay? It’s gonna be okay and no one is mad but we have to go to- We have to go.”
Kendall stepped out.
“I am going to take him.”
Rava’s scent was tantalizing in a whole new way. Every cell of Kendall’s body was telling him she was food. He had to get Iverson away from her.
“It’s- I think it’s an illness. In the blood. I don’t know, I think my dad knows-”
Rava looked at him and Kendall regretted mentioning his father.
“Is he going to be all right?”
“I am not going to let anything happen to Iverson.”
Rava looked at him. “What is going on, Ken?”
“I can’t- I don’t know.”
“I don’t care what you have going on. But I have the right to know what is going on with my son.”
“Yes, of course. I will keep you posted, okay?”
“Sure.” Rava moved her hand onto Kendall’s arm.
Maybe it was an invitation to a hug. Kendall couldn’t risk it. He let his fingers brush against Rava’s hand.
“You’re cold.”
Kendall withdrew his hand.
“Ive was cold too, when he…”
“I’ll take care of things- I- I don’t know how but- You’re okay, right? You look after Sophie, she’s- She’s safe, I think.”
“Yeah.”
“I think. I think Iverson doesn’t want to come out while you’re here.”
And I don’t want you to see him, in case you realize he is… Different now.
Rava nodded. She held out Iverson’s travel bag.
Kendall took it and watched Rava walk to the kitchen.
He opened the door to Iverson’s room. “Okay, let’s go. You’re- You’re being really brave.”
Iverson shook his head.
Kendall took his hand. “I’ll fix this. Or- I’ll make things better, and then you can come see mom again. Okay?”
They stepped out of the door and into the night.
There was, surprisingly, the scent of a living human in Logan’s apartment.
“Willa!”
The woman standing alone in the hallway looked at Kendall, jumping a bit. “Hi. Are you- You are also-”
She noticed Iverson. “Oh my god is the kid too-”
Kendall set his hand on Iverson’s shoulder. “Yeah. Uh. I assume it happened to Connor. The whole-”
Willa let out a hysterical laugh. “He’s a vampire.”
“No need to, I think, pull out the whole label on this- We don’t know this situation is- I mean come on.”
She nodded. “Yeah yeah. Connor is in the room with- They are waiting for you.”
“Fucking, Connor. What was he thinking, dragging you here-”
Willa shook her head. “He was dead, Kendall.”
“Bullshit. This is not a- There is a logical explanation-”
“Connor. Was dead. I found him- I- I found him. He was dead. Until he wasn’t. I don’t want to die. I have the feeling that if I’d die it’d be for good. I am not like you.”
“No one is dying.” Kendall glanced at the door to the dining room. He could feel a presence.
“Listen, I need you to look after Iverson, okay. He’s- Just tired, and he’s just a kid.”
Kendall bent down on his son’s level. “You remember Willa? She’s going to keep you company, you be nice, okay?”
Kendall braced himself and opened the door.
His attention was immediately drawn to the figure dominating the room.
He had forgotten.
Old age had crept up to Logan so slowly that Kendall had not noticed. He was not young again, not really, still grey-haired. But he stood straight now and was bursting with vitality and presence that made Kendall feel six years old again, looking up to his father, the giant.
He could hear a low growl. His father looked at him, his eyes flashing red, and Kendall realized the sound was coming from his own mouth.
Kendall felt trapped, terrified, like an animal baring his teeth at a predator. And he wondered if this was how Willa, or Rava had felt looking at him.
He closed his mouth.
“Welcome back, son.”
Kendall looked away. Roman. Shiv. Connor.
They all carried the same aura about them.
A connection.
A disease in the blood.
Roman was lounging on the sofa, trying to pretend he was relaxed. Connor was leaning on the wall, arms crossed. He nodded to Kendall.
But it was Shiv who made Kendall almost ask if she was all right.
She was staring at the wall, to a spot somewhere over Logan’s shoulder.
“I heard you brought the kid,” Logan said.
Kendall turned to him, reluctantly. “Did Rome tell you?”
“Come on, he could tell,” Roman said.
“I am impressed,” Logan said. “I guess the Roy blood flows stronger in him, and in you, than I assumed. I underestimated you.”
“He’s- I don’t know.”
“Come on, bring the kid in.”
Kendall opened his mouth. He closed it again, steadying himself before talking.
He needed a hit. His mind immediately went to the living human in the next room and the blood in her veins.
Kendall closed his eyes and shook his head.
“I am not going to- He’s a kid.”
“He’s family.”
Even his eyes closed Kendall could feel the patriarch in front of him. He opened his eyes. Seeing him made it better in some weird way. At least this way he could ignore these new inhuman senses. Pretend he was just unwell.
“Come on, do we really want a fucking, little kid in this meeting?” Roman spoke up. “This is adult business I don’t think we really need some snot-nosed- No offense, Ken- Some snot-nosed little kid’s opinion like does he even talk?”
Logan smiled and nodded. “Sure, sure.”
Kendall could physically feel Logan’s attention shifting to Roman. It was like pressure was taken off of him.
“Adult business. Well said. I think we could use some adult perspective here. Frank, maybe. Hugo. Gerri.”
Roman’s eyes widened.
“Would you like to call Gerri here?” Logan asked.
“Ah, yeah, sure.” Roman lifted a hand to fix his hair, desperately trying to escape his father’s gaze. “Of course, I would like to- Mmm sink my teeth into that tough old broad. Real fucking vintage. Would love to. But come on, I mean, we can’t shit where we eat. We need to find a system. Not eat the staff or middle-management. People are going to notice-”
“Call. Gerri.”
There was an animal-like screech and before Kendall had time to react Shiv was leaping at their father nails turned into claws and face twisted into something non-human.
What happened then, Kendall wasn’t sure. There was a shift in the atmosphere and Shiv collapsed with a yelp of an injured dog, as if she was a marionette and the strings had been cut.
“Shiv!”
Logan had not moved, Kendall was pretty sure.
Kendall and his brothers hurried to Shiv.
Kendall grabbed her shoulder. “Shiv?”
She looked at Kendall, but she didn’t really see him.
“Tom…”
She shook. “Tom…”
Roman patted her head clumsily. “Shiv uh. It’s okay Shiv, we all hated him anyway right? Faster than a divorce, right?”
“I’m sorry, Pinky.”
Kendall looked up to his father. He hadn’t noticed him moving at all, but there he was now, towering over them. Logan pulled Shiv into an embrace.
He turned towards Kendall, looking almost gentle. “Come on. Get the kid. It’s time for him to be welcomed into the family. Properly.”
Anger flared in Kendall. He wanted to scream, to tell his father he had always been his grandchild, and that Sophie was too, but he found himself unable to speak.
With difficulty, Kendall stood up.
He turned to the door.
There was no escape, he understood it now.
The hallway was empty. “Ive? Willa?”
He drew in breath. Blood.
He ignored how his mouth watered at the tantalizing scent and followed it to one of the bathrooms.
Willa was there, sitting on the floor. And Iverson was on her lap, lapping at the wound on her wrist-
“Ive!”
Kendall pulled him away from Willa. Iverson hissed at him, fangs red with blood.
Kendall pulled him into a hug. “You can’t-”
Willa was staring at nothing, but she was still breathing.
His son wasn’t a killer.
Not yet.
Kendall pulled Iverson away and tried to wipe his mouth with a towel. “Listen, wait for me outside, okay?”
Kendall took the towel and tried to wrap it around the wound, trying to avoid thinking about how it would be fine, really, if he tasted a bit-
He remembered the look on the waitress’s face.
And yet he knew already that he was going to do it again. He’d have to find a way to do it safely, that was all.
He shook Willa. “Hey.”
She blinked, her eyes clearing. She twitched. “Don’t-”
Kendall let go. “It’s okay. I am not a- I am not going to hurt you.”
She cradled her arm. “Connor, he-” She was starting to sob. “He- When he woke up, he killed- Mister Rodriguez. Just- He wasn’t himself. The-there was blood everywhere and I screamed but he just-just kept drinking and-”
“He wasn’t himself, yeah? Can you walk?”
She nodded. “I think so. Yes.”
“You need to get away from here. You need to- You can’t stay.”
Willa nodded.
“You get that looked at- I’m sorry. I- You need to get out of here.”
“I know.”
Kendall watched her walk to the door and disappear out of the apartment.
Kendall took Iverson’s hand. “I’m not mad. Are you feeling better? I’m not mad.”
“Yeah.”
“Listen, we gotta go see grandpa. I’m not going to let him do- He’s gonna be scary but it’s fine.”
“Okay.”
He walked to the door of the dining room with Iverson.
He gave a tight-lipped smile to his son. “Just for a bit. Then we can- We can go.”
The doors opened. Kendall quickly glanced at Shiv. She was leaning on Connor, and he had his arm around her.
Logan spread his arms, welcoming them in.
Kendall was frozen in place, watching helplessly as his son walked to Logan.
Logan embraced him. “Proud of you, kid.”
It all made sense, in some terrifying way. Despite the absurdity of the situation this had always been the only way this could end.
The doors closed behind Kendall with stark finality.
He was with family.
And only the blood mattered.