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TPC-ACR-29J8
Two Point Campus - Academic Report
Teacher: Prof Amanda Cable
Abstract: Existential question raised during Money Wangling lecture on whether time really is made of money. And if so, how might it be harnessed for pure financial incentive?
END OF REPORT
TPC-ACR-58K1
Two Point Campus - Academic Report
Teacher: Prof Arnold Green
Abstract: Truel (Three-way Duel) declared between Posho, Knight and Cyborg students over which was the best era in history or future history. Incident fell apart when the participants couldn’t decide which century to the duelling equipment should come from (Crossbow, Duelling pistols or Laser cannon).
END OF REPORT
TPC-ACR-30L2
Two Point Campus - Academic Report
Teacher: Prof Stewart Cole
Abstract: Revised University guidelines insist that we offer students a lactose intolerant Cheeseball alternative. When it was explained the sport contained no actual cheese, we received an angry letter from the Cheese Marketing Board.
END OF REPORT
TPC-ACR-49P8
Two Point Campus - Academic Report
Teacher: Prof Martin Ball
Abstract: University Guidelines state students are not allowed to keep pets, citing the examples of Dogs, Cats, Birds etc. Said rules do not explicitly disallow students from keeping a Bear. When campus security investigated reports of a Bear being housed in the campus dormitory, it soon emerged that it was merely a stuffed animal.
Apparently, a group of Funny Business students thought it would be a good joke.
END OF REPORT
TPC-ACR-18K7
Two Point Campus - Academic Report
Teacher: Prof Ingrid Stone
Abstract: It is with regret that after months of temper tantrums, lapses in personal hygiene, class disruptions and lack of proper toilet training, we were forced to dismiss Professor Whitney from the Scientography department.
END OF REPORT
TPC-ACR-56I9
Two Point Campus - Academic Report
Teacher: Prof Nigel Banks
Abstract: After reviewing the state of some of our equipment, the Inspector described it as ‘An accident waiting to happen’. When they requested to speak to our Safety Officer, we regretfully had to inform them that they had sadly passed away in an unavoidable freak accident.
END OF REPORT
TPC-ACR-72U9
Two Point Campus - Academic Report
Teacher: Prof Adrianne Clarke
Abstract: A new craze is sweeping the campus, Medical and Funny Business students playing a life size game of Operation.
END OF REPORT
TPC-ACR-18Y3
Two Point Campus - Academic Report
Teacher: Prof Albert Wiseman
Abstract: Spy School students have been reminded that it is not necessary to eat assignments after review. Also, to refrain from cutting holes in the student newspapers.
END OF REPORT
TPC-ACR-95B7
Two Point Campus - Academic Report
Teacher: Prof Lewis Wise
Abstract: It has since emerged that previous reports of Archaeology students uncovering a body during a dig were thankfully exaggerated. Turns out the remains that were uncovered could potentially date back to the founding of the county.
This has allowed us to celebrate a significant historical find rather than play host to a police investigation.
END OF REPORT