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When GlaDOS said she had another surprise, Chell didn’t bother wondering what kind. Time was slippery this far underground. She couldn’t tell exactly how long it’d been since GlaDOS made a joke about her parents, but Chell knew one was overdue.
After a long day of dodging turrets, Chell lingered between test chambers. No matter how many times GlaDOS insisted Chell would love it, she avoided the door that contained her surprise.
Sure, GlaDOS planned to ruin her day, but Chell could still decide when she’d let it be ruined.
Wheatley slid along his assigned railing, and she let his chatter fill her mind. His stammering was so different from the silky rhythm she was used to, it made the perfect distraction—even as she filtered out most of his words.
Only when GlaDOS gave up on directing Chell did she head back to the surprise room.
“You’re not going in there, are you?” Wheatley asked.
Chell shrugged with one shoulder.
“Okay. I’ll see you later. Maybe.” His light dimmed briefly in consideration. “No, definitely. You’ll come back.”
Of course she would. She always did.
Chell offered him a wave and gripped the door handle. With a sigh, she turned the knob. Chell expected to see a pair of plastic skeletons and a banner that read “We still don’t love you.” The real sight was so far removed from those expectations, she had to actively comprehend it.
A pair of white taper candles sat on either side of a round oak dining table. They’d burned for so long, candlewax oozed down the sides of the catchers. Their light cast the table in amber, reminiscent of the AI's singular robotic eye. The centerpiece of this display was a metal dome and a wine glass filled with water.
GlaDOS's voice slithered out of the intercom. “Are you proud of yourself? Dinner is ruined, all because of you.”
Chell's eyes swept the otherwise bare room, doing her best to anticipate GlaDOS's next trick. Despite herself, she imagined how GlaDOS would look if she could reach this room. How she'd sway in and out of the light, the way shadow would drape over her form.
“While you were off gallivanting with that imbecilic metal ball, the heat was being leached from your dinner,” she added bitterly. “What do you see in him that could possibly be more important than testing?”
A note of jealousy clung to the words, and Chell almost couldn’t believe it. She huffed, amused and wary at such a reaction.
“Do you have any idea how hard it is to prepare roast beef over an open furnace? Of course you don’t. You wouldn’t know a nice gesture even if it was presented to you on a silver platter. Which it is. Right now.”
Chell swallowed at the mention of roast beef. It had been thousands of years since she'd had a proper meal. It took more focus than she preferred to recall the taste of real food.
She approached the table. After all this, it would make the most sense for there to be an empty plate. Or a tiny turret. She listened for a chipper voice or the whir of a laser sight. Hearing neither, she lifted the metal dome. A sliced roast beef sat in the middle of the platter with a sprig of parsley. It was encircled by chopped carrots and asparagus.
The reflective border distorted her face, but Chell's bewildered look was unmistakable. She scratched the edge of the platter with her thumbnail to see if the color would scrape off.
“Yes, it’s real silver,” GlaDOS said, annoyance clear through the static.
Chell whistled, allowing herself to be impressed. Not a paper plate or a plastic tray. Real silver and real utensils. She took a seat and grabbed the fork. As she brought food to her mouth, it chilled the air before her face. Chell wrinkled her nose at the ice-cold meat before holding it over a candle. After a few rotations, it was warm enough to try.
Underneath the rubbery texture, she was surprised to discover it had flavor. It was smoky but not charred and juicy enough that she was convinced GlaDOS had devised some way to marinate it.
As she took another bite, GlaDOS’s voice returned.
“If you were a normal person, a guilty conscience would prevent you from eating.” At this, Chell gnawed on the garnish. “I expected as much from someone as unwanted and heartless as you.”
Unwanted? With this setup? With this lighting? Chell rolled her eyes.
When she finished the meal, she made a point to lick her fingers.
“I hate you,” the AI hissed.
The crackle of her voice rolled down Chell's back. She trapped the shudder under her skin but let her smile grow wide.
Hate you more, Chell signed.