Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Alhaitham didn’t feel emotion.

At least not the way others did. Kaveh, however, was dead set in his claim that Alhaitham experienced emotion just as much as he did, that he simply hid it all behind an impassive exterior to appear mentally stronger than others.

As Alhaitham had explained to Kaveh many times, he was wrong. It wasn’t that Alhaitham seemed mentally stronger than most. He was mentally stronger, plain and simple. He wasn’t being arrogant or ridiculous, like Kaveh claimed. It was simply a matter of fact.

No, he didn’t feel emotion. Rather, he processed, analyzed, and sought solutions to his emotions. After all, how else could one maintain a constant peaceful life if they allowed their emotions to control them? Unlike Kaveh, Alhaitham would rarely burn himself out pleasing people, his heart on his sleeve for others to tread upon.

He felt rationally , not emotionally. Sympathy rather than empathy. Concern rather than panic. Irritation rather than anger. It took a lot to phase Alhaitham past these normal, healthy, logical feelings.

That’s why he felt a prick of confusion when panic seized his heart, a sudden wave of dizziness catching him off guard. He closed his eyes, forcing his breathing to calm. He mentally chastised himself for allowing such a strong emotion to grip him. There was always a logical solution to even the most challenging problems.

He’d been through worse situations before. A few weeks ago, he’d been part of a grand plan to save Sumeru’s Archon, changing the nation beyond belief with the banishment of the Akasha. Just that morning, he’d dealt with a deranged researcher who sought to settle a grudge against him. Alhaitham had dismantled Siraj’s so-called Hive, directed Cyno to the crime scene, and emerged from it all unscathed.

Or so he thought…

Once Cyno arrived to apprehend the criminal, Alhaitham had left quickly, taking the Traveler with him. Perhaps he’d hurried away subconsciously, not wanting to get in the way of Cyno’s work. If he’d stayed just a few minutes longer, maybe he’d have discovered the injury sooner.

But he was only just feeling its effects now, the last of the adrenaline leaving his system at the most inopportune moment. Just outside his study, Kaveh was entertaining the Traveler and Paimon while Alhaitham searched for books on collectives and the subconscious. Soon enough, Kaveh would get suspicious, wondering why he was taking so long.

Well, he wouldn’t let it get to that. His injury wasn’t life threatening after all. He just had to reel his emotions in and judge the situation rationally. With a resigned sigh, Alhaitham took a few steps further into his study, carefully lifting the edge of his shirt to observe the damage. His frown deepened at what he found. 

Towards the end of his recent escapade, Siraj had summoned a number of monsters to obstruct Alhaitham and the Traveler. Among them was a Jadeplume Terrorshroom and it seemed the monster managed a strike against him just before he killed it. Three cuts torn into his side, bleeding sluggishly. They were shallow enough that the blood hadn’t saturated his shirt completely and only a faint stain managed to find its way onto his cape. 

He would have thought the blood loss was likely the culprit of the dizziness earlier, causing him to give in to panic for a moment. But now that he saw that his wound wasn’t life threatening, he let himself relax a fraction. 

But the question still remained. If they were so shallow and inconsequential, why did they hurt so-

“Alhaitham, what’s taking so long?” Kaveh griped from the living room. 

“Give me a few minutes,” he replied, quickly straightening up.

He let his shirt cover the wound again, worriedly noticing the tears in the fabric. If he kept his cape close, no one would notice a thing. Hopefully the Traveler and Paimon wouldn’t stay for long, and he could deal with the injury later.

Taking a breath, he went back to searching his books, distantly aware of Kaveh’s irritated grumbling. His roommate could be perceptive when he wanted to be, but Alhaitham kept his eyes firmly on the dusty spines, refusing to acknowledge him. He felt his frown, his searching gaze, but eventually, Kaveh went back to entertaining the Traveler.

And that’s when Alhaitham heard Paimon voice an interesting question.

“But… aren’t you his friend?”

Alhaitham paused in his search, wondering how Kaveh would respond. Their… relationship was complicated at best, but it was still quite a wonder that they remained a constant in each other’s lives despite that. Alhaitham wanted to know how Kaveh would describe their connection.

“Uh…” Kaveh floundered, clearly taken off guard. “I wouldn’t say ‘friend’ exactly… Okay, well, we used to be. But we’re not anymore.”

His tone changed towards the end, almost as if he regretted the way their friendship ended. Alhaitham thought it was useless to dwell on the past. Things happened and people moved on. They may not be friends but even so-

Alhaitham blinked, gripping the edge of the book shelf when the room spun around him again. He took a cautious step back, taking care to keep his balance. He shook his head against the dizziness, blinking away the blur in his vision. 

“Alhaitham?”

He sighed in irritation, the sound ending in a pained grunt. He reanalyzed, quickly going through pros and cons of revealing his injury now. The dizziness vanished as quickly as it came, the pain receding until it was nothing but a dull throb.

He waited a moment, anticipating another wave of vertigo. But when it didn’t come, Alhaitham surmised that he had at least another hour before his body decided to give him another reminder. His wounds were a small enough matter to be negligible at this point. He would rather not have Kaveh or the Traveler hovering over him for such a trivial issue.

He hurriedly grabbed the books off the shelves, barely glancing at the titles before heading back to the living room. Kaveh left with a snarky remark as soon as Alhaitham entered, much to his relief. His gaze lingered a bit longer than usual however, but Alhaitham chose to ignore it.

Once he placed the books on the table, a blissful calm settled over his home as everyone silently busied themselves. The Traveler and Paimon quietly read through his books, Kaveh had disappeared to his side of the house, and Alhaitham sat on the daybed with his own book.

The pain was a distant concern now and Alhaitham leaned heavily against the cushions, eyes wandering aimlessly over the words in his book. For the first time since that morning, Alhaitham allowed himself to relish in the momentary peace.

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The peace didn’t last nearly as long as he’d hoped. The Traveler and Paimon flipped through the books at record speed, gaining a slightly better understanding of what happened at Siraj’s Hive. However, their curiosity didn’t abate, and Paimon claimed to have more questions than before. 

Normally, he’d be ready to answer any questions with as much detail as he could offer. As it was, it felt much harder to redirect his mind to the task at hand this time. Still, he did his best to answer their questions, taking them through his thought process when Siraj was still a student, proposing his idea. 

He didn’t miss the Traveler’s gaze on him as he explained, pointedly ignoring their stare. His wound didn’t hurt nearly as much as it did in his study, and he managed to keep his expression as impassive as ever.

Paimon’s questions seemingly had no end, and Alhaitham felt it had been hours when she finally nodded in satisfaction, her eyes lighting up with understanding.

At that point, Alhaitham allowed himself to feel a small measure of relief, ready to see his friends off. Or at least, he would be, had Kaveh not decided to show up and admit to eavesdropping. As usual, he roped Alhaitham into a pointless argument, their usual song and dance. Alhaitham countered every wild claim with one of his own, barely registering Kaveh’s ramblings about empathetic fungi, pots and kettles, and-

“Hmph, well, having said all that,” Kaveh sighed suddenly, clearly tamping down some of his ire to utter his next words. “Are you ok?”

Perhaps it was because Kaveh had never asked such a thing outright, only making snide remarks about his recklessness, that Alhaitham was so taken aback by the question. But then, Alhaitham had never been the target of such clear animosity before. And maybe the involvement of the renowned Traveler, someone who was always flirting with danger, forced Kaveh to let down his guard and express his worry openly.

For a moment, Alhaitham didn’t speak, unsure how to react to such openness from his roommate. But then Kaveh’s eyes narrowed and Alhaitham decided he’d rather avoid the consequences of someone finding out about his injury at the moment.

“I’m doing quite well,” he said, and it wasn’t a complete lie. And then, to make things normal again, he continued, “Much better than that painting you’re trying to hang on the wall.”

Instantly, the worry in Kaveh’s eyes vanished, replaced by the familiar sharpness and anger.

“You!” he seethed. “You don’t understand anything! Stop criticizing my taste in decoration!”

With that, Kaveh stormed out and Alhaitham once again breathed a sigh of relief, away from his roommate’s piercing gaze. All that needed to be done now was see the Traveler and Paimon out, before attending to his wound.

It didn’t take too long to wrap up with his new companions, with just a couple things left to discuss. They informed him of the subjects’ apologies, to which he responded that he didn’t want or need them. They were victims, just as much as he was, perhaps even more.

Both his new friends seemed surprised when he mentioned his desire to resign from his temporary position as Grand Sage. But the Traveler said something then that Alhaitham felt described him well enough.

“You have a pretty clear direction for yourself.”

Alhaitham nodded in agreement, pondering the words even after they left. He lingered by the door, watching until he couldn’t see them anymore. Stepping back inside, he allowed the comfort of his home to envelop him, the dusty books, the crooked paintings, and the incessant muttering of his roommate.

He did have a clear direction. He wanted to keep this peace constant for as long as he could.

Chapter Text

Cyno frowned, glaring at the Padisarah he held in his hand, scrutinizing it as though it would give him the answer to all his questions. 

He had felt it in the air that morning, that something was amiss. He’d brushed off the feeling as the usual anxiety he’d been experiencing since freeing Lesser Lord Kusanali from her shackles. They’d saved the nation just weeks ago and thankfully, they’d all made it to the other side mostly unscathed. 

The restlessness was to be expected of course, and Cyno was trying to tamp down his anxiety as he got used to the new normal. But it turned out, his sense of foreboding that morning was right after all. He had only just entered his office that morning when a staff member came running up to him, a letter clutched in his hands.

It was a letter from Alhaitham, with specific instructions to not worry about engaging the rogue Akademiya researcher, Siraj. Alhaitham would deal with that himself and Cyno only had to worry about showing up to arrest the criminal.

Cyno followed the symbols Alhaitham left, and after that it was pretty standard routine. Arrest the criminal and any accomplices, check for injuries among the engaging parties.

Alhaitham left before Cyno could ask if he was alright, but it was rare that anything escaped Cyno’s sharp gaze. And this was no exception. At first glance, Alhaitham seemed perfectly well, his expression as impassive as ever. Though as a friend of his, Cyno could easily detect the minute relief he felt at apprehending the criminal.

But besides that, he noticed something strange when Alhaitham began to walk away. There was something different about his usual grace. He seemed more exhausted than usual, his steps almost dragging.

He didn’t have the chance to confirm, but Cyno was pretty sure Alhaitham had been injured during the fight with Siraj. Knowing him, he was likely to brush it off as something that didn’t need immediate attention. Needless to say, Cyno was worried about him.

“-no? Cyno? Are you paying attention?”

Cyno blinked, tearing his gaze away from the flower held in his hand as Tighnari’s confused voice filtered in through his thoughts.

“Are you trying to burn a hole through that poor flower?” Tighnari asked, taking it from his hand and placing it in a pot carefully. “We’ve got to protect these flowers, Cyno. We don’t want them going extinct now, do we?”

Cyno could hear the slight smile in his tone and he shook his head, matching his expression as he shifted closer to him on the bench they sat on. 

“Where’s Karkata?” Cyno asked absently.

“Karkata’s back in Gandharva Ville with Collei. I got worried because of the amount of students that have started returning to Pardis Dhyai. Karkata will be well hidden there,” Tighnari explained. “But enough about that. Tell me what business you had to deal with this morning. Seems like it’s still on your mind.”

Cyno sighed, frowning deeply. He blinked when Tighnari clicked his tongue and rubbed his thumb over his forehead, smoothing out his pinched expression. 

“Tell me about it,” he urged. “Don’t stress about it so much. It’ll be fine.”

“Alright,” Cyno nodded, turning to face him. “Alhaitham sent me a letter this morning.”

“Mhm.”

“It was about a disillusioned researcher who scouted others to be his subjects. Alhaitham didn’t include much detail in his letter but from what I heard upon arriving at the scene, it seemed as though this researcher was motivated by a grudge he held against Alhaitham. I’m assuming a fight broke out before I arrived because…”

“Yes?”

“I believe Alhaitham might have been injured in the fight.”

“And you’re worried about him?”

“Yes. I doubt he would give something like that due importance.”

“You say that as if you would give something like that due importance,” Tighnari teased.

Cyno shot him a half hearted glare, but couldn’t deny the truth. Tighnari chuckled softly, raising his hands in mock surrender.

“I’m just pulling your leg,” Tighnari said. “We’ll go visit him tomorrow and make sure he’s alright, okay?”

“Yes,” Cyno nodded. “Thanks, Tighnari.”

“Of course. Now then… Join me for a walk?”

Cyno smiled, taking the hand Tighnari offered and walked alongside him, the rest of his worries melting away.

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Kaveh frowned deeply, glaring at the rough sketch of his newest blueprint. Something wasn’t adding up. From a practical standpoint, the structure was completely fine, serving its purpose. But it lacked a certain flare . It wouldn’t be the design of Kaveh, Light of Ksharewar, if he didn’t make it shine .

His candlelight flickered, dimming slightly and he clicked his tongue, reaching for his lighter to reignite the flame. But he paused midway, narrowing his eyes as the light danced across his canvas, casting angled shadows over the design. 

Aha! Perhaps if he just…

Kaveh put pen to paper again, humming a tune under his breath as he let inspiration guide his strokes. He wondered how the public would react when he was finally able to construct this design. He wondered if Alhaitham would mock him for working so hard.

Kaveh slowed his drawing, frowning as his thoughts drifted to his roommate. Usually, any thought of Alhaitham would immediately put him in a bad mood and ruin his creative streak. But this time…

Kaveh starkly remembered the moment he saw Alhaitham return home, bringing two new companions with him. While he was initially curious about those two, his thoughts immediately shifted when he noticed how strangely Alhaitham was walking.

To the untrained eye, Alhaitham would appear completely fine. But Kaveh lived with him, and while he hated his presence, he knew nearly everything about him. And Alhaitham did not walk like that, exhausted and drained. He walked with his head held high, with purpose and grace. And he most definitely did not tear away from a staring contest first, almost like he was nervous.

Alhaitham did not get nervous.

And yet, that was undoubtedly anxiety in his gaze when Kaveh posed the question.

“Are you ok?”

But Alhaitham responded in his usual manner, brushing off the rare concern Kaveh showed him. Could he be imagining things? Maybe Alhaitham really was fine and Kaveh was simply overthinking it. But then, when the Traveler left with their talkative fairy, Kaveh dragged Alhaitham into another conversation, keeping a careful eye on him.

Again, he couldn’t be sure if he was imagining things, but Alhaitham was most definitely favoring one side over the other when he walked. Something was surely wrong with him but-

Kaveh blinked, glancing down at his blueprint. It seemed his careful pencil strokes had strayed while he was lost in thought. He clicked his tongue in irritation, frantically erasing the stray marks. He didn’t have time to be worrying about that nuisance right now. It was the dead of night, and he really had to finish this design so he could continue his leisurely painting.

His vigorous erasing caused his candlelight to finally blow out, plunging him into darkness. Kaveh paused, gazing blankly at his paper and sighed heavily when his eyes adjusted to the darkness. Of course, just his luck. He’d managed to rub a hole into the paper and now he would have to start all over. Kaveh didn’t think he’d be getting any sleep that night.

He took a deep breath, relit his candle and pulled out a fresh sheet of paper. He had just resolved not to think about Alhaitham anymore and focus solely on his work when-

An ear piercing shatter broke through the stillness of night, jolting Kaveh’s heart. Blueprints and paintings forgotten, Kaveh leapt from his chair, almost tripping over his own feet in his rush to the source of the sound. What he saw when he entered the kitchen only made him more anxious.

There stood Alhaitham, staring blankly at the broken mess he’d created on the floor. Kaveh followed his gaze, somewhat relieved when he saw that Alhaitham was a safe distance away from the shards of glass, and thus was probably unharmed.

He looked up just as Alhaitham did the same, his expression as neutral as ever.

“Go back to sleep,” Alhaitham said simply. “Or whatever you were doing before. I’ll get that.”

Kaveh glared at him disapprovingly, carefully avoiding the glass as he came to stand in front of Alhaitham, pushing him aside. Alhaitham frowned but didn’t try to stop him as he grabbed the broom and went about sweeping away the mess. 

“Just tell me why on Teyvat you’re still awake, Alhaitham,” Kaveh said after a beat of silence, his tone sharp. “You're clearly exhausted, so much so that you’re destroying our house-”

“No need to be so dramatic, Kaveh,” Alhaitham shot back, falling into their familiar rhythm. “And I don't have the luxury of choosing to go to sleep at a reasonable time, unlike you.”

“Excuse me?” Kaveh stopped sweeping, rounding on his roommate. “In case you haven’t noticed, I'm also awake at this ungodly hour.”

“That's your choice,” Alhaitham said, crossing his arms. “I can’t help it if you like to torture yourself in this way. As the Acting Grand Sage, I actually have important things to take care of-”

“My blueprints are just as important-”

“And you’re just mad because you picked out those cups. I never liked them anyway.”

With that, Alhaitham walked off, leaving Kaveh in the kitchen to clean the rest of his mess. Kaveh stood there, seething with rage.

“Why you-!” he paused, shaking his head with a tired sigh. “Someone oughta teach him a lesson…”

He hastily swept up the rest of the glass, his anger slowly giving way to worry once more. Now that he wasn’t lost in the heat of an argument, he noticed several things that had been off with Alhaitham. Maybe it was the dim lighting but… he didn’t think Alhaitham was always that pale. And his eyes lacked a certain competitive glint when they argued. 

Kaveh pondered over his exhausted appearance, hesitating for a moment. Then he filled the kettle with warm water, leaving it to heat on the stove. With a sigh, he walked over to Alhaitham’s side of the house, creeping to the doorway of his study and peeking inside.

Alhaitham sat at his desk, resting his head in one hand, while the other signed papers at record speed. Kaveh frowned sympathetically. It seemed the Acting Grand Sage did have a lot on his plate.

Alhaitham said nothing when Kaveh finally walked in a few minutes later, placing a cup of tea on the edge of his desk. Kaveh wasn’t phased by his lack of acknowledgement and was fully intending to leave after that. But something stopped him when he reached the doorway and he found himself glancing back.

Alhaitham looked exhausted, his tired eyes never straying from his papers. As he watched, it seemed as though he leaned more heavily on the hand holding his head up, like he couldn’t stay awake.

“Alhaitham,” Kaveh called before he could rethink it.

“Hmm?”

“Go to sleep.”

“In a minute.”

After a beat of silence, Kaveh sighed and finally left the room, choosing to trust that Alhaitham knew his limits. He trudged back to his own study, glancing at the blank paper on his desk. He didn’t think he’d be able to focus on actual work at the moment and so he set up his easel, continuing a painting he started weeks ago.

Finishing the painting was his main priority, of course. But it wouldn’t hurt to keep an eye on Alhaitham while he did so.

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Alhaitham stopped his incessant signing, keeping an ear to the door and waiting until Kaveh’s footsteps faded. When he was finally sure Kaveh was in his study for good, he allowed the pen to fall from his trembling fingers and held his head in both hands. 

He breathed carefully and slowly, allowing the dizziness to pass. He mentally berated himself for making a mess of the kitchen and nearly alerting Kaveh to his condition.

Leaning back, he peeled the edge of his shirt away from his clammy skin. He thought he’d done a good job disinfecting and bandaging it once the Traveler had left. Aside from a dull pain, Alhaitham didn’t think he should be feeling any other discomfort.

But when he went to get a cup of tea, hoping it would stave off his exhaustion, his vision completely blacked out, pain lancing through his side. By the time he returned to his senses, the cup had shattered onto the floor and Kaveh was standing in the kitchen entrance, frantic and worried.

With a sigh, Alhaitham dropped his head in his hands again and wrote off the experience as symptoms of blood loss. He’d just be more careful from now on.

For now, he was just relieved that Kaveh apparently didn’t notice anything. He’d never let him hear the end of it if he had. Alhaitham almost never got injured or sick, rarely involving himself in situations that would result in such a catastrophe. Usually it was Kaveh who got himself hurt, whining constantly and criticizing Alhaitham’s way of nursing.

Alhaitham shook his head against the useless thoughts, and checked his bandages once more for good measure. His wounds were still bleeding sluggishly, staining the bandages. Though slightly worrying, Alhaitham was sure he’d be fine by tomorrow.

Glancing down at his papers, he couldn’t help but hold back a grimace. The signatures had become increasingly illegible as exhaustion weighed him down. Finally deciding to take Kaveh’s advice, he gathered up the papers and set them on the edge of his desk. Then he stood with a sigh, sparing only a brief glance at Kaveh’s side of the house before finally retiring to bed.

Chapter Text

Alhaitham had never been one for superstition. But upon the cold frigid wind was an air of apprehension, and just beneath it, raging unfettered fear. Though he had not been blessed by the God of Anemo, in that moment, he felt as if he could hear terrified voices upon the gales, begging for help from anyone that would listen.

The skies darkened and the people vanished, chased away by a hidden foe. Birds stretched their wings across the sky, adding another layer of overcast as they hurriedly fled from the streets of Sumeru.

Every living being made themselves scarce as some unknown threat crept nearer and nearer. All except the silent scribe, who stood in the middle of it all, calmly observing. He had never been one to believe in superstition, so he wouldn’t now.

He relied on logic alone. And while there was no apparent threat, Alhaitham knew in this instant he should follow the crowd. But he couldn’t. While he didn’t rely on vague senses of foreboding, he did tend to listen to his heart.

And right now, something was calling out to him, beckoning him forward. There was something he was missing in this moment, and he couldn’t leave Sumeru until that something was with him, safe and close.

He didn’t run, but he was quick as he walked the familiar streets, now darkened by doom. He wasn’t completely bothered by the lack of living presence. After all, he just needed one person to feel at ease.

Alhaitham didn’t feel fear the entire way to his home. He did not feel fear when he rounded the corner. He didn’t even feel fear when he stood in front of his home, watching as the building was engulfed in hungry black flames. He didn’t care about the material things inside, nor did he care about the house itself. The house and everything in it could just as easily be replaced.

Although… 

There was one particular thing he wished he could hold on to. A book, one that his grandmother had left him before she passed. But he shook his head, knowing that at the end of the day, what mattered most was not the old tome but-

Wait, where was-

The hint of fear in his heart was extinguished as quickly as it sparked. Alhaitham breathed a sigh of relief when Kaveh stumbled out of the house, narrowly avoiding the tendrils of black flame that reached out towards him. 

Now that the most important thing was safe, Alhaitham could try his luck grabbing the last remaining possession his grandmother left in his care. But before he could, Kaveh whirled back around, having caught his breath, and rushed back inside the house.

Alhaitham’s heart jolted in very real fear now, the bright gold of Kaveh’s hair swallowed by darkness before his eyes. His mind was empty, a cacophony of white noise as he zeroed in on his friend. He didn’t even realize when he gave chase, throwing himself into the house as he lunged blindly for Kaveh’s arm.

The black flames converged on him, making him flinch in surprise when a bitter cold settled into his bones. But he kept going, closing his eyes against the inky blackness. For a moment, it felt like he was floating, his feet no longer grounded and the walls of his home falling away. Something was grabbing him from all sides, pulling him away from his destination.

But he reached out, further and further until finally, his fingers closed around a familiar wrist, made to fit perfectly in his hand.

And just like that… everything stopped.

The cold receded and the black flames vanished. His home returned with all its comfort and familiarity. The rush of noise quieted, and the sun filtered in through the windows. 

Alhaitham opened his eyes, trying to calm his breathing as he lifted wide eyes to his roommate, his friend. Kaveh stood there with his back turned, clutching a book to his chest.

“Kaveh,” Alhaitham breathed, tightening his grip on his wrist, heart stuttering in relief.

Kaveh turned to him but something was wrong. He was smiling but the look in his eyes was different, dull and overcast like the sky before. He wordlessly held out his grandmother’s book to him, but Alhaitham didn’t take it. He could only keep his gaze fixated on Kaveh’s, fear growing in his heart when the smile still didn’t reach his eyes.

“Kaveh?” 

But Kaveh shook his head, still smiling and tilted his head down at the book he’d saved for him. Alhaitham reached out and grabbed it, if only to get a response from his friend.

He immediately regretted it. The effect was instantaneous. The sun vanished, the rush of noise returned, the black flames emerged again, and the house fell away around them. Tongues of flame whipped around Kaveh, tugging against Alhaitham’s grip on his wrist.

“Kaveh!”

But Kaveh was gone, consumed by the flames, his wrist torn from his fingers. He didn’t even get a final glimpse at his forlorn smile, that he only now realized was his way of saying goodbye. 

Alhaitham turned away from the frigid flames, his knees folding and hitting the floor as his head spun. Kaveh was gone. Kaveh was gone.

Everything was gone, and all he really had left was-

When he opened his eyes, even the dusty old book in his hands had been burnt to a crisp, and seconds later, even the ashes were swept away from him.

The fear in his heart vanished in an instant, replaced with a gaping void. Alhaitham closed his eyes and gave into the flames.

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Kaveh was beginning to regret his decision to stay up all night. It was barely 3 in the morning, and already an unbearable ache had settled behind his eyes, begging him to let them rest. He’d since given up on trying to finish his painting, simply staring blankly at the rapidly dimming candlelight.

It wasn’t the first time he’d attempted to pull an all-nighter. But usually when he did, it was because his presence was needed overnight at a construction site. It was much easier to stay awake during those times, chasing away the exhaustion with pure adrenaline and excitement.

But now, with nothing to keep his brain occupied except worry for Alhaitham, exhaustion weighed on him heavily, his head throbbing and his eyes barely staying open. With an irritated sigh, Kaveh lifted his head and decided to check up on his roommate one last time. If he was still awake, Kaveh would force him to bed by any means possible and then go to sleep as well. He had to be up early for work tomorrow, and there was no point in staying awake if he wasn’t being productive.

A brisk walk to Alhaitham’s bedroom proved fruitless. His bed sheets and blanket were set up neatly, just as they were every morning. That could only mean he was still in his study, diligently attending to his new duties.

With a disappointed shake of his head, Kaveh trudged down the hall to Alhaitham’s study, noting that the door was still ajar like he’d left it a couple hours ago. He peeked his head in, ready to berate his idiot of a roommate. But he stopped short when he noticed he was no longer seated at his desk. Instead, the scribe was now curled up on the couch against the wall, moonlight spilling from the window above him and illuminating the exhausted features of his face.

Kaveh stepped inside with a sigh, crossing his arms and watching as Alhaitham slept on obliviously. Sleeping on the couch like that could hardly be comfortable and Kaveh imagined he must be cold so close to the window. As if on cue, a small tremor shook Alhaitham and Kaveh frowned in irritation. 

The idiot.

He should probably move him. Alhaitham would undoubtedly be annoyed when he found that Kaveh had carried him to his bedroom. But he’d deal with that in the morning. Better that than Alhaitham waking up sick and sore.

Mind made up, he stepped closer only to stop short when Alhaitham shook again, more violently this time. Kaveh’s frown grew deeper, watching hesitantly as Alhaitham’s hands curled into fists, his brows furrowed. 

Was he… having a nightmare? 

Had it been anyone else, Kaveh might have approached, tried to help, but this was Alhaitham . He barely knew how to start a friendly conversation with him, much less handle him in this vulnerable state.

Lost in thought, Kaveh almost didn’t notice when Alhaitham inhaled sharply, eyes flying open. His gaze landed on Kaveh almost immediately, a strange emotion clouding his eyes. Kaveh froze, lost for words and unsure what his own expression looked like at the moment. 

A still, fragile moment passed between them, and a brief thought crossed his mind. Fear . That look in Alhaitham’s eyes was fear . It unsettled him. 

The expression vanished so quickly, Kaveh could almost convince himself he’d imagined it. Alhaitham didn’t feel fear, he was always calm and collected, even ready to face someone who he knew had it out for him. 

Now he looked angry, his brows furrowing further as Kaveh continued to stare at him. He took a step back when Alhaitham sat up and rose to his feet, only slightly unsteady.

The look of irritation in his multi-colored eyes was halfhearted at best, but it was better than the fear from before. Kaveh considered saying something but before he could, Alhaitham turned away, pushing past him. The brief contact broke whatever spell had been cast on Kaveh and he whirled around as Alhaitham stalked out of his room.

“Alhaitham!” he called, anxiety lacing his voice.

He followed him to the living room, watching with uncertainty as Alhaitham made his way to the countless shelves lining the walls. He was searching for something, a specific book among many. To an outsider, he would have seemed relatively calm, but Kaveh caught the slight franticness in his harried movements, the nervous flicker of his eyes.

Finally, he stopped, having found what he was looking for. An old emerald tome, one that Kaveh knew he held close to his heart. He did so now, clutching the book tightly with one hand and turning to throw a scathing look at Kaveh. The ire in his gaze was fragile.

“Stay away from my books,” Alhaitham warned, his tone flat.

Without another word, he pushed past Kaveh again, avoiding eye contact as he returned to his room. Kaveh stood in the center of the living room for a moment, anxiety fluttering in his chest. Against his better judgement, he followed after Alhaitham, stopping just outside his room.

Glancing inside, he saw that Alhaitham was sitting on the couch again. He held the book open to the front cover, staring at it silently. The sight worried Kaveh but he knew nothing good would come of prying at the moment. And so, tamping down the worry in his heart, Kaveh stepped away, carefully closing the door.

He hoped Alhaitham would go to bed after this. But as for him, he decided he could forgo sleep for one night. If Alhaitham had another nightmare, he wanted to be there to pull him out.

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In the end, nothing of note happened for the rest of the night. Kaveh should have been relieved, and he was to an extent. That didn’t change the fact that he was utterly exhausted when the sun finally rose, its light piercing his tired eyes. He briefly considered taking the day off but reasoned that Alhaitham probably wouldn’t take kindly to that. Whatever was going on with him was worrying, but Kaveh knew he’d rather deal with it himself. He didn’t have the courage to try and counter that way of thinking at present.

Still, the least he could do was drag him out of bed and demand that he eat breakfast. Last he’d seen him, he definitely looked like he needed some fluids and nutrients forced into him. For how intelligent he was, he clearly didn’t know how to care for himself when he was sick. 

And it was then that Kaveh came to terms with the fact that Alhaitham was sick . He’d known something was wrong with him but realizing that he was genuinely unwell worried Kaveh. The two of them may be on strained terms on the best of days, but that didn’t mean Kaveh was going to ignore him when he was struggling. Even if Alhaitham protested, Kaveh resolved to take care of him since he clearly couldn’t do it himself.

He wasn't sure how Alhaitham would react to his reluctant nursing, but he knew for a fact that he would prove to be his most difficult patient yet. Despite that, Kaveh felt that, as his unwilling roommate, he owed him that much at least. He would put up with him, his protests, his lack of self-preservation skills, everything , just so they could go back to normal again. 

Just so Kaveh didn't have to see this new side of Alhaitham that he knew he hated showing.

Caught up in his musings, Kaveh didn’t even realize how much time had passed. It was well past dawn now and Kaveh could distantly hear the clinks of silverware and running water in the kitchen. Ah that must be-

Wait. Alhaitham was already awake?

Kaveh leapt from his desk, quickly shaking off his drowsiness as he stalked out of his study and over to the kitchen. Sure enough, Alhaitham was there, apparently grabbing breakfast for himself. Kaveh narrowed his eyes, wondering if Alhaitham planned to go to work today. Kaveh would chain the man to his bed if need be.

But Alhaitham didn’t even spare him a glance as he went about his morning routine. Kaveh kept a sharp eye on him as he went to do the same. He relaxed slightly when he noted that Alhaitham seemed to be doing better than he had last night. He was still walking strangely but the color had returned to his face and his eyes seemed clearer.

Kaveh readied himself for an argument as Alhaitham finished up and strayed too close to the front door. But he surprised him when he simply walked over to the shelves, grabbing a few books before returning to his study.

With a frown, Kaveh followed, not trusting him for a second. For all he knew, the scribe was just trying to throw him off. What if he left for the Akademiya when Kaveh was gone? What if he was already out the window of his study and on his way?!

Kaveh stood in the doorway of his study, arms crossed and eyes narrowed as he watched Alhaitham sit down and grab his papers from the edge of his desk. He wondered if Alhaitham would go on ignoring him or if he would actually address-

“I thought you were leaving,” Alhaitham said suddenly. “Won’t you be late for work?”

He looked up from his papers with a raised eyebrow and Kaveh scoffed, his frown deepening.

“That’s none of your business,” he shot back.

Alhaitham held his gaze for a second before nodding and turning back to his papers.

“Right, I forgot that’s normal for you.”

“You-!” 

Kaveh held his tongue, releasing a slow breath. Even though he was clearly sick and tired, Alhaitham never failed to get a rise out of him. Clearly it didn’t make much of a difference, but Kaveh didn’t want to yell at him when he was unwell.

“Whatever,” he sighed finally. “Don’t you dare mess with the furniture while I’m gone!”

With that, Kaveh left the room. But not before he caught Alhaitham smiling slightly, a small sound of amusement leaving him. It put Kaveh at ease and he found himself smiling in relief. Maybe he was worrying for no reason. Alhaitham would probably be fine by the time Kaveh returned from work.

And if he wasn’t, Kaveh was going to take care of him until he was.

Chapter Text

Alhaitham felt worse the next time he awoke. Thankfully, this time his sleep was dreamless but decidedly not restful. He didn’t even remember falling asleep, his eyes falling shut of their own accord as he briefly rested his head against his desk. 

A spark of pain burned through his side, pulling him from his thoughts. He lifted his head sluggishly, rubbing it idly with one hand. His head swam, waves of hot and cold charting their course through him as he blinked open tired eyes. 

Before he fell asleep, he’d been scouring his books for anything about the Jadeplume Terrorshroom, hoping to learn more about the injury he’d sustained and how to handle it. He was sure he’d been on the cusp of finding something when he’d passed out, the book slipping from his fingers.

But Alhaitham wasn’t very well versed in matters of medicine, and didn’t have many helpful books on hand. Distantly, he wondered if Tighnari would know something. Maybe he’d send Kaveh to fetch him when he got back from work. For now though, he planned to continue his own research. There must be something more in the books he owned.

He stood unsteadily, grabbing the books he’d dropped before leaving his study and walking over to his shelves. He’d only just put the old books back, searching for new ones when a soft thud caught his attention.

Frowning, he turned his attention to Kaveh’s side of the house. The sound had come from his study, and after a second of hesitation, Alhaitham made his way over. Peeking inside, he found the source of the noise. Just behind Kaveh’s desk lay a painting, clearly having fallen off the wall.

“Ah, you’re back. Quick, come help me see if this painting’s all straightened.”

Ah, so this must be the painting Kaveh had been fussing over the day he’d gotten injured. 

…Was that just yesterday?

Shaking his head, Alhaitham sighed and entered the study, lifting the painting and scrutinizing it.

It was a painting of Kaveh’s magnum opus, the Palace of Alcazarzaray. It was different from the rough sketches he’d started out with, more closely resembling the final blueprint he’d shown off to Alhaitham one day, exhausted and euphoric. 

This painting was in color, the hues soft and bright. And if Alhaitham wasn’t mistaken, there were a few additional details that perhaps hadn’t made it into the final design but still melded well with the rest of the painting.

Glancing at the wall where Kaveh tried to hang it, Alhaitham marveled at his roommate’s clumsiness. Kaveh had been attempting to place the painting in the narrow space between two bookshelves. Of course it wouldn’t look right in such a crowded space. Carefully setting the painting down on Kaveh’s desk, he reached up to remove the nail from the wall, glancing around to look for a better place to hammer it in.

Once he had decided on a new place, it was only a matter of minutes before the painting was back on the wall, displayed proudly in a place of its own and highlighted by the sunlight streaming in through the window across from it. Taking a second to make sure it was straightened this time, Alhaitham finally sighed and stepped back-

He stumbled as a wave of dizziness took him, hitting his elbow against something that teetered dangerously. The dizziness passed as quickly as it came and Alhaitham huffed in irritation, rubbing a hand over his elbow. He glanced over his shoulder, reaching out to grab Kaveh’s easel before it could tip over.

With a sigh, he straightened the sketchbook, carefully setting it back on the easel. At first, he only gave the unfinished painting a passing glance. But then he narrowed his eyes, observing it silently when he found that the painting was familiar.

It was a painting of their house. The detail and effort put into the painting was immediately obvious. The house was painted over the backdrop of a night sky, a full moon and a blanket of stars twinkling overhead. Darkened windows were painted over with navy blue. All except one, which was lit from the inside. Through the window, a silhouette of a person could be seen.

Gaze wandering over the painting, a warm feeling bloomed in his chest. Alhaitham allowed himself a small smile, knowing Kaveh only painted things he held close to his heart. He wondered if Kaveh really enjoyed living with him that much. Or perhaps he simply liked the house itself. Right, that was probably closer to the truth.

Beneath the painting of their house, the corner of another peeked out. Curious, Alhaitham lifted the corner of the first painting, revealing the one underneath. Again, a painting of their house, but this time, it displayed the inside of it. The living room, to be exact, and while the entire painting was wonderful, Alhaitham’s eyes were drawn to the very center.

It was just a sketch, the painting still unfinished, but there was no denying it. In the center of the painting, was an outline of himself . His sketched double was seated on the couch, frowning in concentration, a book held in his hand. Alhaitham was sure his own expression matched the one on the drawing. He leaned back with a frown.

This did not match up with his previous deduction. Why would Kaveh feel the need to paint something like this? Something that would undoubtedly remind him of his irritating roommate for as long as it existed. Besides that, wouldn’t the process of painting something you hated be a struggle in itself?

Alhaitham could hardly stand to be in the same room as someone he-

Oh. 

He blinked, a realization clicking into place. Kaveh irritated him, but Alhaitham didn’t… hate him. He didn’t even hate him minutely. And if he ever had in the past, that feeling was all but gone. Because yes, he could not stand to be in the same room with someone he hated, so how had he lived in the same house with Kaveh all this time?

The only logical explanation was that he didn’t hate Kaveh, even if he’d been carelessly throwing around that word in the past. It wouldn’t happen again.

His own feelings sorted, Alhaitham’s thoughts returned to Kaveh’s possible motives.

Alhaitham believed his previous deduction was true. Kaveh only painted things he was inspired by or that he held close to his heart. But occasionally, he would attempt to branch out, broadening his horizon as he explored different styles and landscapes. He would struggle sometimes, and other times it would come to him naturally.

Alhaitham supposed that must be what Kaveh was doing. He had run out of things to paint in his leisure time and decided to paint what was right in front of him. Something he saw everyday would undoubtedly come to him naturally.

There was every possibility that Kaveh still hated him. For good reason too, so Alhaitham wasn’t at all disturbed by it. Though… Now that he’d sorted out his own thoughts, he knew the hate wasn’t mutual. That was simply… unfortunate but nothing he couldn’t deal with. After all, Kaveh was-

Dizziness crashed over him again, this time accompanied by a sharp pain in his side. He didn’t even realize when the warm feeling in his chest tightened into a suffocating one, spurred on by his troubled thoughts. He’d completely forgotten about his condition, lost in the ambience of Kaveh’s study. Now the pain came rushing back, breaking through his thoughts and scattering them. 

Tearing his eyes away from the painting, he attempted to take a step forward, desperate to leave now and figure something out. But no sooner had he turned away than a painful ringing pierced through his ears. His thoughts further scattered into a dark haze covering his mind, his vision blurring rapidly. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, holding his head in his hands and willing himself to breathe . He couldn’t pass out right now, he still had research to complete. But his body simply wouldn’t listen. Before long, exhaustion draped itself over him, heavy and unrelenting. His back collided with a wall and Alhaitham couldn’t stop himself from sinking to the floor, his legs giving out. 

His wound was burning and his head was pounding. He struggled to open his eyes, only to be met with blurry colors and bright lights. Distantly, he thought his vision would clear in a second. Nothing to worry about, he would just rest here on the floor for a while and then continue his search. Hopefully, he’d be up before Kaveh returned.

He didn’t want to be a nuisance for him, but the pain continued to pull at him, a buzz filling his ears. Perhaps… 

Perhaps he needed Kaveh’s help this time. He felt bad imposing on him, especially when their relationship was… the way it was. But distantly, Alhaitham remembered waking from a terrible nightmare, only to see Kaveh standing there, a constant and comforting presence. 

He would apologize to him later. Apologize for disturbing the peace, the constancy. But for now, he would allow himself to rest and accept Kaveh’s help. Alhaitham let his eyes fall shut and finally, gave into the darkness.

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At least one good thing came out of Alhaitham being sick. If he wasn’t going to work, he wouldn’t have the chance to steal Kaveh’s keys. It was definitely a relief to be able to enter his home as soon as he arrived instead of having to wait around and hide in the shadows to avoid being seen by passersby.

Still, Kaveh couldn’t bring himself to relish in the feeling. Usually, he’d be ready for a shouting match when Alhaitham finally arrived with his keys. Maybe he even looked forward to it, in a twisted way. But now, as soon as Kaveh was inside, his mind was already running through possible remedies, what to do if Alhaitham was somehow sicker than he’d expected.

“Alhaitham, I’m home! Where are you?”

But Alhaitham didn’t respond. His keys were still hung just beside the door, so he hadn’t snuck out to go to work after Kaveh left. Kaveh didn’t waste any time, rushing over to Alhaitham’s side of the house, throwing open the doors to his bedroom and his study.

Nothing.

He went to the kitchen next. Still nothing. The living room was untouched too, though some books were missing from the shelves.

“Alhaitham?”

Usually, they didn’t go to each other’s side of the house. But now, Kaveh made his way to his own room and study, ignoring the increasing anxiety. No need to panic just yet. 

Kaveh’s room was empty. Only his study was left now. Frowning grimly, Kaveh threw open the door and-

“Alhaitham!”

A shudder shook Kaveh before he could even process what he was seeing. Eyes wide, he quickly stepped inside, dropping to his knees beside Alhaitham. His roommate was slumped against the wall, his face awash of color. His eyes were closed, brows furrowed. Kaveh pressed the back of his hand against Alhaitham’s forehead, heart stuttering when he felt the heat radiating from him.

A million questions were running through Kaveh’s head. How did he get so sick so fast? How long had he been feeling so terrible? How long had he been out cold in his study? 

Why didn’t he say something sooner?

But Kaveh grit his teeth and ignored the questions for now. There would be time for that later. Kaveh would demand answers but for now, he had to get Alhaitham off the floor. Trying to keep his hands steady, Kaveh wrapped one arm around his roommate’s shoulders and the other went under his knees. Alhaitham was disturbingly light when Kaveh lifted him and he vowed to fix that.

Despite clearly disliking his temporary position of Grand Sage, Alhaitham put an ungodly amount of time and effort into getting things done for the Akademiya. The only thing he didn’t do efficiently was take care of himself. Out of all his irritating qualities, this was the one that bothered Kaveh the most.

He’d barely taken a few steps out of his study when Alhaitham stirred with a tired hum. Kaveh nearly dropped him, glancing down at him in alarm. Half lidded eyes stared back up at him, exhausted but clear.

“You’re home.”

His voice was barely above a whisper, strained and broken. Kaveh stared down at him, heart clenching as he forced himself to speak.

“I am.”

A moment passed and then Alhaitham let his eyes fall shut again, sighing heavily.

“Don’t touch my books,” he muttered tiredly.

“I won’t.”

“Good.”

He fell silent again and it took Kaveh several seconds to realize he had fallen back asleep. Ignoring the tightness in his chest, Kaveh quickly crossed the rest of the distance to Alhaitham’s side of the house, kicking open his bedroom door and carefully settling his roommate down on his bed.

In a daze, Kaveh left the room, rushing to the kitchen and throwing open the medicine cabinet. He barely read the labels, relying on muscle memory to take down any bottles and herbs that would help Alhaitham. Then he grabbed a towel and a basin, filled it with warm water and brought everything back to Alhaitham’s room.

With a calming breath, Kaveh forced himself to think. He couldn’t give him any medicine until he woke up anyway. He didn’t know how far along the fever was but for now, the washcloth would have to do.

His racing thoughts had only just subsided when he finally noticed what was likely the culprit of Alhaitham’s condition this entire time. It was hard to see at first because of the dark fabric of Alhaitham’s shirt. But his pale hand over his side was a dead giveaway. Kaveh couldn’t hold back a gasp when he removed Alhaitham’s hand, bright streaks of crimson blood glistening on his fingers and soaking through his shirt.

Kaveh tried to keep his hands steady when he peeled the fabric away, revealing hastily wrapped bandages, saturated with red.

“ Damn it , Alhaitham ,” Kaveh hissed, pressing one hand to the wound and the other to his own head.

His thoughts were reeling again, quickly dissolving into panic. He removed his hand from the wound in favor of clutching Alhaitham’s hand with shaking fingers. He ignored the surge of worry and anger, forcing himself to think . He snatched the damp washcloth out of the water basin, wringing it out frantically before gently placing it on Alhaitham’s forehead.

Then he stood, threw a scathing glare at his unconscious roommate, his idiot roommate, before quickly leaving the room. He grabbed his keys and flew out the door, intent on finding someone who could actually help Alhaitham. Even if it took him all day, Kaveh wouldn’t rest until he found a doctor for his friend.

Chapter Text

“So,” Tighnari turned to Cyno, finally breaking the silence as they made their way through Sumeru City. “Were you able to get any details about what happened during Alhaitham’s fight with the researcher?”

“No, unfortunately,” Cyno sighed. “The Traveler and Alhaitham both left immediately and I had to oversee the culprit’s arrest.”

“No worries. I’m sure Alhaitham is fine,” Tighnari reassured. “Even if he was injured and something were to go amiss, it's not like he lives alone. As excitable as Kaveh is, he can be serious when he needs to be.”

“Especially during a match of Genius Invokation TCG,” Cyno said with a solemn nod.

Tighnari couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. Cyno wasn’t the best when it came to lightening the mood with his jokes, but Tighnari had to admit this was one of his more humorous moments. He turned to him with a smile, and-

“Tighnari, look.”

Tighnari’s smile vanished when he saw the grim look on Cyno’s face, immediately turning to where he indicated. Tighnari’s own expression became dark when he saw what drew Cyno’s attention. 

Just a few paces from them was Kaveh, walking briskly, almost running with an anxious look on his face. His eyes darted around frantically, clothes sticking to his skin with sweat and hair disheveled. He didn’t seem to notice them so Tighnari quickly bridged the gap between them and caught him by the shoulders before he could run off.

“Kaveh,” Tighnari called, heart sinking at the worry in his wide crimson eyes. “Kaveh! What’s wrong?”

Kaveh’s eyes cleared, looking at both Tighnari and Cyno in turn as if he’d only just noticed their presence. He just barely relaxed, a shaky smile on his lips, his eyes glistening.

“Oh, thank Kusanali . Tighnari, Cyno, come quick,” he said in a rush. “There’s something wrong with Alhaitham. He got into a bit of a situation yesterday with uh… a researcher named Siraj! Ah! You were there to arrest him, weren’t you Cyno? I think he injured Alhaitham really badly. I don't know to what extent but-”

“Kaveh,” Cyno cut him off gently. “Alhaitham will be fine. I suspected he might be injured but I wasn’t able to confront him about it at the time. I’m sorry for not being able to tell you sooner as well.”

Kaveh shook his head, laughing somewhat hysterically as he waved off the apologies.

“Oh, that's no problem at all!” he said. “I’m sure you were busy with the arrest and what's important is that you’re here now. I just wish he would take better care of himself. If he’d just gone to Bimarstan in the first place-”

This time, Kaveh fell silent by himself, clearly overwhelmed as he bowed his head, eyes clouded. Tighnari took him by the hand, tugging him along as the three of them made their way to Alhaitham’s house.

“A shame, really,” Tighnari sighed in agreement. “He’s so intelligent but completely overlooks these common sense things. No point in reading so much if he dies before he can put any of it to use.”

“ Dies?! He won’t-”

“He won’t die,” Cyno said firmly. “Not with Tighnari here.”

Tighnari turned, giving Kaveh a reassuring smile as they continued on their way.

“Don’t you worry, Kaveh. I’ll make sure he survives. He can’t die without getting a scolding from us first.”

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Kaveh paced back and forth, arms crossed and brows furrowed as he glared at Alhaitham’s bedroom door. It was left slightly ajar, an invitation to come in if he so wished. He desperately wanted to know if Alhaitham was alright, but felt that he should stay out of Cyno and Tighnari’s way while they tended to him. He could hear their hushed voices but was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to make out what they were saying.

He thought back to when he found Alhaitham passed out in his study and distantly wondered what he was even doing there. He recognized the half hearted thought as a means to distract himself from the more pressing issue. But he latched onto it and let it lead him back to his study, frowning as he surveyed the room.

It didn’t take long for him to find the painting he’d been struggling with just the other day. In his frustration, he’d left it on the wall, lopsided and dangerously close to falling. But now, the painting of Alcazarzaray was hung up properly, the last rays of sun falling over it like a spotlight. 

Was that why Alhaitham had come in? To fix his painting? It wasn’t the first time Alhaitham had done something for him. His living situation was a testament to the small and sometimes large gestures they did for each other, despite their strange relationship. Still, seeing his painting hung up with such care, especially when he knew Alhaitham was probably at the last of his strength when he did so…

Kaveh could hardly put a name to the swell of emotion in his heart. But then, he didn’t have to, because not a second later-

“Kaveh.” 

He whirled around at Cyno’s call to see that both he and Tighnari had left Alhaitham’s room and were now waiting for him in the living room. Kaveh came out to join them, twisting his hands worriedly. He didn’t dare speak, only looking at them expectantly. Tighnari smiled, hearing his unspoken question.

“He’ll be fine,” he said, much to Kaveh’s relief. “Alhaitham’s wounds are not life threatening. He was attacked by a Jadeplume Terrorshroom in an enraged state.”

Kaveh listened with bated breath, nodding periodically as Tighnari continued his explanation.

“Their claws are usually coated with a poison that causes fever and headaches, but nothing worse. He’ll be under the weather for perhaps a day more, but after that the worse will have passed.” Tighnari smiled again. “Nothing to worry too much about.”

“We’ll be going to Bimarstan now to get the appropriate medicine,” Cyno informed him. “Are you ok to stay with Alhaitham for now?”

Kaveh nodded almost frantically, still too anxious to speak. Tighnari seemed to pick up on his hesitance, a sympathetic look on his face.

“We’ll be staying in the city for a few more days,” Tighnari said, making his way to the front door with Cyno. “So don’t hesitate to come get us if you need anything at all.”

That drew a smile from Kaveh, albeit shaky. He almost told them that it was fine for them to go back to their respective duties, that he didn’t wish to impose anymore than he already had. But the kindness in their eyes simultaneously overwhelmed and relaxed him. 

“Thank you,” he said finally, barely audible.

“Of course, Kaveh,” Cyno said firmly.

“We care about you two idiots,” Tighnari huffed fondly. “Though it’s hard to say who’s the bigger idiot of the two.”

“Definitely Alhaitham,” Kaveh muttered with a smile.

“For now,” Tighnari grinned. The expression dimmed a bit as he kept his worried gaze on Kaveh, clearly seeing something there that he didn’t like. “Don’t forget to rest yourself, Kaveh. Ignoring your health is one thing you two shouldn’t try to compete in.”

Kaveh found that he was lost for words again and simply nodded, a grateful smile on his face as he saw the two out. He didn’t linger once the door closed behind them, almost tripping over his feet as rushed to Alhaitham’s room. Pushing open the door, he let his gaze fall on the figure beneath the covers.

A rush of emotion squeezed his heart, relief and worry melded into one. Alhaitham looked so small and subdued, his eyes closed, face washed of color, and his usually shining silver hair reduced to a dull gray in the dim lighting. His brows were only slightly furrowed, breaths whistling softly through his nose and Kaveh could almost allow himself to believe he was ok.

But Alhaitham didn’t look like that. He just didn’t get injured or even sick . This never should have happened. Not to Alhaitham. But-

He couldn’t think like that. Alhaitham… wasn’t ok. Not right now. But he would be. He would be and when he was, Kaveh was going to give him the lecture of a lifetime. He stepped inside, pulling up a nearby chair and settling down next to Alhaitham’s bed. He watched him sleep for a while, glaring halfheartedly.

“Idiot,” he muttered, his heart twisting.

It wasn’t long before he lost track of time, watching his roommate sleep, exhaustion pulling at his own body. Until finally, he allowed it to pull him under, his mind running through a million possibilities as he descended into sleep.

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He didn’t sleep for long. A knock sounded at his door within the hour, signaling Cyno and Tighnari’s return. Kaveh pulled himself from sleep, stumbling to the door and greeting them with a harried smile, gratefully taking the first aid materials from their hands.

They didn’t stay for long, lingering in the doorway as they gave him careful instructions on how to administer the antidote and how long it would take to run its course. They reassured him that it wouldn’t take more than a few days for Alhaitham to fully recover. Tighnari reiterated that they would be staying in the city for a few days and invited them both to Lambad’s tavern whenever they felt up to it.

Kaveh listened carefully to each word, smiling and nodding at the invitation, stowing it away in the back of his mind. When his friends left, taking their comforting presence with them, Kaveh collapsed on the couch in the living room, alone in the silent house.

Exhausted and desperate to be by Alhaitham’s side, Kaveh almost got up. But instead, he sunk further into the couch, reasoning that it wouldn’t do either of them any good. Kaveh couldn’t give Alhaitham the medicine until he woke up anyway. And he was only going to stress himself out more if he hovered.

A wry smile tugged at his lips. Now that Alhaitham was out for the count, it was strange trying to be the reasonable one. It was a hard decision to make. Even harder than the groundbreaking decisions he made on a daily basis as he designed masterpieces. But it was necessary. Alhaitham needed space to heal and Kaveh needed to get out of his head.

Alhaitham would be fine.

Still, he didn’t want to be caught asleep when Alhaitham finally woke up. And so he dragged himself to his feet, pacing back and forth around the house to keep his mind awake. He found himself in his own study, gaze falling on his painting, now illuminated by moonlight.

His mind replayed the moment he found Alhaitham on the floor near his easel, the painting of his magnum opus carefully hung on the wall. He didn’t have time to think about it before and he found that he couldn’t think about it now either. The sight only twisted his heart, something like confusion and sorrow squeezing his lungs.

Turning away, he returned to the living room, staring blankly at the bookshelves. Again, his mind supplied the image of Alhaitham frantically searching for an emerald book, clutching it desperately. Kaveh’s brows furrowed, wondering what he had dreamt of that made him act like that. 

He shook the thoughts from his head, continuing his aimless walk. But everywhere he went, all he could see was Alhaitham. Dropping the glass in the kitchen, coming in from the front door, glaring at him from the couch, slumped over in his study.

Alhaitham was such a constant in his life, that much was clear. And even as his frown grew, Kaveh had to admit he valued his presence. As much as he annoyed him, Kaveh realized he didn’t want to lose him. 

The house was… too quiet without him.

He didn’t realize when he stopped walking, coming full circle to stand in the living room once more. With a soft sigh, he made his way to the coffee table in the center, noticing Alhaitham’s emerald book laid hastily on top of it. Kaveh had no idea what his roommate was up to while he was away, but whatever it was, he was distracted enough to have forgotten his book.

Absent-mindedly, he picked it up, eyes roving the well worn tome. Kaveh and Alhaitham had been friends once in the past. While he couldn’t claim to know everything about him, he knew he’d lived with his grandmother from a young age. Distantly, he wondered if perhaps this was her book at one point. 

Sighing, he set the book back down, deciding he might as well go check up on Alhaitham. He didn’t know what he’d do if his roommate was awake. Would he try to comfort him? Would he scold him?

It wasn’t like they hadn’t worried for each other in the past, but nothing came close to the shock Kaveh felt upon finding Alhaitham passed out in his study. After that, he didn’t know if he had it in him to keep arguing, but at the same time, he just didn’t know how else to be with Alhaitham.

Pushing open the door, he resolved to think about it later. Alhaitham was probably still asleep, Kaveh had plenty of time to-

“Kaveh?”

Kaveh flinched violently at the soft voice, lifting his head to see Alhaitham sitting up, staring at him with tired eyes. As Kaveh watched blankly, Alhaitham winced, closing his eyes and raising a hand to rub at his temple.

Spurred into motion, his heart beating out of his chest, Kaveh rushed the rest of the way into his room and reached out halfway, just shy of settling his hands on Alhaitham’s shoulders.

“Are… you ok?” he began.

Alhaitham made an irritated sound, dropping his hand but keeping his eyes closed.

“I’ll be fine.”

Kaveh’s worry only amplified at Alhaitham’s dry tone, but now he was annoyed too. He found Alhaitham out cold and in pain, for Archon's sake! Was he really trying to play this down? Did he not understand the severity of the situation?

“You can’t seriously be brushing this off right now,” Kaveh said sharply. “You were poisoned, Alhaitham! Do you even-”

He stopped abruptly, somewhat guilty that he immediately fell back into his old habits despite questioning them before. Now he realized, it was less about Kaveh’s own comfort level than it was about whether or not Alhaitham even had the strength to sustain their usual banter.

With a sigh, Kaveh tried again, his tone softer.

“Alhaitham, this isn’t something to take lightly. All this could have easily been avoided if you had just told me you were injured when I asked if you were alright. If you didn't want to say it in front of the Traveler, you could have told me that night when I found you in the kitchen,” he paused, sighing. “You need to start giving these things more importance and tell me when you’re feeling unwell.”

For a moment, there was silence and Kaveh almost thought Alhaitham would take him seriously for once. But instead he just scoffed with a small shake of his head, almost in a daze.

“Feeling unwell?” he repeated, his voice distant. “No thanks to your medical expertise. Why… why do I feel worse than before?”

“What?!” 

Kaveh snapped his mouth shut, gritting his teeth and warding off the sudden worry and anger at Alhaitham’s reaction. He really did look terrible, his gaze faraway and his face paler than it should be. Yet he still had the audacity to make a comment on his supposedly inadequate medical expertise?

“First of all,” Kaveh said, composing himself. “Watch what you say. It was Tighnari that took care of you after you passed out in my study. He said it's normal to feel worse before you fully recover. And secondly… are you seriously going to argue with me in this situation? Alhaitham, you-”

“I’m not dying.”

Kaveh stopped short, blinking down at Alhaitham, the words not fully processing. Alhaitham had finally turned to look at him, firmly staring him in the eyes. His brows were furrowed in what was clearly irritation. But as the words slowly registered, Kaveh was surprised to see another emotion hidden in his gaze.

“I’m not dying, Kaveh,” he repeated. “So stop acting like I am.”

The second time around, his words clicked and Kaveh realized what the look on his face was. It was similar to the way he looked after his nightmare just last night. Alhaitham was… afraid. He was used to routine, to constancy, to rationality. Maybe there was nothing rational about their pointless arguments, but despite that, it was still their normal, their routine. 

As ridiculous as it was, maybe Alhaitham found comfort in it. Kaveh understood and looked away with a sigh, tamping down his worry.

“Idiot,” he grit out, with only a hint of ire in his tone. “If you want me to stop overreacting, then stop doing things that could get you killed. What good is all that intelligence when it disappears the second you need it?”

A beat of silence passed where Kaveh held his breath, waiting for Alhaitham to respond. He did finally, in the form of a scoff and a barely there smirk.

“...Still smarter than you,” he muttered.

The comeback was half hearted at best, and nonsensical besides. But Kaveh could sense the hint of relief behind it and allowed himself to relax as well. 

“You wish,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Now… shut up and lie back down. I’m going to grab some things and then tend to you. You better keep quiet while I do.”

“Tch, whatever,” Alhaitham muttered, obediently lying back down.

The smile that tugged at Kaveh’s lips was strained and exhausted but it was there. Alhaitham would be fine, he’d make sure of it.

Before long, Kaveh had followed all of Tighnari’s instructions, carefully administering the antidote and redoing Alhaitham’s bandages. He obediently remained silent throughout, gaze distant as Kaveh tended to him. Kaveh could see the pain lining his face, tensing his shoulders. He was being as gentle as he could, but couldn’t steady the tremble in his fingers, gaze lingering on the angry red gashes still bleeding sluggishly.

When the ordeal was finally over, Kaveh stepped back with a heavy sigh, brows furrowed in worry. Alhaitham glanced at him expectantly and Kaveh gave him a halfhearted glare.

“I’m leaving now,” he stated. “Get some rest. Or I’ll take your headphones and make you listen to my scolding.”

“Heh, how cruel.”

“Did you expect anything different?” Kaveh asked, with a smile that came easier this time. “I’ll wake you up in a few hours for the next dose. Rest .”

“Alright,” Alhaitham conceded. “You too.”

“Worried?” Kaveh scoffed.

“Hardly,” he replied smoothly. “I need you to be at your best if you’re going to take care of me.”

“Right… Good night, Alhaitham,” Kaveh sighed.

“Good night, Kaveh.”

Kaveh lingered in the doorway, both worry and relief vying for his attention. Now that the house was silent again, he found himself wishing for a bit of noise and understood Alhaitham’s resistance to his earlier behavior. He never thought he’d miss his arguments with his roommate, but now…

Alhaitham fell asleep within seconds, his breaths slow and deep, oblivious to Kaveh’s presence still nearby. Without his annoyingly rational arguments, Kaveh decided to take comfort in Alhaitham’s silent presence instead. Sighing, Kaveh finally returned to his own study, wondering if they would ever return to their normal after this.

Chapter Text

Alhaitham awoke far sooner than he’d expected, his harried thoughts forcing him awake.

Alhaitham hated when things went against the norm. He hated when he had to break routine, when things shifted out of place and disbalanced themselves. Much like how he’d been feeling himself recently. He thought it was over once Siraj was dealt with, but instead here he was.

Sick and injured in bed, his roommate hovering over him when usually he’d glare, insult him, counter his every word. Apparently, he’d been poisoned, and if he had figured it out sooner, then he wouldn’t be in this situation. He was sure the answer had been in one of the books among his vast collection. Maybe he hated the notion of inconsistency so much that he subconsciously brushed his symptoms aside, not bothering to consult the relevant texts until it was too late.

Still, despite being sick and injured, Alhaitham was resolved to think with rationality rather than his emotions. Logically, he knew illness distorted cognitive function. And he’d already fallen prey to his emotions once when he pushed Kaveh away after his nightmare.

His mind latched onto Kaveh, distantly wondering where he was, a prick of worry accompanying the thought. But he tamped it down, determined to think logically. Kaveh was probably in the house somewhere, biding his time, processing his own emotions.

And he had a lot of them to process. Alhaitham frowned slightly when he remembered the sharp fear in Kaveh’s crimson eyes, his words dripping with worry. A shudder shook him, and Alhaitham dismissed the thoughts.

That wasn’t Kaveh. Not his Kaveh. He could barely speak to him, unused to the concern in his voice. Alhaitham had stopped it from progressing but even afterwards, Kaveh’s insults fell flat, the look in his eyes still hesitant.

Well, he was trying. Alhaitham couldn’t blame him. He knew Kaveh had never given thought to the merits of logic over emotions. He’d seen Kaveh get so into his head that he’d worked himself into an art block on several occasions. He could stand to think rationally once in a while. He’d lead a better life that way.

Some people might argue that emotions are equally as important as logic. But Alhaitham had led quite a peaceful life without ever dwelling too long on things he couldn’t change. This was only a temporary setback, so why let it disturb the constancy of everyday life?

“I’m not dying, so stop acting like it.”

And even if he was … well, death was a constant too, was it not? He didn’t expect Kaveh to be unaffected by the death of his housemate but if it ever came to that, Alhaitham hoped he wouldn’t mourn him. Mourning could quickly turn into a lifelong affair.

When his own grandmother died, she’d stopped being a constant in his life. But even so, death was always inevitable and Alhaitham didn’t cry upon her passing. He didn’t see the point in it. Giving into his emotions would not bring her back.

And so, with one constant lost, he had settled on another. The ‘peaceful life’ his grandmother had wished for him. He allowed those words to settle in his heart, surmising that a life of constancy and routine must be the most peaceful one. Emotions disbalanced this peace.

Alhaitham sighed, sinking deeper into the pillows beneath him. This damned wound was also disturbing the peace of his household. And now, with his mind wandering to distant memories, Alhaitham was feeling restless.

After a beat of silence, Alhaitham pushed himself up on shaking arms, swinging his legs over to settle on the ground. He took a steadying breath when his stomach churned, his head swimming. Then he stood slowly, carefully stumbling out of his bedroom and into his study. He trudged over to his desk and collapsed on the chair behind it.

After all, he still had many papers to sign and a simple injury was not going to disturb him from his routine.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Kaveh awoke with a jolt, certain that something terrible had happened. His heart was fluttering in his chest, anxiety scattering his thoughts. What had happened? Where was he? Why was he-

Ah right, Alhaitham had been injured. Terribly so and if Kaveh had to bet his life on it, he’d guess that the nuisance was currently in his study, falling asleep at his desk.

Much like Kaveh was just a moment ago actually. He made an irritated sound, lifting his head from the desk, somewhat guilty that he’d ended up doing something he often chastised Alhaitham for.

Well, he’d only come to his study to give both of them some space so really , he was doing it with the best intentions at heart. The same could probably not be said about Alhaitham. His thought process was immensely skewed and Kaveh never missed the opportunity to tell him as much.

Kaveh left his study, making his way to Alhaitham’s bedroom. He wasn’t surprised when he found it empty, the bedsheets thrown aside and the door left ajar. That didn’t ease his anxiety, however, and he stalked down the hall, frowning in annoyance when he threw open the door to his study.

Just as expected, Alhaitham sat at his desk, eyes half lidded and struggling to stay open. He lifted his drooping head slightly at the sound of Kaveh’s arrival, his expression blank. Remembering their earlier conversation, Kaveh forced his worry to a more manageable level. He allowed the staring contest to continue for just a few seconds before leaning against the doorway and crossing his arms.

“Did you even sleep at all?” he demanded.

“That’s none of your concern,” Alhaitham replied simply.

“Hah! You’re right, it shouldn’t be,” Kaveh laughed derisively. “If you were more capable of taking care of yourself, I wouldn’t have to do so in your stead.”

“Quit your nagging,” Alhaitham sighed, leaning against his chair with his eyes closed. “I know you haven’t slept either.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Alhaitham. Among many other things,” Kaveh said with a smirk as he stepped inside fully. “I slept like a baby, if you must know.”

Alhaitham scoffed, wary eyes on Kaveh as he approached. But it was a testament to how exhausted he was that he came with little resistance when Kaveh grabbed his wrist, coaxing him out of his chair.

“Oh? So you were sleeping while I’m sick and injured?” Alhaitham demanded, his tone light albeit tired. “Do you really care so little? What if my condition worsened while you slept?”

“Hush you,” Kaveh grit out, glaring. “Not another word.”

Alhaitham smirked, the expression not quite reaching his dull eyes. But Kaveh recognized the attempt at lighthearted teasing, the attempt at normalcy. He didn’t say another word as he led Alhaitham back to his room, steadying him when he stumbled.

He still couldn’t get the image of his sick roommate out of his head, the memory of finding him passed out constantly replaying in his mind. But the earlier panic had lessened significantly. Seemed the distance had done them both well.

Kaveh settled Alhaitham back on the edge of his bed. The silence continued while Kaveh gave him his medicine, changed his bandages. But it wasn’t a heavy silence, it was comforting, settling around them both like a blanket.

“How are you feeling?” Kaveh asked finally, glancing up at Alhaitham.

“Better than last time,” he said, a bit too quickly.

Kaveh narrowed his eyes, standing and settling on a chair next to him.

“I don’t believe you,” Kaveh said, crossing his arms.

“It’s true,” Alhaitham shrugged. “Which was why I thought to get some work done earlier.”

Of course he did. He probably only felt remotely better because of Tighnari’s care. That didn’t change the fact that he was still sick and sleep deprived. Now Kaveh was beginning to get annoyed again and he glared at his roommate, gritting his teeth.

“You really don't know how to relax, do you?” Kaveh demanded. “It's ok to stray away from your precious routine every now and then. Especially when you’re sick and injured.”

Alhaitham fell silent, dropping his gaze to the floor. Kaveh frowned and tilted his head, trying to catch his eyes. But Alhaitham kept his eyes firmly directed to the ground, a contemplative look on his face. He seemed to be thinking through his next words and anxiety pricked Kaveh’s heart again, wondering what he would say.

“This is temporary,” Alhaitham said matter-of-factly, meeting his gaze. “And when it passes, there will still be work to do. Better to focus on the constants in life.”

“ What? ” Kaveh asked incredulously, not quite comprehending such ridiculous words. “Just because something is temporary doesn't mean it should be overlooked entirely. And nothing in life is constant-”

He stopped short, breathing out a sigh through his nose. The more he tried to process the words, the sillier they seemed. Alhaitham was so rational most of the time, surely he could see the folly in this line of thinking. He was probably just spouting nonsense because he was sick and delirious. 

No matter. There was no point in arguing right now. Alhaitham clearly needed the rest, and while Kaveh was willing to indulge in pointless arguments, he didn’t want to completely lose his cool. He shook his head against the silly thoughts and stood from his chair.

“Anyways, we’re getting off track,” he sighed. “I don't care what you say, you’re going to rest until I say you can get back to work. If you try to get out of bed again, I’ll get Tighnari to deal with you. That’s final .”

With an irritated grunt, Alhaitham lay back down on the bed, resting his head against the pillow. But he wasn’t done just yet, glaring halfheartedly at Kaveh, holding him in place.

“That’s not true,” he protested. “Temporary things deserve to be acknowledged but getting too emotional does nothing. Thus, even if nothing is constant, as you say, one can keep their emotions regulated and become the constant themself. How do you think I manage such a straightforward life? You would do well to take some life lessons from me.”

With the preachy way he said it, Kaveh could tell he actually believed what he was saying. And that just made it so much more nonsensical. Did Alhaitham know nothing of change? Of movement and progress? Even if he wanted to maintain a straightforward life, eventually something was going to happen that was out of his hands. 

Life was a cycle that could never be kept constant, shifting and reshaping into something beautiful until it all eventually came to an end. Even if life were to remain constant throughout, wasn’t its ending an unavoidable change?

“You call that a life lesson? ” Kaveh demanded, eyes wide as a thought occurred to him. “Is this what you meant when you wanted me to ‘stop acting like you were dying?’ It’s just ‘temporary’ so I shouldn't worry about it?”

“Exactly.”

Kaveh’s mind spun with the ridiculousness of it. He didn’t even know what to say to such words, but Alhaitham wasn’t finished just yet.

“Focus on what will remain constant,” Alhaitham advised. “I’ll recover and we’ll go back to arguing over every little thing. This period of time will become entirely inconsequential and won’t matter in the long run.”

Inconsequential? Won’t matter? And to think, just hours ago Kaveh had been wondering if they’d ever be able to return to their normal. Because he understood the concept of change, something that Alhaitham was apparently willing to overlook.

But he fully expected to go back to arguing with his irritating roommate. And when Kaveh thought about it, he wanted that too! But if Alhaitham died , things such as ‘temporary’ and ‘constant’ just wouldn’t matter anymore.

“You think you’re a constant in my life?” Kaveh asked, unable to keep the anger from his voice.

“Aren’t I?” he said, almost flippantly, unperturbed by Kaveh’s tone.

“You are! But,” Kaveh took a breath, steadying himself. “That doesn’t mean you always will be.”

“That contradicts the definition of ‘constant’, Kaveh.”

“Grr, you-!”

Kaveh wanted nothing more than to give into his anger now and rip into his argument, annoyed at the way Alhaitham’s matter-of-fact attitude always managed to get under his skin.

But he stopped himself, looking away with an irritated sigh.

“This is so ridiculous,” he muttered angrily. “I should just… what, ignore this and act like all is well because all will be well eventually? And what if it’s not? What if you do die? What then?”

“You shouldn’t feel guilty,” Alhaitham said, in that same know-it-all voice. “You were just living as you always have. My being sick should not change that. And besides, death is also a constant, is it not? Something to be expected, so it should have no effect in your life. If you want to have a peaceful life, that is.”

“Are you hearing yourself?” Kaveh seethed. “No effect in my life? Have you… Have you never lost a loved one?”

He didn’t even register the way he addressed Alhaitham as a loved one, his mind still reeling from his nonsensical logic. Aside from that, his last question seemed to have gotten through to Alhaitham who was now sitting up, staring at him with those knowing eyes.

“I have…” he said after a beat of silence. “That loved one wanted me to live a peaceful life. And that is impossible if I dwell on things I can't change.”

To Kaveh, someone who had lived an ever changing life, he simply could not understand. The anger swirling in his mind finally settled into sorrow and disappointment. Kaveh could only shake his head in pity.

“I am speechless, Alhaitham,” he admitted, frowning. “You are so stuck in your ideal life, your constant, mundane, unchanging life, that you can't even see how ridiculous you’re being. Do you know what else is constant? Change , Alhaitham. You can't remain constant in an ever changing world.”

Alhaitham matched his frown finally, some measure of confusion filtering into his gaze. But he remained silent, apparently out of counterarguments or simply too tired to continue.

“If I'm supposed to act normal after almost losing you, just because it didn’t come to pass…” Kaveh said, voice fragile. “Then I refuse to be a constant in your life.”

And now there was a hint of betrayal in Alhaitham’s eyes. Yet he still didn’t say a word, and Kaveh found that he couldn’t stand to stay another second in his presence.

“I thought you were smarter than this, Alhaitham.”

With that, Kaveh left Alhaitham with his thoughts, his own mind conflicted and confused.

Chapter Text

Kaveh didn’t know how much time had passed since he and Alhaitham fought. Could it even really be called a fight? He was just so bothered, so conflicted about the things he said to him, the way Alhaitham apparently lived his life.

Was this skewed mindset the reason he was always so unbothered and nonchalant about most things? Did he simply not feel? Or was he forcing himself to focus on what is rather than what has gone? Was he using this as some sort of twisted coping mechanism so his hard exterior never shattered?

He thought back to the moment when Alhaitham admitted to having lost a loved one. Kaveh had immediately known who he was talking about. It could only be his grandmother, who he’d spent most of his life with. That emerald book he’d stared at after his nightmare… that was the last thing he owned from her.

With a sigh, Kaveh glanced at the bookshelf in the living room, eyes traveling across the spines until he found the one he was looking for. Of all the books Alhaitham owned, gathering dust and taking up space, this was the oldest and yet most pristine one he owned.

The natural wear and tear of time was present, but that only indicated how much love it was shown. Kaveh didn’t even know what the book was about, if it was just a journal or perhaps a story book. But he had never seen Alhaitham turn the page past the front cover, and he opened it now, glancing down at the words written there in an elegant script.

May my child Alhaitham lead a peaceful life.

Kaveh stared at the words, frowning in sympathy. Distantly, he wondered if Alhaitham had ever mourned her. Or if he simply held this book close, decided it was his new ‘constant’, and went on with life. He felt for Alhaitham, and he felt for his grandmother, wondering how she would feel if she knew how severely her grandson had misinterpreted her words.

His heart twisted with guilt, and he sighed, realizing now just how fragile Alhaitham’s mind could be. He winced when he remembered how he insulted his intelligence. He had been wrong, Alhaitham’s mind was brilliant. 

Maybe not so much in regards to emotional intelligence, but that was where he came in. And as of right now, Kaveh realized that he had messed up big time. 

Snapping the book closed, Kaveh forced himself to return to Alhaitham’s room, ready to apologize for his mistake. He glanced inside hesitantly, not too surprised when he found that Alhaitham was still awake, looking up when Kaveh stepped inside.

Kaveh smiled sheepishly, making his way to his bedside and wordlessly holding out the emerald tome. Alhaitham took it silently and Kaveh felt his heart clench when his brows furrowed at the sight of it. He didn’t miss the flicker in his gaze, the way his fingers dug into the cover.

Kaveh sat silently for a time, watching Alhaitham stare at his book. Then he sighed, and spoke.

“Alhaitham…” he began, “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“It’s fine,” Alhaitham replied, but Kaveh had expected that.

“It’s not,” he insisted, keeping his tone level. “And don't tell me it’s the norm or the constant or… whatever. I shouldn't be so rude to you in general, but especially not when you’re sick and injured. I shouldn't have tried to question your logic at the time. No matter how ridiculous it is.”

Alhaitham remained silent, still staring down at his book. Then he scoffed, a halfhearted sound, and nodded.

“Apology accepted.”

“Good,” Kaveh sighed, but he wasn’t finished yet. “But I want to know… Do you genuinely believe your logic makes sense?”

He’d questioned Alhaitham’s intelligence before, but he knew just how much he embodied Sumeru’s ideals. The Archon herself had chosen him to be the Grand Sage. Did he really hold on so tightly to his rigid views that he was unable to broaden his viewpoint? Surely, there had to be some part of him that realized the folly in his mindset.  

Sure enough, Alhaitham’s frown deepened, his grip tightening on the book.

“It’s… less of it making sense than it is the only logical option,” he sighed. “Even if… even if I want to devote my attention to things I can't control, nothing will change. Best to move on, to keep living.”

Kaveh nodded slowly. Right, all things he’d already said, but with less ire now. Was it really so easy to have calm conversations with Alhaitham?

“Alright,” he conceded for the time being. “I suppose you're right, to an extent . Life doesn’t stop for anyone, that's true. And nobody likes change when it really comes down to it. But you’re allowed to feel and grow from change.”

“You can’t grow if you allow yourself to remain stuck in the past,” Alhaitham replied, with a hint of his earlier arrogance.

“Again, that’s only somewhat true,” Kaveh said calmly, determined to keep his cool. “Maybe… things aren't as black and white as you're making them out to be, Alhaitham. To keep the present moving, one can't keep hanging on to the past, nor can they try to reach too far ahead for the future.”

He paused when Alhaitham made an irritated noise. But he didn’t try to interrupt so Kaveh continued after a beat of silence, noting how Alhaitham’s expression slowly changed, his frown shifting into something more vulnerable.

“This is one of the gray areas in life that can never be fully defined,” Kaveh said. “You’ll have to find your own balance, but make no mistake, there is always growth to be had by reflecting on the past. Don't ignore it, grow from it.”

“I know,” Alhaitham snapped suddenly. “I know all these things Kaveh, but…”

Finally, he lifted his gaze to Kaveh’s, the annoyance all but gone from his eyes. Now there was only a sad sort of frustration.

“Listen, we may not get along, but you’re still the one person that knows the most about me,” he said, and Kaveh was surprised by the admission. “You know how much I crave a constant life. And despite my efforts to keep it that way, my life keeps changing. I lose people, I get thrown into plans, I end up saving an Archon, changing a nation. I can only rely on myself to keep these things from taking too much space in my head, in my life.”

Alhaitham paused to sigh deeply, and Kaveh leapt in with his counterargument. He felt slightly guilty, considering Alhaitham’s silence while he said his piece. But this question was necessary.

“But if you allow them to take up space in your head? Don't you think they’d help you grow?”

Perhaps Kaveh should have expected Alhaitham’s continued silence when posed with the question. But he took this in stride, instead analyzing the rest of his words.

“Those are all good things, by the way, though they may be inconvenient,” Kaveh said, referencing the changes Alhaitham had listed. “It’s harder to think about changes that result in loss. But just like things like saving a nation. Worrying for a friend, or grieving a loss… those things can help you grow too.”

Kaveh could tell his words were sinking in, slowly but surely. He was no longer irritated but his frustration was growing, as well as the strange glimmer in his eyes as clutched the book tighter. He threw Kaveh a glare just as he finished speaking, a demand on his tongue.

“What growth could I hope to gain from mourning the death of my-”

He stopped abruptly, turning away sharply and closing his eyes. Kaveh’s own eyes stung but he held his emotions at bay long enough to lean forward and put a hand over the emerald book. A thought occurred to him and Kaveh was suddenly certain that Alhaitham had not shed a tear over anything since his grandmother’s passing. Perhaps not even then.

“Shall I tell you?” Kaveh finally asked, voice gentle.

He let his hand slide across the book, carefully laying it over Alhaitham’s clenched fist instead.

“You can learn to live a peaceful life, like she wanted you to,” he said. “Because this? This isn't peace, Alhaitham. It's just quiet. And a quiet life is one that is forgotten.”

Alhaitham’s fist curled even tighter under his hand, jaw clenched as he kept his eyes closed. Kaveh stayed put, smiling even though Alhaitham wouldn’t see it.

“You’ve already done unforgettable things, Alhaitham,” Kaveh reminded him. “So accept those changes, take the credit for your deeds, grieve your losses… and allow yourself and others around you to change.”

And just as he surmised, Alhaitham opened his eyes, a stream of shimmering tears tracking down his face, the first time he’d cried over the loss of his grandmother.

Chapter Text

The next couple days passed by in a relatively peaceful manner after that, returning to some form of normalcy. There was still the lingering vulnerability from both sides, but Kaveh found that it wasn’t strained or unusual. 

Maybe he was overthinking things. Maybe things were always like this, their personal intricacies winding around each other as they went about their lives so closely together. Maybe this was simply the first time they’d noticed their intertwined lives and become vulnerable together.

It was a wonderful thing the two of them had crafted.

Over the course of the next day or so, Kaveh continued tending to his roommate, and this time, Alhaitham let it happen. He didn’t chastise him for showing concern, and that opened the door for them to be more honest with each other, to address those red threads that silently wound around them.

Although… that didn’t deter Alhaitham from teasing him every once in a while, much to Kaveh’s ire. He had just managed to tell Alhaitham how worried he’d become when he found him unconscious in his study. He felt the need to end on a good note however, so he finished by saying he was grateful that Alhaitham finally decided to help straighten out his painting.

Alhaitham scoffed at that, smirking as he shook his head.

“It needed more than just straightening,” he claimed. “I don’t know why you thought to hang it in a place where it would be hidden by shadow. And then you claim to be better at interior design than me. How shameless.”

“What if I did that on purpose?” Kaveh snapped. “Who knows when we might have guests over, thinking I'm being arrogant, placing a painting of my magnum opus out in the open like that?”

“And why should that matter to you?” Alhaitham asked. “You deserve to be proud of your creation. If anyone thinks you're being arrogant, they’re probably just feeling inferior about themselves. And that's not your problem.”

“Is that so?” 

“It is,” he said, matter of factly.

Kaveh couldn’t help but laugh at the explanation, and Alhaitham stared for a while before smiling himself. They remained like that for a time, just sitting together in the peaceful silence. Alhaitham was still on bedrest, mostly due to Kaveh’s lingering worry. But Kaveh rarely left, so they spent most of their day together, working in the same area.

Kaveh was about to stand and gather some new canvases from his study when Alhaitham spoke again.

“You know…”

He trailed off and glanced at Kaveh, looking away just as fast. Kaveh raised an eyebrow, humming in confusion.

“That day when I went to hang your painting of Alcazarzaray… I saw your other paintings.”

“Ah!” Kaveh brightened, nodding in understanding. “You mean the one of our house, right?”

“Right…” Alhaitham cleared his throat somewhat awkwardly and continued. “I saw… the other one too.”

Kaveh smiled warmly, immediately realizing what Alhaitham was talking about. He tried to catch Alhaitham’s eye, but the scribe stubbornly kept his gaze on his lap. Kaveh guessed he might be more than a little embarrassed himself if that painting was brought up during one of their usual arguments.

But for some reason, now he had no issue talking about it.

“You mean, the painting of you?”

Alhaitham nodded wordlessly, and Kaveh’s smile grew.

“That painting…” Kaveh sighed. “Is quickly becoming a personal favorite.”

Alhaitham finally looked at him, his gaze wary. Kaveh met his eyes with a bright grin, even as Alhaitham continued to stare blankly.

“Can I ask why you decided to paint it?”

It was a loaded question, and one that Alhaitham had asked so easily. Or perhaps not. Kaveh noted the way he fiddled with his hands, his shoulders just the slightest bit tense. But his gaze remained fixed on Kaveh, open and honest.

Kaveh’s smile became a bit more hesitant as he decided how to answer, speaking slowly and carefully.

“Well… It’s usually so hard to paint people because they get so restless after sitting in one place for so long. But you sit on the couch for hours without moving an inch and I thought it would be good practice!” He said. And then, with a bit more honesty: “In general though, you’re such a constant in my life that I could finish the painting with my eyes closed if I wanted to.”

“And… Do you want to?”

Again, the question was open and honest and Kaveh found that he was caught a bit off guard. In a good way though, and his smile returned with more confidence. Alhaitham’s eyes were downcast once again and Kaveh couldn’t help but think his questions were endearing. He decided to tease him a bit.

“Finish the painting? Yes! With my eyes closed? Not so much…” Kaveh chuckled. “It’s… much nicer to have a reference! And…”

He hesitated when Alhaitham looked up curiously, suddenly feeling the need to look away now that Alhaitham was giving him his full attention.

“It’s much nicer when I know you’re sitting just a few paces away in the living room.”

It was the first time he’d openly admitted to appreciating Alhaitham’s presence in a calm manner. Before, they had been yelling at each other, arguing about how much they meant to each other and how things would be different if one of them was gone.

That emotion felt different, heart wrenching and desperate. Now Kaveh could admit how bound he was to Alhaitham, how important his constant presence was to him.

Alhaitham looked away again, but Kaveh caught him smiling.

“It’s a nice feeling,” he said finally. “I’d like to see your painting once it’s done. If that’s alright with you.”

“Of course,” Kaveh smiled as he stood. “Now why don’t you rest for a while? I’ll go see about finishing that painting.”

Alhaitham nodded wordlessly, and Kaveh gathered his things and made to leave. But just as he was about to step out of his room, Alhaitham called out to him.

“Kaveh.”

“Hmm?”

“See you tomorrow?”

Kaveh smiled and nodded.

“See you tomorrow.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It only took one more day for Alhaitham to fully recover. The poison had finally left his system and he was allowed out of his room, under strict instruction by Kaveh to take it easy for a while.

Alhaitham wasn’t one to back down either and demanded that Kaveh fix his sleep schedule before taking on any big projects. And for a while, the two of them rested together, their home truly peaceful for the first time in a while.

It wasn’t until Monday came around again that Kaveh awoke to the sound of keys jingling. He threw the covers aside, completely awake as he stumbled to the main living area, catching sight of Alhaitham by the front door.

“Ah, sorry, did I wake you?” Alhaitham asked. “Go back to sleep, I won’t be long.”

But Kaveh stood in the doorway, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.

“You better not be going back to work so soon,” he warned.

“Nope, not today,” Alhaitham told him with a light smile. “I'm heading to Pardis Dhyai to thank Tighnari and Cyno. It’s highly likely that I’ll be taking a few days for myself before going back to the Akademiya.”

Good , Kaveh thought, relieved. But externally, he smirked teasingly at his roommate.

“Oh? Slacking off now, are we? Whatever will we do without our Acting Grand Sage?”

Alhaitham scoffed, rolling his eyes at Kaveh’s antics.

“They’ll figure it out without me. You know I’m not one to be held down by the Akademiya anyway. And weren’t you the one saying you would be a better sage than me?”

“And I still stand by that!”

“Maybe you should get better at Genius Invokation first.”

“Hah! You’ll be singing a different tune once I beat you at Lambad’s tavern tonight.”

“I look forward to it.”

Then Alhaitham’s smirk softened into a hesitant smile, his hand hovering over the doorknob.

“I’ll see you then?”

“See you then,” Kaveh nodded, smiling.

Alhaitham huffed out a soft laugh, lingering for a moment before turning the knob and leaving the house. Kaveh stayed by the door, watching as Alhaitham disappeared over the horizon. He shook his head with a fond laugh, turning back inside the house and letting the door fall shut.

What he saw once inside made the smile melt off his face instantly. His keys were missing from the keyholder. That mindless scribe-

For once, Kaveh didn’t care if others found out where he lived. Perhaps his actions would catch up to him eventually but for now, he tore open the door, filled his lungs to bursting, and-

“Alhaitham!!!”