Archive of Our Own ^beta

Enid was pretty sure she was the best Cupid ever. At the moment, however, she did not feel like the best Cupid ever. She was, in fact, very late for her meeting, and Weems would not be pleased. Her footsteps pounded against the clouds and oh, how she wished she was on an assignment. She could disappear and teleport on Earth, at least, but above the clouds she was stuck walking like any other generic worker. Bursting into the meeting room, she gripped the doorframe, panting lightly. All eyes of her Cupid coworkers turned to her, them already having spread out into groups. 

“Miss Sinclair,” Head Cupid Weems said sternly, “you’re late.”

“Right, right,” Enid swallowed, “totally lost track of time. Definitely on me.”

“It would be ‘on you’ regardless.” Weems raised a brow, “why, we’ve already picked assignments.” Enid’s face heated, hands fidgeting. Scanning the room, her coworkers were all watching her with interest, seeing what she’d do. Assignment table. Right. She quickly walked over to the cloud, seeing every single file taken– except for one. Enid quickly grabbed it, the bundles of files almost spilling out from the folder. Oh, yikes. In addition to the sheer amount of files within, meaning there were quite a few candidates, meaning more work, Enid’s breath caught at the label at the top. Quickly glancing at her coworkers, everyone had a pink or red heart sticker slapped on their file. Enid’s file was a big, fat white heart. Oh, this was not great.

Within the Cupid ranking system, every file for a candidate that needed to find their special someone got a label. Red hearts mean the candidate is open for love, dating around, and is a generally easy person to find love for. Pink hearts meant the clients were a bit more difficult, often more introverted people who tended to be a little bit snappy sometimes. However, it was still plausible to find love for them, and oftentimes Cupids liked a little bit of a challenge. White hearts, however, were tricky. They meant the client was very cold, closed to love. Oftentimes, it could take months or even years to deal with a white heart client. It was very rare they got put to the common Cupids, but Enid wasn’t just a common Cupid. She had almost flawless marks, and a very good track record with sparking romance. If anyone could do this, it was her. She opened it, and the room held a bated breath.

“Miss Sinclair,” Weems said slowly, “that case is, ah…difficult.”

“Well,” Enid flashed her a smile. “I accept it.” Small murmurs ricocheted through the groups, but she held her ground.

“You do understand that not only your marks are riding on this, but your reputation as a Cupid, correct?” The Head Cupid approached, hands folded.

“Yes, ma’am. I believe if anyone can do it, I can!”

“Well then,” Weems gave her a small smile with a quirk of her brow. “Good luck.”

Enid tilted her head appreciatively. “Hopefully I won’t need it.”

“Oh goodness,” Weems whispered as she watched the workers stream out of the room. “You will.”

_________

Wednesday flipped through the book in her hand, using the other to stir her breakfast in a pan. The story was interesting, and quite gorey. Very much to her liking. Oh, how Disney had desecrated such flavorful tales such as Cinderella with their distasteful cover-ups. There was nothing wrong with some good old-fashioned foot reshaping with a knife, though apparently, the company begged to differ. Her thoughts were interrupted by the incessant meowing of her cat, Thing. Wednesday reached out and scratched his chin, the cat purring as her fingers rubbed over his hairless skin. 

Checking the time idly, Wednesday noticed the mail would have come by now. She flipped the food in the pan over onto a plate, setting it on the counter. Thing wouldn't touch it. He despised spices. Making her way over to the door, she opened it and stepped out— right through a girl. Her eyes flew open, and she stared right at the person, who had previously had her hand in a position to knock. The act of Wednesday stepping right through her seemed to phase the girl significantly more than it did Wednesday, as she spluttered for a second and fell backward. She managed to tumble down the front steps of Wednesday's porch while not even being solid. Wednesday, already knowing this was going to be an excruciating day, walked right through the figure. 

“Wait!” The girl popped up, apparating in front of her. “Howdy! We weren’t introduced. I’m Enid! Sinclair.” Enid was a blonde girl, dressed entirely in pinks, whites, reds and yellows. Wednesday personally thought Enid looked like a Valentine’s Day display had exploded onto her clothes. She had a little pink halo around the side of her head, a few hearts strung onto it. Heart-shaped pink wings fluttered from her back, and if it wasn't for the fact Wednesday had just stepped right through her, she'd have thought the girl was in cosplay. Nevertheless, Wednesday had better things to do than entertain whatever holy force had chosen to fuck with her today, so she continued walking. 

"I guess you're probably wondering who and what I am, right?" Enid walked beside her, a little bounce in her step.

"Not especially."

"I'm a Cupid. Subdivision of Aphrodite up in the clouds, y'know? And," she gave little jazz hands, blocking Wednesday's driveway path. "I'm here to help you find love!" Enid didn't know what she was expecting with a white heart case, but it wasn't for Wednesday to look offended and then continue walking. 

"Hey!" Enid jogged after her, "you can't ignore me!"

"I definitely can."

"You just responded. That's not ignoring! Checkmate." Wednesday didn't dignify that with a response, instead thinking about something.

"So," she glared at the girl, "assuming that you are really an agent of love, as you say, how do you know if I'm romantically repulsed?"

"We have a whooole other sector for Cupids like that!" Enid changed her pace to a skip, "for platonic love. Or anything in-between. You, however, fall in the romantic section, so haha!" Wednesday didn't respond. "Uh," the Cupid's tone was sheepish, "who do you like?"

"Not you."

"Hey!" She scoffed, "if you're going to be rude, at least don't assume that I'd want anything to do with you like that . I'm here to help you find love, whether you like it or not!" 

Wednesday pulled open her mailbox, retrieving the mail, "and what," she closed it with a snap– "if I refuse?"

Enid sighed, "I didn't want it to come to this." Rummaging in a bag that had appeared from nowhere, she searched for something. "Ever heard of Narcissus? From Greek stuff?"

"Yes."

"Well," she pulled out a pink arrow with a heart-shaped head. "You get the idea. You don't cooperate, I make you fall in love with, like, a grotesque spider or something." 

"I quite enjoy spiders. Especially the venomous ones." 

"I–," Enid panicked. "I'll make you fall in love with someone who, uh, likes pink! A lot!" She used the arrow to indicate Wednesday from head to toe, and the color palette the girl chose (or lack thereof.) The girl in question gave Enid a horrified look, by her standards. 

"Absolutely not."

"You don't want to fall in love with someone you hate, I don't want to get a bad grade on this assignment. It's win-win except I'm kiiinda holding you hostage. Capisce?"

Wednesday gave a slight incline of her head in affirm, then promptly stormed back up her driveway, slamming the door in Enid's general direction.

"See you next week, Wednesday!" 

_________

Wednesday was close to jumping in front of the incoming traffic zooming by where she was standing. Enid stood beside her, tapping her feet excitedly. Wednesday was already not the world's biggest fan of social interaction, so the idea of going on a date with someone she didn't even like was insane. But, whoever Enid had roped into this was better than the person she had been threatened with. 

"How did you plan this?" Wednesday spoke, looking towards the Cupid. Enid's face lit up, and she clapped her hands excitedly.

"I'm so glad you asked."

"And I am regretting it."

"This!" Enid pulled a pink file folder out of nowhere, the color so bright it nearly sent Wednesday into anaphylaxis. "I have one for like fifteen more people. People from your past, who've had crushes on you, et cetera." She flipped open the folder, and the only thing Wednesday could catch was the name YOKO TANAKA before Enid snapped it closed. Wednesday was about to give Enid some choice words about the color choice when the girl gasped, jumping up and down and grabbing onto Wednesday's arm, who immediately tugged it back. "She's here!" Sure enough, a woman in red and black was walking over. Thick, round sunglasses rested on her nose, so Wednesday couldn't see her eyes. She admired the look. However, the rest of her outfit looked like a vampire costume from Party City.

"She's dressed kinda like you, right?" Enid grinned, "all gothy 'n stuff."

"I'm not even going to comment on that." Wednesday's voice was laced with distaste, but for Enid's sake– and more importantly, her own– she'd try. 

Key word: Try. Wednesday looked back at the Cupid to find her gone, the only remnants being the faint floral of her perfume. Disgusting. Speaking of so, Yoko had reached Wednesday. 

"Wednesday," she tilted her head coyly, "fancy seeing you here."

"I'm surprised you can see at all, considering the thickness of those sunglasses."

"Oh, shut up, I have a light sensitivity thing." Wednesday studied the other woman. Taller than her, Yoko carried herself with an air of superiority. Wednesday could value that in someone.

"So," Yoko offered her arm, to which Wednesday gave her a dirty look. "Shall we?" Wednesday didn't say anything and just walked into the bar. Yoko hurried ahead, getting a table for two in the back. Wednesday followed the waitress, noting the bar that they were at. Plastic fangs, fake blood, dim lights– vampire themed. Oh, wonderful. Really contributing to the Hot Topic goth aesthetic of Yoko. The pair sat down, receiving water from the bartender. 

"Who put you up to this?" Yoko asked, raising an eyebrow. Wednesday stared incredulously. "I mean," the woman retrieved a piece of paper from her handbag. It was bright pink, with pink pen writing, and from what Wednesday could see, the 'i's were dotted with hearts. "Unless you're pulling some kind of prank on me, I don't think this is really your style." She waved the letter around, "so who put you up to this?"

"A…friend." The words felt unfamiliar in Wednesday's mouth— Enid, her friend? 

Yoko smiled, "exploring new horizons?"

"You could say that." Wednesday internally cursed Enid's bloodline about seventy-two different times, pausing to wonder if Cupids even had bloodlines. If not, she'd find a way. 

"Let's drink, then!" Yoko popped a pair of plastic vampire fangs into her mouth, grinning at the other girl, who stared back, gobsmacked. 

"Stop that."

"Nope! You invited me, you're stuck with me!" Oh, fuck you, Enid. Wednesday simply raised an eyebrow. 

"So, what kinda media do you like? Or is everything you listen to just heavy metal?"

"I actually prefer funeral hymns." 

"Right. Yeah, I'm more into Slipknot, hyperpop…" 

Wednesday fixed her with a bored glance, "I don't suppose you partake in any quality movies?"

"Does Twilight count?"

"I think you know the answer to that."

Yoko waved the bartender over, calling for drinks. Wednesday got a glass of straight vodka, while Yoko got a Bloody Mary. Original.

"I'm a pretty big vampire geek," she rambled, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Twilight, Dracula– obviously–" Her voice faltered as she watched Wednesday down an entire glass of vodka.

"Oh, okay." 

"It's weak," Wednesday muttered. "Watered down."

"Right." Yoko glanced her up and down, “you won’t get alcohol poisoning on me, will you?”

"I'm not a lightweight," the other woman insisted. 

“Where’d you even learn to drink like that?” Wednesday ignored her question, waving over another beverage. Yoko took her time on her Bloody Mary, however. “What caused you— or your friend— to choose me?” She twirled the stem of the glass between her nails.

“I don’t know, honestly.” Wednesday’s eyes searched for something that wasn’t there. “I suppose she was right, I need to get out of the house more, so she just found some people that she thought I’d be compatible with.”

“Well, she must be real good, because I used to have the biggest thing for you in middle school.” Yoko gave her a tilted smile, “you were so morbid that I just kinda stared at you all the time.”

“I recall you having a staring problem with me. Even more than others tended to, and that’s saying something.”

“Yeah. Where do you work, anyway?” 

“I work at Uriah’s Heap.”

“Oh, that old thrift store down the way?” Wednesday raised her chin in a slight nod. “Cool. I work at a morgue.”

“Do you?” Intriguement laced her tone. 

“You bet!” Yoko shot her finger-guns, to which Wednesday wrinkled her nose. “I spend most of my time ‘round Hot Topic though.”

“As expected,” Wednesday muttered, watching Yoko finish her drink. “Has this been enough torture?” She directed the question at Yoko, who laughed. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll get the check.”

“I have it.” Wednesday slid some money over to the bartender, who nodded in appreciation. He waved the two out. Yoko handed her a slip of paper, folded between two fingers, then winked. 

"In case." Wednesday didn't look at it, nodding, then briskly walked out of the door and down the block, without even a goodbye. Once she was four streets down, Enid appeared, grinning. 

"So, what did we think? I honestly thought there was some chemist- WEDNESDAY!" The girl in question was currently shredding the napkin that contained Yoko's number, stomping on it for good measure. 

"I thought Yoko was very nice!"

"Yoko," Wednesday turned to face the Cupid, "is a shallow excuse for a goth, and would be the perfect match for someone who can tolerate that many pop culture references." 

Enid huffed, "whatever. You're actually helping me narrow it down, so technically, I'm winning." She gave an impish grin to Wednesday, who glared at her. 

"Go back to your clouds, and leave me alone."

"Back to the drawing board, then." Enid started off down the sidewalk, looking over her shoulder and flashing a toothy smile, "see you next week, Wednesday!"

_________

“I cannot believe this.” 

“Oh, suck it up, you big baby.” Enid received a murderous look, and she simply rolled her eyes in return, a smile plastered on her face.

“This is shredding my dignity piece by piece,” Wednesday gritted her teeth.

“It’s just one more date. And who knows! Maybe you’ll really like this one, and I won’t have to interact with you ever again!”

“Tempting.” The two continued their walk to a small sushi restaurant on the other side of town. Wednesday didn’t particularly enjoy water or swimming if it didn’t involve drowning or horrifying creatures, but she did have a penchant for the deep sea. So many horrifying creatures, untouched by the dirty hands of man. Absolutely charming.

“There’s not much you need to know about this one,” Enid spoke, unable to move in silence, “or much you get to know about her. Her name’s Bianca.” Wednesday eyed her.

“This better not be who I’m thinking of.”

“We’ll see!” Enid sing-songed. “See, your problem with Yoko was that she wasn’t authentic and was too flirty, right?”

“Essentially.”

“Well, this girl is as authentic as it gets, and she’s kinda cold too. Perfect balance, amiright?”

“We’ll see.” The pair continued walking, Wednesday in thought. She suddenly stopped, turning to confront Enid.

“This is Bianca Barclay, isn’t it? The same Barclay from middle school, where we hated each other?”

“Ding-ding-ding!” Enid imitated a bell. She got a dreamy look on her face, “academic rivals to lovers, one of my favorite tropes.” Wednesday had to hold herself back from gagging. They approached the restaurant, and lo and behold, Bianca Barclay comes into view. She’s a tall woman with shoulder-length hair, twisted in locs. Otherwise, it was just the same as it was in middle school. Bright eyes that seemed to bore into your soul. An air of confidence that made you want to submit or challenge. And if there was one thing that Wednesday Addams liked, it was a challenge.

“Well,” the woman’s voice came out smooth as a calm sea. “You finally fought your dignity and took me on a date.” Bianca donned a smirk. “Didn’t think you had the balls, Addams.”

“Remember the last time we crossed?” Wednesday’s tone was careful. “Be a shame if more piranhas ended up in your swimming pool.”

“I only work part-time as the lifeguard now.” The memory was obviously still evident. “Choir director otherwise. You know how our music teacher always said I had a voice like a siren.”

“How fitting with the theme.” Wednesday said flatly, “now, can we get this over with?”

“We shall.” The two walked side-by-side into the restaurant. Wednesday cursed herself for going on dates with people who had such a theme. Yoko’s vampires, and now Bianca’s affection for all things aquatic. 

“Table for two, please,” Bianca directed at a server. The server nodded, leading them to the middle.

“Booth or high, ma’am?”

“Booth, please. I don’t know if my date would be quite able to reach the floor in a barstool.” This earned her a hard stomp to the toe, to which she flinched.

“As you wish.” The server directed them to a booth by a fish tank. Bianca watched the fish with interest, entranced for a good minute. Wednesday took this time to notice that Enid had disappeared right when Bianca had come into view. Unfortunate that she couldn’t inflict this torture on the Cupid, for such a shallow-minded girl would probably enjoy this sort of thing. The server placed down some water, pulling out their notepad. 

“Any appetizers?” They said, looking at the two.

“I’ll have the Everything platter,” Bianca responded, glancing at her menu.

“I’m alright for now.” Wednesday said.

“I’ll be right out,” the server scribbled down the order, then quickly left.

“So, Addams, what are you up to these days? Still harassing the sheriff with your investigations?”

“Sheriff Galpin and I are quite acquainted, yes. I work at Uriah’s Heap now, though.”

“That’s certainly fitting. A macabre, ghosty place for a macabre, ghosty girl.” Wednesday thought pointedly that Enid was more ghost than she was, but nevertheless. 

“And you?”

“Like I said, still doing lifeguarding. I really think some people choose to go swimming while on some sort of drugs, because there is no way some of them can be this stupid. ”

“Do tell?”

“Had a guy try to wash his hair in the hot tub inside. Bubbles everywhere. Couldn’t get ‘em out for a week or so. A lady tried to take her baby into the deep end…”

“Sounds like she is off the deep end.” Wednesday attempted a joke, which Bianca chuckled at.

“You could say that.”

“We get some people in Uriah’s Heap that are definitely characters.”

“Even for you?”

“Yes. I truly do not understand some of their thought processes.” Bianca opened her mouth to add in, but the server placed down her plate. 

“May I get you started with your course?” The server tilted their head. Bianca rattled off a list of things on the menu, ordering about five items. Wednesday studied the options, then spoke decidedly.

“I’ll have the squid.” 

Bianca eyed her with an intrigued look, and the server nodded, scribbling everything down. 

“It’ll come out as soon as possible.” Wednesday folded her hands, and Bianca leaned across the table. 

“What prompted you to ask me out?” The question was so sudden it took Wednesday a second to respond. 

“I was encouraged by a friend to expand my horizons.” Bianca’s eyes flicked up.

“You? Made a friend?”

“Don’t sound so shocked.”

Bianca simply laughed. Wednesday grumbled something, taking a sip of her water. 

“Your friend must be something special, if she managed to get you on a date.”

“She’s definitely something.” Wednesday felt the urge to speak words that bubbled at her throat– she is special. Wait. Where did that come from. 

She shook it off.

The two waited for another ten minutes, until the first dish was placed down. Then the second, and the third, and the fourth, and the fifth, and finally, Wednesday’s squid was placed in front of her. Bianca nodded appreciatively, digging into her sushi, while Wednesday took a slower approach to eating. 

“You’re inhaling that,” Wednesday raised her chopsticks in the air, quirking an eyebrow.

“Eat your food, Addams.” Wednesday did not take orders from anyone.

She ate her food.

“This is one of the less shitty sushi places you can get here,” Bianca started, pushing around her food on her third plate. “For being a landlocked state, after all.”

“I like them decayed,” Wednesday responded, glancing at the disgusted look on the other woman’s face and almost cracking a smile. 

“You’re disgusting.”

“Flattery on a date? Barclay, you’ve hit rock bottom.”

“I think I hit rock bottom once I agreed to go on a date with you.” Before Bianca could say anything else, a squid tentacle hit her straight in the face, detaching with a few suction cups still sucked onto her forehead. Wednesday looked at her deadpan, while Bianca’s eyes flickered with competitiveness.

“Oh, you’re on.” Bianca picked up a roll, hurling it straight at Wednesday, who ducked. The rice hit the wall with a thick splat, and slid down. The lifeguard shimmied to avoid another loose squid tentacle, and whipped back a crab leg. The head of the squid smacked her right in the chest, skin sticking to her shirt. Suction cups dotted her pants like grotesque polka-dots. She looked angrily at Wednesday, who had her arms folded and was glaring back.

“Let’s split the check before we get fucking kicked out.”

“I think that was the first smart thing you’ve said all evening.” Wednesday pulled out her credit card, slapping it on the bill next to Bianca’s, both of them waiting for the nervous attendant to return. When they did, Wednesday quickly pocketed her card, taking her coat.

“What, no goodbye kiss?” Bianca’s voice dripped with sarcasm, “seriously.” Her face lightened, “you’re fun, Addams, that’s for sure. But,” she pulled a suction cup from her shirt. “I think we’d kill each other.”

“And not in a fun way,” Wednesday conceded, then gingerly offered her hand. Bianca shook it, and then Wednesday yanked hers back. “You wouldn’t be able to handle me, regardless.” 

Bianca turned back with a smirk before exiting the restaurant, “try and find someone who can.”

Wednesday helped clean up as much of the mess as the staff would let her before she was ushered out of the restaurant and kindly told to never show her face there again. A familiar pink shimmer appeared beside her, letting way for Enid to step in.

“Really, Wednesday?”

“That was not a horrible date, actually.”

“Are you kidding?!” Enid massaged her temples, “whatever, there’s always more options.” She inhaled and then exhaled deeply. “Always more options.” 

Wednesday watched her from the corner of her eye, and Enid turned to walk in the opposite direction. She looked back, waving shortly.

“See you next week, Wednesday.”

_________

“Are you sure that having me go to a random person’s apartment for a first date is a wise choice?” Wednesday’s tone was condescending. 

“Okay, you’re making it sound so much worse than it is,” Enid rolled her eyes. “Number one, you always carry some sort of weapon on you. I don’t doubt that you could take down this guy, easy. A strong breeze could blow him over. And second, he’s your childhood friend. You’ll be fine, drama queen.” Wednesday shot Enid a very nasty look, then her words clicked and her eyes widened.

“Joel?”

“Yep!” Enid twirled on the sidewalk, “Joel Glicker.” Wednesday shook her head, very much re-evaluating her choices leading up to now, but just kept walking. They approached the apartment, Enid staring at the welcome mat.

“Stay Calm and Carry an EpiPen. Creative.”

“Expected.” Wednesday said, reaching out to knock on the door. It swung open to reveal a roughly 18 ½ year old man, who had a flannel and khaki shorts on. Glasses rested on his nose, thick lenses, and an inhaler stuck out of his pocket.

“Wednesday,” he breathed, taking in the girl in awe. “It’s been what, five years?” 

“Six.”

“Yep, six.” He re-adjusted his glasses, pushing them up his nose. “Come in, come in.” Wednesday noticed Enid has subsequently vanished, the only remains being a pink floral scent. She walked in, being hit with the smell of cooking meat.

“I remember you liked stew from Camp Chippewa, so I tried my best to recreate it. Now it’s allergy friendly and decidedly not thirty-five days expired.”

“A shame. I liked it that way.”

“Should’ve guessed,” he laughed nervously, wiping his lens on his shirt. Wednesday took this opportunity to look around the apartment. The entire place smelled of alcohol wipes, not a speck of dust around. Clean covers adorned all the furniture, and there was an entire cabinet dedicated to various pills and injections.

“I don’t suppose you’re a medical student of any sort?” She remarked dryly.

“No, not really.” He stepped out of the kitchen to join her. “Though I’m in the E.R. so much that I should be counted as an honorary student.”

“Fascinating.”

“Right? I’ve made medical discoveries. I actually get quite a hefty bonus from how many experiments have been run on me.”

“A regular lab rat.”

“I guess. Hey, uh, food’s ready if you want.” She gave a slight nod, sitting down at the table and thumbing the knife she had pulled from her sleeve. Joel turned to the kitchen, retrieving a big pot of stew. He placed it on the table, spooning it into her bowl and his own.

“Looks positively awful,” Wednesday said, a tinge of affection in her voice. If you weren’t looking for it, you’d miss it. Joel gave her a small smile.

“Dig in!”

Wednesday stabbed a piece of meat with her fork, seeming content with the taste. The two ate in silence, occasionally sharing a look. Joel finally broke the silence with an awkward, “so…”

Wednesday raised an eyebrow. “So?”

“Last time we met…” Oh. Wednesday thought about that.

Growing up, she’d seen her parents adore each other. Her father worshiped the ground her mother walked on, he’d do anything for her. That was all Wednesday had ever known. So logically, when she met Joel, it had clicked. This was a man who, like her father, would do anything for her. He’d shown that from the very start. So, she kissed him, expecting it to all click as well. 

It hadn’t.

Wednesday was left feeling very confused as to why she wasn’t feeling the sparks that her mother had described feeling when kissing her father. Why didn't she feel the need to do it again? Kissing Joel had done…nothing. It had done nothing. 

This was around the first time that Wednesday started thinking women were attractive.

She snapped out of her thoughts, eyeing Joel.

“What about it?”

“Well, I mean, I don’t–” he stumbled over his words. Wednesday thought for another moment.

“Joel?”

“Yeah?”

“Salt.” He immediately handed it to her. She studied him, then salted her food. He kept his eyes on her, the two eating again. 

“Joel?”

“Yeah?”

“A knife.” He got up, retrieving one, then placed it by her. She cut up little pieces of her meat, keeping eye contact with him the entire time. He started to feel his palms sweat, reminding himself that this was just how Wednesday was. In a way, he felt like he was on the menu, poking at his food.

“Joel?”

“Yeah?”

“I'm not sure that this is appetizing to me anymore. Make me something else."

"Huh?"

She raised an eyebrow. 

"Did you not hear me?" 

"No, no I did, I just…"

"Then what's the issue?"

"Uh. Nothing." He got up, hustling to the kitchen, before Wednesday got up.

"Stop."

"What?" He turned around, fear flashing across his face.

"This…is not going to work out." She studied him, watching the crestfallen expression take his features.

"Oh. Did I…do something?"

"In a way," she gathered her coat. "This has not been entirely horrible. Goodbye, Joel."

"Okay." And that's where she left him, standing in the dining room. As soon as she was down the stairs, Enid appeared, seemingly royally pissed off.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" She paced back and forth, throwing up her hands as they walked, "there was literally NOTHING wrong with him! You're just being difficult! I mean, I know white heart cases are bad, but GOODNESS!" Wednesday waited for the girl to calm down, eyes following her back and forth.

"I am nothing like my father," she started. Enid paused. "I do not want someone who worships the ground I walk upon, someone who will do anything blindly for me, someone who fears me." Enid's mouth formed into an 'o' shape.

"That…makes a lot of sense, actually."

"I do not judge on blind hatred, without a reason. Especially someone I have been fond of before." Her words were careful, cherry-picked.

"Okay." The both of them stood there on the sidewalk, cars zooming by. Enid gave a little shake of her head like a wet puppy, as if clearing her thoughts. "Right. Well, I'll be going now." She smiled warmly at her client. "See you next week, Wednesday." 

The last thing that Wednesday remembered thinking was how Enid didn't look half-bad while angry.

_________

Wednesday really didn't know why she was standing next to a pottery shop. Well, she did, but why she was continuing to entertain anyone was beyond her. She scanned through her mind for anyone who she knew that liked pottery. Nothing. 

"Who's our moron for today?" She asked dryly, directing it to the Cupid beside her.

"Okay, first of all, that's mean. Second of all, his name is Xavier Thorpe." Enid made sparkles with her hands, eliciting a look of disgust from Wednesday.

"Xavier?"

"That's what I said."

"You cannot be serious," Wednesday muttered, watching the boy that was apparently her childhood friend approach. The first and only time they had met was about ten years before, when Wednesday basically stopped him from being cremated. Joyous times. 

"Serious as ever! And, this one isn't a pushover." Enid twirled, poofing into a cloud of pink floral perfume. Wednesday's eye twitched. She had decided to not mention to Enid her distaste for men, instead letting everything play out. 

"Wednesday." The boy's voice was endearing, and he smiled at her.

"Xavier. It has been a while."

"Far too long, right?" He was met with silence. "Okay then." She opened the door, holding it for him.

"And they say chivalry is dead?" He winked.

"I'll kill it myself," she said under her breath. The two entered, and Wednesday was hit with the smell of clay.

"My humble abode," Xavier boasted. "I don't live here, but I basically do. 'S why the owner let me in after hours." 

"Wow, how special." The flatness of her tone flew right over his head. 

"I'm going to work with clay. It's kinda my thing."

"I'll paint a mug," she decided, taking an unpainted one from the shelf. They washed their hands, and Xavier threw the clay down on his wheel, Wednesday taking a seat beside him. He started spinning it, the white noise of the machine filling the room. Wednesday used some paints, choosing some blacks and reds while attempting to paint a gory death scene. Xavier leaned over, looking at her work, then sucked in a breath.

"Wow." She ignored him and continued her brushstrokes. "Hey, move your brush this way, you'll get a cleaner line." He reached out to guide her wrist, but she yanked her arm away. He faltered, going back to his clay in shame. Using his hands, he carefully sculpted features of her. Wednesday looked at it out of the corner of her eye, not understanding why he was doing that, but letting him anyway.

"Oh, wait, hold it upside down for that paint trick," he tried to grab her mug again, Wednesday pulling back. 

"Refrain from touching me."

"Right." He swallowed, "okay."

Xavier used his tools to breathe life into his sculpture. Slowly, Clay Wednesday's eyes, nose, and mouth came into focus. It was almost hauntingly beautiful, the slopes of her cheeks, the strands of hair. Wednesday used the back of her brush to splatter paint on the top, Xavier reaching out to help. She hit his elbow back, glaring at him. He held up his hands in surrender.

"Sorry, sorry." Wednesday had to run a few scenarios of murder through her mind to calm down, but finished the mug.

Then, with a furrow of her eyebrows, she raised the cup above her head and brought it down on the table with a smash.

"What is wrong with you?!" Xavier jumped up, frantically looking at the pieces. "Are you crazy? If I made you mad, just say that!" Wednesday glared at him, brushing off her hands, then started to put the pieces back together with black glue sealing it. Xavier paused, watching her, almost transfixed.

"...sorry." He muttered when she was done, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Wednesday simply pushed the cup aside, gathering her things.

"What, wait, what?" He stopped her with a hand on the shoulder. She didn't say anything, just glaring at him, while taking her bag.

"Can I at least get your number?" He asked bitterly. Wednesday pulled open the door, turning back. 

"Since we have met, you have done nothing but disregard my boundaries and impose upon me. This will be our final date, if you could even call it that."

His jaw clicked shut, and he watched as she exited, then simply said, "crazy bitch."

As Wednesday walked, a familiar perfume wafted by, and Enid almost ran into her. The Cupid could barely make out words, her sentences were warbled by tears. Wednesday had never been top star at comforting people. She stood there, very awkwardly, and gingerly held out a hand, putting it on Enid's shoulder. Enid paused, wiping her cheek, "huh?"

"You are upset."

"Figure that one out by yourself?"

"Take the win, Enid."

"Okay, okay." She sniffled, "sorry. I was just stressed about the assignment. No one I've found so far has been compatible and if I can't find you a paramour, I'm going to lose my reputation as a Cupid." Wednesday paused, being deep in thought. 

"If you can find me someone who is not a horrible person, nor a pushover or just tacky, I will go on ONE-" Enid squealed. "-final serious date with them."

"Oh, oh, oh!" She held out her arms for a hug, Wednesday backing up. "Oh, right." She patted Wednesday on the shoulder, who almost rolled her eyes.

"One final date. No more."

"Heard loud and clear." Enid's face had gone from tear-streaked and upset to overjoyed in a matter of seconds. How fascinating.

"I won't let you down, pinky promise!" The Cupid clapped her hands, then turned to disappear. "See you next week, Wednesday." 

However, Enid couldn't deny the way her stomach flipped uncomfortably at the thought of Wednesday finding someone she didn't absolutely hate.

_________

One last date. One last date.

That was the phrase Wednesday kept repeating in her mind. One last date, because stupid Enid had made her stupid feelings make her feel bad, which was stupid. Wednesday didn't feel bad. She felt negatively all the time. Compassion was simply something she did not possess. Yeah.

It was a pleasantly warm night out. Enid and Wednesday walked in silence, though Wednesday could feel Enid's arm itching to grab onto hers. It was just the kind of person Enid was. However, she kept it together, and kept her hands to herself. Wednesday hated the weather. It was so mundane, so pleasant it was itchy. 

“So,” she started, pointedly avoiding eye contact with Enid. “Who’s the candidate of today?”

“We can go over his file.” Enid’s eyes flickered down to the pink folder suddenly present in her hand. “His name is Tyler Galpin.” Wednesday felt her heart sink. She’d definitely tell Enid about that whole not-liking-men thing after the date was over. Hopefully, Enid would accept her as a lost cause, and they’d put it all behind them. Then, Wednesday could finally be alone, with no blonde Cupid to pester her every week.

Something in her heart did not agree with that. Wednesday made it a habit to disagree with her heart when it started saying stupid things. 

“He’s twenty-one years old, works at a coffee shop. Very sweet boy, from the looks of it. Apparently he’s seen you walk by the shop a few times and always thought you were pretty.”

“I’d prefer him to be disgusted, but that works too.”

“We’re here!” Enid’s voice had a tone to it that it usually did not have. Wednesday chose not to comment on this. She opened the door, acknowledging Enid as a goodbye, then shut it to signify her arrival.

“Hey, Wednesday, right?” A tall boy with messy brown hair hung up his apron. As he approached, Wednesday noticed that he smelled like coffee beans. Dressed in a white collared shirt under a brown sweater, he slipped back behind the counter.

“How do you like your coffee?”

“Quad over ice, please.” Wednesday hadn’t changed her order since she was twelve. 

“Harcore. Nice.” The boy seemingly didn’t care if coffee splashed on him while he worked, just happy to be out of the apron. Wednesday watched him work with interest. Something clicked in her mind, and she glanced at his nametag.

“Galpin?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He flashed it at her, “Tyler Galpin. Nice to meet you.” Wednesday traced the room’s outlay with her eyes. 

“You’re Sheriff Galpin’s son?”

“As far as I’m aware,” he laughed, shaking his head. 

“The Sheriff and I have gotten into a few… altercations.”

“Oh!” Tyler noticed something. “I don’t know how many Wednesdays I assumed were here, but you’re Wednesday Addams!”

“The one and only.”

“My dad talks about you quite a lot. It’s mostly complaints, and paired with some…choice names, but it’s nice to put a pretty face to the name, I guess.” A slight flush took over his cheeks, and he ducked his head to cover it. Wednesday gave a short nod, not horribly disgusted by this.

Maybe this was love?

“Who’s your, uh, friend?” He used a stirrer to indicate towards the window. “She’s kinda creeping me out.” Wednesday turned to look and saw Enid scowling, arms folded as she stared daggers into Tyler’s soul. An expression was on her face that Wednesday couldn’t quite discern, but she flared her eyes warningly at her friend.

“That’s Enid. She’s…a friend.” 

She tried to ignore the strange feeling in her gut at seeing Enid look like that.

“Oh…kay…” Tyler sounded unsure, but Wednesday glared at Enid again, and the Cupid rolled her eyes, stalking off in the opposite direction. The two sat down in a booth looking at the window, Tyler having made himself a coffee with cream. He stirred a spoon in it, waiting for Wednesday to break the silence.

“Are you a student?” Wednesday raised her cup to her mouth, taking a full drink from it. 

“No,” Tyler said, “I’m waiting a couple years before I go to college. I need some time to kinda…get back on my feet, if you know what I mean. Emotionally.”

“Understandable. The only thing appealing about the school system is the torture it produces.”

“Right.” He cracked a smile, “how ‘bout you?”

“I am not currently a student.”

“Do you work anywhere?”

“Uriah’s Heap. Down the street, actually.”

“Oh, the old junk shop. I might visit you sometime.”

“Careful.” She raised an eyebrow, “I heard only real sick people go to that place.” 

Tyler gave a grin at that, “you don’t seem as bad as my dad makes you out to be. Then again, he is my dad, so.”

“I like to do some detective work on the side,” Wednesday took another sip, “your father does not favor it.”

“What, because you do his job for him?” 

“More so because I’m willing to do what he can’t.”

“Cool.” Tyler drummed his fingers on the table. “Jericho doesn’t seem like the town for you. It’s kinda…close-minded.”

“Close-minded people simply have to have their minds pried open with a crowbar.”

“That’s one way of doing it.”

“I do not allow spaces of intolerance to continue to be intolerant. If I do not want to walk away from something, I will not, and I will force myself in whatever close-minded spaces not made for me until it is uncomfortable.” Tyler laughed, shaking his head.

“You really are something, Wednesday.” She studied him in return. 

“Is there good business down here?”

“What, in Jericho? I mean, yeah?” He looked deep in thought. “We’re no Starbucks, that’s for sure, but we get some pretty good business. There’s this one lady, Ms. Thornhill, I think she’s a university teacher. Every day she comes in and gets a matcha iced tea. One of my favorite regulars. Actually,” Tyler cracked a sheepish smile, “you could be my new favorite regular.”

Wednesday paused, analyzing the situation. “Maybe I could.” 

Tyler’s face brightened. 

“So, you’ve clearly met my dad. What’re your parents like? Are they as cool as you?”

“My parents are everything and nothing alike to me.” Wednesday’s words were short and quick. 

“Care to…elaborate?”

“My mother and father are completely entranced with each other. Our butler, Lurch, is there, and I have two brothers, Pubert and Pugsley. Grandmama hangs around too.”

“Butler? Are you like, rich-rich?”

“We are wealthy, correct.” 

“Interesting. Yeah, it’s just me and my dad here. Mom died when I was little, sooooo…” his voice trailed off.

“Oh.” Wednesday was silent, not knowing how to react to that. Tyler cleared his throat, drinking the last of his coffee. 

“So, uh, will this become a common thing?” He offered a smile to Wednesday, who got up and took her bag. She paused, bated breath.

“Yes. We can meet again. However,” she turned to him, “I have not been honest with you. I have no interest in men, and I would like our meetings to be strictly platonic.”

“Oh.” Tyler stood there, mouth agape. “Oh…okay.”

She stood in thought for a minute. “Thank you, Tyler.”

“Yeah, you’re welcome, Wednesday.” She dropped the empty cup in the recycling, nodding at him, before exiting. Maybe a small part of her felt bad for leading the boy on. Well, all’s fair in love and war and also getting Enid a good grade.

Speaking of which, Wednesday walked down to a bench in a nearby park, sitting down. The park was very calm and quiet at night. No children around to be messy or stick or loud. The perfect atmosphere. Wednesday could barely open her mouth to call for the Cupid when a flash of pink smoke revealed an absolutely livid Enid.

“Okay.” She spun on her heel, looking straight at Wednesday. “I have tried really, really, really hard to do this. I mean, I know you were labeled as a white heart case, but stupid Enid thinks she can handle anything! At this point it’s just cruel.” She threw up her hands, “I understand Xavier. Joel, too. Yoko and Bianca are fine. But Tyler? He’s literally everything you wanted, and yet you still didn’t take him!”

Wednesday was silent, letting the girl yell.

“Like seriously, you’re just– not helping! What is even wrong with Tyler? Is it because his dad’s the sheriff? What, Wednesday, what is it?!” They were very close now, about five inches. 

Wednesday thought for a second, calmly replying, “the only issue that I have with Tyler is that he is a man.” 

Enid stared at her. “Uh, what?”

“I…” Wednesday tried to figure out her words. “I am a lesbian. I do not have an interest in men.”

“...oh.” Dumbfounded, Enid sat down next to her, staring at the ground. “That would’ve made narrowing down people real easy.”

“I suppose I was in denial of sorts. I am never wrong, ever, but I may have…miscalculated.” Enid laughed, placing her head in her hands.

“Well, kinda late for me to find someone else, right?”

Wednesday clasped her hands together, seemingly deciding on something. She opened her mouth, mumbling something under her breath. The only words Enid caught were ‘date’ and ‘me.’ That sent a red-hot flush through her entire body.

“...what?"

Wednesday furrowed her brows, then inhaled. “You could go on a date with…me.”

Enid’s breath caught. 

Oh. 

Oh.

She blushed, the two staring at the ground in mutual embarrassment. After a second, she nodded bashfully. “Okay, yeah, I’ll go on a date with you.”

Wednesday stood up, eyes going to anywhere but Enid. “Farewell until then, I suppose.”

Enid’s tone was soft and sweet. 

“See you next week, Wednesday.”

_________

“This will turn out fine.” Enid spoke to herself, running a brush through her hair. Anxiety gnawed at her insides, and for the forty-seventh time that hour, she flipped through the Cupid Handbook. Section 6, subsection 20. Dating clients. As long as Enid had not used her arrows to make Wednesday fall in love with her, or was just using Wednesday to finish an assignment, everything was a-okay. Considering neither of those options were true– Enid had been glaring through the window at Tyler because the idea of him liking Wednesday was upsetting. Wednesday liking anyone to complete the assignment was fine, but goodness something about that boy ruffled her feathers. 

With a sigh, she stood up, smoothing out her dress. This was it– she can’t mess this up. Snapping her fingers, Enid appeared right on Wednesday’s doorstep. With a calm stance, she raised her hand to knock, the door swinging open– right through her. Both girls were hit with a very potent wave of deja vu, but Enid managed to catch herself before tumbling back.

“Guess I’m falling for you already,” she offered a cheeky grin. Wednesday looked back in deadpan.

“I will close this door in your face.”

“WEDNESDAY!”

The girl rolled her eyes, then slowly held out her arm, avoiding eye contact with Enid. She grinned, happily taking it, and the two descended down the steps. The walk around the town was pleasant, by Enid’s standards. It was disgusting by Wednesday’s. The late afternoon light filtered through the trees, making spots of light dance on the sidewalk. Enid found a pretty rock, darting down to snatch it up. 

“Wait,” Wednesday stared at their interlocked arms. “If I can step through you, how are you holding on?”

“I can change it at will!” Enid pushed her hand against a tree, took it back, then pushed it through the oak. 

“Fascinating.” Wednesday studied the mannerisms very closely. Enid took her arm again, and the two carried on to the edge of the cliffs. “I didn’t think you’d have a penchant for heights.”

“Really no need when you can like, fly, right?” Enid stepped dangerously close to the edge, then stepped off. Wednesday felt her heart jump in her throat before it became clear that Enid was just walking around on air. “I can change transparency to other people, too. ‘S why Tyler was able to see me.” She twirled, “cause I wanted him to.”

“That reminds me,” Wednesday folded her arms. “Why were you spying on us?”

“I was…jealous.” Enid twiddled her thumbs, taking a seat on the ledge of the cliff. Wednesday joined her shortly after. 

“Jealous?”

“I think around the date with Joel was when I realized I didn’t want you with anyone. I felt like a horrible person for not wanting my client to find someone.” She kicked her legs. “I guess I just didn’t realize the person I wanted you to find was me.”

Wednesday nodded, looking out at the setting sun. Shades of pinks, oranges, and yellows painted the two in gentle light. 

“You don’t look too bad with some color,” Enid teased.

“You won’t look too bad six feet under.”

“Did you know it’s very common etiquette to not death threat your…date?”

“What about me has ever indicated I follow etiquette?”

“Really good point,” Enid laughed. The two kept their eyes trained on the sliver of sun sinking beneath the hills. Enid felt something turn in her stomach. “Hey, Wednesday?” Wednesday turned her head in response.

Enid felt her breath catch in her throat. “Can I…” Wednesday raised an eyebrow. 

“Can I kiss you?” She blurted, fisting her hands in her skirt. Wednesday’s eyes flared a bit, but after a moment she slowly inched closer as a silent yes. Enid leaned forward quickly. 

The kiss was awkward. Wednesday bumped her nose into Enid’s a couple times. It was dorky, and not professional, and a bit messy. But it worked. Pulling apart, they stayed in each other's space for a bit, taking quiet breaths.

Wednesday crossed her arms in her lap, ducking her head away. Enid tilted her head with a giddy smile. Wednesday bit her cheek, seemingly in thought. 

“Did you hit me with a love arrow?” She asked, studying her in suspicion. 

“I’m offended that you think I’d stoop to that level.”

“You threatened me on the first day we met.”

“You would’ve done the same!”

“I would’ve.” 

“Do you think I hit you with an arrow?”

“No,” Wednesday sighed, unhappily. “I think I managed to fall in love with the annoying person who loves pink all on my own.”

“Yeah,” Enid laughed, interlacing their fingers. At that moment, it was just them. Not assignment, not Cupid, not client. Just them. 

“I think you did.”