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“So Kagami will still play during the Inter High?” questions Aomine.
Next to him, Kuroko nods, his lollipop popping out from his mouth under his friends’ interested gazes. Akashi’s eyes narrow slightly, seeing his ancient Ace ogling their sixth player, but keeps silent. Now is not the moment to butt his head with him. Now, it’s all about being together like they used to, back in middle school. Too much has happened ever since, and none of them is ready to let go of the opportunity of being friends again.
Walking slightly behind them Satsuki shakes her head. Akashi and Aomine’s interest in Kuroko isn’t new at all. In fact, she already suspected them during their last year in Teiko. They had taken their distance from him, since they didn’t exactly involve Tetsu on the court like before, but their eyes still lingered on him longer than needed and longer than on anyone else.
The fact is, that the girl finds it annoyingly old, now. Both men have hurt her precious Kuroko in the past, and even though she doesn’t harbor her long-time crush anymore, he’s still too important in her life. She couldn’t let him get pushed aside by overly proud men. Once has been enough, thank you.
“Has anyone heard about Kise?” asks Midorima behind her.
It’s not like he misses the two-faced blond model, but Shintaro does like punctuality. Being late is unsightly. It’s disrespectful. Especially when Murasakibara and Akashi both made the effort to take the train to come to Tokyo. They deserve the most basic expression of decency. Right?
“Kise-chin? Didn’t he have a date earlier?”
The three men at the head of their group stop and turn to him. Really? A date now? When they’re supposed to meet in order to spend time together as a team? Well, old team. They’re not playing together anymore. They’re rivals, pushing everyone to the best of their capabilities simply by standing on the same court.
“Do you know something?” intervenes Aomine.
The purple giant nods, plunging his hand into his bag and taking a fistful of chips. Some things never change. That’s kinda cool, thinks Momoi, her gaze softening. Besides, this one won’t break her Tetsu’s heart. She doesn’t need to protect him from Murasakibara.
“Mmh. He told me he wanted to confess his feelings to someone, today.”
Eyes widen. And frankly, who could blame them?
Kise Ryota is many things, among which he is good-looking, cunning, talented, and athletic. But he also likes to be admired above everything else, and rarely shows his true colors to anyone. It has taken months, perhaps a year, even, before at least one of the Generation Of Miracles managed to see him as he was behind his masks and layers of lies. He’s not a bad guy, but he’s not one to commit to someone, and even less one to fall in love. Kasamatsu could tell you a lot about the man, but even he has yet to identify every sides of Kise’s personality.
So for Kise to confess?
“Is that again a cute random girl he led on?”
“Didn't you hear right? He is confessing.”
The giant shakes his head. He still doesn’t know why Kise-chin has decided to confide him his intentions for today, in the first place. Probably because he knew that Murasakibara wouldn’t be interested and would most likely listen to him while eating in silence? Or because he’d be the only one to keep his judgment to himself?
Still, it makes him uncomfortable.
“Where are they?” cuts Akashi.
Murasakibara hesitates for a second, before his old captain’s gaze grounds him. Right. He doesn’t have the power here. Even though the redhead is back to normal, it doesn’t mean he’s any less impressive or that his commanding aura has decreased. He’s still a captain you don’t refuse anything to.
Trying to deny it or say ‘no’ to him is pointless.
“They’re at the Café Coton, not too far.”
Kuroko opens his mouth, probably intending on expressing some protest, but Aomine grabs his wrist and spins him around in the right direction. Alright, so none of them has any choice. Midorima rolls his eyes and Satsuki hides a grin behind her hand. She would like to see Ryota getting serious for the first time! It’s a big step for him, and as his friend, she needs to be here for him.
That’s why they all move as one unit, fending the streets all the way to the Café Coton Atsushi has mentioned.
And when they arrive, slightly out of breath because no, it was not that close to their position, it’s to face a beautiful view. The Café throws a large wooden-floored terrace decorated with many fruit trees and flowers. The ambiance is overall cozy and romantic, with a small koi pond in the middle. There’s even a small bridge getting people from one side to the other.
Because of the low chape of clouds and the menacing rain, Kise is alone with someone outside. The temperature is a bit chilly for the summer, and probably has discouraged any other customer to step outside.
However, the thing that surprises the Generation of Miracles the most, is that the person in front of Kise is a boy. A boy with European features, at that. Like one body, they all hide behind the bushes running around the terrace. Unfortunately, they only manage to catch the end of Kise’s confession, when his shaky hand tenderly wraps around the shorter boy’s.
The stranger is tiny, next to the blond. The top of his head barely reaches Kise’s shoulders, and his body is lithe and borderline scrawny. He looks almost starved, but his face is absolutely stunning. His skin is diaphanous, his cheekbones high, his jawline seems sharp enough to cut whoever would try to caress it, and his lips are full and pinkish. A slight blush creeps on the guy’s traits up to his ears and down his pale neck.
What mesmerizes them the most, though, is the almond-shaped emerald eyes. This guy also has long dark lashes brushing his skin whenever he blinks, giving him some ethereal vibe.
Despite his frail shape, they all understand more or less what draws Kise to this man. He looks unreal.
Aomine looks discreetly toward Kuroko. Well, he doesn’t mind thin-shaped boys. He actually rather likes them.
“That’s why I’m sincere in my feelings for you, Harry,” says Kise, a hand on his own heart.
Fortunately, the wind blows in the right direction, sending them his words. Their conversation isn’t bound to remain a secret, now.
“We’ve spent a lot of time together,” the blond man adds. “I got to know you more and more as we had dates. I loved every single second with you, and I’m sure of what my feelings for you are.”
That’s cute, thinks Satsuki behind her flowery tree. Kise has never seemed so sincere and desperate before. His expression is not smug or dumb like it is most of the time. His eyes are fully open and resting, as he doesn’t control his facial traits. He’s not playing a role, he’s not even trying to hide. He bares his heart in front of that stranger. Harry, she notes.
In front of them, the raven raises his hand and his palm cups Kise’s cheek. The gaze he puts on the blond is tender and full of love and promises. But when his thumb caresses their friend’s cheek, it is to wipe a stray tear rolling down his skin. Because of course, Ryota already knows his answer. He reads Harry’s feelings like an open book. The boy just doesn’t know how to hide his emotions. He displays them for everyone to see, proud of them.
My feelings are what prove to me every day that I’m alive, he has explained one day.
To this day, Kise still doesn’t know why this explanation tasted like regret, back then. He knows that it holds the key to some terrifying truth Harry doesn't want him to uncover. He knows that his first love has suffered beyond what he can imagine.
Yet, it still scares the blond when he realizes how honest the raven is, to the world. He screams his every thought without any fear. He stands strong in front of every obstacle and never tries to jump over them. No, Harry lets himself get hit every single time and destroys them with sheer willpower. He’s someone that Kise has always found intimidatingly amazing.
He doesn’t belong to this world. He doesn’t belong here.
Harry smiles when his gaze crosses his friend’s. He knows that Kise is already understanding.
“I love you too,” he murmures. “But you know as much as I do that my place isn’t here. It isn’t by your side either. You’re a fantastic person and I’m grateful for every moment I spent in your company.”
His thumb doesn’t stop stroking gently Kise’s cheek.
“I know that there is somewhere someone who will find themselves incredibly lucky one day, because they’ll get to spend the rest of their lives with you.”
Both Kise and the Generation of Miracles can hear in the man’s androgynous voice just how sincere he is. He believes every word he speaks. There’s no lying in his speech.
“But you’re not yet the man you’ll be then. You’re still a kid trying to find his place and his boundaries. You’re still preening in every compliment and every bit of attention you can get. You’re not yet confident enough to be by yourself and you need people’s approbation. One day, you’ll get past that. You’ll learn how your own trust overthrows everyone else’s.”
He’s at it again. Kise recognizes that voice of his. Harry’s only two years older than he is, but sometimes, when he talks, the model can’t help but wonder what hardships he has gone through in order to speak like an old soul. During those moments, there’s nothing like two years between them. It’s a whole life separating them. There’s a maturity in Harry that doesn’t match Kise’s young spirit.
That’s why if they love each other, they’ll let go eventually.
“For now, Ryota, there’s only one thing we would achieve successfully by getting together: we would destroy each other. I would get to your throat one too many times, and you would make me doubt enough to destroy the sand castle on which I based my self-esteem.”
Yes. Harry is strong, and Harry displays his emotions for the world to see. But Harry hates himself to the point it is unhealthy. Kise has never understood why or how he has come to that level of self-hatred, but it never fails to break his heart.
He knows that he isn’t the right person for Harry to get past that. He’s definitely not the worst, but he would do more harm than good.
“You’re searching for people’s attention, and I avoid it. You’re self-confident, and I’ve been caught in a spiral of self-harm and destructive habits for too long. We’re not the attracting kind of opposites. We’re the kind that shouldn’t spend too much time with one another.”
With that, the raven gets higher on his toes, his hand going down to the nape of his friend, and pulls him toward his face. As he does so, he puts his lips on Kise’s in a bittersweet touch. It doesn’t last long, but enough for both of them to want more. It’s just unfortunate that they can’t.
“I love you, but you need some more time to mature, and I need an awful lot amount of time to heal. I belong somewhere I can do that in peace, and the fact is that love isn’t an answer to everything. Sometimes, love isn’t enough and is best left untouched.”
The blond can read in Harry’s eyes that the raven is sad it is the first lesson love gives them. So Kise leans forward and kisses his friend’s forehead. It is the only thing he can do without crying. His voice remains stuck in his throat, ready to crack.
When Harry caresses his hand, none of them dares to say goodbye. When he finally spins on his heels and leaves, they don’t look back either. They’re not strong enough for that.