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Tomura stormed into the living room where Mr. Compress sat reading a book. He growled, “Remember how you said that Giran hasn’t been answering your calls lately? I asked Dr. Ujiko to track him down. Apparently Giran got grabbed by Detnerat Company. Have you ever heard of those assholes?”
Mr. Compress set down his book. “They’re a lifestyle support company. What would they want with an underworld information broker?”
“I’m going to find out.” Tomura dialed a number on his phone, then put it on speaker and set it down on the coffee table. As soon as the other side picked up, he shouted, “Hey capitalist scum! Where’s my broker?”
A pause came from the other end. Then Rikiya Yotsubashi said, “Tomura Shigaraki, I presume. I prefer to go by the name…Re-Destro. Yes, my ancestor was the original Metahuman Liberation Army commander. We seek to fulfil his glorious ideals so everyone can live freely.”
“I don’t care,” Tomura said. “Give our broker back before I decay your face.”
Re-Destro chuckled. “I’m afraid not. I commend Giran for deleting his client lists before we grabbed him, but that means we’ll need to resort to cruder methods of extracting information. I wonder how many fingers we’ll sever before he talks?”
Knuckles white, Tomura growled, “Do that and I’ll decay Destro’s diary.”
A pause came from the other end. Re-Destro sounded less certain when he spoke again. “Why would an ant like you possibly have such a magnificent treasure?”
Tomura snorted. “My teacher is All for One. He was terrorizing Japan when your precious Destro was in diapers. He left me a lot of useless old garbage.”
“You dare refer to the founder’s sacred thoughts as garbage?” Re-Destro hissed.
“I dare a lot more than that.” Tomura sneered at his phone. “If you cut off Giran’s finger, then I’ll take a piss on your precious diary. Two fingers, and I shit on it.”
Strangled screaming came from the phone speaker, then the sound of furniture breaking. Hoarsely, Re-Destro said, “I offer your man in exchange for the diary. Then I will hunt you down.”
“Deal. I’ll call you in a week to arrange the trade. Remember, my broker had better be unharmed.” Tomura hung up.
Mr. Compress asked, “Why wait a week to retrieve Giran? We should trade right now.”
Tomura said, “I don’t have Destro’s diary. I doubt that ancient NPC ever even wrote one.”
With only a brief pause, Mr. Compress said, “Ah, I see, a bluff. Then we have a week to figure out how to rescue our comrade and save our own information in case he talks. We’d better form a plan.”
Tomura grunted. “Make it faster. We’re screwed if they ask us for a picture of the diary’s pages. I don’t speak egomaniac well enough to fake it.” His phone rang. He rejected the call. Re-Destro kept calling until he turned the phone off.
Mr. Compress said, “Attacking Deika City would be reckless, and they might use Giran as a hostage. They’ll realize we’d only launch such a suicidal attack if we didn’t have the diary.”
“Then we need to be subtle,” Tomura grumbled. “Not exactly our strong point as a group.”
Dabi pushed open the door. “Hey, losers, guess what? I got offered a job interview with the Metahuman Liberation Army under one of my old fake identities. They’re doing a massive recruitment push. But the money is so good, I’m guessing they expect me to die before they pay it out. I wonder what they’re up to. Of course the great me is too smart to become cannon fodder for their hairbrained scheme.” He stopped and frowned. “Why are you both looking at me like that?”
Tomura shook his head. “It won’t work. His stapled face is too distinctive.”
Mr. Compress said, “No, that’s the beauty of it! People who see Dabi only remember the scars! With a little makeup, he’ll be unrecognizable.”
Tomura said, “Okay, but would even that braindead Destro fanboy hire Dabi?”
“Hey!” Dabi protested. “You hired me!”
“I don’t pay you,” Tomura said.
Dabi rolled his eyes. “Maybe you shouldn’t remind me of that fact when I just got another offer.”
“You don’t have the offer yet, but you will.” Tomura grinned. “You’re going to ace that interview, then sneak in to find Giran.” He reached into Dabi’s pocket and pulled out his phone. “Let’s set up an interview ASAP.”
The job interview initially went well. Tomura lurked out of sight of the camera and glared at Dabi whenever he answered rudely. The MLA interviewer didn’t seem to care. They were clearly taking everyone who applied. Then, right at the end, the interviewer said, “Naturally, we seek out the strongest genetics. We have a special offer employing you at our headquarters when your entire family joins the glorious cause.”
Behind the monitor, Tomura hopped up and down, mouthing, “Take it! Tell them you have a brother!”
Dabi said, “Uh, I’d like the family plan. My little brother and I will join.”
The interviewer asked, “Oh? Only one family member wouldn’t count, unless he has a very strong quirk.”
Dabi growled, “My little brother has a combined fire and ice quirk, is that strong enough for you, prissy?”
Tomura slapped his forehead.
The interviewer said, “Excellent! Yes, such a wonderful ability would allow you to skip straight to headquarters. Please report to Detnerat Tower tomorrow with your younger brother.”
As soon as the call ended, Tomura cried, “You idiot! I was going to pretend to be your brother and sneak in with you! You should have said a Decay quirk.”
“Wouldn’t that have made them suspicious? It’s nothing like my quirk, and everyone knows what you can do, Handjob.”
Tomura scowled, which meant Dabi had a point but he didn’t want to admit it. “Where are we going to get a flammable and ice-cold little brother for you by tomorrow?”
“I don’t know,” Dabi said. Obviously his father’s masterpiece wouldn’t come along on a villain mission, so he didn’t even consider it worth mentioning. “This was your plan. You figure it out.”
Tomura scratched his neck. “Maybe we can put up an advertisement.”
Shouto Todoroki had been trying to get closer to his siblings lately, but he was still struggling to find the right words. He wasn’t good at talking to people. When Natsuo and Fuyumi were around, he turned cold and awkward. Shouto googled, “Practice being a little brother.”
A job advertisement posted on a hiring board popped up. It read: Wanted: little brother for a day. Must have either fire or ice quirk, or better yet both. Will pay in experience.
This sounded perfect! Shouto needed experience being a little brother. He dialed the number.
“How the hell did you get my phone number?” the person on the other end growled.
“I’m calling about the little brother advertisement.”
“Oh, right. That. I’m Tomu—Tom. Just Tom. I’m half-American. Enough about me and my foreign name. Do you have any experience being a little brother?”
Shouto said, “I have three older siblings and only one of them is dead.”
“Did you kill him?” Tom asked, sounding morbidly curious.
“No, he burned himself alive using his quirk. My parents sometimes indicated that they believed I was to blame for his death because I existed.”
“Eh, if you didn’t kill your sibling with your own two hands then you’re still doing better than me,” Tom said. “What’s your general attitude toward little brothering?”
“I’m ride or die.”
“Great! We might need you to die for us. What’s your quirk?”
“I have a fire and ice ability.”
“What, seriously?” Tom laughed with glee. “Fucking perfect! You’re the only person who replied to the ad anyway. You’re hired. I’ll text you our address. Get over here now.”
After hanging up, Shouto stared at his phone with excitement. “My first little brother job,” he whispered. He was determined to do his best.
Dabi’s face itched. He reached up to scratch.
Toga slapped his hand. “Nuh-uh! Not after all the time I spent on your makeup!”
Mr. Compress held up a mirror. “No one will recognize you now.”
Looking at his smooth face with no piercings and white hair, Dabi swallowed. He looked like Touya Todoroki. It felt like staring at a ghost.
In the neighboring room, Twice sobbed, “Giran! We have to save him! I’ll play the little brother. I can use a flamethrower and an ice cube tray.”
Spinner said, “They’d never let you past the front door wearing a mask. Dabi can handle it.”
Dabi coughed and hoped he could handle it.
Mr. Compress held up a suit and tie. “We spent most of our savings purchasing a new business outfit for you.”
Dabi said, “Then you two scram while I get changed.” Yes, surely he could handle anything.
After changing into the suit, Dabi met Tomura at the front door. Tomura had on a very makeshift disguise consisting of shoving his hair up under a hat and taking off his hands. Grinning, Tomura held up a briefcase. “Look what I got for you.” He opened the case to reveal a small Nomu missing the lower half of his body, with shoes on his hands.
Dabi gaped. “The hell is that thing supposed to be? Is it strong? Because it looks weaksauce.”
Tomura grinned. “Johnny here can teleport. If you can find Giran, then Johnny will take you both to safety. I stole him from the doctor.”
Dabi whistled. “Nice. You did something useful for once, Handjob.”
“I even found you a kid to pretend to be your little brother. That’s why I’m in disguise. Now that the rest of the league is out of the way, I’ll introduce you. What’s your fake name again?”
“I’m using the identity Tatsuo Roki.”
Tomura opened the door. “Shouto, come in. This is your new older brother, Tatsuo Roki.”
Shouto waved. “Nice to meet you.”
Dabi slammed the door in his younger brother’s face.
Tomura scowled. “What’s your damage?”
Dabi hissed, “That’s my real little brother!”
“Eh. No wonder he had the right quirk.” Tomura scratched his neck. “What’s the problem? You don’t want to put him in danger?”
“I don’t care what happens to that brat!” Dabi shrieked.
Tomura shrugged. “Then stop whining and do your job.” He opened the door. “We’re ready to leave.”
Shouto smiled. “Good, I was afraid I’d done something wrong and lost the job. Please look after me, big brother.”
The back of Dabi’s collar started to smoke. He patted it out as Tomura shoved them out the door.
The two brothers drove in silence, with Dabi behind the steering wheel. Dabi snuck a sideways glance at his little brother. Had Shouto recognized him? Dabi looked much more like his childhood pictures with white hair. On the other hand, he hadn’t seen his little brother since infanthood. Surely Shouto would have had a big reaction if he’d recognized his dead brother come back from the grave? For that matter, wouldn’t Shouto have recognized Tomura as the villain who’d tried to kill his class a couple times? Tomura’s hair-under-a-hat disguise had been lame. Why was Shouto going along with this?
Shouto asked, “What’s my mission as a little brother?”
Dabi said, “I’m trying to get a job with these eugenics-obsessed creeps who worship strong bloodlines even more than Dad. Then I’m going to find my kidnapped coworker and bust him out. You just need to show off your perfect quirk like the perfect little masterpiece you are.”
Shouto nodded. “That sounds easy. So your dad was obsessed with producing children with strong quirks? So was mine. We have a lot in common.”
Dabi glanced over again, trying to figure out if Shouto knew and was trolling him. A honk drew his eyes back to the road. “Yeah, funny coincidence. Positively hilarious. Look, why are you here anyway?”
Shouto said, “I’m happy to help you out.”
“What a heroic answer.” Dabi sneered. “I’m asking what did Tomu—Tom offer you to go on this suicide mission?”
Shouto said, “I’m being paid in experience.”
Dabi snort-laughed. “Damn, you’re a gullible little weirdo. Here’s a big brother tip: anyone who pays in experience is scamming you.”
“What are you being paid?” Shouto asked innocently.
Dabi’s smile froze as he remembered that he didn’t get a salary either. “None of your business. Why the hell does a hero student want experience running cons?”
Shouto looked down at his hands. “I want to experience what it’s like to have a happy family.”
“And you came to me?”
Shouto smiled. “You seem like you’d be a cool big brother.”
“Did someone drop you on the head as a child?” Had it been Dabi? He tried to remember.
“My father hit my head many times during training.”
“Yeah, well, some of us didn’t have dads who could be bothered to train us after a better replacement came along, so be grateful.” Dabi subsided into grumpy silence.
At Detnerat Tower, Dabi and Shouto were ushered to a white waiting room. Dabi slouched down on the couch while Shouto jittered in his seat.
A knife shot into the room. “Look out, big brother!” Shouto screamed, leaping in front of Dabi and melting the knife. His ice caught the molten drops and pushed them safely away.
Dabi twitched. He could have totally dodged the knife if Shouto hadn’t gotten there first. Probably. Why had Shouto protected him with his own body, unless his little brother knew the truth? Just as Dabi opened his mouth to demand answers, the sound of someone applauding made him realize they were not alone.
Re-Destro stood in the doorway, wearing a striped suit and a green tie. “My apologies for the test. I wanted to see the exceptionally special fire and ice quirk with my own two eyes.”
Dabi slouched further down in the couch and glowered. Now even the MLA freaks were fawning over stupid Shouto and his stupid perfect quirk.
Re-Destro said, “We’ll need to collect a DNA sample from you both to confirm your relation, and the quality of your genetics, of course.” He held out a tray with two cups. “Although after that protective display, I’m already confident that you must be brothers. Such touching family love!”
Dabi spit into the cup willingly, since he already knew what the result would be. A lucky thing that Tomura hadn’t tried to pretend to be his brother. Shouto spat in the cup too without a change of expression. This meant the kid definitely knew the truth, right? He’d been trolling all this time, right?
Re-Destro handed off the cups to an employee outside. Then he sat down in the chair across from the brothers with one leg crossed over the other. Hungry eyes fixated on Shouto, he asked, “How old are you?”
“Sixteen,” Shouto said, shifting nervously.
Re-Destro beamed. “How lovely. In just a few more years, you’ll be ready to marry and have children. Hmm, I wonder what quirk would best suit yours to produce strong offspring?”
Steam rose from Dabi’s collar. He hated how those words made him feel, dredging up suppressed memories of his childhood and his mother.
Shouto quaked in his seat. “I don’t want a quirk marriage.” He glanced over at Dabi.
Dabi looked away. Why was the kid looking to him for help? Dabi didn’t look out for anyone except himself.
Re-Destro chuckled. “I’m sure your older brother will tell you to do what’s best for the family. After all, he’ll be amply rewarded if you make a good match.”
Dabi flinched. He ought to play along for the sake of his mission, but the words refused to leave his mouth. Fire rolled in his blood, itching to burn out from under his skin.
Re-Destro stood up and leaned over Shouto. “You look like a healthy specimen. Open your mouth, let me see your teeth.”
Tears filled the corners of Shouto’s eyes. He tried to flinch away, but Re-Destro grabbed his chin. Shouto whispered, “Big brother, help…”
Fire consumed Dabi’s mind. Fists blazing blue, he launched himself forward, screaming, “Get your filthy hands off my little brother, you creep!”
Re-Destro whirled around, swelling up in size. “I see you need to learn your place!”
Shouto bashed Re-Destro over the head with an icicle from behind. Standing over the villain’s unconscious body, Shouto beamed. “Thank you for distracting him. You figured out my plan! That was some great brotherly teamwork. Now we can take him hostage to get back your friend.”
“Plan? Y-yeah, I meant to do that.” Dabi placed a fire fist at Re-Destro’s throat. He shouted. “Someone get Giran out here or I’ll kill your leader!”
Giran was fortunately delivered with all fingers attached. Laughing so hard he cried, Giran shouted, “You guys came for me! You’re the best!”
“Yeah, yeah, I already knew that. Let’s get out of here before those MLA goons launch the sneak attack I can see them prepping.” Dabi kicked Re-Destro in the balls as revenge for touching his little brother. His steel-toed shoes made a satisfying crunch. Then Dabi grabbed Giran with one hand, Shouto with the other, and activated Johnny’s helmet.
On the other end of the portal, the entire League of Villains threw confetti in the air and shouted, “Surprise!”
Tomura grinned. “We prepared a party to celebrate your successful return.” He gestured at the table of food set up. A streamer overhead read Welcome Back Giran. Tomura had pulled off his hat, letting his hair loose. His usual hands were back on his face.
Shouto gasped. “You’re the League of Villains?”
Dabi put a hand on his shoulder. “I know it must come as a shock to you, little brother. My other identity is Dabi. I joined the League to take revenge on our father.”
Shouto raised a trembling finger. “Could it be that you’re my long lost brother Touya?”
“You didn’t know?” Dabi nearly fell over from shock. “Then that was all method acting?”
Shouto looked around. “Huh. Anyway, I’m glad you’re still alive, big brother.”
“You’re still just going with the flow, you little weirdo? I know Dad is no good, but shouldn’t Fuyumi at least have taught you some survival instinct and common sense?” Dabi mussed Shouto’s hair. “Dammit, this is why you clearly need a big brother.” After seeing Re-Destro creep on Shouto for his quirk, Dabi had trouble feeling jealous of his little brother any longer. His desire to see Shouto suffer had evaporated. Somehow Dabi had gotten attached to the little weirdo. “Come on, let’s party.”
“I should probably get home before it’s too late,” Shouto said. “I’m staying with Dad this weekend.” The look on his face made it clear he didn’t actually want to go.
“I’m a big brother, I’m here to be a bad influence.” Dabi dragged Shouto toward the ancient karaoke machine. “I’ll teach you how to dance.”
Dr. Ujiko burst into the room, shouting, “Give me back Johnny!”
“Relax, old man!” Twice held up a bottle to the doctor’s lips, forcing him to drink. “We’re having a party.”
Toga put on rock music. The League of Villains fell upon the food and alcohol, partying until they all passed out.
When Shouto returned home, he found Endeavor and Hawks sitting at the kitchen table in discussion. Hawks said, “If only we could figure out the location and plans of the League of Villains—”
Shouto interrupted, “I know where they are. I just came back from a party with the entire League of Villains, including their doctor and information broker. They got super-drunk and told me all about their plans. We also shared mutual information about our past traumas. Would you like me to write up what I remember?”
Hawks choked.
Endeavor demanded, “Shouto, is this a joke? Why on earth would you be out drinking with the League of Villains?”
Shouto said, “No, I wasn’t drinking. Big brother wouldn’t let me have any alcohol because I’m underage, even though Toga got wasted with everyone else.”
“You call a villain big brother?” Endeavor asked, sounding even more upset.
“I mean my real older brother, Touya Todoroki.” Shouto looked between the shocked heroes. “He’s Dabi. You didn’t know? Funny, big brother acted like I was an idiot for not realizing so I thought I must have missed something. But it turns out other people didn’t know either.”
In a shaky voice, Hawks asked, “Do you have any other secret connections to villains that you’d like to share?”
Shouto said, “I also know the location of the Metahuman Liberation Army. I knocked their leader unconscious. You could arrest him before he wakes up.”
Hawks laughed hysterically. “Ah, yes, you’re joking! Good one! You have a great poker face.”
“I have pictures if you don’t believe me.” Shouto held up his phone, scrolling through images of the League of Villain’s party: Mr. Compress doing magic tricks, Twice sticking straws up his nose, Spinner singing karaoke, Tomura stacking onion rings on the fingers of his many dead hands, and Dabi dancing on the table. He finished with an image of an unconscious Re-Destro.
“I would know that terrible dancing anywhere,” Endeavor whispered, staring at the white-haired Dabi. “Touya…”
Hawks’ laughter abruptly cut off. “Excuse me, I need to make some calls and arrest the leader of the MLA.” He staggered off, mumbling, “Decades of relentless training and I’m not as good a spy as a teenager…I need a vacation…”
OMAKE TIME!
Omake: Breaking the Fourth Wall as Usual
Dabi: I suppose I lose the big brother contest to Tomura again.
Author: Actually, considering Tomura’s last big brother AU was “Everything Returns to Dust”…congratulations, you beat him in this round.
Dabi: Really? Whoa! So this is what it feels like to be number one!
Author: Haha, no. Tensei took first place with “The Big Brother Support Forum.” You’re a very distant second.
#
Omake: Poor Literacy
Re-Destro: I knew you two were brothers when I saw your little brother jump in front of a knife for you. Brothers have the instinct to protect each other. I think it’s called the Cain Instinct.
Dabi: (Strangling Shouto) I can tell you’re an only child.
#
Omake: DNA Test Results (Not Canon Compliant)
Re-Destro: You’re a fraud! According to our DNA test, you two brothers are unrelated.
Dabi: How the hell is that even possible? Even if Mom was a tramp, we’d at least be half-brothers!
Re-Destro: For some reason you registered as being related to the funny legless creature in your briefcase.
Dabi: …This is because I’m basically a Nomu. The doctor screwed with my DNA.
Shouto: I guess you’re not my big brother after all.
Dabi: Nooooooooooo! I’m the real Touya Todoroki! I have a dance routine to prove it!
#
Omake: Still Salty Over the Hosu Incident
Hawks: Why did you throw a party with the League of Villains instead of fighting them?
Shouto: Oh, now I’m allowed to fight villains? Funny, when my friends and I defeated Stain everyone was calling it vigilantism. I thought all you adults preferred it when I ignored any villainy happening live before my eyes.
#
Omake: The Ending Where the League of Villains Doesn’t Leave Before the Heroes Arrive
Giran: You came to save me! You’re all great. I’m glad I defended the information about your location with my life.
Tomura: Is that the sound of heroes breaking in?
Dabi: Oops, maybe we shouldn’t have let my hero student little brother know our location.
Tomura: Your brother is a hero student?
Dabi: I thought you knew that! You’ve fought him before!
Tomura: I can’t be expected to remember the face of every child I’ve tried to murder.
Dabi: He’s got a giant scar!
Giran: You’re all morons, I’m grabbing Johnny and leaving.