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Hakuryuu wakes suddenly from a dreamless sleep, both eyes snapping open. He blinks twice, scanning his chambers for anything out of place, and sits up when he finds nothing. A few stray insects are still singing outside. The quiet of the night is undisturbed by anything else.
Yet the hair on the back of Hakuryuu’s neck stands on end.
Taking care not to make a sound, he slips out of his bed and creeps across the room to the door leading outside. It's locked. He takes the key from around his neck, turning it slowly in the lock, then giving a gentle push.
Under normal circumstances, there would be guards posted outside the Emperor's private chambers at all hours of the day and night. Hakuryuu sees little point in expending energy just to make puppets stand guard. Besides, he thinks, Judar is the only one he'd trust with something like that - and he isn't about to ask Judar to play the part of his bodyguard. Hakuryuu slinks down the empty hallway.
His feet carry him to Judar’s door.
He places a hand on the wood and immediately knows, deep in his gut, that something’s wrong.
There's no lock blocking his way, so Hakuryuu trusts his instincts and shoves the door wide open, striding into the room like it isn't the middle of the night, like he's here on anything but a bad premonition. Judar’s bed is empty - for a second, Hakuryuu’s throat closes and he feels the power of both Belial and Zagan rippling just beneath his skin. Then his eyes catch on a slight bit of movement in the far corner of the room, and the choking panic flushes out of him.
Judar is sitting on the floor, half-wrapped in the curtains, his hair falling out of its braid and his clothes in disarray. He's curled into a ball. Hakuryuu takes a tentative step towards him; Judar’s head snaps up to look at him.
For the first time since they'd met, Judar’s makeup is smudged. The black kohl he lines his eyes with so carefully has gone blurry, nearly reaching his cheekbones. There's no tint on his lips.
Hakuryuu approaches him in measured steps, taking care not to rush too close too fast despite what his body screams at him. Judar flinches but doesn't pull away. Dropping to a crouch before him, Hakuryuu lets the moonlight from the window cover him completely, guessing that Judar will want to be able to see him well. All the while, Judar never takes his eyes off Hakuryuu.
"Can't sleep?" Judar asks, his voice a ghost of its usual teasing lilt.
"No," Hakuryuu says softly. "And you?"
"Oh, I'm having a great night. Just the best." He drags his face into a grin and gives a thumbs-up with one hand. There's kohl smudged across the back of it. Hakuryuu considers for a beat, not wanting to push Judar into being open if he can't right now.
"If it's so much fun here, I suppose I'd better join you," he tries. Judar drops the grin and shrugs.
"Sure. Plenty of room on the floor. Comfiest spot in the palace, I'll tell you that much."
He pats the spot next to him, away from the tangled curtains. Hakuryuu shifts to sit beside Judar so their shoulders almost touch - but not quite.
"So," Judar says after a long pause, "do you, uh... come here often?"
Hakuryuu looks blankly at him. "Are you serious?"
"Ugh, geez, forgive me for being funny." With an almighty huff, Judar uncurls just a bit, shuffling his feet forwards so his knees aren't quite pressed into his chest anymore. "What I meant was that I didn't realize you haunted this place at night."
"Usually, I wouldn't." It's true; even when he's trying to match Judar’s feeble joking tone, Hakuryuu can't bring himself to lie to him.
"Huh. Guess tonight is just special. Or especially cursed. Or something."
"I guess so, yes." Hakuryuu takes a breath, and a leap of faith. "Some nights just seem to be. At least now I don't have to explain to the guards that it's normal to scream in your sleep sometimes."
Judar’s eyes slide to him. "Those guards were nosy as hell anyway. I'm glad we got rid of them."
"Mmm. We don't need them anymore." Leaning to his side, Hakuryuu lets his good arm brush against Judar ever so faintly. A moment later, Judar meets him halfway, resting against Hakuryuu. The end of Hakuryuu’s sentence - because we have each other - goes unspoken, but he has a feeling Judar hears it anyway.
There's a long pause after that. Hakuryuu watches the crescent moon outside, feeling Judar’s eyes on him most of the time. His heartbeat's long since calmed down, and he knows why he woke up now; he's so attuned to Judar that Judar’s distress had set off ripples in the subliminal connection they share. It should be worrying that anyone can affect him like this, but Hakuryuu is far from worried. This is Judar. He knows Judar.
"Y'know, I'm a quieter sleeper than you," Judar finally says.
"You are?" Hakuryuu asks.
"Yep. I never scream myself or anyone else awake - the old guys in masks hated that. Said it made me hard to manage or something." His buried anger at Al-thamen is clear as day to Hakuryuu even in a flippant remark like that. Judar moves on too quickly for Hakuryuu to linger on the thought. "I just get stuck between being awake and asleep. Like being strapped to an operating table."
Hakuryuu has never been more glad to have slaughtered Gyokuen.
"Which makes the floor a pretty good alternative," he reasons. Judar nods.
"Exactly."
There's another pause, though the silence is far from uncomfortable. Judar’s now leaning against Hakuryuu in earnest, so Hakuryuu has to support both of them on his wooden arm. He doesn't mind; Judar’s skin is pleasantly warm against his own, a reminder that they're both alive and together. Their enemies can't touch them like this. Hakuryuu will make sure their enemies never touch them again at all.
Letting his eyes drift away from the window and around the room, Hakuryuu notices for the first time that the sheets are arranged around one of Judar’s pillows to make it look like there's still someone in the bed. An old habit, he supposes. He thinks about how he'd known instantly that that wasn't Judar. He looks at Judar beside him. Then, making up his mind, he gives him a little nudge.
"I do have one suggestion for a better place to be," he says. Judar tilts his head to look at Hakuryuu.
"Yeah? Where's that?"
"My bed."
Judar’s eyebrows fly up. "Woah. So I'm not allowed to make a flirty joke, but you can straight-up proposition me? Damn, Hakuryuu-"
"No, that's not what I meant!" Despite himself, Hakuryuu feels his cheeks heat up. Yes, he supposes, it did sound like he was trying to imply something like that. He closes his eyes, counts to three in his head, and tries again.
"I just... we're both awake anyway, we might as well stay somewhere more comfortable."
"What's wrong with the floor?"
"Judar."
"Okay, fine." Judar’s exaggerated eye-roll feels much more genuine now. His eyes, Hakuryuu notes, have lost the terrible hollow note they'd had when Hakuryuu had found him.
"I promise my room is fully clear of vegetables," Hakuryuu tries, and Judar’s answering snort feels like a victory in and of itself
"It better be. I'm not dealing with any fucking veggies tonight, that's for sure."
Hakuryuu offers Judar a hand, and they both get up. Then Judar grabs onto his arm, draping himself over Hakuryuu’s shoulder like a fainting maiden.
"Oh my, the Emperor himself has bidden me to his bedchamber, whatever shall I do?" He puts the back of his free hand against his forehead and affects a thin, high-pitched voice, reminiscent of one he sometimes uses to tease Kougyoku. Hakuryuu is torn between telling him to shut up and playing along. He settles for raising an eyebrow.
"Am I to become part of your harem then, my lord? Oh, what will my family say?" Judar blinks rapidly in an overblown attempt at batting his eyelashes, and Hakuryuu can't fight the wry smile that rises to his lips.
"They won't have much to say if you never actually make it to the Emperor's chambers," says Hakuryuu.
"Wow, you really are eager to get me into your bed." Judar winks. Hakuryuu starts walking out of the room, leaving Judar to float beside him, still holding his arm.
It takes all of three seconds for Judar to claim a side of the bed once he's through the door. Hakuryuu lets him, enjoying the way Judar throws himself on the pillows without caring about getting eyeliner on them. Hakuryuu hasn't quite settled in to a particular side of the bed anyway; it feels right that Judar should get one half and he should get the other. He doesn't let himself think about why.
Once Judar’s done rolling around and talking about how big this bed is, Hakuryuu joins him, propping a pillow against the headboard and sitting so he's facing Judar.
"So we definitely should've done this sooner, right?" Judar says. He must see the way Hakuryuu’s heart rate picks up, because he quickly adds: "The violent-coup bit."
"Definitely," Hakuryuu agrees.
"I mean, I did ask you to join me before, but somebody balked at the whole curse-your-destiny thing."
"Have you ever considered," Hakuryuu says, his tone light, "that maybe the way you phrase things is a little... intense?"
Judar stares at him. Then he laughs, smacking Hakuryuu’s arm.
"Oh, that's rich coming from the most intense person in any kingdom I've ever been to." Hakuryuu makes a face and Judar laughs harder. "Seriously! You could give any of Sinbad's generals a run for their money, even that dragon guy, Draggy or whatever."
"Draggy."
"Not the point."
"So you think I'm intense?" Hakuryuu asks.
"I mean, yeah," says Judar. "Did you think I was gonna throw in my lot with a king who's super chill?"
"Fair point." Hakuryuu’s eyes drift towards Judar’s uncharacteristically messy hair. His fingers itch to comb through it; Judar catches him looking and rakes his own hand through it, letting it come completely undone and setting his hair ribbon on the bed.
"Ugh, you could've told me I looked like shit," he grumbles, and Hakuryuu frowns.
"You don't. You just - here, let me." He gently disentangles Judar’s hand and reaches into a drawer in his bedside table for a comb. Much to his surprise, Judar doesn't resist at all, letting Hakuryuu separate his hair into long strands and then carefully comb the tangles from it.
"You know, it's whatever," Judar says while Hakuryuu works on his hair. "Maybe if you'd said yes earlier, we would've just both gotten ourselves killed. And then I'd never have made it to your bedroom."
Hakuryuu sighs. "Maybe."
It's something he's thought about a lot. If he'd agreed to partner up with Judar sooner, Gyokuen might have been dead much faster, and their plans would be closer to completion right now. Then again, maybe Judar has a point, and they would've just exhausted their strength fighting an impossible war. Hakuryuu’s fingers snag on a tangle. He refocuses on the present moment, letting the what-ifs fade to the back of his mind for now.
"You probably do this a lot," Judar says jokingly.
"Overthrow corrupt rulers and control the minds of their followers?" Hakuryuu returns. Judar snorts.
"That too, but I meant this." He gestures to his hair. "Gotta admit, I never thought you had much game, but-"
"Careful, Judar. Remember who's holding your hair right now."
Judar throws his hands up in a surrendering motion. "Okay, yikes. I just meant that for someone who got brutally rejected by the first girl he really liked-"
Hakuryuu gives a tug, and Judar yelps.
"Bold words from the magi who, if I can remind you, just finished bringing up the numerous times I shot him down in the past."
Judar huffs, crossing his arms. "Touché. Also not the same thing, I wasn't asking you out."
"Really? I could've sworn-"
"Oh, shut up."
Hakuryuu laughs softly.
It seems that Judar is done teasing him, for now at least, so Hakuryuu can focus on his hair. For how long it is, it's in very good condition - Judar clearly looks after it. Hakuryuu already knew that, but it’s something else to run his fingers through the silky strands and feel them against his skin. He suppresses a shiver. Now is not the time to think about how beautiful he finds Judar.
The process of sorting Judar’s hair out is calming, and not just for Judar. Tension ebbs out of Hakuryuu’s frame the longer he spends letting the comb glide through Judar’s inky black locks. Judar hums.
“You’re taking ages,” he says, not impatiently.
“If I went any faster, you’d complain that I was rushing.” Hakuryuu tries it once to demonstrate. Judar swats at him.
“Fine, okay, take your time.” Judar drums his fingers on his leg. “I’d almost think you were enjoying this.”
“And you could fool me into thinking you’ve never sat still before in your life,” says Hakuryuu, which makes Judar cough out a laugh.
“I’m amazing at sitting still.”
“Sure you are.” Hakuryuu sets the comb aside and picks up the discarded hair ribbon. “You just hide that particular skill so well that no one will ever see it.”
Judar glances over his shoulder. “When did you learn to snipe back at me, anyway?”
“I think it’s a side effect of falling.”
There’s a beat, and then Judar’s laughing in earnest. He twists to fully face Hakuryuu, finishing off his braid with his signature air bubbles on his own. The two of them look at each other; whatever Judar searches for on Hakuryuu’s face, he seems to find it, because he sits upright after a moment. Hakuryuu watches his movement, feeling warmth in his chest at the sight of Judar laughing like this.
“I told you it would be worth it,” Judar says in a tone Hakuryuu can’t quite decipher.
“You did,” says Hakuryuu. Judar affects a serious expression and covers the left side of his face with one hand, leaving just enough room for his eye to peek out.
“Judar, you were so right, I should’ve listened to you from the start because you’re always right, and you’re so smart,” he says in his best impression of Hakuryuu. Or at least, that’s what Hakuryuu assumes he’s doing. The posture and expression are a decent enough approximation, but the voice?
“I don’t sound anything like that,” he says. Judar clears his throat and tries again.
“Oh Judar, you had the right idea all along. If I’d only fallen when you first asked me to, I could’ve killed my bitch of a mother ages ago.”
Hakuryuu nods, a smile fighting its way onto his face. “Yes, much better.”
Judar drops the hand from his face. “Well?”
It’s pretty clear that he wants Hakuryuu to parrot the words back at him. Hakuryuu chooses to misinterpret his question as an invitation to impersonate Judar instead. He adjusts the fabric of his top so it shows his midriff, then rests his elbow on his leg and his head in his hand.
“Wow, Hakuryuu, you’re so cool and fun these days. Come on, let’s go set something on fire and call it self-care,” he drawls, hearing how unlike Judar his voice sounds but resisting the urge to do anything about it. Judar’s jaw drops.
“What.” Judar gestures at Hakuryuu. “Is that supposed to be me?”
Hakuryuu sighs dramatically, still keeping the impression up. “Yeah. Duh.”
“That does not suit you,” Judar says. He looks like he’s somewhere between offended and very, very amused. Hakuryuu drops the act - and the hem of his shirt. Judar pouts.
“I didn’t mind that part,” he says, and Hakuryuu rolls his eyes fondly.
They stay up into the dead of night, at which point Judar yawns and declares that he's going to get comfortable now. Hakuryuu gets under the covers as well, settling in facing Judar. The light outside has grown fainter with the moon climbing higher in the sky. It glints off the red of Judar’s irises.
Hakuryuu thinks about the awful emptiness behind those same eyes earlier, when he'd come into Judar’s room guided only by an invisible compulsion. He reminds himself that their plans are going to lead to the downfall of everyone who's ever made Judar feel that way.
At the back of his mind, a small voice wonders whether even that will be enough to bring either of them peace when they sleep.
"You're thinking really loudly," Judar whispers.
"I don't know how to think any more quietly," Hakuryuu whispers back. Judar snickers.
"Try just not thinking."
Ah, if only.
"Is that what you do?" Hakuryuu asks. He doesn't mean it as a taunt, but Judar huffs, clearly taking it as one.
" No . I choose to tell my thoughts to get lost if I don't feel like dealing with them."
There's no point in asking whether that works - Hakuryuu already knows it doesn't. He chews his lip. Judar’s eyes go to his mouth, lingering there for what feels like a very long second.
"Go on," says Judar, looking back up. "Whatever you're thinking about as hard as you can, give it the finger."
Slowly, Hakuryuu brings up a hand and flips Judar off. It takes him a second to get it, and when he does, he kicks Hakuryuu’s shin. Hakuryuu quirks an eyebrow, and Judar sighs.
"Yeah, fine, I had that one coming."
"I was being serious," Hakuryuu admits. "You're… I was thinking about before."
"Ugh."
"I know, but-"
Judar puts a hand on Hakuryuu’s shoulder. "I'm only going to say this once, because mushy shit is not my thing. The dream sucked, but I've had worse. It was stupidly real right up until I could move my body again. And yeah, you showed up about ten seconds after I made it to the floor."
"Oh," is all Hakuryuu can think to say. He wants to offer some kind of comfort, but words are not his strong suit, and he doesn't get the feeling Judar wants anything like sympathy. Whenever Hakuryuu has his worst nightmares - the ones about the fire, or about his own dismemberment, or about the prospect of Judar being killed before his eyes - the only thing he wants is to stare at the horizon until his vision goes fuzzy and the images in his head fade. Maybe Judar’s the same.
"Now we never have to talk about it again. Right?"
"Right."
Judar scoots closer to Hakuryuu. "Good," he says. "I mean, it's pretty lame that we're finally in the same bed, and all we're doing is talking about my shit dream."
Finally?
"You're clearly very skilled at setting a mood," Hakuryuu says lightly as his mind spins off on the implications of Judar’s use of finally.
"Yeah, it's one of my talents."
As if to prove his point, Judar then proceeds to very deliberately let his eyes travel back to Hakuryuu’s lips. He shuffles closer again. Despite everything - the time of night, the way they'd gotten to where they are, the things Judar has shared - Hakuryuu still feels his hands become less steady at the idea that Judar wants him like this. He brushes some of Judar’s hair back gently, ignoring the tremor in his own fingers.
Judar makes eye contact and bites his lip. Now it's Hakuryuu’s turn to glance at his mouth, thinking about the last time they'd kissed. That just brings up the mental image of Judar on his knees-
Hakuryuu leans in and draws Judar into a slow, deep kiss.
Judar grabs Hakuryuu’s arm, holding on tightly as he meets Hakuryuu halfway on all counts. When Hakuryuu presses closer, Judar immediately mirrors the motion; when he draws back to nip Judar’s lower lip, Judar lets his nails just graze against Hakuryuu’s skin. Hakuryuu slips his tongue into Judar’s mouth, and Judar groans. The sound sends a buzz through Hakuryuu.
When they break apart, they're both breathing hard. It takes Hakuryuu a beat to reactivate his thoughts. Judar, for his part, looks like he's feeling just as lost in the moment as Hakuryuu is.
"Again," Judar murmurs. All Hakuryuu can do is comply.
The second kiss is followed by a third, then a fourth, and then Hakuryuu has to pull himself away from Judar’s addictive mouth. His mind feels like it's still unable to keep up with this new development in their relationship. Judar looks back at him, the red rings around his pupils now much smaller in comparison to the black that's swallowing them up.
"We should sleep," Hakuryuu says with no conviction.
"Or not," Judar says. "If I'd known that talking about dreams counts as foreplay for you, I would've done it ages ago."
"You're shameless."
"You like it."
Hakuryuu can't deny it, so he changes the subject. "It's late," he says. "We've got a lot to do tomorrow."
"I could…" Judar lets his sentence trail off, and his hand trail down to Hakuryuu’s hip. He bites his lip again. Hakuryuu can't quite hide the way the thought affects him.
"Not tonight," he forces himself to say. Judar makes a displeased sound.
"But why not? I want to. And I know you want me too."
Yes, Hakuryuu thinks. He leans over to whisper directly into Judar’s ear, saying: "Because I don't want to rush. Tomorrow night I'll be able to really take my time."
If the shiver that goes through Judar is any indication, Judar likes that idea too.
"I'm going to hold you to that," he says. Hakuryuu kisses him again. This time, he pulls away before he can deepen the kiss enough to dissolve his self-control.
"I know," says Hakuryuu. He moves backwards reluctantly, knowing damn well that staying where he is will only make it too tempting to take advantage of Judar’s offer.
In spite of how badly he wants to go back on his own decision, Hakuryuu’s eyelids grow heavy almost right away. He watches Judar try to blink back the sleep. After a moment, Judar gives up, letting his eyes close. He stays on his side, facing Hakuryuu.
"Going to stare at me all night?" Judar mumbles. Hakuryuu cards a hand through Judar’s hair.
"Probably," he says.
"Mmmkay." Judar leans into Hakuryuu’s touch. "Enjoy the view."
That nearly makes Hakuryuu laugh. He keeps playing with Judar’s hair until Judar’s breathing evens out, making sure that this time, no nightmares will plague him. After that, Hakuryuu can't fight off his own need to sleep any longer. His consciousness slips away with his fingers still against the back of Judar’s neck.