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kaveh is used to it by now
he’s used to alhaitham accidentally using his perfume, he’s used to alhaitham accidentally taking his favorite pen with him, he’s used to alhaitham accidentally keeping his little things like his hair tie, his pins, even his little bracelets or necklaces that he loves to wear.
that is exactly why when he couldn’t find his spare keys, he blamed alhaitham for it.
after he finished his works, he got out of the akademiya feeling mad and furious as he stomped his way out. people stared at him walking with flames behind him. they whispered and wondered why the architect are acting that certain way.
kaveh noticed his spare keys, with a cute and fluffy lion keychain attached to it, is missing from his bag, missing from it’s usual spot. he immediately thought of haitham and tried to find him in the akademiya but failed, thus leading him to leave the place feeling furious.
‘he will be home, i’m sure he’s not going out’
he tried to calm himself down, he believed that his roommate is still home, because if he weren’t in the akademiya where else would he be except home, right?
wrong.
kaveh tried opening the door to their house but it doesn’t even budge, he tried the second time, this time twisting and pushing even harder, it still won’t budge. he was anxious, sweating, people stared at him, of course they will, he looks like he’s trying to rob the house in some way.
after a lot more than a few times of twisting the door handle and a few more stares from his neighbors, he decided to stop. he let out a big sigh and decided to go somewhere else, trying to find that roommate of his.
he checked the cafe near their house, none.
he checked the undergound market, none.
lastly, he checked their go-to bar, the results are the same.
he couldn’t find alhaitham anywhere. feeling defeated, he decided to let himself loose with a few drinks.
he weren’t actually thinking of being homeless for the next few days, but the thought might become true now that alhaitham is nowhere to be found and he doesn’t have a house.
“the usual?” the bartender gave him a warm smile, as kaveh always goes to this same bar and orders the same thing, he nodded as he sighed.
the bartender asked if anything was wrong, kaveh answered saying there’s nothing wrong, although his face says otherwise, the bartender didnt say anything else.
so many thoughts popping into his head, as he started drinking glass by glass, his thoughts got much bigger and heavier.
maybe haitham put his keys away
maybe haitham was tired of him
maybe haitham didnt want him to come back so he took his keys and burned them and decided to move houses so he doesn’t know
kaveh groans, as he lowers his head in his hands, he knew these thoughts and mindsets of him are wrong, it doesn’t even sound real, he knew how bad he is overthinking it and everything else. but he couldn’t help it, he just kept feeling worried and guilty of himself
he’s completely drunk, he’s in a quiet state of drunk
all of his mistakes started appearing in his mind
when he accidentally spilled his coffee on one of alhaitham’s book, making him get mad, he apologized for it, and even bought him a new copy, but the guilt is still there
when he stayed up all night doing projects, disturbing alhaitham with his sleep, which haitham often gets really annoyed with him and once he even went through the trouble of staying with him in his room until he finishes his project, it makes him feel guilt and pressured
when he didn’t mean to hurt alhaitham’s feelings by saying he regretted agreeing to living under the same roof with him
his eyes widened as he jumped from the chair. the bartender flinched in surprised and asked if he’s okay but kaveh cannot hear him.
thats it
i said i regretted living in the same house as him
kaveh groans as loud as he can as he slammed the table with his hands and bury his face on his hands. people in the bar thought he was going insane.
kaveh started messing with his hair and scratching his scalp very hardly. he could feel his face burning because of the alcohol, as he grabbed another bottle and chugged it all the way in.
the bartender was speechless as he tried to stop him but failed to do so, drinking that much alcohol and such a fast speed is very unhealthy, even kaveh knows this.
but he just couldn’t find something else to express his feelings, this is the only way where he can cope with all the stress and anxiety and guilt in his body.
which is by making himself drunk so he could run away from reality and forget everything that’s been troubling him.
as his face feels hot and tears started storming out of his eyes, he was bawling. it wasn’t a loud cry, it was a “so many tears but quite little sound” cry.
why did i say that?
why did i do that?
why am i even accepted by him?
he didn’t mean what he said, it was in the middle of a heated argument, hell he doesn’t even remember what they were debating about, the words just accidentally slipped out, he didn’t mean it, he’s sorry for it, he felt bad for it, but he just couldn’t bring himself up to apologize to alhaitham
because what he can remember is that after he said those words, alhaitham stared at him with the most “no-expression” face he’d ever seen. before he could say anything and explain himself out of the situation, alhaitham already left the house.
he sniffed and sobs, couldn’t really care less about the panicking bartender trying to comfort him, it doesn’t work, nothing works anymore.
it’s been 8 hours since he tried finding alhaitham. it’s been 8 hours. and he still couldn’t find him.
“please.. don’t leave me..” he slammed his head on the table, the bartender panicked even more, but kaveh didnt really catch what he said.
he realized he doesn’t have a house
he realized he couldn’t return
he realized he lost his last and only home
as tears started falling more and more, his face became more red and even his nose is running. all of the pent up feelings are being let out right now, he is most definitely drunk and cannot remember anything.
”i’m sorry, haitham, i’m sorry, please.. please don’t leave me alone, haitham, i’m sorry, please..”
his eyes cannot keep up with him as it started shutting off.
“sir, i’ll be taking him”
he felt warm hands on his shoulders, he tried opening his eyes but he failed, all he could see was a gray strand of hair before it shuts off again.
this person smells nice.
the bartender said something about kaveh drinking too much alcohol and he’s thankful the person finally came to get him back
“i apologize for that”
this person has a really nice voice
kaveh forces his eyes open as he felt arms around his back and holding his thighs. he is being held bridal style.
if he weren’t drunk he would be screaming and embarrassed as hell right now.
but somehow this person feels warm and familiar hence making him feel comfortable being held like this, he couldn’t care what way he is being held, if it’s by this person he’d never complain.
as he slowly opens his eyes, he is met by an under jawline, and he is being carried away from the bar, he stared at this person’s face, he’s definitely seen him before.
kaveh traced his finger on the person’s jawline. as his eyes half open he said, “haha, pretty boy” he giggles to himself with tears still falling down his eyes.
alhaitham, who is the person carrying him bridal style to their home, is currently having an internal screaming. he was mad, and tired, and a little bit embarrassed.
he went home to find kaveh nowhere to be found, so of course him being him, he knows kaveh would be at the bar, chugging down alcohol as much and as many as he wants.
but he was mad at how kaveh literally aren’t very honest with his own feelings, he’s not a straightforward person and would even lie for anyone if the truth hurts for them.
he’s very kind, too kind.
haitham hated that side of him.
as he had overheard kaveh’s mumbling about apologizing to him in the bar, he was quite mad.
why wouldn’t he tell him anything?
why wouldn’t he talk it out with him?
why is he not being honest with himself?
and right now all of those feelings are being pushed away with his roommate on his arms giggling and chuckling at himself as he slowly touched alhaitham’s neck, jawline, cheeks and nose.
alhaitham sighed. “stop that kaveh, you’re drunk” he’s hoping kaveh is drunk enough so he wouldn’t remember any of this because it could be awkward for him.
“that’s fine that’s what i want” kaveh smiled weakly, as haitham was walking to their house, he glanced at kaveh who still has tears storming out his eyes. alhaitham tried his best to ignore how messed up yet very pretty he looks right now. it’s making him feel things.
kaveh’s face red and with tears marks and his nose still a bit running. people would find him ugly like this, but alhaitham is glad he looks like this. he’s glad he could let his feelings out in the open.
“pretty boy, have you.. seen my keys?” kaveh asked, he’s pinching and squishing alhaitham’s cheek. alhaitham then realized what had happened.
“you see my.. uh.. roommate? or ex best friend? is that what you call them?” kaveh started mumbling as he chuckled to himself, alhaitham quietly listens to him and the soft sounds of his footsteps walking to their home.
“he probably hates me, so i don’t have a house to live in right now” kaveh sighs as he wiped a bit of tears on his cheeks. “why is that” alhaitham asked in the most “not a question” tone.
kaveh stared at him for a few seconds before he sighs. “because i annoy him, because im a burden to him, because-“ “you’re not” haitham cuts him off.
after what seems like a few minutes they finally arrived home.
“how would you know!” kaveh yells as he furrowed his eyebrows, he’s a mad drunk now. as he started moving around trying to get out of haitham’s arms. but he couldn’t, alhaitham held him tighter so he won’t get off.
“what the? get me-“ as kaveh continued he realized they are in front of their house. alhaitham swiftly took out the keys from his pocket, revealing kaveh’s dearest spare key with the lion keychain on it.
kaveh eyes widened. “that’s my..” as alhaitham ignored him and held all his weight in one hand while the other smoothly unlocked the door.
they both goes in the house, with kaveh still being held by alhaitham. kaveh felt weak, he realized the person holding him is his one and only roommate.
kaveh felt his face burning as tears started falling down his eyes again. alhaitham didn’t know what to say nor do, so he held him closer to his chest. kaveh started sobbing as he suddenly switched positions.
his legs are wrapping around alhaitham’s waist and his arms around his neck, alhaitham was taken aback by the sudden position as he slowly held his back and legs.
kaveh was mumbling words in alhaitham’s neck.
“i’m sorry, i missed you alhaitham..”
he whispered. haitham sighed as he warmly rubbed kaveh’s back. the simple yet comforting touch burned the skin around his back. kaveh sniffed as he could smell haitham’s scent.
a scent could never feel more like home.
“yeah i know, kaveh”
alhaitham rested his head on kaveh’s, he had never done this to anyone before, hell he never even got this close to anyone before.
alhaitham started walking slowly to kaveh’s room. “i’m sorry, i thought you took my keys and burned them and left me alone and i got upset when i can’t find you anywhere and i got scared” kaveh started sniffing, trying his best to hold the rest of his tears.
haitham can still smell the alcohol scent on him. “i’m the one who should’ve apologized, i lost my keys so i took your spare keys without telling you before, i couldn’t find you so i left with them, sorry” haitham confessed.
he slowly tried to put kaveh down on his bed but kaveh’s grip is getting tighter around his neck. “don’t wanna..” he whispered. alhaitham glanced at him, it’s like he’s glued to him.
alhaitham sat down on kaveh’s bed while kaveh is still on his lap hugging his arms and legs around alhaitham’s body.
“you’re really drunk, you should go take a shower and i’ll make you soup” haitham slowly caressed kaveh’s hair. it was soft, it was not the first time he touched his hair, although the first ones were just abruptly and accidentally simple touches, this is the first time he caressed it and felt how soft it is.
his hair smells like strawberries.
alhaitham has never done any of this, he felt a bit embarrassed, thinking of what will happen if kaveh remembered everything.
“don’t wanna… stay with me, please”
haitham rubbed tiny circles on kaveh’s back as his other hand slowly took kaveh’s hair tie and pins off and he put them on the desk near his bed, knowing damn well kaveh disliked losing his ties and pins.
though, most of the time it was alhaitham’s fault, he took some of them without kaveh knowing, so when he’s in public and really needed a tie so his long hair won’t get in the way, alhaitham could give it to him.
he slowly brushed kaveh’s hair with his fingers, untangling some knots he found, kaveh’s face was burning. for the first time he’d ever been taken care of like this, for the first time he’d ever felt someone’s fingers warmly brushing his hair, for the first time his stoic but not so emotionless roommate ever did this to him.
although he was drunk, he knew he was a mess whenever haitham is around.
“change your clothes, you reek alcohol” alhaitham said, he doesn’t say it that caringly, he just commanded kaveh to change clothes because he smells of alcohol.
but the way alhaitham slowly took off his cape, and shoes, as he still held him gently in his arms, is making kaveh feel like he could scream as loud as he can right now.
“wait” alhaitham stated as he put kaveh down. kaveh frowned, the feeling of losing the warmth the felt before made him a bit disappointed.
“don’t look so sad now, you’re so clingy when you’re drunk”
alhaitham said as he went to kaveh’s closet and took his sleepwear. kaveh eyed him as haitham moved around his room.
he was quite sleepy.
“alhaitham..” kaveh groaned, he opened his arms, haitham tried his best to not smile at how cute kaveh looked.
alhaitham gave him way too much affection that kaveh is needing for more.
it’s dangerous how alhaitham felt so many feelings when he sees kaveh like this. with tears marks and red face, hair down and eyes half closed. alhaitham swears he could do literally anything to him right now but he held himself back.
he went to kaveh as kaveh started wrapping his arms around him again. kaveh smiled when the warmth he felt before is back again, they’re back to their usual position, haitham then slowly unbuttoned kaveh’s coat.
“stay still, kaveh”
kaveh hummed, trying his best to stay up and awake as alhaitham unbuttoned his coat until the very last button.
it is not the first time he’d seen kaveh topless, but it is the first time he’d be this close with a topless kaveh.
alhaitham knew kaveh workout most of the time, but he was quite surprised at how small his waist is. definitely would be so comfortable to wrap his hands around them.
kaveh looked at how alhaitham is eyeing his waist. kaveh smirked as he put one arm around his neck and pulled him closer to him.
“like what you see?” he raised an eyebrow. there he goes, the flirty drunk kaveh has appeared. alhaitham sighed. whenever kaveh gets drunk, he really wished any of his drunk sides would appear except this one.
he hates it because he’s been trying his best to not show any of his real feelings around kaveh. but this side of drunk kaveh is making it impossible for him.
“no, now stay still”
alhaitham ignored his flirty comments and started putting on his sleep shirt.
“aww man!” kaveh all of a sudden yells as he rubbed his head on alhaitham’s chest. it tickles him, but alhaitham stayed quiet.
“kaveh, stay still i’m trying to-“
“dont want to!”
alhaitham sighs, as he felt kaveh whispered to his neck. “wanna sleepp….” he groaned. alhaitham sighs again, he knew kaveh was a very difficult drunk to take care of, but he never gets tired of it, instead, he found it interesting.
“alhaitham.. sleep together.. please..”
kaveh’s eyes were shut as alhaitham was taken aback by the sudden need of kaveh. kaveh chuckled to himself. “how was that? did you fell for me?” kaveh smiled cheekishly as his cheeks grows pink.
alhaitham closed his eyes shut as he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. he never actually believed in gods but if gods were real he was begging to god kaveh would not remember any of this had happened.
“you’re so drunk, kaveh, stop it”
“i’m not drunk!”
“if you remember everything you said until now you would regret saying it when you’re sober”
“that’s false!”
kaveh pouts. there it goes, the cute drunk kaveh. his arms around alhaitham’s neck stayed tight as he went closer to him. alhaitham could still smell the alcohol is his breath, as their faces were inches away.
alhaitham awkwardly held kaveh’s bare waist, he didn’t know where to put his hands so he’d been holding kaveh’s waist the entire time. the skin to skin touch is making him crazy.
“kaveh, you’re drunk”
alhaitham said without breaking eye contact from him.
“so?”
kaveh slowly moved his face closer to alhaitham. he was taken aback by the sudden action as alhaitham quickly covers kaveh’s mouth with his hand.
“so i wouldn’t kiss you”
kaveh frowns, alhaitham’s declining his actions made him upset. haitham slowly gets up as kaveh tried his best to stay still but he couldn’t as he layed on the bed.
“why..?”
“you’re drunk kaveh, i dont want to make moves that both me and you will regret later”
alhaitham slowly went to kaveh’s desk to take out the drunk medicine he always had stored in the desk.
haitham gave him the medicine, but kaveh pouts as he looks away. “dont want to” he crossed his arms on his chest. “you have to drink this, you’re really drunk that’s exactly why you’re not behaving like yourself”
haitham was right, kaveh was never this flirty and clingy with him. although he is enjoying the flirty and clingy side of him, he knows kaveh hates it. he knows kaveh would regret everything later when he got sobered enough, that’s why he’s careful on not making kaveh feel more guilty of himself.
“why won’t you kiss me?”
kaveh frowns, the felt like alhaitham was ignoring his own feelings. haitham sighs.
“how about this, when you get sober enough in the next morning and you remember everything that had happened, if you still wants a kiss i’ll give it to you, but if you don’t i wont”
kaveh eyes lights up. “but it’s if you get sobered enough and remember what i said, so you better take the medicine”
haitham ways of making kaveh drink the medicine is working, as he took the medicine as fast as he can. haitham grabbed the shirt he failed to put on earlier as he slowly puts kaveh’s arms on the sleeve and puts it on him. he’s finally fully clothe.
although he’s still wearing his pants, alhaitham didn’t actually want to change it to his sleep pants, because he knows he won’t be able to take it.
“that’s a promise, okay!” kaveh chuckled at himself. little did he know, alhaitham knows kaveh wouldn’t remember anything that happened, and even if he did kaveh wouldn’t want to kiss him. he was just drunk. that’s why he’s behaving like that.
unlike kaveh, haitham knows and can differentiate between reality and fiction, he knows kaveh’s feelings towards him are not like this, he knew, that is why he doesn’t want to get his hopes up.
“alright then go to sleep”
kaveh frowns, “stay with me..” kaveh tugged haitham’s sleeve as he stared at him.
alhaitham smiled a little as he turned the lights off, pulls the blankets on kaveh and sat down next to him.
kaveh went closer to alhaitham as he slowly closed his eyes with a smile on his face. haitham caressed his hair and softly rubbed kaveh’s cheeks, making sure the tear marks were gone. kaveh loved the warmth of him, he loved how he took care of him, he loved how soft his skin feels when he touched him, he loved him.
he loves alhaitham.
this felt like home.
was his last thought before he slowly drifted away to sleep.
————
kaveh woke up in the next morning, his head hurts so bad as he realized he got so drunk. he slowly looked around his room and grabbed clothes as he went to the bathroom.
he puked a lot, as he coughs everything up. whatever had happened last night made his stomach feels so bad.
as he looked at himself in the mirror he realized he’s wearing the shirt backwards. thats weird. he thought. but then he must’ve not knew because he was so drunk.
he grabbed his toothbrush as he brushed his teeth and stared at himself for a few seconds.
his hair is nicely brused, he noticed his hair tie and pins were in the desk nicely placed earlier, there are faint tear marks on his face, but he suddenly smelled something familiar on his shirt.
alhaitham’s scent.
kaveh’s eyes widened as his face went red. everything that had happened last night finally came back to him. he started spitting the water in his mouth as he quickly, as fast as he can, splashed his face with water and run out of his room.
he ran and saw alhaitham sipping tea while reading his book on the chair, alhaitham noticed him and puts his tea down. “you’re finally awake, i made breakfast already, you were so drunk-“
kaveh cuts him off by running towards him. he grabbed his collar as he slammed their lips together. the book haitham was reading fell to the floor. fortunately, the tea did not fall.
alhaitham’s eyes widened. he hadn’t thought kaveh would remember his promise. the kiss was quick and abrupt. but it took everything in haitham to finally realize what is going on.
kaveh pulled away as he stared at him with red cheeks. haitham’s mouth was open. he didn’t really know what to say. “are you.. still drunk-“ “i’m fully sober, haitham, fully sober”
he didn’t know, for the first time he didn’t know kaveh really wanted to kiss him.
at this point, alhaitham didn’t hold back anymore. he couldn’t.
he stands up and he grabbed kaveh by the neck and slammed their lips together again. this time, kaveh was the one who is surprised. the kiss was different than the first one, it was more passionate and needy.
haitham has been wanting to kiss him for god knows how long, but he held himself back. he won’t now that he knows kaveh felt the same way.
kaveh closed his eyes and he could feel alhaitham taking the lead in the kiss, it was very new and kaveh felt a bit embarrassed. they were literally making out.
alhaitham could still taste the alcohol in him, but he couldn’t care less. kaveh’s lips are on him right now, there’s nothing he can care about except for how soft and nice it tastes like.
it was going on for a while now, and kaveh is really red right now, he feels flustered at how good haitham is making him feel, he needs air.
kaveh tried pushing him away to get air, but alhaitham didn’t let him. it was obvious haitham is the dominant one. it felt like a competition somehow, on who can take the lead better, and haitham won.
“w-wait haitham i-“
haitham shut him off. he tightened the grip on the back of kaveh’s neck. as he held kaveh’s waist. kaveh didn’t know where to put his hands so he just awkwardly placed them on haitham’s shoulders.
kaveh was struggling to get out, he felt weird, weirdly good that its creeping him out. kaveh was groaning and letting out sounds both alhaitham and himself has never heard before.
haitham knew how good kaveh feels right now. he smirked at himself, feeling like he won something because he’s the one who made him feel good.
kaveh tried his best to keep up with haitham’s rhythm but failed because haitham is being needy. his pace is really fast as he keep kissing him again and again, like there’s no tomorrow.
haitham pulled him closer, he wanted to stay like this. kaveh swears haitham has touched every spot and inch in his mouth with his tongue. the thought made him shiver.
haitham slowly let go, but the grip on kaveh’s waist stayed.
kaveh pants as he looked away from him, too embarrassed to meet his face. he slowly covers his mouth with his hand. haitham stared at him. he wonders how kaveh looks so cute right now.
“felt good?”
haitham asks, kaveh looked at him as his face got even more red. “oh shut up” kaveh tried his best to cover his face, too flustered to meet haitham’s menacing yet seducing gaze.
haitham grabbed his hands and moved them away. “don’t shy off now, you brought this up to yourself” haitham was right, kaveh was the one who kissed him first, he should’ve knew what he sign up for.
kaveh didn’t realize how much of a needy person haitham is when he went in for a kiss again but kaveh covers his mouth. “stop stop stop” he panicked. alhaitham stared at his face and movements. “i thought you liked it”
“i-i do! but..” kaveh looked away. haitham titled his head, pulling kaveh’s waist closer to him, their waists are touching. kaveh tried to ignore how close their bodies are. “it’s too fast..” kaveh looked at haitham’s glowing eyes. he felt affection in them, and desires.
alhaitham stared for a few seconds, what went through is head is only how kaveh looked so adorable. he sighs. he rested his face on kaveh’s shoulder. the sudden movement made kaveh tense up. he felt alhaitham’s arms wrap around him.
“haitham?” kaveh glanced at him, his eyes are shut and his forehead is resting on kaveh’s shoulder. this is the first time he’d seen him like this. needy, clingy, and cute haitham. a side he had never thought he will ever see.
“god i just love you so much” haitham mumbled.
kaveh blushed at his sudden confession, as he slowly rested his hand on haitham’s back.
“i love you too”
he smiles at himself. he could feel haitham smiling, although he cannot see it, he could feel it.
“ah! i just realized it’s your fault i got so drunk last night!” kaveh had a sudden realization, it was haitham’s fault when he took kaveh’s spare keys. “i already apologized” haitham said.
“that was when i was drunk, you have to apologize now”
haitham clicked his tongue. “don’t wanna”
kaveh furrowed his eyebrows. “why?”
“if i didn’t took your keys, none of this would’ve happen, i have nothing to apologize for”
kaveh stared at him before he laughs. haitham was right, if he didn’t took his keys, he wouldn’t have confessed and kissed him. he wouldn’t have experienced something like this with him ever again.
“i guess you’re right”
kaveh smiles as he rested his head on top of alhaitham’s.
he’s finally home.
maybe losing a spare key weren’t as bad as he thought.