Archive of Our Own

“You don’t deserve to die, Red. You deserve to be broken down. Torn apart. Quite from existence.”

It played on repeat in her mind throughout her whole fight with all the people she failed to save.  After every shot she launched from Crescent Rose. After each deadly swing. The art of a fight was something that she mastered. But this…

She was once again useless. The weapons she struggled against but the words. The truths spoken to her.

Those are truly what cut her down. From Ironwood. From Pyrrha…

And as she ran to pick up Crescent Rose, a line of swords appeared before her. Her swords, in specific.

“Just like you were too late to save me at the Vytal Festival.”

From Penny…

“I died in Atlas too, didn’t I?”

She could already feel the sting in the corners of her eyes.

“Can you imagine what that’s like? To be completely and utterly failed time and again by someone who meant the world to you.” Penny said getting eye level with her. 

Her choked sobs, her urge to reach out and just touch Penny were cut short. Being yanked back quickly so now tears weren’t the only things suffocating her. 

“Were you ready for that drink, yet?”

She shoved out of Torchwick’s hold as fast as she could, lunging for Crescent Rose. The smack of metal to her jaw threw her back. The world spun, right along with Pyrrha’s spear.

“How many more people are going to die because of you?!” The kick launched her into the wall, giving her at least some form of stability to try and keep standing.

“I’m trying to save everyone!”

And she was. She so desperately was. There had already been enough death, enough suffering, enough grief. Enough of it all to shatter her dreams from when she was young. Enough to shatter who she was to the point where looking at herself felt like looking at a complete stranger.

“And yet with all your best intentions have you ever stopped to wonder if you did more harm than good?!” Ironwood’s barrage was rich coming from him.

But was he right? Did she become just like him? Like him where all his efforts to save people led to him damning them all to death. Did she too become blinded by a righteous mission that struck down as many people as it saved? Who was she kidding, that’s exactly what was happening. 

But was it truly her to blame for this?

“It’s not my fault.” It was meek, but she knew it was the actual truth. She was a kid when this all started. She has only had two birthdays since she enrolled at Beacon. She knew this. She knew this. She was already weighed down by the blood spilled in front of her and she was only seventeen.

Her crawl to her weapon was interrupted by the swinging of a cane.

“How many more lives,” smack, “do you have to ruin,” smack, “before you realize, ” smack, “you’re not cut out,” smack, “to SAVE,” smack, “ANYONE?!”

She decided she wasn’t going to take this abuse from her old mentor anymore. The one that brought her into all of this.

And her urge to fight, to survive returns in the flash of her weapon arching into a deadly swing.

That fire that lit up in her soul was exhausted as quickly as it came to be.

Why was she trying to fight? Why was she trying to survive? 

She would only fail again. Fail the same way she failed all the people staring at her and hitting her blow. After blow. After blow.

She had been fighting for so long.

And for what.

For her own hands to finally deal the last blow to Oscar. 

“Ruby…” He falls.

And she follows.

Horrified faces stare on. Trained on the body. Trained on her. Those faces shimmer and she can’t bring herself to bring her eyes up to look at who they became. She didn’t need to when she knew who each person was from just their shoes.

“Do you really think you can stand to watch more of your friends fall?”

It was said with such gentleness that it carved into her heart and her brain. She knew the answer to that question was no. 

“ Please stop…” She was desperate to keep images of her team dying in her arms from her mind. Some of those images just being flashbacks.

“Or are you ready to admit the truth? That the world would be better off without you?”

Heavy eyes weigh on her. They always have and they always will. Their pressure crushing her slowly more and more, even past the point of being broken. Reducing her into flecks of dust that would disappear with the slightest gust of wind.

And she sobbed.

To watch them die. To watch them die because of her. Because of her failures. They did not deserve the fate of dying for some worthless pretender, a false hero, a failure of a leader.

She could save them from that fate. All with the help of a psychedelic brew being pushed in front of her very eyes. A tea made from the leaves of the Tree. 

She contemplates the drink. She had no clue what it would do. She knows the Tree can ascend Afterans. They can be reborn into versions of themselves that can properly carry out their purpose. She could achieve her purpose.

A blast launches Neo from the mansion. An attack she recognizes from one of her guides here in the Ever After.

“It’s alright, Ruby.” The Cat comforts. “It’s over now.”

She can’t help the relief it brings her. She doesn’t know how she would feel if any of her team came and saw her lying beaten on the ground. But they’re here instead of her team. Something that can’t suffer from her imperfections.

“I-I’m sorry…I don’t want to be me anymore.” She doesn’t want eyes on her anymore. She doesn’t want the heavy burdens of leadership or heroism. Things she dreamed of being, just like her mom. But her mom wasn’t around now, was she? The tears flow freely.

“It’s okay, little huntress.” And their weight soothes her. Grounds her. “I can be you instead.”

What?

Chuckling. Dark chuckling comes from the Cat most Curious that lays on her. “I have been trying to wear you down for so long.”

Claws insert her deeper than any blade she has ever felt on her skin. Tearing through the protective layer of aura, through her battle clothing, sinking deep into her very being.

“ What are you doing?” She trusted them. She trusted them.

“My purpose!” They say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “When a poor little heart is broken, I can fill it with mine. I’m afraid I haven’t been entirely honest with you, Ruby.”

“ No.”

“I’m not like the other Afterans here. I’m cursed with curiosity. I need to know everything! But more than anything, I need to know why my makers left me here . Only to leave and make all of–YOW!”

A small chomp redirected the Cat’s attention.

“You’re not a friend!” It sounds like Little. “Friends don’t–”

Little is swatted away and Ruby follows the trajectory of the small mouse. Just in time to watch Neo running back in, her sights aimed on the Cat.

“Ruby!” Little rushes to her, tugging with all their might on Ruby’s fingers. “You have to get up! We have to go!”

A shoe comes down with a little twist added in for good measure.

Horrified. It was the only way Ruby could describe the past few seconds. Horrified beyond all belief.

Another life, gone. An innocent life. The life of a friend she made here in the Ever After that may not have been the best guide but had been a good friend. Gone. All. Because. Of. Her.

The cup slid back in front of her.

“Hmph. I think it’s about time we all got what we deserve.”

Ruby can barely hear him over the static in her mind. Her ears ring louder than any of the times she got caught up in a little dust malfunction that caused an explosion. Louder than the screeches of countless grimm. 

But she didn’t need to hear him to curl around the cup like it was her last resort. Her last comfort. Her last choice. 

And she takes the cup.

“ Are you ready to admit the truth?”

She raises the cup to her lips and looks up at the new images of her team. Her friends. Her family. 

Jaune. Blake. Weiss. 

Yang.

She stared directly at some of the most important people in her life and didn’t even know if they were real or just Neo. If she had any tears left maybe she would cry. But she felt…

Nothing.

At least it still gave her a chance to look at them once more. To etch their faces even further in her memory, deeper than they already had been stitched into the fibers of her soul. This will be the last disappointment she will leave them with. Really they should thank her. She was getting rid of a heavy burden that hurt all of them. She loved them. She really did. She was just never good enough for them…

No more at least.

“ That the world would just be better off without you.”

She would become someone new. Someone worthy of them. Of leading them. Worth their time and love.

She looked at them all. Looked each one of them in the eyes, her sorrow finally unmasked to these images of the most important people in her life. As her eyes roamed over the group, they latched onto her dear sister, thanking her for all the needless effort that came from the burden of caring for her. She’ll change so she can never worry again.

In her mind, as she raises the cup in cheers with them. A farewell toast. 

To Jaune. Her closest friend and fellow leader. He had been her friend since their first day at Beacon, he had stuck by her side along with his team when hers were split apart. Who knew the heavy weight that came with leadership and tried to bear it with her. Who still strived for heroism, even after falling and forced into a solitude that drove him to a cycle of madness.

To Blake. One of her best friends and trusted teammate. Who told her that she was her hero. How she failed her. No, this is meant to be a toast. Who spent many times trading books with her back at Beacon and running their own private little book club. Who made mistakes in her past and learnt and grew. Who organized the faunus to provide them the much needed support back at Haven Academy. Who Ruby could entrust the heart of her sister to, knowing that Blake had wounded it once before and wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

To Weiss. Her absolute best friend and partner. Who she started out roughly with and who doubted her skills. She was right about not trusting you to lead . Who promised to be the best partner and worked so hard to achieve that goal. Who’s icey walls melted and allowed for Ruby to show her warmth that comes with the team. Who was made to leave not from her own volition and still fought her way back to Ruby’s side. Who always stood strong and defined herself time and time again. Who loved their team and friends so fiercely that it made Ruby proud to have been her partner.

To Yang. The best sister she could have ever had. Who took on the role of her caregiver when their mom passed away. Who always cleaned the scrapes and boo-boos while growing up, sealing them with a band-aid and get-better-soon kiss. Who read the stories that inspired her to become a huntress in the first place. Who sacrificed everything to protect and love her. Who managed to be on her team when they both got enrolled at Beacon in the same year. Who lost her arm and lost herself but still forged forward with the fire in her heart. Who stayed by her side and always did her best to provide comfort to Ruby through their journey. Who loved her so wholly and unconditionally. Who’s heart was large enough to love their whole team and friends and still have the space to find true love as well. Who she was abandoning after all they have been through together. Who she felt sorry the most to .

The edge of the cup was to her lips as she felt the warm tea from the tree fill her. Maybe it was her mind playing tricks or the Ever After giving her a sweeter end than she deserved, but it almost tasted like some cookies her mom made when she was younger. The taste changed as she tilted the whole cup back, gulping down a sweet hot chocolate taste that she remembered being made for teams JNPR and RWBY back in Beacon after one of their impromptu movie nights. The taste of homes long gone. And as the ground finally swallowed her up, her mouth felt like it was full of ashes. From Beacon. From Atlas…

She was finally falling again.

The darkness finally consumed her and the small mouse that ended up another casualty due to her. They can change together.

And as she closed her eyes, no use keeping them open in complete darkness, she could finally rest as she waited for her end and for her new beginning.

Ruby Rose was never a hero.

But maybe whoever she changes into will be.