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A pounding on the door snapped Kaeya out of his almost-dream.
He found himself back in his room, slumped on the sofa, dozing off as the night had taken over outside. The nearly empty glass of wine in his hand had dipped dangerously low and threatened to spill on the cushions any moment now.
The pounding at the door sounded again, louder this time, and Kaeya jumped at the noise. He had no idea how late it was or what he’d done now to possibly upset someone.
On his way to the door, he readied himself to face an angry Diluc with whatever new accusation he’d prepared to throw in Kaeya’s face.
But when Kaeya opened, it wasn’t Diluc who stood before him. It was Dainsleif. And standing was a bit of a stretch because his friend was slumped against the doorframe, clearly struggling to keep himself upright, face contorted in pain.
“Dain?” Kaeya stared at him, dumbfounded.
It had been roughly two weeks since he’d seen him, two weeks since Dainsleif had set off for one of his lonely walks, unable to provide a destination when Kaeya asked him about it.
Somehow, it had become an odd ritual to him: Dainsleif disappeared once in a while, but he always returned to Kaeya. Until that pale-blue afternoon about two weeks ago.
Kaeya had always teased him about his secrecy, as usual, but when Dainsleif hadn’t returned that night and stayed absent for the following one as well, Kaeya had grown restless.
He’d looked for him; he’d searched the Whispering Woods and even Dragonspine, but there was no trace of Dainsleif anywhere. It felt like he’d never existed in the first place, like his whole reappearance had been nothing but a scornful dream.
“Where the hell have you been?” Kaeya blurted, suddenly furious to see his old friend standing in his doorway, overcome with every bit and piece of frustration he’d bottled up during his absence.
Dainsleif shifted on his feet, gripping the doorframe with one hand. Only then, Kaeya noticed that his other hand was clutching his stomach, where blackish blue blood stained his clothes.
“My … apologies,” he grunted before he collapsed right into Kaeya’s arms.
✧
About ten minutes later, Kaeya had managed to carry Dainsleif to the sofa and positioned him carefully on his back to have a better look at the wound.
He’d fetched a first-aid kit that Diluc had slipped him during one of his nights in the tavern, when his brother had thought him blackout drunk enough to not remember. Kaeya had decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and keep that secret kindness between them. He’d appreciated it, too – not that he planned on ever revealing that to his brother.
Trying to ignore his growing concern, Kaeya removed the fabric that was covering the wound, careful not to touch it directly. The cut was deep and messy – the sight of it a punch to Kaeya’s stomach.
Black blood dripped from the wound that had stained Dainsleif’s fingers as well. In the dim lighting of the narrow room, it took on a midnight-blue sheen, traced with sparks of iridescence that reminded Kaeya of the night-sky and all that lay beyond.
He dared a glance at Dainsleif’s face, which was beaded with sweat, firm lines of pain still lingering in his unconscious expression.
For just a moment, Kaeya allowed the terror to settle in his chest, the fear of losing Dainsleif – again and again, it seemed. Then, he started to clean and bandage the wound, instead focusing on the lecture he would give his friend once he woke up.
✧
Another hour passed. Dainsleif didn’t wake.
Kaeya had started to pace around the room, brewed a cup of coffee, then let it sit on the counter to grow cold. He reached for the bottle of wine instead, only to find it empty already.
With a grunt, he decided to fetch another bottle from his emergency stash in the storage closet down the hall. But Dainsleif shifted on the sofa once Kaeya’s hand gripped the door handle.
“You’re leaving?” The question was followed by a cough and a groan of pain.
Kaeya spun around, trying to fix his smile and hide the crushing dread in his chest at the sight of his injured friend. “You’re awake,” he said on his way over. “Finally.”
“I’m sorry for coming here like this,” Dainsleif said, a genuine apology in the corner of his eye. “It’s just … I didn’t know where else to go.”
Kaeya took a seat beside him, overcome with relief and gratitude. He hadn’t imagined Dainsleif after all. His friend, his very own knight, was real and he’d returned, again.
The realization felt nearly absurd, but Kaeya could find appreciation for it, nevertheless.
“Don’t worry.” He beamed. “I patched you up already.”
Dainsleif’s gaze dropped to the bandage wrapped around his abdomen, the hint of a smile trapped in the corner of his mouth. “I remember you used to do that all the time.” He lifted his head, starry eyes fixed on Kaeya. “Mainly for yourself, because you’re such a reckless fighter.”
Kaeya grinned at him. “I’d like to remind you of my many different skillsets, Captain.”
“I remember them, too.”
For a second, Kaeya thought about demonstrating his recklessness by pulling him close and kissing him but decided against it. Besides, Dainsleif hat made it clear to him that he wasn’t interested in that kind of relationship with him anymore. Although Kaeya couldn’t help but wonder whenever Dainsleif looked at him like that – hiding something and battling it at the same time. Kaeya had to admit that it was a little fun to watch.
He cleared his throat instead. “What about a ‘thank you’, then?” He nodded at the bandaged injury. “And an explanation, perhaps?”
Dainsleif frowned at the black blood that still stained his fingertips. “I’m not sure.”
Kaeya blinked at him. “What do you mean, you’re not sure? Have you ever been injured like this before?”
“No.” Dainsleif sighed, visibly unsettled by thoughts that remained a mystery to Kaeya – much to his frustration. “I think I was ambushed. The last thing I remember is looking at the stars, feeling homesick. When I woke, I was already bleeding.”
Kaeya grimaced. “That’s concerning.” When Dainsleif glanced up at him, one eye concealed by his hair, the other dipped in guilt, Kaeya offered him one of his comforting smiles – he hoped it looked more convincing than it actually felt. “But you’re safe here, that’s all that matters for now.”
“I guess so.” Dainsleif was still lost in thought, occupied by a memory or a feeling that Kaeya couldn’t decipher.
He shifted closer to his friend on the sofa, gently reaching for his hand and starting to wipe the dried blood from Dainsleif’s fingers. The gesture startled him at first, but he didn’t pull away as Kaeya continued to clean his skin.
“I didn’t mean to leave like that,” Dainsleif said after they’d sat in silence for a moment. “I promised to stay by your side, and I vanished again. And the only explanation I can provide …” He glanced at his bandages and his frown deepened.
“Getting stabbed is a fairly reasonable explanation.” When Dainsleif’s troubled eyes met Kaeya’s again, Kaeya offered his friend a crooked grin.
“You’re not upset?” The question was full of surprise.
Kaeya’s fingers lingered for a second longer before he brushed Dainsleif’s knuckles and finally, severed their touch. “Of course not.”
“Are you lying again?”
Kaeya’s grin widened as he leaned back on the couch. “Of course not.”
Dainsleif held his gaze for a second longer before he attempted to stand up in one swift movement. He gasped and staggered almost immediately, losing balance and composure.
Kaeya’s body was quicker than his thoughts. He rushed over and slung an arm around Dainsleif’s waist, carefully steadying him as his friend’s breath trembled for a moment.
“I should go,” Dainsleif said in a strained voice, contradicting his body language completely. He was clutching Kaeya’s shoulder to hold himself upright, his back tensing because of the still fresh wound.
Kaeya chuckled. “I don’t think you’re going anywhere. At least not for tonight.” In a determined but tender manner, Kaeya pushed his friend back on the couch, earning a scowl.
“I failed to protect you, again,” Dainsleif retorted weakly, eyes hazy with exertion. “I even failed to protect myself. And I can’t remember what happened either …”
“You didn’t fail to protect me. I’m right here, perfectly healthy.” Kaeya was standing in front of him, folding his arms in front of his chest and raising a brow. “This time, I was the one protecting you.” He flashed a smile. “You’re welcome, by the way.”
At that, Dainsleif’s scowl softened into another frown. He shook his head. “I have never experienced an injury like this before. I’ve always recovered quite quickly. Maybe …” His face twisted into an all familiar, troubled expression. “Maybe this was always supposed to be the end for me … for my journey. I knew that, someday, the curse would take me.”
The confession surprised Kaeya, shocked him, too. The one person who claimed to be forever lost had decided that he’d reached his end? Just like this? Because of an injury? Because of an attack that had been impossible to foresee?
“You’ve lost a lot of blood. And you’re talking nonsense.” Kaeya offered half a smile, but Dainsleif wasn’t looking at him.
He was staring at his hands instead, strands of hair shielding his eyes. Kaeya could only see the cruel line of his mouth as it tightened, a muscle shifting in his jaw. “I’m out of choices, Kaeya. I can’t continue like this. I failed.”
If Kaeya’s heart hadn’t already been broken, it would’ve shattered to pieces right then.
He’d always known Dainsleif like he knew himself, had laughed and cried with him, had trusted him with secrets and his own heart. But nothing could’ve prepared him to see his oldest friend so eager to give up, shrouded in a shade of tragedy that resembled that of a fallen star. Bruised and weakened, betrayed by fate. Worst of all, hopeless.
This wasn’t right.
Kaeya tightened his right hand to a fist by his side, nails digging into his skin as he swore to himself, he would never allow anyone to hurt Dainsleif again. Just like broken skin, spirits and hearts would scar, too. But they weren’t alone anymore. And Kaeya intended to keep it that way.
Before he could think better of it, he’d already lowered himself on his knees in front of Dainsleif, reaching for his friend’s hands once more.
Dainsleif’s head jerked at the sudden closeness of Kaeya’s arms resting on his thighs but, just like before, he didn’t attempt to pull away. Instead, he stared at Kaeya, eyes entangled in a shade of sadness that tugged at Kaeya’s heart once more.
“We’re in this together now,” Kaeya said. “Remember?”
“But–”
He shook his head. “You didn’t fail, Dain. And you can’t argue. I won’t tolerate it.” Gently, he squeezed Dainsleif’s hand. “I’m with you. You’re with me. That’s the only option you have. There’s no other place for you to go because your journey led you here.” The corner of his mouth kicked up into a smile. “To me.”
Dainsleif’s features softened at his words. Slowly, he seemed to recover. His eyes returned to calm and starlight and Kaeya’s chest eased at the sight.
“I’m a knight of the Royal Guard,” Dainsleif said with a weary smile. “And yet my prince is the one who comforts me.”
“Fortunately, old titles are long past us.” Kaeya lowered his head, placing his chin on their linked hands on Dainsleif’s thighs, smiling up at him. “Unless I have to order you to rest. That’s something I will do.”
Dainsleif looked at him for a couple more seconds before he carefully retrieved his hand. He hesitated for another moment before he brought it to Kaeya’s face, touching his cheek and tugging a strand of sea-blue hair behind his ear.
The gesture sent a pleasant shiver down Kaeya’s spine and another smile – a little smug, this time – to his lips.
“Thank you,” Dainsleif said softly, “for tonight.”
Kaeya leaned into the hand that was still playing with his hair, closing his eyes as he turned his head to place a kiss in Dainsleif’s palm. Although it was barely a brush of skin, his heart fluttered at the sensation. For a moment, he wondered about stars and how it would feel to kiss them.
He smiled about his foolish thought as he opened his eyes and got to his feet again, reluctant to retrieve his hands and ending this moment.
“Kaeya.” The sound of his name drew his gaze back to Dainsleif’s eyes and he wavered as he found them dipping to his mouth.
A thrill rippled through him, a possibility. It emerged and died in a single breath as Kaeya decided to tease his friend a little more.
Something like: You really lost a lot of blood, or why are you looking at me like that?
Or: Look who’s the reckless one now.
Instead, all he managed to say was: “Dain–”
Because Dainsleif was already reaching for him, pulling him close and stealing his breath as he pressed his mouth to Kaeya’s.
Kaeya’s hand gripped the cushion beside Dainsleif’s head to steady himself as he felt Dainsleif’s grasp on his shirt, which suddenly loosened as he seemed to realize what he’d just initiated.
Dainsleif drew back, staring at Kaeya with a mixture of shock and excitement. By then, Kaeya had already tasted the stars and he refused to part with that moment just yet. Softly, he lowered his head once more, brushing his lips against Dainsleif’s again, testing the waters at first.
Dainsleif let out a shaky breath, full of anticipation, and Kaeya felt foolish triumph surge through him.
Who’s the liar now? He wanted to ask.
Instead, he simply surrendered to this intriguing turn of events. He pressed his mouth to Dainsleif’s once more, challenging him to return the kiss – which he did, star-touched and wonderful.
They both decided to keep each other close that night. Kaeya tried to be mindful of his friend’s bandages as he embraced him and placed a kiss on Dainsleif’s hair, telling him to go to sleep.
The feeling wasn’t new, although it felt different, in a way. It held meaning, fragile but truthful, because they’d both chosen this possibility again.
Or perhaps Dainsleif had been right when he’d said that they were out of choices, Kaeya thought. Perhaps this – the two of them, together – was inevitable, another instance of fate.
Kaeya was no believer of mercy or hope. He would, however, always believe in Dainsleif and his wondrous eyes, packed with night and stars and secrets.
After all those years, this was still home.