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Sitting in his bedroom, alone, staring at the millions of calls from Izuku, none of which he’s picked up, Katsuki realizes just how badly he messed up. He sits with his back against the door, banging his head back against it a couple times every now and then. He keeps replaying the fight in his mind, all the stupid things he said to Izuku.
It started out like a fairly typical day. Katsuki went to work, came back to his apartment, got invited over by his boyfriend, went over to Izuku’s place, and then they were watching a movie when all of a sudden they were arguing.
And the most stupid thing about it is that Katsuki can’t even fucking remember what it was about. He keeps replaying it in his mind but he can’t, for the life of him, figure out what started it.
He remembers them just screaming at each other. Er, well, Katsuki was screaming and Izuku was just trying to talk it out at first, like the perfect fucking man he is. He was trying to make things right. He was trying to fix whatever was wrong in the first place and Katsuki couldn’t have cared less about anything he was trying to say, which made Izuku begin to scream as well and then it was a huge screaming match between the two.
In his mind, he plays back the things he said. He thinks about the things Izuku said, actually taking them into consideration now. The two were barely even communicating with each other, moreso just yelling sentences at each other and not listening to what the other had to say.
Then it hits Katsuki. What they were fighting about.
Katsuki was jealous. He was jealous of Todoroki. The two of them had been watching a movie and Izuku’s phone dinged, so he got it out of his pocket and began texting. Katsuki had asked him, “Who’re you textin’?”
“Oh, just Shouto,” Izuku had a bright smile on his face, one that Katsuki could never forget, “we’re going out for lunch on Saturday!”
“What?”
Izuku’s eyebrows furrowed before he shrugged and started talking again, “On Saturday, Shouto and I are gonna go out for lunch at that one place down the street. The one with the really good dessert.”
“You’re going on a lunch date with Half n Half?” Katuski asked, the rageful jealousy increasing inside of him.
Izuku shrugged, “Well, yeah, I suppose.”
“What the fuck,” Katsuki pushed himself off the couch and started yelling nasty things at Izuku, accusing him of cheating on him with Todoroki.
Izuku tried explaining himself, tried calming the situation down but Katsuki just kept screaming.
One little bit of miscommunication, just the two of them taking a term in two different ways, something that could’ve been solved if Katsuki had just fuckin’ spoken to the best thing that’s ever happened to him. It didn’t help that Katsuki had already been jealous of Todoroki since the start of their relationship, this just pushed him over the edge. Misreading the damn situation turned into a screaming match. Katsuki left, Izuku tried to get him to stay, and Katsuki told him that he was done and that he’s had enough.
Now, he hates himself for it and yet he still can’t seem to own up to his mistakes and call Izuku to apologize. His stupid fucking pride has him sitting in this room, alone, hoping that somehow he just magically gets Izuku back.
He hates the words he said to Izuku. He hates that he made Izuku cry. He hates that he knows that Izuku is likely crying right now. He hates that he can’t even pick up the fucking phone because, for one, he’s still a little bit angry and, for two, he’s scared he’s just gonna say more things that he’ll regret later since he’s still not fully convinced his thoughts weren’t correct. He’s still not fully convinced that him being jealous of Shouto is some crazy and there’s no way that it’s true.
Still, the one thing his logic is telling him is that he doesn’t want to pick up the phone because he most likely will say something stupid and hurtful and lose any possible chance he might still have with Izuku. Not that he’s confident he’s still got one after this disaster.
He grabs his phone, now that it’s finally stopped getting a call once a minute and he looks through all of the pictures they have together. It’s such a cliche thing to do after a breakup (though he’s not sure they did even just breakup, Katsuki did say that he was done but he was referring to the fight- He’s pretty sure that Izuku took it in a different way, though) but he doesn’t even care because it’s the only thing keeping him holding onto the hope of fixing things.
Seeing how happy they’ve been together gives Katsuki hope that things will be fixed.
All he really wants is for Izuku to apologize for making Katsuki think the things he thought. Katsuki is a logical man, okay? Izuku spends a lot of time with Todoroki, it’s not illogical to think that he’s cheating on him with him.
But, fuck, he knows that they’re just friends. He knows that Izuku is in love with him, not Todoroki. Katsuki wants things to be fixed but he’s too prideful to be the one to admit his wrongdoings and he’s too prideful to pick up the phone and let Izuku state his case over the phone.
Is it so wrong to want Izuku to have chased after him after the fight? Is it so wrong to want Izuku to show up at his apartment and beg for forgiveness while explaining how much he loves Katsuki and how he’s not cheating on him? Is it so wrong to want Izuku to have been able to just read his damn mind?
Katsuki is a fool and he has conflicting emotions and he’s pretty damn aware of all of that. He’s got a million of thoughts, some of which are replaying the fight over and over again, others of which are trying to defend his own actions and then defend Izuku’s and then defend his own again.
None of it makes sense and yet it all does.
Then, he hears a tapping on his window.
He lives on the third floor.
He slowly gets up, wiping his face to make him look at least a little presentable in case this happens to be a very talented serial killer who can scale walls. He walks over to his window, pushing the curtain aside to see Izuku standing there. In front of his apartment building for anybody to see.
It’s raining so Izuku’s hair is flattened to his forehead and he looks the most nervous Katsuki has seen him in the last couple of years.
Katsuki pushes his window up to open it, allowing for the wind to push the rain inside and he sticks his head out, “What the fuck?!”
“I love you Katsuki!” Izuku yells up, cupping his hands around his mouth to make his voice travel up in a better manner, “I hate fighting with you! Let me apologize!”
“Go away, Izuku!” Katuski yells back, rolling his eyes, “There isn’t anything you can say to make it better, Izuku!” Except there is. There are millions of things he can say to make it better and ‘I love you Katsuki’ was one of them.
“Let me come up there!” Izuku screams to him, “Or come down here,” He offers instead, the rain hitting his face since he’s looking pretty much straight up to be able to see Katsuki.
“I don’t need you,” Katsuki yells bitterly. He was just telling himself that he wanted Izuku to apologize and now that he is, Katuski can’t accept it? What kind of fucked up logic is that? Why can’t Katsuki just sort out his feelings in a simple, logical, easy-to-understand way? Why does he have to be so fucking terrible at something that everybody should be good at? That everybody seems to be good at.
Katsuki does need Izuku. Katsuki does want Izuku. Katsuki does want to hear his apology. Katsuki does need to apologize himself. Katsuki doesn’t need to sit in this room wondering about ‘what ifs’. Katsuki doesn’t want to ruin his relationship. Katsuki doesn’t want to ignore him. Katsuki just really does not want to fuckin’ lose Izuku.
See? Conflicting.
Too fucking conflicting and Katuski isn’t sure why every single thought he has is countered by the exact opposite thought.
But before he knows it, before he can even think, he’s running out of his apartment and down the stairs, even after just saying that he doesn’t need Izuku. As he said, he’s just conflicting with himself over and over again because he does need him. He does need him and he’s right there. Just across the threshold.
He doesn’t even bother with the elevators, knowing that those things take too damn long, especially if you’re in a rush.
He gets to the lobby of his apartment building and rushes out to see that Izuku had been beginning to walk away, likely thinking that Katsuki just went back inside his apartment, ignoring Izuku but, the fact is, that’s not true in the slightest.
The rain hits him fast, it’s freezing and it makes Katuski stop in his tracks for a moment. Luckily, Izuku turns around at the sound of the door opening, “Kacchan?”
“I’m sorry,” As those words bubble out of Katsuki, so does an overflow of tears. He walks to Izuku and just breaks down, falling into the man’s arms, “I assumed the fucking worst shit and it was stupid and I’m a fucking idiot and I somehow ruined us and I didn’t mean to, and- Shit, I’m sorry.”
Izuku’s eyes widen and his arms move to quickly wrap around Katsuki, “You didn’t ruin anything. I should’ve been more clear.”
Katsuki does admit that that’s true, “Damn right you should’ve,” He says into Izuku’s neck, muffling the words, “but I overreacted and should’ve just let you explain yourself.”
“I love you Kacchan, I don’t wanna lose you over something so stupid.”
“I don’t wanna lose you either Izu, I love you so much. I just-” Katuski stops himself. He shouldn’t bring down the mood anymore but he’s genuinely not sure that he’s worth Izuku’s time. He made a big deal out of one small comment and turned it into this horrible mess of an argument.
“What?”
“Nevermind.”
“No, tell me,” Izuku insists, pulling away enough that Katsuki is at arms reach, so that he can look at him in the eyes.
Katsuki shakes his head, “Nothing.”
Then, as if Izuku can actually read his mind, he says, “You are worth everything, Kacchan. I don’t care if I have to stand in the rain a…” He hesitates for a moment, squinting his eyes and shaking his head as if he’s trying to come up with a good enough word, “bajillion more times, I would do it over and over again just to make sure that there’s no bad blood between us. I love you, Kacchan. This,” He lets go of Katsuki, holding his arms to the side to allow for the rain to fall onto them, he chuckles, “just comes with the territory.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I know,” Izuku smirks, taking the step to close the gap between them again, “I am in love with you, after all.”
“Tch,” Katsuki scoffs fondly but can’t help himself anymore. He grabs Izuku’s face and pulls him in for a kiss, something he’s been wanting to do since he started that stupid fight this evening.
He hears cheers come from a couple of people from his apartment building, likely people who had been listening in since Izuku was very loud and in front of an entire apartment building. Katsuki can assume that it’s his friends, the people he lives around, that have forced themselves into his life.
He flips them off without even breaking his kiss with Izuku. That just makes them cheer louder.
When Katuski does finally break the kiss, he says, “Let’s fuckin’ get inside. It’s freezing out here and we’ve got some obnoxious fuckers watching us,” He glares up to the people who were cheering. Katsuki was right to assume that it was the people he begrudgingly calls his friends.
Izuku giggles, “I think it’s sweet.”
“I don’t, c’mon,” Katsuki grabs his hand and the two walk back inside the apartment building, allowing themselves to take all the time in the world to wait for the elevator.
They get up to the apartment and walk inside, Katuski didn’t even have enough sense to lock the place before he left.
He also didn’t have enough sense to close his window so now there is water all over his floor but when Katsuki hears the laugh that comes from Izuku as he notices what happened, Katsuki can’t help but think he’d leave his window open in the pouring rain over and over again just to hear that laugh.