Work Text:
6-5-15
Prompt: the entire left side of your face has been shaven and I’m trying really hard not to look at you but I just wanna know why you shaved half of your head AU
Pairing: BoKuroo
Rating: T
Oikawa was going to die.
Kuroo wasn’t sure when, or how, but as he made his way into his calculus seat at 8:30 in the morning, he was certain that Oikawa was going to die. He flopped into his chair and resisted the urge to scratch his scalp. He could feel the eyes of every one of his classmates on him, but he stared resolutely forward, determined to get through this lecture with some dignity intact.
Bokuto was dying.
Today had actually been a good day so far; he had woken to the smell of coffee rather than his roommate’s horrid screeching in the shower, he had actually made it to class on time, and he had gotten to pet three dogs on the walk to campus.
So when that hottie with the permanent bed hair showed up with half his head shaved and scowled at the whiteboard, Bokuto was sure today was a gift from above. He hid his grin in his arm and settled in for what was sure to be an enjoyable class period.
Kuroo glared at the clock, willing it to finish its trek to 9:45. The second it did, he shot out of his chair and stormed up the aisle and out the door, ignoring the snickers following him. Calculus was his only in-person class today, and he was sure as hell going to spend all that free time making sure Oikawa and all his minions regretted the day they were born. He made it to Oikawa’s apartment building in record time and was slamming his fist against the door by the time he had fully formulated a plan.
“Open up, Trash King, I got a bone to pick with you!” he yelled.
“What kind of awful line was that?”
“No, don’t open the door, Iwa-chan! Tetsu-chan will kill me!”
“Hold him down, Makki.”
“Rest in peace, captain.”
“Iwa-chaaaaan-“
Kuroo listened to the bickering inside as he waited for Iwaizumi to open the door. He gave the shorter man a nod and stalked over to where Oikawa was being held down by two of his cronies. He narrowed his eyes as he watched the two of them struggle to keep straight faces.
“Which one of you did it?” he snarled.
“Now, Tetsu-chan-“
“Which. One.” Oikawa’s eyes widened and his face turned white.
“Oh my god, tell me it was one of you!” Kuroo whirled around to see Oikawa’s roommate doubled over in the doorway, leaning on Iwaizumi for support.
“Kou-chan, help!” Oikawa screeched. “He’s going to kill me!”
“You deserve it,” Kou-chan said with a shrug, straightening and walking into the kitchen. “Though it’s almost a good look for you,” he added with a wink in Kuroo’s direction. Kuroo winked back on reflex before returning his attention to the couch. The minions had deserted Oikawa, who was cowering next to the arm.
“Oikawa, come on, man,” Kuroo groaned.
“Hey, I’ll buy you dinner if you don’t kill my roommate.” Kou-chan reentered the living room with a can of beer and flopped on the opposite side of the couch from Oikawa. “Not that I blame you, but I kinda need him to pay his half of the rent.” Kou-chan smirked at him and settled back in the couch.
“That’s fair,” Kuroo said and flopped down next to him with a shrug. He leaned over Oikawa and grabbed a slice of pizza from the table next to him.
“So you’re not going to kill me?” Oikawa whimpered.
“Nah todah,” Kuroo mumbled. Oikawa stared at the two of them with wide eyes and slowly lifted himself off the couch. “’M Kuroo,” he said, holding a lazy hand out to Kou-chan.
“Bokuto,” Kou-chan answered, slapping his palm. He snatched the remote and turned the tv on to some American action movie. Kuroo kicked his feet up onto the coffee table to watch, accepting a drink from Bokuto’s beer.
“Oh my god, Iwa-chan, I’ve done a horrible thing.” Oikawa clung to Iwaizumi’s sleeve, peering around the corner into the living room.
“I thought you wanted to set them up,” Iwaizumi grumbled.
“No, Iwa-chan, we’ve created a monster.” Iwaizumi snorted and hooked an arm around Oikawa’s neck.
“Come on, Shittykawa, leave them be.”