Work Text:
8-22-15
Prompt: fighting a squirrel AU
Pairing: BoKuroo
Rating: T
Kuroo had to admit, he had done some stupid things in his day. Challenging Karasuno’s shrimp to a drunken karaoke duel, scaling the outside of his university’s business school, drinking four glasses of milk in less than twenty minutes. He was pretty sure Kenma had an actual, physical list somewhere that he liked to take out and show people who thought Kuroo was cool.
Kuroo was an idiot, sure. But at least he had never tried to fight a squirrel.
When he’d heard rumors around the dorms of some guy fighting woodland creatures in a nearby park, he brushed them off as collegiate hearsay. If the rumors were true, whatever poor sap they were about would regain his sanity once finals were over, and that would be the end of it. If not, Kuroo wasn’t going to waste his time investigating.
It was really coincidence that brought him to the park one hot Tuesday a week before the end of the semester. The dorms had started to fill with the tension of finals week, and all his usual haunts around campus were full of students either sobbing, studying, or sleeping. He had been forced to branch out, and had happened upon a little wooded jogging path and decided to stay for an hour or two.
He had been lounging and trying to look unaffectedly cool in the branches of a massive tree when he appeared. The white and black spiky hair would normally have been enough to catch Kuroo’s interest, but it was the way he glared suspiciously at a particular bush that really made Kuroo pay attention.
“Alright, you asshole,” he told the bush, “I know you’re in there. Come out here and let’s settle this.” Kuroo bit his lip to stifle a laugh as the man kicked the bush.
Faster than thought, a brown furry thing streaked out from under it and launched itself at the strange man. It scaled him in a flash and, Kuroo presumed, began attempting to eat him from the hair down. Squirrel boy thrashed and batted at the squirrel, but Kuroo could tell who had the upper hand.
By this time there was a small crowd gathered in the park. People were leaning against trees and standing in small clumps as they took in the spectacle before them. Kuroo watched with a smirk as Squirrel boy managed to get ahold of his foe and stuff him in his hoodie pocket, and the crowd thinned out. Kuroo dropped out of the tree and wandered over to him.
“So,” he said. Squirrel boy looked up at him with a sunshine smile. “Is there a reason you’re harassing fluffy critters?”
“He’s my roommate’s pet,” Squirrel Boy answered. “Fucker keeps running away, and I promised Tanaka I’d find him, since he hates me.”
“As I can see.” Kuroo plopped down on the ground next to Squirrel Boy, and was immediately beset by the squirrel himself. It scampered up his shirt sleeve and settled in the crook of his shoulder.
“Traitor,” Squirrel Boy muttered. “I’m the one who feeds you, you know. If it weren’t for me Tanaka and Noya would’ve killed you by now.” Kuroo laughed, nuzzling the squirrel with his cheek.
“I’m Kuroo,” he said.
“Bokuto,” answered the other. “I’m assuming you have a reason for this introduction.”
“A few,” Kuroo answered. “One, I would like to meet this roommate and find out why on Earth he thinks a squirrel makes a good pet. Two, I’m bored out of my skull and can’t stay on campus any longer without killing someone. And three, it would be a shame if this guy scratched up that pretty face before I got to take it on a date.” Bokuto whistled.
“Smooth,” he commented.
“I try.”