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A knock came at the door and Luz jumped. She’d been staring at a news article on her laptop for a long time. She had closed her eyes to think about it and had drifted into a spiral of thoughts that chased each other around and around in her head.
“Come in,” she said as she opened her eyes and spun around in her desk chair.
The door opened and Masha came in. They had their softball jersey on over dark black skinny jeans. When they turned to close the door Luz saw it was actually Vee’s JV jersey from the previous year with ‘Noceda’ printed above Vee’s number 5. Luz smiled; she should have known it was Vee’s jersey since Vee was wearing Masha’s 08 jersey from last year when she went to school that morning.
“Got a moment?” Masha asked. Luz nodded and Masha sat down on Luz’s bed across from her.
“What’s up?” Luz asked.
“I have a favor to ask you, but I think it’s going to be hard for you.” Masha sighed.
“Anything for you,” Luz said.
“Don’t say that too soon.” Masha blinked slowly, obviously screwing up courage.
“Oh no! You’re breaking up with Vee!” Luz’s mind immediately leapt to the worst thing.
Masha’s eyes snapped open.
“No, no, no, never!”
“No, it’s about that.” They pointed at Luz’s laptop.
Luz didn’t turn around. She knew what was on the screen.
“Yeah, it sucks.” She twisted in her chair and closed the lid on her laptop.
She sat with her back to Masha.
“What about it?” Luz finally asked.
Masha hesitated, then spoke firmly.
“Look, I know you’re not just a big fan. I know you’re actually a big name fan: Luzura1. I know you run the Good Witch Azura fanfiction archive and the ‘I Love Hecate’s Three Faces’ fan club page.”
Luz spun around so fast she almost fell off her chair.
“What? How?” She put her hands up on her face.
“Vee told me. She learned when you were away in the Demon Realm. You left your laptop open and she saw. She wasn’t prying; she just saw it. She told me. She probably shouldn’t have, but I can’t un-know it now.”
Luz sighed.
“Not her fault. What’s the favor?” She dreaded what Masha was going to say, already knowing the answer.
“As president of the GHQA, I think you have a duty to denounce her and make our position on this clear.”
“I—I know I do, but it’s hard. The Good Witch Azura meant so much to me; it was the book my dad gave me before…” Tears filled her eyes.
Masha reached over and took her hand.
“I know.” They squeezed Luz’s hand and Luz gripped their hand tightly, almost painfully.
“I can’t believe Mildred Featherwhyle’s a TERF.” Now the tears spilled down Luz’s cheeks.
“I mean, people have seen it coming for a while, looking at her Twitter likes and who she was following on social media. I didn’t want to believe it. I defended her when people started figuring it out and I should have known better; I saw the same links and likes they did.” Luz grabbed a tissue from the desk and wiped her eyes.
“But this…this is just out there. She really said that trans women are just perverts; that they just want to invade women’s spaces. That they just want to take women’s rights.” Luz’s voice was thick, not just with sadness, but anger, too.
“I hate to ask it of you, but coming from Luzura1 , it would have a lot more impact.” Masha leaned over and squeezed Luz’s hand again.
“I wish we’d met at the summer camp, too,” Luz said.
Masha laughed.
“But then you’d never have met Amity and I’d never have met Vee, so no to that.” They smiled at Luz.
“Yeah, but I wish we’d been friends then, too. I feel like I missed a good year.”
“Nah, you just had that good year in the Demon Realm.”
Masha stood.
“I’ll leave you alone, but if you need me, just text…or call if you must.”
Luz laughed. Masha never answered calls and often left texts on read for hours unless it was Vee; everyone knew it.
Masha got up and left. Luz slid over to the door, locked it and turned out the light. She sat in the dim twilight until it got dark, then she opened her laptop and started typing. She’d only been at it for a few minutes when Camila called up for dinner. Luz made sure her work was saved, locked her screen and went down to dinner. She immediately noticed that it was just her and Camila.
“No Vee?” Luz asked.
“She’s staying with Masha tonight.” Camila’s voice was too bright, too cheery.
“Is she afraid that I’m mad at her?” Luz asked.
“No, no,” Camila said, still too cheerily.
“I’m going to break the ‘no phones at dinner’ rule for a moment,” Luz said and pulled out her phone. She texted Vee.
Hey, not mad at you. If I’d seen something like that I’d have told Amity. ILY.
Vee texted back immediately.
ILY too…Sis
Luz laughed, Vee called her sis sometimes and it just made Luz smile, but it also made her crack up for some reason that she couldn’t say.
“Everything okay?” Camila asked.
“Yeah, just telling Vee that I love her and I’m not mad.” She put her phone away.
Camila sat down, took Luz’s hand and said a silent grace. Luz kept respectfully silent, but no longer bowed her head. Camila finished, let go of Luz’s hand and they dug in. Vee had made a rosemary-garlic sourdough bread that smelled amazing when Luz cut it, and Camila had made a seafood stew that was somewhere between a sancocho and a gumbo. They ladled it into bowls and sopped it up with their bread.
“What’s wrong?” Camila asked after a moment.
“Nothing’s…” Luz started to say, but Camila wagged her spoon at Luz.
“C’mon.”
“It’s Mildred Featherwhyle.” Luz’s spoon clanked back into her bowl as she dropped it.
“Oh, I saw that horrible stuff she said on Twitter.” Camila took Luz’s hand again and squeezed it. Luz squeezed back then returned to her food. She stirred the stew around and around in her bowl, just like the thoughts in her head earlier. The beautiful bread that Vee had made disintegrated into the stew.
“You should eat, mija.” Camila put her hand on Luz’s again to stop her.
“Sorry.” Luz ate a few bites, then put down her spoon and stared down at her bowl.
“It’s just that this is eating me up inside. Those books meant so much to me; dad gave me my first one. They made me realize it’s okay to be different, to be gay; to be bi; to be queer . They’re how I connected with Amity, and also with all the people on my websites. I looked up to her and now I see she’s not a good person like I thought she was.”
She sighed and ate another bite, then put her spoon down again.
“I don’t know what to do.” Tears sparkled at the corner of her eyes again.
“Just do what you know’s right in your heart. You’ll know when and how. Talk to your friends in the Queer Alliance; they’ll help.”
“Yeah.” Luz picked up her spoon again, but just stirred her stew around and around again. Finally, she stood up.
“I can’t eat right now. Sorry, mamá.” She covered her bowl with a lid and put it in the fridge.
“It’s okay. Let me know if I can help.” Camila stood and hugged Luz as she left the kitchen. Luz hugged her back tightly then went back to her room.
She closed and locked the door, sat at her desk and opened the laptop. She opened a new document and watched the cursor blink on the blank page.
On Off On Off On Off On Off
She shut her eyes, put her head in her hands and sobbed in the blinking light. When she looked up to get a tissue, she saw that nearly an hour had passed. She wiped her face, tossed the tissue in the garbage, and touched Amity’s photo. “Te amo, batata,” she whispered.
She touched the photo of Vee in her dirt-streaked softball uniform smiling next to Masha.
“Te amo, hermana.”
She closed her eyes for just a moment more and started typing. The words flowed in a torrent, a flood that spilled on the digital page. She didn’t pause to edit, but wrote from the heart. When she was done, she opened her contact list for the GHQA and sent her draft to all of them. Then she opened her DMs on her websites and contacted all of the moderators. Now, all she could do was wait. Almost immediately, her phone began to chime with notifications. Almost everyone told her to run with what she’d written. Some told her she was being reactionary. Some told her that she should wait and see if Mildred Featherwhyle retracted what she’d said. Two of the moderators for the Hecate fansite quit, one because they couldn’t support Mildred Featherwhyle anymore and the other because they thought Luz was betraying women to ‘the trannies and perverts.’ Luz wondered how they’d ever been a fan of The Good Witch Azura in the first place.
Vee texted her.
Looks good to me. Masha has some sources they’re gonna send you. I know this hurts, but it means a lot to both Masha and me
Luz half-smiled around a new set of tears. She’d just started to do some light editing when Masha’s list of sources arrived. She used info from some of them and added the links to the end of her posts. She started editing more heavily based on the feedback she’d gotten. She only realized she was hungry when her stomach growled and Stringbean woke up from her perch in the corner and flicked her tongue at Luz. Luz smiled at Stringbean and she leapt from her shelf onto Luz’s shoulder.
“You’re right; I should go eat.” She looked at the clock on her laptop. She’d been at it for hours. She knew she’d miss school tomorrow, but she also knew that her mom would understand. Luz crept downstairs to the kitchen, heated her leftover stew in the microwave and when it was almost done, threw a piece of the bread on top of it for the last few seconds. She could feel Vee’s disapproving stare about microwaving bread instead of toasting it even though Vee wasn’t here; she took her baking seriously and microwaving bread was a sin in Vee’s eyes.
Luz sat down at the kitchen table and ate mechanically, shoveling the stew and bread in. Stringbean rattled in her ear and she slowed down to enjoy her mother’s and Vee’s cooking. She held up pieces for Stringbean, who ate some of the vegetables, but none of the seafood. She’d never gotten a good answer if Palismen actually needed to eat, but Stringbean enjoyed it so Luz fed her.
She heard her mother’s steps on the stairs and a moment later, Camila sat down next to her.
“Have you slept at all?”
Luz shook her head.
“Nope, I’m acting like Hunter.”
Camila laughed at that. Getting Hunter to sleep was a chore. When he and Willow got married, Luz didn’t envy Willow Hunter’s restlessness.
Luz’s phone kept chiming with notifications, but she turned it upside down and the noise stopped.
Camila tapped it.
“Are those your mods?”
“And my friends from the GHQA. They’re replying to the draft I wrote of what I’m going to post on my sites.”
She finished her stew and put her bowl in the sink. Stringbean leapt off onto Camila who stroked her. Stringbean forced her way under Camila’s sleeping cap and Camila laughed at the Palisman on her head; Stringbean was just as silly and loving as her daughter.
“A couple of the mods quit and one of them said she’s going to post about what I’m doing on her personal website. She threatened to dox me.”
She turned to Camila.
“I’m going to probably have to dox myself to put this out, but I don’t want to hurt your business or you.”
“Oh, honey, it’ll be okay. We’re in Connecticut, not Texas. I won’t lose much if any business. Will you be safe?”
Luz shrugged.
“I’m not scared of trolls anymore; I think Grom cured me of that…or maybe monster-Belos did, I don’t know.”
“Do what you need to. We’ll deal with the fallout.” Camila stood and hugged Luz again.
“I have one more favor, mamá. Could I tell the story you told me about the Gay and Lesbian club at Manderlin College?”
Camila went stiff in Luz’s arms while she thought about it. Stringbean poked her head out from under Camila’s sleeping cap and flicked her tongue at Luz. Camila saw it out of the corner of her eye and relaxed.
“It’s been long enough. You can tell that story.”
“Thank you.” Luz squeezed her mom tighter and Stringbean slithered onto Luz’s shoulder.
Luz went back to her room and spent the rest of the night typing away. When Camila checked on her in the morning, Luz was slumped over her desk on folded arms with Stringbean watching over her from the closed laptop. Camila put a blanket over Luz, petted Stringbean and went downstairs to call the school and tell them that Luz wouldn’t be there today.
When Luz woke up that morning, she wiped her eyes, stroked Stringbean, who went to sleep on her corner shelf, then picked up her phone. She made her way through all the notifications and then made a last few edits to her docs before finalizing and posting them. Now all she could do was wait for the fallout.
Post to the Good Witch Azura Fanfiction Archive and the I Love Hecate’s Three Faces fansite
—by Luzura1
It is with a very sad and heavy heart that I must announce that I will be discontinuing these sites. I will leave them up for one more month so those who wish can backup their works and/or migrate them to other sites. I can no longer support Mildred Featherwhyle’s outrageous attacks on our queer siblings. I started this site five years ago with Hecate’s_Gay_Lover324 and QueerMalinGale, both of whom have moved on from the fandom.
I will not repeat Mildred Featherwhyle’s vicious, thoughtless screed here, but I must denounce it in the strongest terms possible. Trans women are women, not men trying to invade women’s spaces or take women’s rights. When one group finally becomes equal, it does not take your rights away. Those who fought for those rights should be happy that others are now treated fairly instead of turning them away and preventing them from achieving equality. When you ally yourselves with people who harm others because of who they are they will turn on you, too: the leopards will eat your face too, as the meme says.
This is especially sad to me because of what the Good Witch Azura books mean to me. When I was twelve, my father gave me the first book while he was in chemo. He passed away soon after and I cherished this book as the last, best gift he gave me. I saw myself in Azura: a neurodivergent person of color trying to make it in a world that didn’t understand her. I was bullied in school just like Azura was at the Witch Academy. When Hecate was introduced as her rival, and later friend (and if the queer-baiting subtext is to be credited, girlfriend) I saw myself there, also. I was just realizing that I was bisexual and attracted to girls, too. My counselor said it was healthy to see myself in fiction, but not to let it consume me.
I let it consume me.
I became obsessed with it. It awakened me to who I was. I met my girlfriend through our shared interest in it; I hope she’ll be my fiancée soon. I know she’ll support my decision to discontinue this site and that she’ll be just as disappointed and disillusioned in Mildred Featherwhyle.
Before any of you cry that this is ‘cancel culture,’ I’m not canceling anyone. I’m not silencing her voice to spout her insane and transphobic theories. I am merely using my own (small compared to her) soap box to shout her down. No longer supporting someone is not canceling them. You are free to follow your own conscience. If you want to shout her down, too, then we are allies. If you support her, then you have that right to be wrong, but I hope that eventually you will see that hate must always lose to love…or maybe the leopard will eat your face also.
I love you all, even the ones who disagree with me; you all have been a big part of my life. I will miss you and I’ll miss reading your fanfiction, headcanons and crack theories. But, it is time to move on and make my stance clear.
Trans rights are human rights.
Trans women are women.
Trans men are men.
Queer people deserve equality: Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Trans, Queer, Aro, Ace, Non-Binary, Gender Non-conforming: We are all equal.
We all must stand together and face the hate together, or we will be divided and fall.
These are truths that I must abide by.
Post on the Gravesfield High Queer Alliance webpage—by Luz Noceda, president GHQA
As president of the Gravesfield High Queer Alliance, I must post our objections to Mildred Featherwhyle’s latest attacks on our trans siblings. Her depiction of trans women as ‘perverts and usurpers of womens (sic) hard-earned rights’ must be called out as the hot garbage that it is. There is no evidence of an increase in crimes by trans women, no increase in assaults related to gender-neutral bathrooms and changing rooms. Indeed, trans individuals are more likely to be victims of assault or sexual assault. HALF of all transgender people report being assaulted or sexually assaulted…HALF…let that sink in.
We at the GHQA call for tolerance and love for our trans siblings. Trans women are women, trans men are men, trans rights are human rights, trans people have the same rights as everyone else. These are non-negotiable terms. We at the GHQA call for Mildred Featherwhyle to recant her past statements and instead support trans rights. Trans women are not ‘usurpers’ who are trying to horn in on women’s rights: they are women and had those rights already, the same rights as all women…as all people.
Now, to personal notes.
As many of you know, I am a huge Good Witch Azura fan. As only a few of you know, I am a co-founder of “The Good Witch Azura fanfiction archive” and the “I Love Hecate’s Three Faces’ website. I am discontinuing those sites and giving people a month to find other homes for their fanfictions, art and fan theories. This was a difficult decision for me personally, as I got into the fandom through my dad. He gave me the first book while he was going through chemo and I fell in love with it.
I saw myself in Azura. She was also a neurodivergent person of color trying her best to fit in with classmates who bullied her. She only realized her power when she accepted herself. It took a long time for me to do that, but I did along with the help of these books that showed how. I met my girlfriend through shared interest in the books (some of you have met Amity and love her, too). The books through their queer subtext (I’m sure I didn’t imagine it, as so many other fans see it, too) helped me come to terms with being bi.
As a community we should stand together and support our trans siblings against this hate. Don’t let hate divide us. The hate from Mildred Featherwhyle is especially tragic in light of her own background as an advocate for gay and lesbian rights. Now, she would rip the TQIA+ from our LGBTQIA+ alliance. We cannot let this come to pass.
My mother gave me permission to share a story that happened to her in college.
My mother went to Manderlin college in the late 90s and wanted to join the Gay and Lesbian club, but because she was in a relationship with a man, a cis-facing relationship, they wouldn’t let her join. They said ‘she wasn’t really bi, if she was with a man.’ This is the kind of division that TERFs like Mildred Featherwhyle are trying to make in the LGBTQA+ community. In my other posts, I referenced the ‘leopards eating my face’ meme, and it’s still appropriate here. When you ally yourself with those who harm people for perceived differences, they will turn on you: they will eat your face, metaphorically. We must all stand together in a united front and thus the Gravesfield High Queer Alliance must stand united and let our credo be shouted.
Trans rights are human rights.
Trans women are women.
Trans men are men.
Queer people deserve equality: Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Trans, Queer, Aro, Ace, Non-Binary, Gender Non-conforming, we are all equal.
We all must stand together and face the hate together, or we will be divided and fall.
If you need help here are some resources to reach out to:https://www.crisisconnections.org/24-hour-crisis-line/
If you’re feeling suicidal, call or text 988 (in the US)
Just after school let out that day, Luz’s phone started playing the song, “Basilisk” by Geno Lazeretti and she snatched it up. It was Vee’s custom ringtone and like Masha, Vee didn’t often call, preferring to text.
“Hey, sis,” Vee said.
“Hey,” Luz said, her voice low.
“You okay? You sound tired.”
“I was up all night writing.” Luz put the phone on speaker and put it on her desk.
“I noticed. Masha and I both appreciate what you did and I know it must have hurt, but it means a lot to them and me.”
“Thanks, Vee. It was the right thing. Sometimes the right thing hurts, you know?”
“Yeah.”
Vee paused and there was silence.
“If you don’t want to be alone you can come to Masha’s. I’m going to make spaghetti squash with that spicy tomato sauce you like and we’re going to play some Super Smash Brothers.”
Luz looked at the unread notifications on her phone and decided they could wait a little bit longer.
“Yeah, sounds good. I’ll be there around 6. Mom will enjoy having the place to herself for once, too, probably.”
“Okay, we’ll see you around six.”
“Vee, I love you; I’m glad you’re my sister.”
“Aw, I love you, too, Luz. Basilisk hug!”
“Stringbean says ‘shapeshifter hug pile!” back at you.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
Luz texted her mom that she was going to eat at Masha’s and Camila would have the house to herself. She texted back a hug emoji a few minutes later.
Luz wanted Amity badly, but the portal’s scheduled opening wasn’t for two more days and they’d agreed to limit the number of emergency openings and this was painful, but not an emergency. Luz sat on her bed for a few minutes more, then got up to go shower away the previous day’s evil thoughts and the previous night’s bad dreams.
When she got to Masha’s, Vee greeted her at the door with a big hug, which Masha joined a moment later. The apartment smelled of roasting squash, spicy tomato sauce and garlic bread.
“Thank you,” Luz told both of them when they broke the hug.
“You’re welcome…sis,” Vee said.
Luz knew it would never be perfect , but with people who loved you like this, it could be better.