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It was the height of summer and yet again they all found themselves in the basement of Mike’s house, snacking whatever Karen Wheeler would bring down to them, still fussing over them as if they were children.
They weren’t doing anything in particular today, truthfully it felt too hot to even move around. Will found himself on the couch pressed near Mike, who was going on about how Junior year was going to be “ absolutely terrible ”
“Think about it-” He said, moving his arms about for emphasis, “It’s the grades college admissions will mostly look at, the courses are harder, and we have to take the SAT.”
Will’s face pursed at that, he wasn’t excited to take tests at all. He didn’t want to think about that. Not for another couple of months, ideally. Mike always loved worrying before he needed to.
“Jeez, way to be a buzzkill Wheeler,” Max rolled her eyes, “Junior year is also the time to have fun!”
“I like having fun, I’d rather do that than worry about tests,” El chimes in, nodding to Max.
“We should go to parties this year,” Lucas said, “We’re upperclassmen now,”
“Maybe that’ll loosen Mike up,” Dustin giggles.
“He can even find someone to kiss, the only girl that’s kissed him has been El after all,” Max teased, and Mike shot daggers at her with his gaze.
“Yeah yeah, make fun of the guy who hosts the hangouts. I feed you all and this is how you treat me?”
“You don’t do shit,” Lucas said, “ Karen feeds us.”
Will giggled at that.
“Wait, have you seriously only ever kissed El,” Dustin asked, bringing the conversation back in. Mike shifts uncomfortably in his seat, he’d obviously rather be talking about anything else, “Um, yeah? I mean haven’t you only ever kissed Suzie?”
Dustin just sighs as if Mike were a child, “I’m still dating Suzie, it’s romantic that we’re each other’s first kiss. It’s totally different.”
“Whatever. It’s not like everyone else has been kissing loads of people. Will hasn’t even had his first kiss yet!”
Will’s eyes widened and he almost choked on his own spit, his eyes immediately roaming over to Lucas, who’s already looking at Will with a similar look of disbelief on his face. Neither of them were expecting Mike to randomly announce that.
Mike, of course, noticed Will and Lucas looking at each other, “What is it?”
“Uhhh,” Will got out, unintelligibly.
Lucas kind of just giggled awkwardly, “Dude.”
“What?” Mike asked, “Wait… he has?” He looked at Will, “You had your first kiss? When? Why didn’t you tell me, Will?”
“Woah, calm down buddy,” Dustin said, “I didn’t know either. It’s not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal? We’re a party! We’re supposed to tell each other stuff like that.” Mike was honest to God pouting and Will had no clue what to even say. It’s not like he can just lie about this, not to Mike. Mike would immediately catch him in it.
Max glares at the boy, “Let it go, if Will wants to tell you he will.”
—
Will doesn’t tell Mike about it, not then. If it was a simple first kiss with a girl, maybe. But of course it wasn’t with a girl and Will didn’t know how to explain, or if it even was okay to explain. He wasn’t really sure and it felt a little embarrassing to ask.
Mike doesn’t just let it go. Of course not. That’d just be too easy and things in Will’s life are always anything but that. Sometimes he does it when they’re alone hanging out, but also around the party. Lucas has the same awkward reaction each time. Until finally, one day Lucas showed up at Will’s door.
“I’m okay telling them about it if you are.” Lucas said, and it looked like he meant it. Shouldn’t he be embarrassed about it? Shouldn’t he want to hide the fact that it even happened? He assumed that’s what Lucas had been doing this whole time, why they never really talked about that night.
—
It was the summer before Will’s life became massively fucked up- intertwined with an alternate dimension and evil creatures that are straight out of a horror movie. It was the summer, Dustin was out at camp and Mike was visiting family a few states over.
Lucas and Will decided to have an impromptu sleepover- just the two of them. They never really had a sleepover alone, there was always Dustin or Mike. If Will did have a sleepover with just one of the party members, it was only Mike. So it felt a bit strange coming over to Lucas’s house and laying his sleeping bag down on the floor next to Lucas’s bed. He felt a bit nervous, but he always feels a little nervous around Lucas.
Lucas’s parents were really cool, and they obviously were in love with each other. Not like how it was with his parents- who constantly fought when they were together. They weren’t like Mike’s parents either, just ignoring each other. They were calling each other sweet names and laughing together. It was nice to see.
Will wished he could have something like that.
After dinner, Lucas grabbed him by the hand and dragged them upstairs to his room, talking about all the things he planned for tonight. Will turned red at all the undivided attention he was receiving from Lucas.
If Will was being honest, Lucas was really cute. He’d always thought that in the back of his head, but once he realized he liked boys it just made sense. The nerves he felt around Lucas were the ‘butterflies’ that the girls at school would describe feeling about boys. To be honest, Will thought it felt more like a stomachache, as if he were about to throw up. Maybe the girls just wanted to make it sound nicer or something.
Having a crush on Lucas was scary and exciting all at once. It was scary because Will knew intrinsically that he wasn’t supposed to like boys, especially not in Hawkins. He was beaten enough by men and boys in his life for it. Still, liking Lucas just made sense. Lucas was the epitome of cool, but he was also nerdy and made Will laugh more than anyone else (although Dustin almost ties him in that regard). Lucas was also really caring towards everyone, no matter what.
Sometimes he wishes he was more like Lucas.
Will liked when Lucas looked at him or talked to him, he liked his attention and when they were in school sometimes he’d lose focus of the teachers’ lectures and find himself staring.
He didn’t ever plan on telling Lucas his feelings. He wasn’t even sure what to do with them. It’s not like he wanted to go on dates with Lucas or kiss or hold hands. He just enjoyed liking Lucas and didn’t really expect anything to come out of it. Lucas is handsome to look at, but that’s all it is. That’s all it could be.
As they were laying on his bed reading his X-Men comics, Lucas bumped his shoulders against Will and shot him a shy smile. Will grinned back and bumped his shoulders too.
Lucas laughed lightly, “Hey, so are you excited for middle school?”
Will thought about it, and shrugged, “I dunno, are you?”
Lucas nodded, “Yes, isn’t cool we’re in middle school now? We’re growing up.”
Will thinks he doesn’t want to grow up, but he doesn’t tell Lucas that. You’re supposed to like growing up, but growing up has meant realizing more and more just how different from everyone else you are.
“I hope everyone’s nice.” Will finally supplied.
“Me too,” Lucas sighed. Both of them have dealt with their share of bullying, for things that they can’t really change. Things that are just a part of them. It wasn’t fair. If those mouthbreathers just had one conversation with Lucas they’d see how awesome he was and they’d come running to apologize.
“But hey,” Lucas perks up, “Maybe we’ll find girlfriends or something,” He waggled his eyebrows in a classically Lucas way that never fails to make Will smile.
“I just want to have my first kiss already,” Lucas sighed.
“I’m kind of scared of that,” Will admits, “I don’t think I’ll do a good job.”
“Me neither. But we should just get it out of the way.”
“How do we do that?” Will asked, confused. It’s not like girls were lining up to kiss them. Will doesn’t even want them to.
“Let’s kiss each other.” Lucas said, the usual confidence in his voice was slightly waivered, but he was looking at Will so calmly you’d think he just asked if they should eat chips or something.
“Sorry, what?” Will exclaims, he must be hearing wrong. That’s the only logical explanation.
“Only if you want!” Lucas tacked on, “I think it’d be nice.”
Will thinks he might’ve been transported into an alternate dimension because this couldn’t be real. Lucas was offering to kiss him? Didn’t he know what people said about stuff like that? He’s heard what they called Will.
Maybe he just means it in a practice-kissing way. They could kiss each other so they weren’t nervous when they kissed real life girls. That made more sense. It’s not like Lucas actually wants to kiss him.
“Oh.” Will said, “Okay. Yeah, we should.”
Lucas nods, a smile on his face now, “Great!”
The boy turns in his bed, facing Will. Will suddenly starts feeling sweat in his palms. It’s the nerves. He didn’t go into tonight thinking he’d have his first kiss, especially not with Lucas. It almost felt like a dream.
Will turns too, and they’re now face to face with each other. Lucas goes to grab Will’s hands, holding them to stop them from shaking. He didn’t even realize they were doing that.
“Relax, it’s just me.” Lucas said, looking straight into Will’s eyes.
Will can only nod with an open mouth, words not able to form. Holy shit he was going to kiss Lucas Sinclair. Lucas Sinclair is going to be Will Byers first kiss.
Lucas squeezes his hand in reassurance and Will takes a breath before they both find themselves leaning in, their chapped lips touching together softly.
They both stilled at the touch, obviously they’re both nervous about this. Will thinks their nerves are probably different though. Lucas isn’t like him.
He doesn’t like boys.
But Will goes with it because he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to kiss another boy again. Hawkins wasn’t exactly full of boys that liked boys, and Will doesn’t think they’d like him anyways.
He probably won’t ever get to fall in love, but kissing Lucas Sinclair after spending the day with his family and reading comics together felt kind of close to it.
They start to move their lips together, Will can still feel Lucas’s grip on his hands, firm and grounding him to reality. He honestly thinks he’d float away without that touch.
Will finally understands why kissing is so popular, especially in those TV shows his mom likes. He always thought it looked kind of gross. It seemed odd to him, why did people like kissing anyways? It was weird that we show affection by mushing our faces together.
Again, he gets it now.
He almost didn’t believe it was Lucas’s first kiss, because Lucas seemed good at it. But when they broke apart and Lucas’s grip on Will went away, Will knew it was his too.
He looked just as nervous when he sighed and asked Will, “Was that a good kiss?”
Will nods and stutters out, “Yeah!”
“Good,” Lucas smiled, “You’re a good kisser, Byers.”
He felt himself turning red at the compliment from his friend, but managed to get out, “You too, Sinclair.”
—
Of course, after their kiss they never talked about it again. Some days, Will thought it was more of a fever dream rather than a factual thing that happened to him. It never was awkward between the two of them after, they just went on as usual, just with the new experience of having kissed someone.
After all these years, Will minimized it, almost going so far as to think it didn’t really count. I mean, yeah, Will had a big crush on Lucas, but for Lucas it was not serious at all. He just wanted to know how to kiss someone and Will was there. Will didn’t think Lucas would count it, or even want to bring it up.
Will knows the party won’t be mad about it. They aren’t like that. Part of the reason they’re all friends is because they all were outcasts in one way or another. Kissing another boy isn’t friendship ending in the grand scheme of everything, not after all they’ve been through as a group.
That’s part of the reason he decided to just do it, let Lucas tell them. But also, he wants to tell the truth too, that he’s gay. It just makes sense to do it now, and Will knows he’s finally ready. He’s not scared anymore, he’s done hiding.
Again, like all of their summer days, it’s in the basement. It’s really their second home, at the annoyance of one Ted Wheeler. Will feels comfortable here, and safe.
“I’m gay.” He just says, no preamble, no buildup. He didn’t know how to ease into that conversation, so he just blurted it out. Everyone looked at him with wide eyes and shocked expressions, until they processed it.
The sweet words and reassurances from all his friends, as well as the hugs poured out of them. He loved his friends so much and now they felt even closer, somehow.
“Um, so about Will’s first kiss.” Lucas said a bit later.
“What?” Mike immediately asked, his curiosity over this topic apparent.
“It was actually me. I couldn’t say anything because… yeah.” Lucas said.
Will smiled and nodded. He looked over, and saw Mike was practically shell-shocked. Dustin looked kind of surprised too. The girls were just giggling about it. Will thinks Max must’ve probably known. Lucas and Max talk to each other about everything and she doesn’t seem all that phased.
Will also told El the other week when it came up that he had his first kiss. He’s never been able to hide anything from El, she’s his sister after all. Besides, she caught on with the way he and Lucas were staring at each other like gaping fish when it happened.
“When was this?” Mike asked, his voice sounded strange but Will didn’t know why.
“When we were 12, when I stayed over at Lucas’s in the summer.” Will supplied.
“I don’t understand, don’t you like girls?” Mike asked Lucas.
Max whipped her head towards Mike, and Will knew she would’ve hit him if they were next to each other. Mike should be thankful she isn’t. Instead she just hissed out, “Mike, you can’t just say that.”
Mike looked confused, “What? It was just a question!”
“Jesus,” Dustin sighed, shaking his head.
“You can like both, you absolute idiot.” Said Max.
“I like both,” Lucas adds, “I had the biggest crush on Will back then,”
Will freezed, because what? He did NOT know that. How was Lucas just saying that like it was a casual thing. ‘I like boys and girls, and by the way I liked you, Will’ Will thinks about back then, and how he had the biggest crush on Lucas in return. What would have happened if they had known?
Will doesn’t stress on things that won’t ever happen, but also damn. Kids are really dumb. He’s dumb now, because just a few minutes ago he was still convinced Lucas only kissed him for ‘practice’. He definitely did not pick up on that crush. Not even a little.
“I didn’t know.” Will said, his voice a bit embarrassed, “I had a crush back then too.”
“You didn’t?” Lucas asked, raising a brow, “I felt like it was obvious. Why else would I want to kiss you?”
Will shrugged, not telling him about his practice-kissing theory. He thinks it’d be a little embarrassing for him. He doesn’t enjoy being teased by the rest of the party; that’s a job he’ll leave to Mike.
Speaking of Mike, the boy is oddly quiet the rest of the night. It starts to worry Will, but then again Will is constantly worried about Mike. That’s just what happens when you love someone.
If Lucas was Will’s first crush, then Mike is for sure Will’s first love. It’s honestly like a crush but on fucking steroids. Love also feels a bit more painful at times, like it hurts to be away from them and all you want is to talk to them to cheer you up.
He doesn’t know when Mike went from being his first friend, his best friend, to his crush, to someone he’s in love with. It all naturally blended together.
So yeah, he’s a loser and he notices Mike being quiet. He found himself glancing at Mike worried all night. Mike would just smile at him though and look away quickly.
After the girls left and Dustin left, Lucas finally had to leave for the night. “Hey Will, can we talk outside?” Lucas asked. Will nods, following him out the door.
“What’s up?” He asked, his hands in the pockets of his shorts.
“I remember how I felt when I had a crush on you, how I acted,” Lucas said, there was a smirk on his face that implied this conversation was going somewhere, Will just didn’t know the destination.
Will turned red, because at the end of the day it really is a nice boost to your ego to find out Lucas Sinclair of all people had a crush on you, even when you were 12 with an awkward looking bowl cut. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Which is why I know Mike has the biggest crush on you. He’s worse than I ever was. To be honest, I was always kind of jealous of you and Mike when I was a kid. But him tonight? He looked like he wanted to kill me.” Lucas was laughing, but Will didn’t find it funny.
He was wrong. “Mike isn’t like that.”
Lucas shrugged, “I don’t know. You can’t always assume. Look where it got us.”
Will nods, soaking in Lucas’s words. Deep down he knows Lucas might have a point. However, doing that will just give him unfounded hope. That’d be no good for him. It just makes the pining more painful.
“Who says I want to date Mike, anyways?” Will asked, but he knew that was a flimsy excuse. Will’s love was as clear as the skies have been all summer long.
Lucas just shoots him an unamused look, “That might work on Dustin, but it doesn’t work on me.”
Will laughs at that and nods, “Fine, but I don’t know. I don’t think Mike sees me that way.”
“Whatever man. I’ve done all I can. Just know that I’m always right.”
Will quirks his face, trying not to smile at that, “If you say so.”
“I do say so. And again, I’m right. Goodbye, Byers.” He says easily.
“Bye, Sinclair.” He said, waving him off.
“I’m glad you were my first kiss, by the way.” Lucas adds, before walking away. “Talk to Mike!”
He laughed and shook his head. Seriously, how on Earth was Lucas his first kiss? He might just be one of the coolest people, ever. Even though their crushes didn’t end up going anywhere, he’s grateful for that experience. They didn’t have to date or fall in love to genuinely care for one another. In their own way they do love each other a lot. Max is the right person for Lucas and vice versa, they get each other in a way that’s real.
It’s kind of how Will feels about Mike. Will sighed at that thought, and went back into the Wheeler’s house. He wasn’t leaving until a bit later, if at all. Sometimes Mike just offered to have him sleepover. When he gets back into the basement Mike’s head snaps up and their eyes meet.
Will shoots Mike a smile, “Hi.”
Mike returns the smile tenfold, and his voice is soft when he greets Will back, “Hi.”
Their gazes stay on each other, neither of them wanting to look away first. Maybe, just maybe Lucas was onto something… And maybe it’s worth it to find out.
He thinks he’ll listen to Lucas, because it hasn’t done him any wrong yet.