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Jason had once been a child of anger; at least, that's how too many people in his life described him. A warm heart, Alfred had said, someone whose ideals and ethics were almost unshakeable (too much like Bruce). Even so, he had never considered himself someone for jealousy; however, his possessiveness was not questioned or out of place (the boy had grown up in the city's poorest neighborhoods with perhaps the greatest economic inequality in the history of humanity). Jason never had something to call his own, so sue him when he finally got something to call his own and refused to lose it, much less give it up. Even so, it was only until he met Dick Grayson that the words jealousy and envy blurred the line that separated them. Don't get it wrong, Jason knew envy. He had known it since he was practically born. Envy of those children who could go to school and still miss out on their chance, envy of those children whose mothers took them to the park in the afternoons and nursed their wounds, envy of those who possessed the security of food for dinner and a house warm in the winter. But jealousy wasn't something Jason had felt; you can't feel jealous when as stated above, you don't have anything that belongs to you. That's why when Dick Grayson entered his life (or rather Jason entered his), he thought that the small union through Bruce (and a couple of papers that indicated him as the son of the billionaire) gave him some kind of claim on the older man. This is why when he looks at Dick, in that ridiculous baby blue and gold suit with the even more plunging neckline, for which he should be arrested for going against human decency, looking into Koriand'r's eyes as if the alien princess had given him the world, he did not know what to do with the discomfort in his belly.
Dick Grayson was perhaps the revelation of feelings that Jason never wanted to have because he wasn't ready for them. If Jason had known that having a slight crush on someone would itch his skin to take his hands, absorb the warmth and scent of him, and want to be the one to kiss his cheeks, he would have preferred not to know the feeling at all. Even so, Jason would go from his 13 through his 17 years jealousy (without right) of the princess for being the one who possessed Dick. Jason hated having met Dick when he already had another person and no place in his heart for Jason.
If there's one thing that Jason believed his death would change, it would be his feelings for Richard John Grayson, and for a brief moment, Jason thought that those feelings were the only thing left in his coffin 6 feet underground. Such a stupid notion lasted precisely as long as the green invading his vision. When the pit's rage settled to a manageable level, and Jason found himself face to face with Robin 1.0 (both in their vigilante suits, thank God for little mercies), it only took the first whisper of a broken 'little wing' to having Jason running away as if the clown was chasing him with a crowbar (again). And as if that were not enough, for some strange reason, Dick had decided that he would be the first bat; because, let's be completely honest, Alfred could be part of the bat family (even the most essential part), but without a doubt, the man was not a bat he was of his own kind, who wouldn't give up on Jason. It was the combination of Grayson's stubbornness and, no doubt, the growing sexual tension that ended with both men fucking on rooftops between patrol, yet Jason knew that it was just sex; that didn't mean Dick was his and like shit Jason would allow himself to belong to Dick. Even so, Jason couldn't stop the ugly jealousy that reared its annoying head every time one of the older man's friends got too affectionate or some member of the morally ambiguous older male harem, which Dick swore he didn't have, decided to kidnap (read have a date) with Nightwing.
Jason as a dignified boy born and raised in Crime Alley, flew out at every opportunity whenever things were getting serious because there was no chance in hell that Dick would want him, not when he had literally a long line of suitors who were undoubtedly a better option than Jason. Even if they weren't official, Jason found himself returning to Dick every time he missed the warmth of the other man's arms. When finally, and only thanks to Alfred, the relationship became exclusive, Jason had to break into the clock tower to talk to Barbara Gordon; because how the hell had Barbara handled her jealousy? There was no time in the day that there weren't people touching or asking for Dick's attention; Bruce, the fucking baby bats, friends, enemies, ex-lovers, heroes, villains, and even fucking civilians demanded Dick's attention all the damn time. ’You tell him, or you learn to live with it.’ It might not have been Barbie's wisest advice, but it's not like Jason has a better solution, either.
---
Jason had agreed to go as Dick's +1, although a meeting of Titans (and ex-Titans) was not a place for him. At least he had the presence of Kori and Roy, two of his best friends. Still, Jason must have guessed someone would ask. Although it had been practically a little over a decade since Nightwing and Starfire were old news, many in the cape community still thought they would return, eventually. Nobody said it, at least not out loud, but Nightwing and Starfire were the power couple of the capes when they were together. They were the ones who set the bar as high as couples should be (at least superhero couples). While many of the big guys would see Lois and Supes as the power couple of the capes, the secret identities left no room for many to know, unlike Dick and Kori. That is without considering that even today, Kori was not shy about sharing memories (sometimes more than intimate) of her time with Dick. Jason could swear he had learned more about his boyfriend's kinks from Kori's lips before meeting them in his own right in the bedroom.
So, when a young titan asked them about it, Kori smiled brightly, beginning to tell about their great romance trying to keep up the story PG 13 (or as PG 13 as a princess from a planet where sexual decency was not a concept) as she could. She even kissed Dick's cheek, commenting with a wink to whom she asked that she has never had a partner with her same sexual inclination besides Richard. Dick just laughed, a little red in the cheeks. When Rose Wilson appeared, Jason decided it would be an excellent time to catch up with her before hearing his friend discuss her sexual encounters with his boyfriend again. It was after perhaps half an hour that Dick returned to his side, sitting on his lap.
"God, I think Kori traumatized the new guys." Dick said with an apologetic look on his face.
"Calm down, babe. I'm sure they'll quickly learn what the ropes are like around here if they make any comments. I saw Donna sharpening her sword." Dick beamed at him before kissing his cheek very close to the corner of his lips, evaporating the knot in his belly.
---
Jason knew what it was like to be in the exact spot where the demon spawn was currently. Jason was pretty sure he was the one who started this kind of rite of passage. Damian was no longer the 10-year-old boy who had just arrived at the mansion; now, he was a 16-year-old teenager whose hormones were uncontrollable, and he had imprinted like a duckling at the first person who gave him some affection without expecting anything in return. So, the baby bat's newfound crush on, as he loved to punctuate, HIS BATMAN wasn't as out of place as some might think. Jason knew at least Tim had gone through the huge crush/hero worship on the first Robin, just like him. Lucky for Timbo that he had gotten a (sometimes annoying) blonde girlfriend in all that mess, unlike Jason, who had died, or Damian, whose other crush was, unfortunately, his alien best friend who disappeared for a couple of months only to come back five years older than him and then get a boyfriend. At the moment, all the bats decided not to use kryptonite on the brat just because he didn't know he had broken the demon's heart, although Dick did mention something about Jon no doubt having his crush on the demon spawn; but the age difference seemed to be what set him off (extra reason not to use kryptonite at the moment). The point is that Damian fucking Wayne was showing all the symptoms of finally reaching the rite of falling briefly in love with the first Robin. Jason hopes that just like Timbo and Barbie, he will get over him (preferably soon); he knows that Dick sees the baby bat as his own baby.
Jason was chatting with Duke and Cassandra, but he could definitely see Damian getting closer than necessary to Dick as he tried to pull him away from Stephanie, who was apparently joking by the laugh on Dick's face. Damian commented about the hickeys on Dick's neck, to which the older man blushed but didn't try to cover them. Jason knew that the demon spawn knew who had made them; he was only commenting so that Dick would comfort him by saying that he would not let Jason leave such visible marks again. Stephanie howled like a wolf and made a comment, and Dick looked at her in surprise for a moment. Before he could continue looking at what was happening on the other side of the room, Alfred approached Duke to inform him that Bruce was looking for him and was sitting in the chair that the other had left empty.
"Jay." Dick grumbled across the room, "I'm tired; pick me up." Jason rolled his eyes but got up to pick Dick up in bridal style and lead the older man into his old bedroom, where the older man caught him in an octopus hug.
---
Jason is pretty sure it should be possible to go on a date with your boyfriend without some jerk deciding that his boyfriend is hot and, therefore, can ask (or give) their phone number in front of Jason. And okay, Jason has lived the last decade and a half knowing how precious Dick is but fuck it, it's not like they're being subtle. They had gone out to eat; nothing fancy, just a Thai restaurant two blocks from Dick's apartment on Blüd. They were both sitting in the same booth. Dick's hands were playing with his fingers, intertwining them and gently running the pad of his finger over Jason’s callus. For the first time in the last two weeks, they weren't talking about some case or whatever kind of freak they were each dealing with; It was mundane talk about the last game of the Gotham Knights against the Metropolis Meteors and what were the chances that after almost 27 years the Knights would win the MLB.
Of course, Jason had felt the gaze of the girls a few tables away and had heard the giggling of the group, yet he didn't think any of them would be brave enough, or stupid enough, to approach them when it was pretty obvious, they were on a date. Fuck they even wore matching colors like fucking teenagers, with their first couple both wearing the same shade of green that Dick swore made his eyes stand out more, Jason wearing a shirt under his leather jacket and Dick the hoodie three sizes too big for him. because it belonged to Jason.
"Sorry, my name is Meredith, and I wanted to tell you that you are very hot and ask you out." Meredith would no doubt get a warning from the Red Hood about crashing on other people's dates.
"Fuck you; he’s not interested and taken." Jason didn't even let Dick turn her down nicely. This was their date, and they hadn't been on one in four months (and no Netflix and chill at Dick's apartment doesn't count as a date, and Jason wasn't even making an innuendo here).
"With how hot he is, it doesn't surprise me. Besides, I'm not asking to be her girlfriend; I want to sleep with him." Jason gaped at her. Really this woman was hinting that Dick was a cheater. Dick's icy gaze, even with the smile on his face, told Jason that he hadn't liked the implication either.
"As he said, I'm not interested and taken." Dick said firmly as he took Jason's hand over the table, making the message clear to which the woman looked at Jason irritated, but she left them alone.
Even if they remained their talk, the bubble of warmth was gone. Jason didn't make any move that implied being upset or irritated anymore, but Dick knew him well enough to know that his mood wouldn't go back to what it was until they were alone in Dick's apartment. Once full bellies, he called for the check, Dick didn't even let Jason take it, scowling at the note, but before allowing Jason to elaborate, he pecked his mouth, smiling softly as he set the cash on the table, and they walked away from the restaurant.
---
If Jason is completely honest, Of all Dick's harem of morally ambiguous older men, Midnighter is not the worst of them. While he is occasionally annoying and has way too many compliments on his boyfriend's perfect ass, his moral code is closer to Jason's. When they work well together, his computer brain is the best in sync with bat fighting (although Jason is retaining himself to ask how that works). Also, as a bonus, at least this man is in a committed relationship, unlike the other men. If Jason had to pick his least favorite, it would undoubtedly be Owlman. The fact that his face was almost a perfect carbon copy of Bruce's certainly opened a can of worms that Gotham had loved to exploit in Dick's youth (the headlines 'Dick Grayson the boy toy of billionaire Bruce Wayne?' would chase all bats forever).
While no one particularly liked hearing his boyfriend's butt (or any body part) praised by another man, Midnighter wouldn't be the first (much less the last) person to do so. Besides, Apollo was not mortified, upset, or apologetic for the behavior of his boyfriend; It's not like Jason didn't know that Dick had a threesome with the couple, which explained how laid-back Apollo was. When the mission ended, Jason swore he had aged five years in one night. Jason got on his motorcycle while Dick said goodbye to the couple when he heard Apollo's laugh and looked back at the three men. It was unfair for Jason to resent the fact that Dick was so comfortable with the other men that he still remembered how his moral code was a sticking point after his return from the grave, the fact that many acquaintances (and apparently friends) of Dick possessed a code similar to Jason's without receiving Dick's uncertainty or doubt stung Jason (not as much as jealousy at the images his mind conjured of Dick being held by both men but still).
"Oh, fuck you, M!" Dick said with no real anger behind his voice as he made the more mature move of sticking his tongue out at Midnighter as he walked away, climbed up behind Jason on his motorcycle, and wrapped a tight grip around his waist.
"C'mon darling; until another mission Hood, 'Wing." Apollo said goodbye, laughing at his partner.
---
Now Jason didn't have an excuse for showing up tonight beyond knowing for sure that each and every member of Gotham's elite would take advantage of Dick's appearance at the gala to put his claws on the heir to Wayne Enterprises. Legally, Jason Peter Todd-Wayne was still dead and buried in the Wayne family mausoleum, so he had appeared under the pseudonym Todd Peters. It's not like he needed an invitation to enter the manor, even if the door he used was where the elite and non-residents entered. While the porter had raised an eyebrow at Jason's presence, before he could mention that his name didn't appear on the guest list, Alfred had appeared (probably noticing his arrival through the cameras installed all over the manor), intervening and guiding him inside the manor hall with a smile on his face at all times. Jason thinks porter's face is the same as the gangster did when they were faced with his gun and helmet. By the time Jason had arrived at the Gala, it had been several hours since it had started; it was no wonder then that Tim, Cass, Damian, and Duke (lucky for Steph and Babs not to get dragged into this) seemed to wish that one of Arkahm's prisoners would suddenly appear at the Gala. Even Bruce would rather deal with the freaks than host any of these parties; he would still throw them (most likely by Alfred and Lucius' request). Jason scanned the room for his boyfriend but couldn't see him anywhere at first. He was about to approach Timbo or demon brat and ask them about the whereabouts of the big bird when he looked over at Cass, who was scowling at one part of the great room. When Jason looked in that direction, he understood why. It wasn't noticeable, much less if you didn't know Dick. To anyone at the gala, Richie Wayne was sipping his champagne while talking to another possible heir. Still, Dick was as tense as a violin string and withdrawn, as if he wanted more than anything else to get away from the boy who was undoubtedly touching him without permission. The boy was a small thing; although he was a couple of inches above Dick, he was nothing compared to most bats (Damian was the only one who still was smaller than Dick but only by a few inches), skinny like a stick and without any attractiveness. While he might have an androgynously handsome face, he didn't stand out in any way. Dirty blond hair with the most common chocolate eyes, the kind of person you didn't give more than a passing glance at a party, the kind of person who, at the end of the day, would blend into the sea of people.
Further inspection of the room told him that the behavior on display by the stranger had been going on for far too long; all the bats present were met with varying degrees of anger against the guy, even Duke, who is the calmest of them. The boy certainly didn't know boundaries; not only was he invading Dick's personal space, but his hands found themselves touching whatever extension of Dick's body he could, even as Dick struggled to quit his touch each time (without looking rude). He even made the typical romance soap opera move of combing one of Dick's hairs behind his ear, which ended up freezing Dick. All the bats knew it (even if they didn't know why). Dick hated it when people outside of a select group of his loved ones touched his head or hair, much less allowed that intimacy of allowing anyone (outside of family and the first few two generations of Titans) to comb his hair with his bare hands. Before Jason needs to intervene (apparently, the unwanted touch to Dick's hair was the last straw for the little bats), Damian reaches over and shoves Dick away, possibly taking him out of the room. Jason decided to cool off his anger at the bar for a bit before doing anything Bruce could complain about sooner than later.
Jason no doubt managed to calm down after three glasses of Scotch and was about to find Dick and Damian when someone approached him. Maybe it was the whiskey he'd had, but Jason didn't recognize the boy; nothing was stunning about him. He was about to leave when the boy started batting his eyelashes towards Jason, asking his name, and using the typical phrase of never having seen him at this kind of party before, his voice airy, trying to sound somewhat girly and faking a French accent. Jason was about to politely yell for him to fuck off when Dick appeared next to him.
"Little Wing, I didn't see when you arrived." His boyfriend's smile melted Jason, who smiled at him.
"I was going to look for you, pretty bird." Apparently, their audience didn't like to be ignored and looked at them with irritation, poorly hidden in a smile that tried to look innocent.
“I'm sorry I left so suddenly before David. You know what it's like to be the big brother. But if you'll excuse me, I'm afraid I'll steal my boyfriend; as you know, I don't live in Gotham anymore, so seeing each other is complicated." Jason was suddenly delighted to be called Dick's boyfriend, and the warmth of Dick's body pressed against his left side.
"If you'll excuse us." Jason said, placing his hand on Dick's waist as he let him drag him into the family area of the mansion and lead them to his old room.
---
Jason doesn't know how he brought up the subject of jealousy (Jason will blame Wally). All he knows is that Garth congratulates him for dealing well with his jealousy. Roy, the jerk he is, scoffed that he only seemed that way because he ended up venting with him. Dick laughed and said he usually does the same thing with Donna, and Jason couldn't stop the broken 'when?' he slipped from his lips. Donna laughed happily, answering for Dick 'all the fucking time.'
When they got to Dick’s apartment, Jason asked.
“Let's just look at the last month; That time I took you to the Titans, Rose shamelessly flirted with you in front of me. Then when we went to Sunday brunch two weeks ago, when Steph mentioned how an eye candy you were and admitted how she sometimes inadvertently gets lost looking at your thighs, I know she did it to annoy Dami, but you're my eye candy. When we went to the Thai restaurant and the waitress wouldn't stop looking at you, she even wrote down her phone number and name on the bill, but I threw the paper in the trash, making sure she looked. The other night with M and Apollo, who kept insinuating things about the four of us together, he even told me that he didn't know if he'd rather fuck you or have you fuck him. And then at the gala when David Weber decided I was hard to get and decided to try you." Jason's mouth was slack as he hadn't realized that Dick didn't seem like the possessive type.
Dick sitting on his lap, demanding to be picked up and taken to his room in the manor, the kiss on the corner of the lips in the restaurant, hugging him while riding with him on the motorcycle, and finally introducing him as his boyfriend at the gala. In retrospect, he could see how each time Dick ended up affirming his place as Jason's partner, he never mentioned anything to Jason; he only made it clear to those who tried to hit him (which Jason still didn't process). The lump in Jason's throat grew heavier and fatter while Dick's features softened into a sad smile.
"I know you don't have the best self-esteem, Jay, and I know many people flirt with me, and that can't be nice, but at no time have you taken it out on me." Dick must have known what he would say by the horrified look on his face. “Kori and Babs are perhaps the most jealous people you'll ever meet, but I learned my own form of jealousy from them. Kori didn't exactly mind when someone flirted with me. She knew I was hers, so I guess you know she used it in the bedroom. She left marks; if anyone asked, she would say how she put them on me. Babs was vocal in that way that if someone commented on my ass, she would grab it, show her anger to those people, and claim me. But Jay, you, in all this time, always try to respect me and not to exceed the limits. I know it bothers you, but it's not on me; even when the commenters are, well, my exes and God Jay, you don't know how hot you look when you get upset about it and what it does to me. But little wing, you are not alone in that, Jay. You are so handsome and hot, and you often don't realize when people drool over you. I have heard the Joker and Black Mask gloat about how they have a claim on you since they created you. You can ask Dami how I fight against Talia for mentioning what happened between you. I know you've heard Kori talk about sex between us, but Kori was my girlfriend for years, and she's one of my best friends; believe me, I've heard enough times how good your tongue is at making her cum and how she still hasn't found someone to fight for dominance her like you. Roy may have messed with you tonight, but he's a bitch who loves to tell me how you let him to tops you. You are not alone with jealousy, little wing; I don't lash out as many expect. I've never been the jealous type, not with Kori, Babs, Wally, or whomever you think is worth more than you to me." Jason thought he could cry even remember before they were officially a thing. Jason refused anything because he never thought he could have something good, something he could call his own. Life was never kind to him, and it took it upon itself to show Jason over and over again that he was not someone worth loving; he thought his jealousy was wrong, but Dick is telling him that he feels the same way and that it didn't bother him that Jason felt so possessive of him, that his feelings are valid.
"I love you." Jason's voice was heavy and husky, but the smile on Dick's face and the soft kiss on his lips was all the answer Jason needed.