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It had been nearly a week since returning from an accidental trip to another world, Earth, with Kaeya and Lumine. The whole situation had stemmed from his own lack of sleep, the lack of sleep being because of nightmares. Night after night they made themselves known. He’d told himself he would start letting Kaeya back in, but he had yet to do so.
He didn’t know how or where to even start. His brother had said he would listen and would be there for him. He trusted that Kaeya would, he wasn’t someone to offer something of that sort without meaning it.
When Diluc had first come back the look of shock, sadness and relief on Kaeya’s face was very quickly replaced by a fake smile as if the other emotions hadn’t even been there. Despite the fact it was Diluc’s glare that made the fake smile appear, in Diluc’s mind It only made sense. After all, Kaeya had spent years fooling his family, hadn’t he? He was nothing but a spy. He didn’t care about Crepus or Diluc, he didn’t love them. It was all an act, every day, for years. Diluc was letting himself be led by anger.
However, it didn’t take all that long for Diluc to realize that what he thought wasn't the case at all. Some people closest to Kaeya had begun to speak with Diluc about his younger brother.
He’d been told by Charles about Kaeya coming to the Angel’s Share every single night after he had left, not to drink, but to see if the bartender had heard anything from his missing brother. Heartbroken was a word Charles had used to describe the young man.
He’d been told by Jean that Kaeya had made sure his patrols took him by Dawn Winery. Apparently, he’d also asked her several times if she’d heard any news or reports that might give a clue as to where Diluc had gone. When she had nothing to give him day after day, he’d started plastering on a fake smile. Only the people he was closest to could see the sadness behind it.
He’d been told by a very angry Rosaria that on the night he had left she’d found an injured Kaeya wandering around outside of Mondstadt, in the rain, with a frost vision in one hand and a pyro vision in the other. She’d led him to the cathedral and he’d refused to talk about what had happened. When they’d tried to take the pyro vision from him to wrap up his sliced hands Kaeya had fled the church. Kaeya had been broken.
When Kaeya had first come to live with them, he was small, underfed and afraid. It took a long time for him to start opening up. Diluc had worked at it for months. He was just a child himself, but he knew that’s not what happy children looked like. After a few months Diluc was not only rewarded with a smile, but a hug. That had been it, he’d have a little brother forever and he wouldn’t let anyone else hurt him.
Except that he’d become the one who had hurt him. He’d been the one who had damaged him again. He’d broken what was probably an already fragile shell.
Diluc had been in pain, of course. He’d just lost his father that day and Kaeya came and told him his secret. Kaeya had proven for years that he loved Crepus and Diluc, but that didn’t matter to Diluc at that very moment. It was all suddenly a blur of rage and Kaeya yelling, no- crying Diluc’s name pleading for him to stop, only coming out of it when the cryo vision landed in Kaeya’s outstretched hand. From that moment anything to do with Kaeya, it all instantly became fake to him, it had hurt too much to think otherwise.
Now that he had come back and had heard what people had to say, he had come to realize that that first look Kaeya gave him was real. It was the most real Kaeya had been since Diluc had left him crying in the rain.
Right after he’d left, a certain nightmare had begun to plague him, but he’d soon emotionally closed himself off. Convinced himself that his anger was warranted against his brother. Now that he was beginning to realize how wrong he was, the nightmares had returned in full force.
So, in light of his brother’s offer, Diluc had decided to instead go and clear out enemy camps while dead tired. This had led to him now being surprised by two fire mages. “I should have just spoken to Kaeya.” He grunted as he hit the ground hard to dodge the fire being thrown at him.
As he rolled off the ground he swung his massive sword up and glanced it off the shields of both mages. He could do a lot of physical damage, but taking down the shields would still be slow without the right element and right now he’d definitely run out of stamina well before he would be able to even put a dent in the shields.
This time he was too slow as a flame wave was sent at him from each mage, dodging one but being hit by the other. The flames burned directly across his right leg. As a pyro user who frequently set everything around him on fire while fighting, he’d invested in flame resistant clothing long ago. It stopped a lot of the direct and more severe damage, but it could still burn him if it was a direct hit.
He growled as he recovered his stance only to be startled by a sudden blast of ice coming from beside him. His brother had somehow come to stand right next to him without his noticing.
“Looked like you could use some help,” The bluenette said, throwing another blast of ice at the now squealing mages. “Be ready for their shields to drop.” He added, bringing Diluc’s attention back to the fight.
Kaeya made quick work of the shields and Diluc sent his phoenix out. Since they were still suffering the effects from the cryo, the fiery bird took them down in seconds. Kaeya smiled and slapped Diluc on the arm, sending the tired man stumbling forward.
“Whoa, hey.” Kaeya said as he grabbed Diluc and looked him over. “Are you injured? What’s wrong? Why don’t you sit down for a minute.”
Diluc sighed heavily and waved off his brother. “If I sit down I won’t get back up. I’m just tired, mostly.”
Kaeya took a closer look at Diluc’s face. Even in the relative dark he could see shadows under his eyes. “You’re still having nightmares.” It was a statement, not a question. “You’re exhausted and shouldn’t be out here!”
Kaeya being angry wasn’t something Diluc was used to. Even when he was younger the Cavalry Captain wasn’t quick to anger. Sure, they’d had their fights just as any siblings might, but Diluc was usually the angry one in an argument. Even now, Kaeya hadn’t yelled.
Diluc crossed his arms defiantly, ready to bite back, right up until he actually looked at his brother. The mask was gone and everything on the other man’s face, and it was all right there, was exactly what he’d told himself for years Kaeya was incapable of.
“I know.” He said, letting his arms fall and looking away. “I’m sorry.”
He missed the look on Kaeya’s face, eyes wide and mouth dropped open. “Just… Come on, let’s get you home.”
He didn’t even bother to tell Kaeya that he didn’t need to come, it’s not like he’d listen. Swaying slightly he turned toward the winery and started walking. It wasn’t all that far, he just had to get there without falling over.
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Kaeya walked a few steps behind his brother, watching him closely. He had already been limping and holding his arm funny, but Kaeya didn’t think it was anything that couldn’t be taken care of once he got the man home, but now Diluc was stumbling here and there. He stepped up to the side that didn’t seem injured and pulled Diluc’s arm over his shoulder, putting his own arm across his brother’s back for more support.
Diluc didn’t fight it, only lightly huffing in annoyance. He looked like he was falling asleep while walking. At least he wasn’t having to drag him, he supposed. A memory popped into Kaeya’s head and he laughed lightly. When they were younger, if Diluc didn’t want to nap he’d fall asleep standing up and with his eyes open. Their father would pick him up and get him to bed. Stubborn to the end.
It was after midnight when he opened the door to the winery and Adelinde was standing just inside the foyer with her arms crossed. He swallowed hard. “Oh, hi Adelinde. I, uh… just picked up a sleepwalker.” She looked thoroughly unimpressed. “I’ll just get him to his room then…”
Once up the stairs he glanced at the sleeping man and whispered, “I should have woken you up and made you deal with her!”
“I heard that!” She called and Kaeya jumped. How could she have possibly heard that?!
When they got to Diluc’s room he sat the man on the edge of the bed and nudged him awake enough to help take off his coat and boots and lay down. Kaeya quietly pulled up a chair, kicked his own boots off and put his feet on the edge of the bed.
He hadn’t realized he’d fallen asleep until he’d opened his eyes to a small streak of sunlight shining across his face from the crack in the curtains. That wasn’t what had woken him, though. It was his brother mumbling and moving in his sleep.
Kaeya moved to the edge of the bed and gently shook Diluc by the shoulders. “Diluc, wake up. It’s not real, it’s just a dream.”
It took a few minutes of Kaeya calling to him before Diluc bolted upright, their heads nearly colliding. He looked at his younger brother for only a second before completely catching Kaeya off guard by wrapping his arms around him in a shaky hug, breath hitching, fingers grabbing tightly onto the material of Kaeya’s shirt and muttering “I’m sorry”.
Kaeya wasn’t sure what to do. He could tell that Diluc was actually quite awake and if he were being honest with himself, he wasn’t minding the hug. It had been years since his brother had hugged him. When he was young and would wake up terribly upset from a nightmare Diluc would hug him and rub comforting circles on his back and sing to him while Kaeya calmed down.
Kaeya gently placed his hands on Diluc’s back and hummed, only stopping once he realized that Diluc’s breathing had evened out more.
“I’m sorry.” The redhead said, obviously awake this time.
“Why? I’m happy I was here when you needed someone.” He replied as Diluc finally pulled away. Kaeya didn’t want to let go.
Diluc looked away, “No, no. I didn’t mean for that, I’m glad too.” He paused for a minute. Kaeya could see he was having a hard time putting something into words. “I don’t deserve it.” Diluc finally blurted out. Kaeya was taken aback by that, but Diluc continued.
“I don’t deserve your help or love or any of it. I hurt you and I left, which hurt you more. Every night it’s our fight over and over playing in my head- I’m there, hurting you and all I can do is watch.” Diluc finished, becoming visibly distraught again.
Kaeya stared at him, putting a hand over Diluc’s clasped shaking ones. Was this what he was dreaming about? Kaeya had his own nightmares about that night, but it was from a different side. No, it wasn’t fair that Diluc was pulling the entire weight of that night.
“Diluc,” He waited until his brother looked in his direction, but still didn’t look directly at him, “Choosing that night, of all nights, to tell you about my past… I think we can safely say that was probably the single most stupid thing I’ve done.” And it truly was, “But that was the point.”
Diluc finally looked at him as Kaeya continued, “I have nightmares all the time about what I did.”
“I was the one who went there and dragged you across that line. I’m the one who went there to push you away because I’d failed you and our father so badly that I…” Kaeya swallowed hard, looked away and whispered, “And then I couldn’t take it when you left.”
“... Because then you were abandoned again.” Diluc realized. “So you’ve been punishing yourself this whole time?”
Kaeya sighed tiredly, “I hurt everyone who knows me, so it’s best I let anyone near enough to know me.” He tried to hide that he wiped away a tear that was tickling down his cheek.
After they sat there for several minutes before Diluc finally spoke up, “We’re so messed up. And mutually stupid.” He grabbed Kaeya’s wrist to get him to look up. “I wish you weren’t doing that to yourself.”
“When I ran away after our fight, I was just running away. Then I found that stupid delusion and I was so angry and scared because I felt like they were attacking my family and my nation. I attacked every single Fatui camp and outpost I could find because I wasn’t going to give them the chance to tear another family apart with a delusion.” Diluc stopped to calm down and take a breath. “I was wrong and I might have even put everyone in more danger by angering them, but it was never my intention to abandon you.”
Kaeya stared at his brother. The redhead hadn’t shared much about what happened while he was gone and when he came back he kept pushing away. Kaeya was certain Diluc was trying to get as far away from him as possible. He shook his head, “We really are pretty messed up, but… we can work on that.”
Diluc met Kaeya’s eyes and nodded. “Ok, let's work on it.” He agreed with a small smile.
Kaeya hadn’t seen Diluc smile in years, it was a wonderful sight. Well, until Diluc stretched and yelped because his arm was still hurt and moved his legs and hissed. There was that, too.
“Ow…” The redhead grumbled, tucking his arm to his chest.
“It might help if you stop moving, Diluc.”
Diluc glared at him.
“Where does it hurt on your legs?” He asked, sitting closer to Diluc’s feet.
“Right ankle to knee.”
Kaeya could see scorch marks there and he pulled the pants leg up gently as Diluc sucked in a sharp breath and tried to remain still. He should have taken care of this last night, but he hadn’t wanted to stop Diluc from sleeping. His leg was red and blistered. He was going to need ointment and bandages, but first he moved up to his brother’s arm and slowly pulled it away from his chest. Diluc made a small noise but said nothing. He felt his way up the arm, looking for breaks. There didn’t seem to be any, thankfully, but once he got to the shoulder he could feel how swollen it was.
“Bandages and burn cream still in the bathroom?” He asked and Diluc nodded. “I’ll be right back, don’t move, rest.” He ordered.
He dug through Diluc’s medical supplies and thought about how many times he’d done this before. Diluc had a vision from a young age and it was fairly common for him to burn himself. His brother literally liked to play with fire, he shivered at the thought of dealing with both Klee and his brother on an adventure at the same time.
When he came back Diluc was already starting to nod off. He’d leave the shoulder for now, but he needed to get ointment on those burns. He smiled to himself, his heart felt lighter than it had in so long and he hoped it was the same for his brother.
They had a long way to go, but now he felt like they’d get there.