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It was hard to exactly say when they began to notice something was wrong. It had probably been close to a week if anyone had to guess. A week since Lucky was just not himself. He seemed more resigned and not as bubbly as usual. He seemed to be faking his excitement over things. His catchphrase even felt forced anymore.
Something was definitely wrong but Lucky was adamant that wasn't the case. No matter how many times any of the others would approach him and ask if he was okay, he never would say he wasn't. He'd put on a smile that everyone could feel was fake, and reassure them that nothing was wrong with him.
No one was able to effectively say what might have caused this sudden change. A lot of things had happened recently. It was hard to pinpoint if any one of those things could be responsible for this.
Stinger was fed up with all of this, to say the least. Lucky was always there for anyone else who needed support and yet wouldn't let them give him any. It was painfully obvious something was wrong. He should know that. So why did he keep brushing them off?
It was quite late on the ship. The lights had been turned to their night mode. It was quiet on the ship. Well, almost quiet.
Stinger was still awake. He knew for a fact that a certain boy was not in his room yet either. He had been watching to see when and if Lucky would go to his room. There had been dark bags growing under his eyes. Stinger couldn't help but guess that Lucky wasn't sleeping well.
He was currently searching for Lucky after having staked out at his door for ages. He wasn't in any spot he would have assumed. Just where was he?
Eventually he finally tracked him down. He was hiding in the far corner of the ship. Probably to try and avoid being caught by any of their robotic friends. It wasn't that uncommon for them to sometimes wander around if they got bored at night.
"Lucky." Stinger called as he walked over.
Lucky jumped at the sudden voice. He whipped around.
"S-Stinger? Why are you up so late?" Lucky asked, trying to avoid eye contact.
"I could ask the same of you." Stinger replied.
He moved to stand beside Lucky. Lucky had been staring out a window before he came over. Stinger took a glance out as well before looking at Lucky.
"I couldn't sleep." Lucky said.
"Lucky. You've not been sleeping well for a while. We can tell. You should be in bed." Stinger stated, crossing his arms.
"I'm fine, Stinger. Seriously." Lucky tried to brush him off.
"You are not fine, Lucky. Stop pretending you are. We can all see that something is wrong. Why won't you tell us?" Stinger was not taking this lie any more. He was getting an answer.
"I am. You guys are crazy. Nothing in wrong." Lucky said. Stinger could pick up a slight hesitance in his voice.
"Lucky, please. If you won't tell me as a friend, then talk to me as your partner. I am worried about you. I can clearly see you're struggling with something and yet you won't get help. It hurts me to see you like this."
Lucky looked down at his feet. He didn't seem to have an answer. At least not one he was willing to share. Stinger wasn't going to give up though. He needed to know. Lucky had to crack and tell him sooner or later.
"This is who I really am. Nothing is wrong. You just don't know the real me. Just the image I've crafted to hide my trauma." Lucky said quietly.
"Something is wrong either way. If you feel the need to hide your true personality, that's just as concerning." Stinger said in reply, "Will you please tell me what's wrong?"
"I thought if I could be happy and focus on the positives, I could forget the hell I've been through. But now I feel like I'm trapped. Like I can't not act that way. That I'm not allowed to show just how much I've suffered..." Lucky whispered, his voice cracking.
Stinger placed a hand on his shoulder, "You don't need to be that way around us. Not if it hurts you."
"I don't want it to hurt. Why can't I go back? Why can't I ignore my trauma like I could in the past?" Tears started falling down his face.
Stinger didn't know what to do. This was the first time he had ever seen Lucky cry like this. He moved and pulled him into a tight hug. That was all he could think of to do.
"Being reminded of your past probably brought up those memories you've been suppressing." Stinger offered, "It's hard to ignore things when you've been reminded of them recently."
"I hate this... why did this have to happen? Why did Jark Matter have to ruin everything?"
"I wish I knew. But, it's up to us to ensure the next generation never has to go through the trauma and horrors we did. But to do that we do need to face our own issues and come to terms with them." Stinger said, "It's hard. I'm not anywhere near that either but... I keep facing every day despite what's happened. Because people depend on us to protect them from what we've gone through."
"Stinger..." Lucky finally returned the hug.
"You don't need to face it on your own. Why do you try to when you've always tried and made sure everyone else would be open about their issues?"
"It's hard..."
"I know. We can think over where to start later. You really should try and get some sleep. Why don't you come stay with me tonight?" Stinger asked.
"Okay..." Lucky agreed.
Stinger led him to his room. They silently sat on the bed for a while. Stinger wasn't entirely sure what to do now. He wasn't the best at expressing his emotions to others. He was slowly getting better but this was a lot. Trying to offer compassion and care was not his strong suit as much as he wished it could be.
"Sleep." Stinger nudged Lucky to lay down as he turned off the light.
Lucky laid down, but didn't close his eyes. He just frowned and stared at the pillow he was resting his head on. Stinger laid down and offered a hug. Lucky didn't accept. He didn't even acknowledge it at all.
"Lucky..." Stinger sighed.
He forcibly pulled Lucky into a hug. Lucky tried to block him, but lost the fight. He resigned to the hug with a sigh. Though, his posture did seem to loosen up once he was held in the hug.
"Try and sleep." Stinger prompted, "Please?"
He couldn't see Lucky's face anymore. It was hard to tell what was going on with him. But he did eventually hear Lucky's breathing even out and he sunk into the hug. Stinger let out a small sigh of relief. At least he was finally getting some much needed rest.
...
Lucky woke up the next morning still in the embrace. He didn't want to move. It felt nice to be the one being held. Maybe it wasn't so bad to let his guard down and be taken care of? He always tried to be the one people could go to instead. It was how he tried to distract himself from his own problems.
"Good morning, Lucky." Stinger was awake it seemed.
"Morning..." Lucky replied.
"How are you feeling?"
"Fine."
"Are you really?"
Lucky didn't reply. He still was hesitant to be so open about his feelings. He didn't want to burden anyone. Everyone had their own issues they needed to work out too. He didn't want to bother them with helping him as well.
Especially not his partner, well, partners. He felt like it could ruin the dynamic they already had. He really didn't want that to change. Though it already had, unfortunately...
"Lucky, please. Just tell me what's on your mind." Stinger took his silence as an answer of its own.
"I don't even know how to describe how I feel..."
It wasn't a lie. Putting into words his emotions was hard. There were too many running through him to pin down and explain.
"Can you at least try?" Stinger prompted.
Lucky pondered what he could say. He knew no matter what Stinger was going to keep pressing him for an answer. And seeing as he was still tightly held in a hug, there was no hope of escape from this. He had to come up with something.
"Numb, I guess. There's so much going on I just can't even feel anything anymore." Lucky said. It was the best he could come up with.
"I know that feeling." Stinger sighed.
"And how do you deal with it?"
Stinger went silent for a while before he whispered, "I think you've seen."
"O-oh... right..." Lucky said.
They fell into an awkward silence. Lucky forgot about the fact that Stinger would probably understand anything he said he was feeling. This was going to be hard to avoid.
There was a knock on the door, "Stinger?"
Stinger let go of Lucky and went to the door quickly. Naga was on the other side. He walked in, his gaze traveling over to Lucky.
"What's up, Naga?" Stinger asked.
"Seeing why you haven't gotten up yet." Naga replied, "Breakfast is almost ready."
"I think you can see why." Stinger stated as he moved to climb back into the bed.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Naga invited himself to join them on the bed.
Lucky was stuck between the two of them. He was not getting out of this. If they wanted him to talk more, he was stuck.
"I don't know..." Stinger reached over and placed a hand on Lucky's shoulder, "Lucky... you do need help. So, what can we do to make you feel better?"
Lucky didn't respond. He didn't want to burden the two of them so much. This was supposed to be something he could work out on his own. He never wanted to trouble anyone with trying to help him.
"I'm fine... you don't need to do anything."
"Lucky." Stinger's voice was firm, "We are not doing this. Tell us. You can't do this on your own."
"Stinger?" Naga sounded confused.
"This idiot refuses to let us help because he doesn't want to show us a different side of him." Stinger grumbled, "Lucky, for the love of God, no one will judge you. I think the way everyone's treated me is evidence enough of that fact. Stop hiding your pain."
"This is different..." Lucky whispered.
"How?! How is this any different?!" Stinger demanded.
"Stinger. Calm down. Yelling won't make him cooperate." Naga tried to mediate.
Stinger took a few deep breaths, "Sorry... I'm just frustrated. I don't like seeing you suffering like this."
Lucky couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with either of them. He knew they didn't like seeing him this way. That didn't change the fact he didn't want to make them have to help him.
"Lucky?" Naga said.
"What?"
"Have you... hurt yourself like Stinger before?"
That was a question he never expected to be asked. Nor was it necessarily one he wanted to answer.
"Naga..." Stinger also seemed a bit surprised by the sudden question, "That's not something to ask so suddenly."
"Oh... sorry."
Lucky let out a shaky breath, "I've not... slit my wrists before. I've come close but... never actually did it. I was too afraid to leave visible marks. I have... I've... done other things..."
"Other things?" Naga repeated.
"I... mostly just neglecting my needs. Telling myself I don't deserve to take care of myself."
"Lucky..." Stinger hugged him, Naga copying his movements.
It was still a bit hard to get used to how Naga acted in these situations. He never knew what he was meant to feel or express and so would just copy someone else. These were situations no one would ever want to talk about until they happened so there was no way he'd ever have learned how to act until... the incident with Stinger.
Lucky felt like he should apologize, but stopped himself. They would tell him there was nothing to be sorry about. That it wasn't his fault. He wished he could believe that.
"Is there anything we can do, Lucky? Please."
Lucky took in a deep breath. He had to say something, didn't he? But what could he say? What could they even do to help him?
"I guess... can you not acknowledge that I'm acting differently? I don't care if you treat me a bit different but please just stop reminding me I'm losing my one coping method."
"We can offer comfort and support, we just can't explain why?" Naga asked.
"I think he means it more so as just don't bring up that he's not himself when offering to help. Just offer help, don't say anything else." Stinger said.
Lucky nodded. He didn't mind letting them maybe give him a bit more support but he hated being reminded of the fact he was losing control of his emotions. That he couldn't keep hiding the pain he had been through.
"But isn't it better to face that and overcome it than to just pretend it doesn't exist?" Naga questioned.
He had a point. Lucky knew that. He knew he shouldn't be trying to shove away all of his feeling but he didn't know how to deal with them. If he tried it would just end in disaster.
"It is, but sometimes you need time to prepare to finally face your problems before you do. He needs some time to fully come to terms with the fact he can't keep hiding from his past. Give him a week and then we try." Stinger replied.
At least Stinger seemed to understand. Not that that was surprising. Stinger probably felt the same way. Lucky was starting to wonder if he was speaking on personal experience over them not giving him very much time to accept what needed to be done.
"A week." Lucky repeated.
"Naga is right that you can't hide away forever. You do need to try and figure out how to handle these emotions, Lucky. We can't wait forever. Everyone is already so worried about you. Honestly a week might be too long but we'll try. I don't want to have to force you out of your comfort zone too quickly." Stinger said.
"Did we do that to you...?" Lucky couldn't help but ask.
Stinger paused for a minute before he replied, "I... Yeah. I was nowhere near ready but you guys insisted. No hard feelings. Honestly maybe it was for the best."
"I just don't even know what I would tell them..." Lucky mumbled.
"I would recommend just saying you're going through a rough time and just need to process some repressed trauma. That should get them to understand without having to explain too much more." Stinger offered.
"We can try... in a week."
"Very well. Now we should probably get up before someone comes looking for us. Naga did say breakfast was almost ready."
"Okay..." Lucky agreed.
They all got off the bed. Lucky didn't really feel up to going out there. Everyone would be in his business still. He hated constantly being asked if he was okay.
Why did they need him to admit it so badly? Why was it not enough for them to see that clearly something was wrong and leave it at that? If he didn't want to talk, why must they push him to?
That was hypocritical of him to think, wasn't it? With everything that had already happened, he had no right to demand them to just ignore him. This would be his new reality until he came clean and even then that wouldn't really change much. Everyone would still probably constantly want to check up on him.
Lucky was brought out of his thoughts by a kiss on his cheek. He looked over. Naga had been the one to do it. That was when Lucky realized that both of his boyfriends were standing beside him and holding his hands.
"You ready to go out?" Naga questioned.
"Not really." Lucky replied, "You know everyone will be up in my business again."
"If you don't want to tell them, you'll just have to live with it." Stinger replied.
Lucky sighed. He would just have to deal with it. He really didn't want to tell anyone. But they would find out sooner or later. He could only hide this for so long before he would break.
Another few minutes passed before they actually left the room. It was a very quiet walk to the dinning room. Lucky wasn't much for conversation this morning.
They were the last three to arrive for breakfast. Almost all eyes were on them as they entered. Thankfully no one said a thing to them. At least for now he could have some peace. Lucky knew there would be more questions as the day went on. There always were.
...
After breakfast, Lucky opted to go back to his room. The less time he spent around the ship, the less people to ask if he was okay again.
He only got a few minutes of peace before there was a knock on the door. Lucky let out a long sigh, before going to check who was there.
"Naga."
Lucky was a bit surprised to see the silver-haired boy at his door. He wasn't one to approach others. Especially for something like this. They were getting better at him doing that, but it was a struggle. Naga was always so worried he would make things worse with his inability to understand what emotions should be shown. There had been many times that had gone wrong and it deterred him from trying again.
"I... thought you might like company." Naga said, "You said we should do that whenever Stinger seemed upset. I assume the same is meant to happen with you?"
His own advice for Stinger was coming back to haunt him now. He would be treated the same way, wouldn't he?
"I guess..." Lucky invited Naga in. He didn't want to say no.
Lucky went to his bed and threw himself on it, shoving his face into a pillow. He felt Naga climb in and place a hand on his shoulder.
"Can I do anything to make you feel better?" Naga asked.
"Hug me..." Lucky mumbled without a thought.
Arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. Naga nuzzled into his back as he pulled Lucky to lay on his side. Lucky let him lead and just went along with it. Maybe a bit of a distraction would be nice?
"What's Stinger up to?" Lucky asked quietly.
"Kotaro asked him for some help with training." Naga replied.
"I'm surprised Balance hasn't drug you off to do something."
"He seemed like he was going to ask me something but didn't."
"Probably realized he shouldn't bother you right now."
Naga's grip tightened on him slightly, "Why?"
"Did you follow me when I left? Or kept looking at me? He probably realized you were going to do something with me."
"I see. Do you mind that I'm here?"
"No. It's fine." Lucky rolled over to face Naga.
They stared at each other in silence for a while. Naga hesitantly moved in closer and pressed a kiss to Lucky's forehead. Lucky closed his eyes and shifted closer. Maybe this wasn't so bad?
"I love you..." Lucky whispered.
"I love you too." Naga replied, offering another kiss along with it.
"Will you still love me even if I'm like this forever?" Lucky questioned.
His insecurities were getting to him now. As he was slowly coming to terms with the fact he was not going to get to go back to normal, it made him question is everyone would still see him the same way. That extended to his boyfriends as well. Would they still love him all the same if he wasn't the same person they had first fallen in love with back then?
"Do people leave their loved ones when they're struggling?" Naga asked, "That seems very... bad."
"Some people don't want to deal with someone like that. That wasn't what they signed up for when they fell in love." Lucky replied quietly, "That's part of why I've been so adamant about hiding this part of me. Every time I thought I could trust someone with this, they'd leave me behind."
"You should be glad you got rid of a bad person in your life." Naga said, "If they can't handle a different side of you, they don't deserve you."
Lucky cracked a smile, "Maybe you're right. Better I found out when I had control of the situation than having this happen."
"I won't leave you."
"Promise?"
"I promise. I won't leave you for this. Dating you means loving you no matter what and supporting you when you need it. Right? You said that about Stinger when he asked."
"Yeah..."
"You are tired, right? You should try and sleep." Naga changed the topic.
Lucky sighed and shifted to hug Naga tightly. He was still exhausted. He should probably try and slowly catch up on his sleep. And he should do it before they got sent on any more missions.
"Naga?"
"Yes?"
"Remember how we told everyone about Stinger's problem? Do you think you guys might be able to do something similar for me? Help me tell everyone and keep them from worrying over me too much?"
"I can ask Stinger later."
"Thanks... the promise of a week before we do it still stands though." Lucky stated.
"Understood." Naga agreed.
Lucky closed his eyes and focused on trying to sleep. Naga held him closer, pressing a few soft kisses to his head. He certainly had learned well with how to provide comfort.
"Wake me in an hour or so..." Lucky mumbled.
"Only an hour?"
"I don't wanna sleep too much or I'll never fall asleep at night."
"Okay. That makes sense."
Lucky let out a small sigh and tried to sleep. His mind was racing though. The thought of having to admit to everyone that he was struggling so much was daunting.
There was a knock on the door. Naga let go of Lucky and answered it. Lucky almost immediately missed the feeling of being held. He glanced at who had interrupted them.
It seemed that Stinger was done with helping Kotaro. Naga returned to the bed and pulled Lucky back into a hug. Moments later Stinger climbed onto the other side and embraced him from behind.
Lucky focused on trying to sleep again. He could hear Naga talking quietly to Stinger. Probably talking about his request. Lucky didn't have the energy to pay much attention to what they were actually saying. He was exhausted and being held like this was soothing.
...
"Lucky."
Lucky cracked open his eyes. Naga was looking at him. Had it already been an hour? He barely felt like he had closed him eyes.
"Tired..." Lucky grumbled.
"You were the one who told me to wake you in an hour. Stinger insisted we should give you two hours though so it's been even longer."
Lucky sighed and forced himself awake. He sat up and stretched. That little nap did make him feel a little bit better.
Lucky looked around his room. Stinger was missing. Where had he gone now?
"Stinger went to go grab some food for lunch for us to eat here." Naga said.
"Oh."
"He's taking quite a while though." Naga added, "Did he get caught up talking to someone?"
Lucky shrugged, "Probably."
They waited. Hopefully Stinger wouldn't take that much longer to get here. This was quite awkward. They were sitting in silence. Was there even anything to say right now?
"Did you guys discuss what I had asked about?" Lucky questioned.
Naga nodded, "Yes. He agreed we can help like that. Though he wants you to be there for the conversation and say some things yourself."
"Fine..." It was better than nothing.
The door to the room opened. Stinger entered. He looked annoyed.
"What's up with you?" Lucky asked as Stinger took a seat on the bed.
"Because you're not around everyone's pestering me about you." Stinger grumbled.
"They really are adamant about knowing what's going on with me." Lucky sighed.
Stinger seemed like there was more to say, but he kept hesitating to say it. Lucky was a bit worried now. Had Stinger told them something to get them to back off?
"Did something else happen?" Lucky finally asked.
Stinger looked away from him and Naga, "I... snapped at some of them. Told them you were going through a rough time and to just leave you alone..."
"Well, let's see if they'll listen." Lucky replied. He didn't want to make Stinger feel bad about losing his cool. He was almost at that point himself.
"Sorry..."
"It's fine. It was an accident. I'm not mad at you."
"What if they ask about you still?" Naga questioned.
"Keep repeating the same thing? To leave me be and let you guys handle it for now?" Lucky suggested, "Maybe they'll be satisfied if we confirm you guys are helping me?"
"They didn't seem satisfied when you guys said that about me." Stinger commented, "I wouldn't get your hopes up."
"Fair..." Lucky sighed.
"Anyway, I brought some food."
...
It was towards the evening when Lucky finally opted to leave him room. Naga had gone to help Balance with something and Stinger went off to do some training. Lucky was by himself and bored.
He was nervous as he wandered through the ship. Would everyone try and talk to him or would they maybe give him some space?
"Lucky."
They were going to talk to him. He should've known. Lucky turned to face the source of the voice. Garu stood behind him.
"What?" Lucky tried to act how he normally did, but it just felt even more painful pretending.
"What's going on? Why are you avoiding everyone?" Garu asked.
"I thought Stinger told you guys to leave me alone." Lucky grumbled. He didn't even bother holding the facade any longer.
"That's why I'm approaching you. You never hide from us. Please, Lucky. What happened?"
"I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me."
"Lucky. Ever since we went to your home system, you've not been yourself. Something happened there, didn't it?" Garu said.
Lucky tensed up. Now they were starting to actually guess what caused his change in mood? This was bad.
"It's none of your business." Lucky tried to sound firm, but his voice trembled.
"I'm right then, aren't I?" Garu said.
Lucky really did not want to have this conversation. He turned on his heel and tried to walk away, but Garu grabbed his arm and held him back.
"Lucky." Garu forced him to look at him, "Please. Let us help you."
"Just leave me alone." Lucky tried to pull away.
"Tell me what happened." Garu insisted.
"Repressed trauma."
That was how Stinger had described what he was going through. Hopefully that would be enough of an answer for Garu. Probably not, but he could hope.
"Oh." Garu seemed to understand what he meant at least.
"So, please, leave me alone." Lucky said.
"But-"
"Please."
Garu gave him a hard look, but let go of him. He placed a hand on Lucky's shoulder.
"You can talk to me if you need to. I'll listen." Garu said, before he walked on past Lucky.
"I'll keep that in mind." Lucky replied quietly.
They went their separate ways. Lucky decided to go find Stinger in a training room. Maybe he would have some more advice on what to do now?
"Stinger. You have a minute to talk?"
"Hmm? Sure."
Thankfully Stinger was all alone in the training room. Lucky sat on the floor. Stinger leaned against the wall next to him.
"Garu cornered me." Lucky said.
"And what did he say?" Stinger asked.
"He... started guessing what caused my change in mood. And he got it right. I..." Lucky trailed off.
"Did you have to tell him?" Stinger guessed.
Lucky nodded, "I said I was dealing with repressed trauma. He backed off enough after that."
"So why do you need to talk to me?"
"What if he tells everyone else?"
"I doubt he would, but if he does I'll beat the shit out of him for it."
"Stinger. Language."
Stinger just rolled his eyes at the comment. He slid down to sit beside Lucky.
"How do you feel after telling someone?" Stinger asked.
"Weird, I guess. I feel... relieved it went well but also a bit nauseaus over the whole ordeal." Lucky replied.
"That's normal."
"So... should I just come clean and tell everyone sooner rather than later?" Lucky let out a dry laugh, "I've already messed everything up trying to keep it a secret. Might as well just completely ruin my life."
"How is this going to ruin your life?"
"If I break... what's keeping everyone else going? Everyone always looked to me for the will to keep pushing onward..."
"Are you not the luckiest man in the galaxy? Things will fall into place as they always do." Stinger stated.
"As if I'm really that lucky."
"I think we have more than enough proof you are." Stinger said, "You've always pulled through no matter how hopeless it seemed. Don't let this be the time you can't."
Lucky sighed, "I just don't know if I can keep going like this... the weight of the world is starting to crush me."
"You have us to lift that weight off of you. You're not alone. Let us help you, Lucky." Stinger placed a hand on his shoulder, "Don't bear this all on your own. It will make it worse if you do. That's how I got so bad. Because I pushed anyone away that tried to help me. Don't make the same mistakes I have. I don't want to see you go down the same path as me."
"I'll try..." Lucky promised.
"Anyway. I do think it might be wise to just come clean now. Everyone knows part of it and I can only guess Garu was just the beginning of the questionings." Stinger said, "Unless you want to keep repeating this scenario, you may need to tell them."
"Tomorrow."
"Alright."
They fell into silence. Lucky was not ready to tell everyone but he knew there was not much of a choice. The others were all aware that something was going on. They wouldn't just let him be until they heard from him what had happened.
"Do you want to do some sparring?" Lucky asked. He needed something to take his mind off of everything for a bit.
"Sure." Stinger agreed and the two of them began.
...
"Lucky, time to get up."
Morning came far too soon for his liking. He grumbled in annoyance and tried to hide his face in a pillow. Unfortunately he was grabbed and stopped. Lucky opened his eyes to find Naga in front of him. However, Naga was not the one who had grabbed him. Stinger was behind him.
"Come on. You can't hide in here all day again." Stinger prompted him up.
Lucky sighed and got up. He lazily got ready for the day. He was dreading having to finally come clean to everyone. How would they react to what he said?
"You alright?" Stinger asked as Lucky had yet to come anywhere near the door to leave.
"Do I look alright to you?" Lucky snapped back, before letting out a sigh, "Sorry..."
"It's okay. Come on. You can do it." Stinger held out a hand. Naga opted to do the same.
Lucky glanced between the two of them for a long time, before accepting their hands and letting them lead him out of the room. Breakfast was quiet as it had been since his change in mood. Lucky couldn't help but notice that there were a lot more glances sent his way.
Once breakfast was done, it was time to begin. It wasn't hard to corral everyone into a room to talk. Not when they were all already so worried about him.
Stinger and Naga stood by Lucky's side. Lucky was unsure about this still. Unfortunately he had no way out of this without making an even bigger scene.
"Um..." Lucky gulped, "I... I..."
"What's wrong, Lucky? What happened?" Garu decided to prompt him to speak after his hesitance.
And so Lucky began as best he could. He explained how he had crafted his personality that they all knew to hide how traumatized he was. How after going to his home system and seeing everything once more after running away for so long hurt. How he couldn't keep pushing down the memories of how much pain he had been through.
Everyone listened in silence. Lucky was barely stopping himself from completely breaking down. He didn't like being so vulnerable. This wasn't who he wanted to be. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to be the image he had so carefully crafted.
An arm wrapped around his waist. Stinger. Naga grabbed hold of one of his hands. They were doing their best to provide comfort. Unfortunately it wasn't doing that much right now.
Lucky finally concluded. Silence filled the room. No one wanted to be the first one to speak. Lucky tightened his grip on Naga's hand. What would they have to say to him now?
"You've been hiding all of that this entire time?" Hammie was the first to break the silence, "Why?"
"I didn't want to be a burden..." Lucky whispered.
"You'd never be a burden."
"Yeah. We all support each other no matter what."
"No one should suffer alone."
Hearing everyone be so nice about everything broke the little composure he had left. Lucky started crying.
"You okay?" Stinger asked, offering him a tissue.
"Yeah..." Lucky nodded, "Just... overwhelmed."
Arms wrapped around him from behind, "A good overwhelmed, right?"
"Yes."
"Do you want to leave for a bit?" Stinger asked, glancing at where everyone else well waiting still.
"No... I... just give me a minute." Lucky tried to calm himself. He didn't want to run off after that. He needed to face everyone now that the cat was out of the bag.
He managed to calm down enough to stop crying. Slowly he walked closer to everyone else, Stinger and Naga right behind him.
"Sorry I... kept this from you guys..." Lucky mumbled.
"It's okay."
"We're just glad you're alright."
It was hard to keep himself from crying again. Everyone was being so nice to him. He knew they'd all be accepting but it didn't prepare him to experience it.
"Group hug?"
At that suggestion, he was engulfed in a hug by everyone. Lucky didn't know what to do. He just stood still, biting his lip to try and keep himself from crying again. It was not what he had been expecting from this conversation, but he didn't really mind it. It was nice.
"Thank you guys..." Lucky whispered.
Despite trying to avoid everyone and not want to let them in, this honestly wasn't that bad. He had been adamant he wouldn't want anyone to be so caring like this but it didn't matter as much to him now. Maybe he did want this to be how everyone helped him? He certainly wasn't finding himself to be opposing it as everyone hugged him.
They all had their own trauma to work through, but yet everyone was going to take time to help each other. They were a good team and really good friends. Lucky was glad he had managed to meet all of them.