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“Eda, are you sure that thing works?” Raine was suspiciously eying the car in front of them. It was hidden in what looked like an abandoned warehouse in the woods. Not that they were any kind of expert on human vehicles, or vehicles in general, but going from that car Camila drove and the ones they saw her neighbours having as a reference…the thing in front of them did not spark reassurance. They did not need to be an expert to know that it was old, going by the dusty glass and damaged, dark red paint.
“Yeah, I made sure of it!” Eda said, opening the back door and tossing the bags inside.
“Ummm…”
“I had Alador check it, don’t worry. And then Camila heard of it and made me go visit her car mechanic, so, yeah,” she knocked on the hood of the car, “This baby works.”
“When did you say this thing was from? 20 years ago?”
“Eh, more like 25…look, I got it back in the day for real cheap, got it fixed and now it works, come on, where is your adventure spirit, Rainstorm?”
“Having a discussion with my survival instinct…”
“Raine, do you trust me?” she asked.
“Yes, of course.”
“Then trust me that I would not put us into a death machine. I even drove a bit to get used to driving with a hook instead of an arm!”
“Ok, ok, fine,” they sighed, opening the door to the front seat. It creaked. There was a mysterious stain on the front seat and a few food wrappers, that, thankfully did not look 30 years old on the floor.
“I even looked up the route,” Eda said as she sat behind the wheel.
“Awww, look at who is being responsible…”
“Shush!”
“Wait,” something occurred to them, “Do…do you have a licence to drive this thing?”
“Ummm…”
“Eda!”
“What? Did you think I shoved up to a human DMV with fake documents to get another fake document? I mean, I have a fake document, courtesy of the Blight twins, but…”
“And…and…how did you learn to drive?”
“Some old fart I used to…hang out with…soon after we broke up taught me how,” She said, as she put the car in reverse and drove out of the warehouse.
Raine raised an eyebrow at her, “You do know you can mention dating other people, right?”
“Eh, isn’t there like a rule against doing so on dates?” Eda teased back.
“And when exactly have we followed the typical rules of dates and/or relationships’ Come on, I want to hear the story!”
“Ok, ok, so," Eda started the tale as she drove down the narrow, foresty road, "remember how I told you how I was, technically, married for, like, two days?”
“Under your pseudonym, Marylin?”
“Yup!”
“I do…wait, that guy taught you to drive? You know what…let’s just walk to the beach, or, like, there is that bus thing? Right?”
“Relax,” Eda chuckled, “I practised later…”
“Calamity, I love you with all my heart, but, that is not exactly a reassuring statement. There is a reason your nickname is a thing!”
Eda snorted, “I’m serious, I’m careful. Well, careful-ish. So, wanna hear the rest of your story?”
“Am I a weirdo for wanting to hear the story behind my partner learning to drive by her technically-ex-husband?” they wondered, as Eda stopped at the end of the foresty road merging to the main one.
“Maybe,” she leaned in to kiss them before focusing on the road once again, “but you’re my weirdo.”
….
About two hours and one strangely normal drive later the pair arrived in a small, seaside town. Eda left the car, enjoying the soft breeze on her skin and Raine followed, looking at the shore in awe. The long stretch of sand, peppered with low bushes and a few more stony patches, and the smell of the sea that was so familiar yet so different in the human realm. It was fascinating.
“So, what do you say we park the car here, and go for a beach day before we find a motel that won’t look too deeply into our documents?” Eda asked as she got out of the car as well, the res dress she wore fluttering in the wind.
“Considering what kind of place would just brush over that I’d almost say I would feel more comfortable camping the night out at the beach. But yeah, starting the day here sounds fun.”
“Ok, grab your stuff and let’s go find a spot!”
They had three days just to themselves. After ten months of helping rebuild the isles they decided to take some time off, just the two of them.
There was a reason they chose the human realm-with the number of acquittances they both had and Eda’s infamy-turned-fame, Raine’s fame and with both of them being widely known as heroes of the Isles now, there was no way they could get proper peace on the isles unless they straight-up camped up in the woods for days (and even then, it wasn’t entirely safe).
The human realm provided wonderful anonymity, here they were just a not-so-average middle-aged couple parking a rickety car and dragging their beach supplies with them as far away as the rest of the people on the beach as possible.
…..
“There,” Eda said, content, as she set up her deck chair and placed the bottle of apple blood at the perfect distance from it to be simply picked up as she lay, “Perfect!”
“Won’t you put sunscreen on?”
“Nope!” She declared as she pulled the dress over her head, leaving her in only her red bikini.
“Eda, it’s noon almost,” Raine, who did not usually need sunscreen, but chose to put it on the possession scars that stretched over their chest arm and hands, “You’ll be as red as that apple blood you’re drinking with your complexion!”
“Nope!” Eda still refused, putting her sunglasses on and lying down with her hand serving as a pillow, the hook hanging to her side.
“Can you at least put your shirt on then?”
“Wow, what is this?" she peaked over the rim of her glasses, "jealous so I should cover myself up? Let the humans ogle, Rainstorm!”
“For Titan’s sake, you know that is not the case! I’m worried!”
“Ugh, fine, let me have a nap and then I’ll put some SPF on, sheesh!”
It wasn’t long before Eda started softly snoring, leaving Raine with some time to themselves, so they took a book they were reading. They were researching human music history, a truly fascinating subject. It was about half an hour before they realized that Eda would not be waking up soon.
Her skin was already turning the faintest shade of pink. Sure, they knew she had a potion that would heal sunburn in a matter of hours with her, but that would not make the experience pleasant The caring, worried side of Raine wanted to put the sunscreen on for her. The pettier side of them wanted to leave her like that just so they could say, I told you so.
The prettiest side of them combined the two plans wickedly.
“R’ine?” Eda muttered as they squeezed some SPF 40 into their hand and started to rub in on her arms and shoulders.
“Don’t worry, I’m just putting sunscreen on you,” they said.
“Mhm,” she muttered, “can I nap some more?”
“Sure.”
They put the thinnest possible layer of sunscreen on her shoulders, chest and stomach and then, once they were certain she was asleep again, they wrote words Cute Owl on her belly, stifling their snicker.
Oh, they would pay for it, they knew it. But, it would be worth it.
Half an hour later longer, when a good chunk of people at the beach already retracted into the shade of the caffes and restaurants surrounding the beach, Eda started to stir.
“How long was I out?” she asked.
“About an hour.”
“Ugh… yeah, thanks for the sunscreen I would be…” she lifted her head and looked at her stomach, “Rainstorm?”
“Yes,” they innocently turned the page.
She turned her head towards them. Slowly. Too slowly...“What is this?”
“Sunscreen?”
“Why is it spelling out words?”
“To protect my cute owl from the sun,” they returned smugly and, before they knew it, Eda wiped the cream off her belly and smeared it over their face, making them drop the book and laugh.
“Oh come on! It stayed! Raine!”
They were laughing at her outraged expression.
“I’m sorry, I could not help myself!”
“Oh, you’re not sorry! You will be sorry when I’m through with you!” she threatened, “I just need to think of a proper revenge!”
“I think it suits you!”
“You are walking a fine line, Whispers.”
“Am I?” they wondered, lifting their head to kiss her on the tip of her nose. Whether she was read from embarrassment, anger or the sun, they were not clear.
“You are the worst,” she muttered.
“Ah, you love me for it.”
A reluctantly appreciative smirk appeared on her face, “Fine. I’ll give it to you, this is a good, if basic, prank. But I’m still getting my revenge.”
“Oh, I’m not doubting that. That was a risk I was willing to take!”
“Well, you’re stupid but not that stupid then…”
“Eda…” they playfully pushed her back, both laughing.
“I’m stating the truth,” she huffed and reached for a beach wrap. “Ughm now I will have to walk with this visible if I want to go for a swim! Remind me, why am I with you?”
“Because I’m the love of your life and you like my petty side?”
“You’re still not forgiven!” She pouted.
“Counting in it. So, how about we go grab eye-scream, no wait ice cream, before we go for a swim?”
“Hungry?”
“No, I just,” they eyed the water with some suspicion. The summer day was warm enough but why were that few people in the water? Dangerous sea flora? Sharp rocks at the bottom? Or was the water cold…it did look cold… “I would like some ice cream…”
“Sure thing, Rainstorm,” Eda nodded, convinced a bit too quickly for their comfort. "Sure thing..."
…..
The line for ice cream was rather long, and Raine and Eda found themselves standing between a woman who had a girl who was about five years old and an older couple who stared at Eda at Raine in a way that made Eda glare back until they apparently figured out that they were wrong.
The girl, also, kept glancing at the two, or rather, at Eda’s hook before she pulled her mum’s hand.
“Mum, do you think that lady is a piwate?”
The woman turned to Eda, a question in her eyes, and Eda nodded. Kids staring and asking questions was completely different from grown-ass adults doing so.
“Why don’t you ask her,” the mum said to the girl, who looked shyly at Eda. She could not blame her, as she was, in a very literal sense, double her height.
“Um…excuse me, lady, awe you a piwate?”
Eda crouched so she would be on the same level as the girl, “Are you asking because of this?” she shoved the hook off.
“Mh-mm!”
“Oh, well,” Eda looked around her, and then leaned in a conspiratory manner, “Can you keep a secret?”
“Yeah!”
“You sure?”
“Mhmm….cross my heawt and hope to die!” the girl declared.
“Ok, ok, let’s not go that far,” Eda chuckled, “but good to know because, and this does have to stay a secret…I am a pirate!2
The girl gasped, “Really? Ooops!” she covered her mouth immediately.
“Yeah, really.”
“Are you a bad piwate like captain hook, or a good piwate?”
“What do you think?”
The girl studied her for a moment, then glanced at Raine who waved back, and then studied Eda for a few moments longer, “You awe a good piwate! Why awe you hewe.”
Eda looked around herself as if looking for someone listening in, “Ok, but this really has to remain a secwet, ok?”
The girl nodded.
“I’m on a secret mission. But I can’t say what.”
“Ok, ok. Oh, you know how can you be more secwet?”
“How?” Eda acted as if this was the most interesting question in the world.
“If you hid your hook!”
“Do you think only pirates have hooks?”
“Ummm…" the girl thought for a second, "wait, is your hand under that?”
“Nope!”
The girl gasped, “What happened to it?”
Eda shrugged, “Lost it in an accident. So, now I have a hook! To carry things and to drive…my ship.”
“Does it huwt?” the girl ask
“Sometimes, a little bit. But it’s cool, isn’t it?”
“Oh yeah, really cool! But, um, if you still need it to pick things up, then you can’t remove it…” she tapped her hand on the chin, “Maybe you can wear long sleves! Like that lady there,” she pointed to a woman in a long beach gown with long, batlike sleeves, “So it stays hidden!”
“You know what kiddo,” Eda nodded emphatically, “I think I will. Now, I think it’s your turn for ice-cream.”
"Oh, ok!"
The girl and her mum took their order and, as they left, the girl waved back at them, "By piwate lady! bye piwate Lady's green-haired friend!"
Eda waved back.
"That was adorable, pirate lady" Raine chuckled.
"Shush and order, of my green-haired friend!"
….
“Raine, come on, the water is great!” Eda waved, her hair soaked, her stump now free as, no matter how cool they were, her prosthetics were still not waterproof.
Raine eyed the sea doubtfully before dipping a toe in. Cold. But was it too cold? They forced themselves in until the water was halfway up their calves. Their calves were freezing, “No, nope, nope, it’s freezing, Eda!”
“Freezing you say?” she asked and Raine realized her intention a bit too slowly. Before they knew it, she splashed them. “Not, stop! Eda, no, no…don’t you dare…” they warned as they noticed her reaching for their arm and she pulled them forward.
Splash.
“Fuck!” they cursed as the cold washed over them, sputtering the water out as they emerged from it, their hair sticking to their forehead.
Eda was cackling, “That’s what you get for this!” she pointed to the letters, still visible on her belly.”
“You, are,” they muttered, as they were dragging themselves out of the water, shivering like a wet cat, pouting, “Awful!”
“Raine…” she followed them out, “Come on! I’m sorry!”
“No, you’re not!” They pouted, but could not hide the snicker in their voice.
“Well, I did warn you about the revenge,” she said, leaning down to kiss their forehead.
“You owe me cuddles this evening now!”
“Oh, what a horrible, horrible fate!” she chuckled, taking another towel and wrapping them into it. “Seriously, are you ok?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine! Still, I hate the cold!”
“I know," she nodded emphatically, "that’s why I used it for revenge!”
“You’re awful.”
“Love you too, Rainstorm!”