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As if to mock him, it appears exactly a week after Levi's celebrated his 40th birthday. A single gray hair.
He first spots it while shaving and his hand that's holding the razor stops in midair as he stares at that single gray hair in the mirror. It's sprouting forth from his temple like a malignant growth, ugly and out of place.
Setting the razor down, he leans in close, so close that his nose is almost touching his reflection, and cranes his head to the side. Maybe it's just a trick of the light, he thinks, please let it be a trick of the light. But no, even though he turns his head side to side, looking from every possible angle, the gray hair remains exactly where it is, right smack at the center of his forehead.
Of course, he does the only reasonable thing and cuts it off with the sharp edge of his razor. It's just one single hair, and now that it's gone, he looks immaculate as always, except for the few smudges of shaving cream still clinging on to his jaw that he wipes off with a dry towel, and that's the end of that.
Only a couple of days later, he catches another gray hair. And yet another. They're just minuscule streaks in an otherwise healthy and full head full of hair, so realistically they shouldn't bother him as much as they do. Unless you get really up close and personal to his head, and only a few select people allowed to do that, the gray hairs are virtually invisible, blending right in with the as-of-yet black strands.
That's the problem, though. One single gray hair has already turned to several, and if this keeps up, soon it's going to be much harder to hide. He's Humanity's Strongest, damn it, and with that title comes a certain set of expectations. Becoming a grayed and weary old man does not mix well with that, even if it is an inevitable human process; a slow and lawless decomposition if you will.
For all his skills and strength, this is one of those things he has no control over.
On one particularly colorless evening, both in terms of the weather and his hair since he'd just happened to find two new gray hairs right next to one another, Eren finds him in the washroom while he's lamenting in front of the mirror again.
"What are you doing," Eren asks with his brows knitting together in confusion. Oh, sweet, lovely Eren who's found him in more ways than one and still keeps finding him day after day. Bright and clever Eren who, despite of all his burdens, has a whole life ahead of him.
"Nothing," he replies quickly as he runs a hand through his hair in what he hopes looks like a casual gesture. "What are you doing?"
"Uh, I live here," Eren points out, a hint of amusement in his inquisitive gaze. "This is our room. Did I startle you?"
"Of course not." Right, these are the quarters they've shared for seven years now, as unbelievable as it sometimes feels. "Aren't you supposed to be supervising the new recruits?"
"They finished cleaning early, so I let them have the rest of the day off," Eren says with a shrug, lips quirking upwards fondly. "They're good kids, if a little too brash at times."
"Sounds a lot like you when you were that age," Levi comments and receives a sharp poke at his side.
"Shush, you." Strong tanned arms come to wrap around his waist from behind as Eren rests his chin on Levi's shoulder, their eyes meeting in the mirror. "I was the perfect cadet."
"You still are, you know," Levi reminds him. His hands idly climbs up to pet at the few loose strands that have fallen free from Eren's pony tail, twirling the dark locks around his finger. With each passing year, Eren keeps getting more and more handsome, and seriously, it's not fair. All of him is so firm and defined, muscles sculpted by long hours of training and hair reaching well past his shoulders. He'd stopped cutting it at some point, but to be honest, Levi doesn't mind it at all – quite the opposite, in fact. "Perfect."
For all his damn attractiveness, Eren still looks like an overgrown puppy as he grins into the fabric of Levi's shirt, all but vibrating in delight. "Shush," he repeats with a light and melodious laugh that makes Levi's knees go weak. "You flatter me."
"That, I do," Levi admits as his hand skitters up further into Eren's hair. He'd noticed a long time ago the affinity Eren has for genuine and loving praises, so of course Levi makes sure to dish them out as often as possible. "So you're all done for today? What about those reports Erwin dumped on you?"
Eren noses at the side of his face affectionately, just like an actual puppy. "Done and done," he purrs."They were boring as shit to fill out, but I finished them."
Being all too familiar with boring ass paperwork, Levi can't help but to give him an impressed look. "Well done. You've obviously been working hard," he says with an appreciative nod as he struggles to turn around in Eren's embrace. Damn, are his gray hairs more visible from this angle? "Such a responsible and handsome squad leader, I bet all the new recruits are swooning over you." He doesn't mean to sound jealous, he swears, so to lighten the mood he reaches up to pinch at Eren's cheek.
A bubbly laugh escapes from Eren as he ducks his head to hide the redness blooming over his features. "Not really, no," he says with a grin. "Somehow it seems to be common knowledge that I only have eyes for you."
"Good," Levi hums in response and kisses him, slow and gentle. Eren's lips open up easily under his, the soft, pleased sound he makes at the back of his throat inviting Levi to explore his mouth further.
Kissing Eren is easily one of his favorite pastimes, and he likes to think he's gotten pretty good at it, too. Eren's so responsive to every little touch, worming in closer and brimming with delight as Levi idly grazes his teeth over his bottom lip. He picks up on the faint taste of apples from Eren's tongue, juicy and pleasantly sour, but it's soon gone as Eren draws back.
"I was thinking of taking a bath now that I'm all done with today," he mutters, lips only inches away from Levi's, which is rather distracting, he has to admit. "Wanna join me?"
Cleanliness and Eren are both his favorite things in the world, so how could he refuse such an offer?
Being an officer has its perks, such as the fairly spacious private washroom adjoining his quarters. It's fairly modest with only the basic necessities, but it's all his. And Eren's, too, since by now they've stopped even trying to hide their relationship. What's his is also Eren's, and it feels like the natural order of things.
While Levi's not really one for luxuries, the large wooden bathtub is one of those rare few amenities he wouldn't give up for anything. If titans ever rampaged through their headquarters, the first thing he'd salvage would be the bath tub, never mind the fact that it weighs a good number of pounds. It's made of solid oak, the surface slightly worn yet smooth to the touch. With just one person in it, there's plenty of room, perhaps even too much, but with both him and Eren it's just right somehow.
Levi contemplates on this as he drags his soapy fingers through Eren's hair, pausing to rub at his scalp. It had been a gradual process, but slowly Eren had wormed his way into Levi's heart and made his home there, as if his place had always been by Levi's side.
"Ow, ow," Eren complains when Levi happens to pull too hard on a knot in his lengthy hair.
"Sorry." Pressing an apologetic kiss by his ear, Levi gets to work on clearing out the particular tangle. It's not the easiest task since in addition to its length, Eren's hair is also remarkably full and thick. Not a single gray hair anywhere, naturally – Eren's only 24 and it shows, as he's constantly brimming with bright youthful energy and optimism.
Once he's sorted through the mess that is Eren's hair, Levi breathes out a content sigh. "There, I didn't even pull any of it out," he says, but before he has the chance to continue, he's struck with a horrible thought.
What if it doesn't end with going gray? What if – goodness gracious – he starts going bald?
For a moment, he imagines himself, old, weary and balding, by Eren's side, Eren who's over ten years younger than him and at least a hundred times more radiant, Eren who could charm just about anyone off their feet with his honest smile and sparkling emerald eyes. Suddenly there's a heavy weight settling at the pit of his stomach.
"Hey, keep doing that," Eren demands, nudging his head against Levi's hands and interrupting his nightmarish visions.
"Yeah," he agrees absently, and though he does return to gently scrubbing through Eren's hair, his thoughts remain elsewhere. What about twenty, thirty years down the line? He might be dead by then, or even worse, unable to look after himself. It would make sense for Eren to find someone younger by then, if not already before that.
After he's rinsed away all the suds from Eren's hair, he simply holds him against his chest for a while, silent and unmoving as he breathes in the scent of soap and wet wood. Maybe it's selfish of him but he wants to have Eren here forever, to keep him safe in his arms, all for Levi to love and adore.
The water sloshes around them as Eren wiggles around in his embrace, more pleased than inconvenienced. "I can hear you glowering, you know," he says, poking Levi at his ribs lightly. "Just spit it out, whatever it is." It's said in a lazy, leisurely tone that suggests Eren's thoughts are not nearly as gloomy as his right now. In fact, he's like putty in Levi's hands, so it's easy to coax him to turn around and face him.
"Look," Levi states and all but thrusts his head at Eren's face. He'd expected Eren to recoil in horror after laying eyes on the gray strands, but instead Eren just looks adorably confused, his arms coming to wind around Levi's neck.
"You want me to do your hair as well?" he questions, as if he hadn't even noticed that Levi is a graying old man with one foot in the coffin already. However, as Eren's fingers gently scratch over the fuzz of his undercut Levi forgets about everything for a moment because damn that feels good. Maybe he even lets out a small embarrassing mewl under his breath, and the smile lingering on Eren's face only widens. Smug asshole.
"No, look," he tries again, as if those two words would explain everything. They should, anyway, especially since his gray hairs can probably be seen all the way from the moon.
But no, Eren remains as adorably confused as ever, and perhaps a little amused, too. "What am I looking at?" he asks, and, seemingly on a whim, presses a kiss into Levi's hair. "Have you been growing it out?"
"No," Levi says pointedly and raises a hand to pluck out the few gray hairs at his temples – of course he knows exactly where they're growing by now since he's spent countless hours staring at them from the mirror. "Look closer."
Judging by the expression on Eren's face, he still doesn't get it. Levi gives a dejected sigh. "My hair. It's going gray."
"Oh?" There are hands holding his head still as Eren scrutinizes his hair, brows creased in concentration. "Yeah, now I see it. Nice." His voice has a certain coy edge to it that makes Levi's whirling thoughts come to a full halt.
"What's so nice about slowly dying?" he asks with a suspicious look. He knows that slight flush blooming across Eren's cheeks and the way his lips quirk up in appreciation all too well, and it's definitely not the kind of reaction he'd expected.
And then, oh, the nerve of this boy, Eren laughs. It's a short, flowing sound that still, after all these years, causes something to flutter wildly against Levi's ribcage.
"That's a bit of an unconventional way to put it," Eren states, his mouth skimming over Levi's – thankfully not yet receding – hairline. "You're older than me, you wouldn't get it."
"Try me anyway," Levi replies, nervous curiosity laced in his voice.
Pulling back, Eren cups his face in his hands and takes a good long look at his features, his gaze so intense that Levi considers sliding underwater to escape it. "Well, I just like it. Makes you look all the more dignified." He slides his fingers down along the curve of Levi's jaw in a featherlight caress. "It's kinda similar to how I like you dressed down and out of uniform with a five o'clock shadow."
"So basically you like it when I look like an old man," Levi states flatly.
Eren gives a nonchalant shrug. "I have strange fetishes, we've established that before," he replies with a hint of a smile in his voice, still tracing idle patterns along Levi's cheek. "My handsome man, you're so mature and competent."
Levi's sure that his face must be bright red by now, and not just from the hot water, either. "What the hell, Eren?" he huffs, trying to sound as dismissive as he can even though he's having significant trouble sitting still.
Eren leans closer and presses their foreheads together, eyes thankfully slipping closed because Levi cannot deal with that insistent admiring stare right now. "Sorry," Eren says, sounding like he's not sorry in the least. "I like it when you're imperfect, gray hairs and all."
For a while, Levi doesn't say anything, instead he just listens to the quiet sound of water around them and follows the path of a single rivulet falling down the side of Eren's face. Peaceful moments like this have been hard to come by lately after Eren's promotion to squad leader, and while Levi's so incredibly proud of his boy for working so hard, he does worry at times.
He knows all too well that Eren's prone to skipping meals and foregoing sleep and otherwise neglecting himself in favor of squeezing in a couple more hours of training and a few more experiments with Hanji. Though Eren's become a strong and determined young man who towers over him by now, Levi's still sometimes struck with the urge to bundle him up in a dozen blankets and keep him safe from all harm.
"You can do my hair if you want, by the way," Levi finally says, and Eren's face lights up.
"I do want," he replies and grabs the shampoo off the edge of the tub, all of his attention soon focused on lathering up Levi's hair. For all his tenacity he can be surprisingly gentle at times, such as now when he's combing through Levi's hair in slow, thorough strokes and occasionally pausing to massage at his scalp in slow circles. It does wonders in easing Levi's rigid posture and soon enough he's all but slumping against Eren.
"What if I start going bald?" he blurts out before he can stop himself.
"We'll get you a woollen hat so your head won't get cold in the winter," Eren cackles, quickly dodging the handful of foam Levi lobs at him. "You won't, stop worrying about silly things like that."
"I'm already graying prematurely, so it's pretty damn likely that I will," Levi points out with a glare. To his dismay, Eren doesn't seem to be taking this nearly as seriously as he is. Instead he just sits there, looking infuriatingly cute with a tuft of foam caught on the tip of his nose like he doesn't have a care in the world.
"You won't, because I'm gonna take really good care of you so that you don't worry yourself to death," he declares and flashes a triumphant smile as he fiddles with Levi’s gray hairs. "Seriously, I’m pretty sure these are caused by too much stress. You shouldn’t work yourself too hard."
"Like you're one to talk. You do know that most other squad leaders don't have their recruits training after sunset, right?" Levi says and tries to go for a casual tone even though his insides have gone all wobbly at the implication of Eren gently caring for him.
"That's how you trained us and we all turned out just fine," Eren counters with a twinkle in his eye. "Besides, most other officers, no, most normal human beings sleep in a horizontal position in their bed for at least eight hours instead of settling for short and uncomfortable naps while slumped over their desks."
He's clearly taught this kid too well because Levi's left with his mouth half open and no witty response coming to mind. Naturally the logical thing to do then is to kiss Eren. Yeah, that'll show him, or at least shut him up.
He catches Eren by surprise if the small squeak he lets out is anything to go by. His skin is temptingly warm and slick against Levi's and as he inches closer, he happens to graze his thigh against something hard underwater that's definitely not just wood.
Eren's looking a little too flushed when they part and Levi gives him a knowing smile. "Would you have me make like an old man and get a full eight hours of sleep tonight?" he inquires and presses further into that hardness, drawing a sharp gasp from Eren.
"Maybe," Eren starts off, his voice much more hoarse than just moments before, "we could make an exception tonight."