Work Text:
“Um,” Anakin started awkwardly, staring at the holoprojector. Now that he had started the recording, he suddenly lost the ability to speak. He stopped the recording, rearranged the words in his head and started it again.
“Hi, Master,” he said, this time a little more confidently. “I know you won’t see this for awhile.” He stopped and tilted his head to the side. “I guess I don’t know when you’re going to see this.” He took a deep breath, glancing down at his lap.
“I don’t want to worry you,” he said and snorted a small laugh. “Well, I know I will anyway no matter what I do.” He looked again at the holoprojector so Obi-Wan would be able to see his face.
“I promise I’m alright,” Anakin emphasized. “As good as I can be when you’re gone.” He took a deep breath and steadied his breath. “I don’t know why I’m nervous about talking to you like this. I think it’s just a little… odd. Usually you’re talking with me.” He laughed suddenly and covered his mouth with an ungloved hand. “Okay, maybe I’m sometimes talking at you, but sometimes you do the same to me.”
He cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter. The hum of the ship’s engines was barely noticeable and Anakin looked back at the locked door of his commander’s quarters. “I think I just miss you,” he admitted as if it were some dark secret, but it was the truth, after all.
Obi-Wan knew it. Anakin knew it. Probably everyone knew it, if Anakin were being honest with himself (but he didn’t really like to allow those thoughts in).
“What am I supposed to say in this?” Anakin ran his flesh hand through his hair and looked towards the ceiling. “This is a weird assignment, Master. I don’t know why you thought this was a good idea.”
Anakin huffed, scrubbing a hand down his face. “But you asked me to do something so I’m going to do it.” He sighed. “Because I’m such a good boy,” he said with a small laugh. “I always do what you say, Master. I always listen to you. I always obey.”
He couldn’t even keep a straight face as he finished talking. “And I would certainly not exaggerate my own accomplishments.” Shifting back and forth on the bed, he allowed his mind to wander back to their last moment together before they had to part ways - separated by so much space and so much war and so much blood.
“What would we do if you were here?” Anakin asked, trying to keep the message going. “I guess I could think of a few things,” he smirked. “Like mission reports,” he sighed, his expression suddenly serious. “I know those are your favorite things, Master, and even in our limited time together, I would want to ensure they are done with proper formatting, proper citations, and certainly done on time.”
He made a small nod with his head as if setting the message in for Obi-Wan’s benefit. “And…” He took a deep breath. “I know you would want to make sure that we’re practicing our forms, eating meals, going to bed on time, meditating.” He shook his head, still very serious. “There probably isn’t any time for anything else between such a strict schedule.
“And my very strict Master would never let us deviate from that,” Anakin said with a little tilt of his head.
Anakin knew better than anyone how difficult these missions were. It wasn’t just fighting. It wasn’t just bashing a lightsaber at things. It took as much mental endurance as it did physical endurance. And all of this in miserable conditions.
Anakin hoped he might be able to help Obi-Wan’s mood just the tiniest bit.
“I promise that I’m okay, Master,” Anakin said again. “I promise that I’m doing everything you say. And I think about you all the time.” He rolled his eyes at that even if Obi-Wan hated it.
“And you better be thinking of me too,” Anakin said stoutly. “Or I’m going to be very sore with my Master,” he said, growing serious again. “Actually, I think no matter what I’m going to be very sore next time I see you anyway.” He grinned directly at the holoprojector and imagined Obi-Wan’s expression when he would finally get to listen to it.
Anakin really hoped Obi-Wan would laugh. He loved making Obi-Wan possessive, he loved making Obi-Wan want him, but the best sound in the galaxy was Obi-Wan’s laugh.
The soft murmurs he would make when they were done fucking, the little chuckles as he teased Anakin, the playful retorts that Anakin could only describe as “sassy” even if Obi-Wan disliked the word being applied to him.
Crinkles always formed around his eyes when he laughed and he laughed with his whole body, as if it were something that he could feel in every cell.
It was full and complete.
It was what Anakin felt when he was with Obi-Wan: complete.
He exhaled sharply and realized he had paused probably a little longer than he originally meant.
“Anyway,” he sighed. “You better make it home soon, old man. Because I’m going to get there, slice up some droids…” He said it casually as if it were no big deal. “And I’m going to be home in no time. So let’s see who gets home first.”
The light flickered on Anakin’s holoprojector, telling him there was something waiting for him and he knew it had to be Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan was the only one who knew the passcode into this particular holoprojector.
The thought was more than enough to lift Anakin’s spirits even as he sat through a strategy meeting. And even as “sliced up some droids” (just as he told Obi-Wan he would do).
And when he finally - finally - had the chance to sit down, he made sure the door to his quarters was locked and the room was quiet.
And then he did something he didn’t expect. He meditated. Not for very long and not for any particular reason, he supposed. But he allowed himself to center on the moment - actually feel the moment when he could turn on his holoprojector and see Obi-Wan’s patient, perfect face.
He flipped on the holoprojector and was met with Obi-Wan.
An instant smile came to Anakin’s face as watched Obi-Wan awkwardly begin.
“Hello, dear one,” Obi-Wan began with a small smile. “I’m glad to see you took my assignment seriously,” he chuckled and Anakin found that he was laughing along with his Master. “You are a very good boy, it seems.”
“I am,” Anakin responded even if Obi-Wan couldn’t hear him.
“I suppose I just miss you too,” Obi-Wan admitted. “I wanted to hear your voice even when we couldn’t speak directly.” He laughed again. “And I hardly think I talk at you, my love. If anything, we have very productive conversations regarding your behavior,” he said, raising an eyebrow.
Even through a hologram, Anakin felt the little shiver that traveled down his spine when Obi-Wan made that face at him.
“Though I have a feeling you will be sore at your Master,” Obi-Wan continued, a guilty look overtaking the previous scolding one. “I often think that if you were here, we’d be making more headway.” He sighed heavily and huffed a derisive laugh.
Anakin wished more than anything he could kiss the worry away.
“Sometimes I think I need you more than you need me,” he said and smiled again so that he was looking right at Anakin. “And then sometimes I remember that…” He paused, taking a deep breath. “That what we have goes both ways.”
Anakin reached his mech hand towards the holoprojector as if he could somehow feel Obi-Wan in the moment.
“Because I suppose, through it all, you are everything to me,” Obi-Wan admitted. “What would I do without you?” Obi-Wan cleared his throat and straightened himself out, donning an expression of pure peace. “I love you,” he said simply. But the way he said it was as if he were declaring a truth well-known and founded in the roots of the entire universe.
“And in the end, through everything, you have made all of this worth it.” Obi-Wan inhaled deeply. “Be safe, Anakin,” he said. Another small smile crossed his face, something playful that matched the crinkles that formed in the corner of his eyes. “And I’m not asking.”
The recording ended and Anakin was again left alone. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “I love you too, Master.”