Chapter Text
The warmup before a competition is always the part that Kaveh struggles with most. He breathes in slowly through his nose and bends down. He keeps his knees straight and touches his toes with his hands, then slowly rolls back up. He moves into his dynamic stretches next, working and flexing out each joint and making sure it was fully flexible. He closes his eyes and tries to tune out the crowd around him. The noise they are all making, the heat they are expelling and attempts to focus only on himself and his body. He breathes in and then out, and then begins his warmup exercises. He jogs on the spot for a few seconds, letting his heart rate climb and his muscles warm up. He moves to his lunges, forward and sideways, one leg at a time. Controlled movements and calm breathing. Breathing through his nose is key. The air is cold and dry, and letting it flow through his nose first warms, humidifies and filters the air before it enters his lungs. He breathes out through his nose as well, slow and controlled.
He opens his eyes then and scans the arena. The seating is all packed full and crowds of people are gathered, waiting for their favourite skaters to perform. He manages to see a few banners with his name on them and his anxiety picks up again. He hopes he won’t disappoint today. Tighnari is beside him, arms crossed and bundled up in a warm coat and gloves. He looks at Kaveh calmly, reassuring him with just his gaze alone, no words are needed between longtime friends.
Tighnari was an excellent coach Kaveh thinks. At first, Tighnari had been reluctant to work with Kaveh, but Kaveh did not relent. He begged and pleaded and bargained and braided. He pulled out every tactic he could think of to just have Tighnari consider his proposal. And even now, Kaveh was not sure what had worn the older skater down. But eventually, Tighnari agreed and Kaveh was overcome with joy. And they made a good team. Tighnari’s skating was similar to Kaveh’s, with beautiful lines and thematically compelling programmes, so it wasn’t hard to click. Tighnari was strict as well, he managed to reign Kaveh’s boisterous personality easily, but he was never harsh and for that Kaveh respected him greatly. It can be easy, to get lost in the sport, in the expectations of winning gold, in the pressure and media, and become cruel. Yet Tighnari stayed soft, and his love for the sport remained strong even after cutting his own professional career short. And somewhere along the way they had become good friends. They bickered, drank together and wept together over failed relationships. And Kaveh had earned himself a close friend and confidant that he could trust.
Kaveh takes out his earbuds and places them in his jacket pockets for safekeeping. He unzips his jacket and gives it to Tighnari. He had been placed in the second round of skaters to use the ice and warm up. Kaveh was not the only skater from his home rink competing today. Scaramouche and Alhaitham, both under Nahida’s tutelage, we’re skating today as well. Kaveh knows that Scaramouche was placed in the first half of skaters, so he was already warmed up and standing by, but he is sure that Alhaitham was supposed to be warming up with himself. Kaveh finds himself a spot on the ice and looks around, yet he cannot find the tall skater anywhere. It isn’t like Alhaitham to be late, or not show up for the warmup at all. But now is not the time to worry. He only has so much time to practice before the skaters are called off the ice to get ready for their programmes.
The longer Kaveh spends on the ice, the more stable he becomes. Although he has been skating for years, he feels like a newborn foal every time he sets foot on the ice. But now, a few minutes in, his legs are steady and his lines sharp and strong. His heart still beats heavily in his chest and the best he can do is focus on his moves and his breathing. The more he skates the warmer he gets and eventually he has to start breathing out through his mouth. He purses his lips, as if he were blowing out birthday candles, and breathes.
Time is running out so Kaveh decides to practice his combination jumps just one more time. He jumps once, then twice and then lands his third perfectly. He lets a small smile grace his face and his chest relaxes a little. Tighnari had told him not to attempt any quads in his practice session, knowing full well that any attempt less than perfect would have shattered Kaveh’s mental state. Kaveh is happy to listen, but only just this once. So, he sticks with triples and with every successful jump, with every stroke of his skates, his chest opened up again and breathing became as easy as blinking. The practice session comes to an end, and he skates back to Tighnari, grabbing his jacket and water bottle from his coach.
“Have you seen Alhaitham? I’m pretty sure we were grouped together.” Kaveh takes a long drink from his water bottle and stretches out his neck.
“No actually, I haven’t seen Nahida either. But I do hope she knows that he didn’t show up.”
Kaveh zips up his club jacket again and furrows his brow. Both Alhaitham and his coach were missing. Of course, Nahida also had to look after Scaramouche, the unruly skater she had taken on quite recently. And from what Kaveh heard, he was not easy to handle.
“I’m gonna head to the bathroom really quick, ok?” Kaveh asks his coach, hoping he’ll let him out of his sights for just a moment.
“Of course. You know where it is right?”
Kaveh nods and scurries off with a promise to be back soon.
He leaves the main arena and goes into the first bathroom he finds. He leans against a wall and brings out his phone, quickly typing in Alhaitham’s name and pressing the green call button. He brought the phone up to his ear. He bites his lip as the call is ignored and he crosses his arms wondering what may have happened. He knows it’s not really any of his business. They’re not… close friends or anything like that. Nor are they teammates. They even work under different coaches. And Alhaitham is Kaveh’s biggest competition here today. If the other skater is deemed missing, then Kaveh has an almost clear shot of winning gold. He checks his phone again but there is no return call incoming. Well, if Alhaitham is going to ignore his calls then Kaveh will just have to find him himself.
He checks a few bathrooms, the most popular ones at least, and then goes outside. Sometimes Kaveh would leave the arena to go get some fresh air when he was nervous so he thought maybe Alhaitham would do the same. But the entrance and lobby were empty. All the spectators had long since taken their seats, and the contestants were all inside waiting to start. Kaveh went back and decided the locker rooms were the last rooms he had time to search.
The first one is empty, but the second room he checks reveals one person sitting hunched over on a bench. Kaveh closes the door behind him gently and steps into the room. Only when the loud hustle and bustle from the hallways is shut out does Kaveh hear the heavy breathing and small hitches coming from his fellow skater. Alhaitham’s back rises and falls in rapid succession and Kaveh is stuck to his spot.
He is unsure of how to approach. Kaveh steps around the bench calmly and moves in a wide arc around Alhaitham. Did Alhaitham hear him come in? Should he announce himself, nonetheless? Kaveh pauses once more, this time a little closer to the panicked skater.
“Alhaitham…”
But Alhaitham does not stir from his position.
Kaveh checks his watch and notes the time. If he counted correctly then at least two skaters have already performed and the ice should be getting smoothed out now. Kaveh notes his lips and decides there’s no other way to go about this situation.
He really does not want to press Alhaitham, but neither of them has time to waste. So, he sits down on the bench, not close enough to touch, but close enough that he is sure Alhaitham can feel his presence.
“What’s wrong? What happened?”
Another rickety breath.
“Tell me, Alhaitham. What happened?”
“I can’t skate.” Alhaitham’s voice comes out strained and rough and Kaveh wonders if he had been crying.
“Why not? Why can’t you skate?”
“I just can’t. Go away Kaveh.”
Kaveh purses his lips. He knows Alhaitham is just upset and Kaveh will do anything in his power to understand why.
“I’m not leaving you like this, and you know that. Know tell me what’s bothering you. We have a programme to skate in less than twenty minutes.”
“I’m not skating I told you. I’m forfeiting.”
Kaveh sputters.
“Just tell me what’s wrong already, will you? You cannot forfeit. If you do, I’ll rank higher than you and I just know that you would hate that.” Kaveh tries to appeal to Alhaitham’s competitive side but even that fails.
“I don’t care. Go win. Have fun. Drink some champagne.”
Kaveh grumbles under his breath and pinches his nose.
“Why must every interaction with you be akin to pulling a cat’s teeth?”
They sit in silence for another minute. Kaveh could practically see the others skaters’ routines in his head. He could map out their jumps and spins and steps with every second they wasted.
“Just tell me Alhaitham. An eye for an eye.”
Kaveh thinks back to that one night in their home rink, where he tore himself up over his failures and his lack of skills and an unlikely saviour in the form of Alhaitham came and listened to his troubles.
“What’s the matter with you?”
“I can't find my goddamn headphones, okay? God, will you leave me alone now?”
Kaveh simply blinks and scoots away.
“That’s…all?” He does not mean to make light of the situation as it clearly has Alhaitham in great distress, but when Kaveh came in and saw Alhaitham hunched over like that, he had thought someone had died.
Alhaitham finally looks up and glares at Kaveh. Suddenly, Kaveh is overcome with the strong urge to shove his head back to his knees.
“You don’t get it.”
“Enlighten me.”
Alhaitham sighs and looks away. But he does seem a little more composed now that he let out his big secret.
“I can’t…skate without them. It’s too much. The lighting, the noise, the temperature, the commentators. It feels like everyone is crawling under my skin and poking me with their little hands. And my stupid costumes always have itchy parts and they’re always too warm.
“I’ll die if I have to go out and skate Kaveh.”
Kaveh racks his brain for any solutions.
“Well…maybe we can ask the arena to dim the lights! Like a showcase. Or to turn down the music a little bit. Not much we can do about the crowd though. You never know, they may make accommodations for you.”
“No, I’m not skating.”
Kaveh sort of understood. He himself experienced similar things under the pressure of competition but the way Alhaitham talked about it shows Kaveh how much more he is affected by these things. But even then, they need to be on the ice soon. Kaveh cannot let Alhaitham wallow like this.
“You sound ridiculous. Come on, where did you leave them? At home? Will normal earbuds work? You can have mine.”
Alhaitham shakes his head and looks up at Kaveh.
“No… I had them with me here. I took them off to change but when I turned back around they were gone.”
It makes sense, Alhaitham is not the type of guy to simply misplace things out of carelessness. Kaveh was the more absentminded of the two of them, leaving his keys, phone and even wallet everywhere and anywhere.
“Ok, so? That’s a good thing. It means they must be here in this room. They probably got knocked over by someone in a rush. Let’s go, we’ll find them.”
Kaveh tries to pull on Alhaitham’s arm to get him moving but Alhaitham does not budge. He is as sturdy as an old oak in stormy weather.
“Come on… we’re wasting time.” Kaveh pulls one more time before the door to the room bangs open.
“Kaveh?”
It was Tighnari, looking extremely flustered.
“God, there you are. Where have you been? I have been looking for you everywhere. Your spot is coming up soon.”
Cyno peaked over Tighnari’s shoulder. “Huh? What’s going on here?”
Kaveh does not know Cyno very well. Not only is Cyno a speed skater, but he is also Alhaitham’s best friend. Anytime the two of them happened to be at the rink together, they were glued at the hip.
“Alhaitham’s being stupid and won't skate because he's lost his headphones,” Kaveh announces.
Cyno tilts his head while Tighnari strides over to Kaveh and latches on to his arm.
“Kaveh let’s go, I’ll call Nahida and tell her what’s happened. Cyno and I will help Alhaitham, but you need to go.”
Kaveh shakes off Tighnari’s grip and turns back to Alhaitham who is staring uselessly at the ground. He can’t just leave him like this.
“You,” he moves to stand in front of the taller skater. “Are downright infuriating. Get your shit together, we are finding those headphones and you are skating today.”
Tighnari looks desperate as he pleads, “No, no, no Kaveh. I will help him. You need to go. Now.”
Kaveh shakes his head, sending his hair flying in all directions.
“Alhaitham does not simply misplace his belongings… what if someone took them?” Cyno offered.
“Ok, and if that happened then there is nothing we can do about it. I will call Nahida. Kaveh. Rink. Now.” Tighnari takes out his phone to dial Alhaitham’s coach while fixing a stern look on Kaveh.
“Are you suggesting sabotage, Cyno?” Kaveh turns to the seed skater, eyebrow raised high. It seems excessive. This was not a major international competition.
“Do not worry Alhaitham, I will find the culprit and have them return your headphones,” Cyno opens up a small cleaning closet at the back of the room and brandishes an old, musty mop. “Through me, justice will be served!”
Before Kaveh or anyone else can talk some sense into him, Cyno has vanished into the hallways. Kaveh realises now why Alhaitham and Cyno are such good friends. They’re both idiots.
Tighnari sighs and rubs his forehead, dejected.
“Well, at least the sabotage route s covered for now. Now Kaveh go, before they disqualify you.”
“I still have some time left. I’m staying.”
Kaveh looks at Alhaitham and winks. “I still owe you right?”
Kaveh formulates a plan in his head.
“Now stand up. Get your shit together like usual. Get changed and put your damn skates on, okay?” They gotta be in this room somewhere, right?”
Alhaitham nods pathetically and finally moves from his seat. Although at the pace of an elderly snail.
Kaveh sniffs then, “Tighnari, please watch the competition. Call me when I have a minute until my start time.”
Tighnari hesitates but then groans, knowing he cannot convince Kaveh to change his mind. Kaveh knows tomorrow morning will be filled to the bring with long, angry lectures but it will all be worth it.
The locker room is not big, it only has four straight walls and most of the furniture is pushed up against the walls. Surely, they can’t have gone far. Kaveh didn’t want to believe someone would go out of their way to intentionally sabotage Alhaitham. But where else could they be? There are some gym bags and clothes piles thrown around and left in a heap where the athletes did not have enough time to put them away neatly. Kaveh wonders if the owners had been so careless with their belongings to simply toss them around or if this was a result of Alhaitham’s earlier rummaging. He looks back at the younger skater. Alhaitham is struggling to fit his head through his costume’s neck hole but at least he was making some progress.
Kaveh snickers and then focuses on the task at hand. He sifts through the clothing piles first, lifting items up one by one and shaking them out. But it yields no headphones, so he owes on to Alhaitham’s bags. It was unlikely but maybe Alhaitham had put them away in his bag for safekeeping and had simply forgotten about it in his anxiety. He empties out his gym bag and checks each and every pocket, anywhere they could be stuffed into.
He looks back at Alhaitham who is now struggling into his trousers, one leg at a time and then he looks back at his watch. Roughly three minutes left. He’s running out of time they both are. Kaveh drops to his knees and fishes out his phone from his pocket, turning on the flashlight. He falls to his tummy and grimaces when his face comes close to the dirty floor. He crawls until he can reach out an arm and feel under the counters for anything under them. He runs his phone’s light under the piece of furniture and lets out a yelp as the light catches on something shiny hidden at the very back.
Kaveh inches closer, pushing his arm in all the way feeling through the thick layers of dust and hair that had created a faux carpet over the floor. He gags a little when his hand touches something soft but closes his eyes shuts and really rams his shoulder against the counter. His shoulder aches but the pain goes away as soon as his fingers clasp around a cylindrical piece of heavy plastic. He slowly draws his arm out and sits up on his knees.
“Haitham! I found them!” Kaveh drops the headphones to the ground but quickly scoops them back up, hoping Alhaitham didn’t hear his verbal blunder. But all seems well when Kaveh sees that Alhaitham’s attention is solely on the headphones.
Kaveh dusts them off and stands, he reaches out to give them to Alhaitham but his phone starts buzzing and Kaveh knows his time is up.
“Fuck, okay. Here,” He shoves them into Alhaitham’s hands and makes a running start, eager to get on the ice. They may have managed to find the headphones but Kaveh still had to make his time slot, lest he risks being disqualified.
He runs down the hallway and passes a crouching Cyno but bares him no mind. He unzips his jacket and tugs it off, throwing it carelessly in a random direction. He quickly yanks off his blade guards, leaves them on the rail and steps onto the ice. It’s showtime.
“God, you cut it close.” Tighnari picks up his club jacket and silently wishes him luck.
Kaveh takes his place at the centre of the ice and wraps his arms around himself, acting for the music to start.
Alhaitham rushes out, knowing he is after Kaveh. He runs out in his socks, his skates in his hands. His makeup is smudged and his hair a mess, but it doesn’t matter because he is going to make it. He has his headphones back on and it will be fine. He barrels through the hallways and out into the arena. He fixes his costume once more and sits down next to Tighnari.
Alhaitham shoves his feet into his skates, quickly lacing them up after years of practice.
“You’re going to get him in trouble one day Alhaitham.”
He was not expecting Kaveh’s coach to acknowledge him, but he cannot find an adequate response.
“I like you. And I think you are a talented skater. But I also think Kaveh likes you a little too much for his own good. I hope you do not plan to take advantage of his kindness.”
Tighnari sniffs and stands, walking closer to watch Kaveh perform.
Alhaitham wants to reply, wants to say something to defend himself but when he looks up his gaze is stolen by Kaveh. It seemed like it always is. Kaveh looks beautiful on the ice. His costume is a magnificent blue, embellished with feathers, gems and sparkles that make him shine in the lights. Kaveh’s hair is tied artfully, a braid on one side with a feather sticking out to match his costume’s theme. Alhaitham looks down at his own regular black trousers and green satin shirt. He knows his skating would speak for itself and he does not enjoy or feel the need to have an extravagant costume, but how could he not feel envious and in awe while watching Kaveh perform?
Alhaitham moves closer to the railing and rests his arms on it, leaning in as close as he could get to Kaveh. Every jump Kaveh does he executes perfectly; every stroke is timed correctly, and every smile is bright and charismatic. He truly is a star skater. The only thing Alhaitham knows about the programme is that there was a quad Salchow at the start, and he hopes of how he hopes that Kaveh landed it and got the full points for it.
Kaveh moves to his last element, the combination spin, and Alhaitham thinks to himself. Maybe he likes Kaveh a little too much too.
The applause is deafening when Kaveh finishes his routine. The flowers and teddies cover the ice immediately and Kaveh looks so wonderful soaking in the praise. This is where he belongs. On a stage surrounded by adoring fans. Kaveh manages to catch Alhaitham’s eyes while he bows and he sends him a wink and a small smile. Alhaitham turns away and realises how much trouble he could be in.
He doesn’t get to see Kaveh’s score before he takes his place on the ice. He holds his hands close to his chest and sets his feet in their correct starting position. He lets the sound of cheers and yells ebb away and fills his mind only with calming thoughts. He focuses on the music that has started playing and lets his song wash over him. And for the first time in his skating career, he lets himself get lost in the performance. He tries to feel the music more, to follow the natural curves of his body as he moves. Kaveh always complained that he looked too stiff and robotic and would then make silly robot noises. Kaveh would hound Alhaitham on his music choice and the story behind it and when Alhaitham did not give a satisfactory answer, Kaveh would tap his chest, right over his heart, and call him the tin man from The Wizard of Oz. He smiles and his heart flutters.
His first quad loop is perfect, and his second jump is flawless.
He moves into his step sequence, letting his mind drift away and muscle memory takes over. If he is the tin man, then the next time Kaveh brought it up, he will have to call him the lion who lost his courage. He chuckles to himself and then his left foot tangles behind his right and he stumbles slightly. He shakes himself out of his daydreams and rights himself, speeding through the last few steps to catch up to his song. How embarrassing. Alhaitham wished he could bury his face into his hands at his blunder. But he had to finish his routine. Oh, Kaveh will never let him live this down. He closes his eyes, if he can’t see the audience then the audience can’t see him, right?
He finishes his routine with his combination spin, and he does not dare lift his gaze while he bows, too embarrassed to see what others think of his blunder.
He makes his way to the kiss and cry and sees Nahida waiting for him. He sits himself down by her side and she takes his hand in his.
“Tighnari filled me in about what happened earlier. I am sorry I was not there with you. I have no excuse. Scaramouche was being… uncooperative after his routine.”
Alhaitham nods and squeezes her hand as they wait for the results to be announced. It all worked out and well, saying Scaramouche was being a brat is like saying the sky is blue.
His score rolls out and just like he assumed, his mild misstep had cost him first place. But his chest fills with a warm feeling when he sees that Kaveh took the gold.
Alhaitham is used to skating up to the podium with Kaveh by his side. For the last two years, they have been competing in the same tournaments and competitions and have always ranked gold and silver. But today, Kaveh has taken the middle position, skating to Alhaitham’s right and he could not be any happier to let Kaveh has his moment. Alhaitham turns to the side and sees Kaveh is already looking at him with a cheerful smile on his face.
Kaveh skates a little closer to him and then bumps their shoulders, veering Alhaitham to the right.
“See? I told you we’d skate today.” Kaveh winks and Alhaitham pushes him back.
“You had me worried for a moment there you know? When you missed that one step and stumbled? I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.”
“We all have our flaws Kaveh.”
Kaveh laughs a beautiful laugh that reminds Alhaitham of bells. He gazes up at Kaveh who has now taken his position on the podium and is being awarded his flowers and medal.
Kaveh accepts gracefully and smiles for the photographs. He then leans down and whispers in Alhaitham’s ear. “Your cowlick has been standing up straight this entire time.”
Alhaitham, although not vain, is mortified beyond belief and tries to smooth his hair down while Kaveh’s laughs grow louder.