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Sometimes, the most shocking of realizations come at the most mundane of times, and for Akito, it happens on a Friday night when he's in the middle of making curry for dinner.
He doesn’t know what life decision he made in the past that led him up to this moment.
Maybe it was when he and the other VBS members decided they would put on an event even greater than the legendary Rad Weekend, which they actually achieved during their last year of high school. Or maybe, it went even further back than that, back when he decided he was going to start seriously pursuing music for the first time. Heck, it might even be when it was decided that he's attending Kamiyama High.
Either way, it doesn’t matter now.
How the hell did he manage to develop a crush on his purple haired, show-obsessed weirdo of a roommate?
The same roommate who's currently in the middle of building some sort of giant, metallic contraption in the living room of their shared apartment, murmuring and cackling to himself whilst he does so.
Yeah, that’s right. He's been sharing an apartment with Kamishiro Rui. For the past year now in fact.
When he graduated high school last year, he didn’t know what he wanted to do. He was lost. Toya and Kohane got into, and are still currently attending, highly prestigious universities (which he didn’t even bother trying to take the entrance exams for) while An went overseas with Taiga-san to further her singing career. His parents, well mainly his mom, wanted him to at the very least get a college degree. So that’s what he went with, having no better idea in mind.
So, he studied hard and got into a decent university. Nothing super prestigious but not too shabby either.
And that’s what ultimately led him to becoming roommates with Rui. He needed a place that was close to his university but not so expensive where he couldn’t afford it. This proved to be extremely hard. However, one day, while he was walking back home from his part time job, he randomly bumped into Rui on the street. They had chatted for a bit, and it was then Akito discovered Rui was actually looking for a new roommate since his old one had moved out. It wasn’t until after he moved in that he found out why Rui needed a new roommate in the first place.
The reason being the old roommate was fed up living with Rui and his endless chaotic antics.
Had Akito known this beforehand, he definitely would’ve declined the offer, but he didn't, so he agreed to it. Especially because it was too good of an offer to turn down. The apartment happened to be close to his university, the cost was reasonable, and he knew Rui was a good person.
Except, the first few weeks of them living together could only be described as a complete disaster.
He still remembered how horrified he felt when he first stepped into the apartment on his move-in day and was greeted with the sight of colorful props and machines in every single corner of the apartment. Seriously, it was so bad that he was about to just turn around and leave, but obviously couldn’t since he already signed a contract.
It took them a long time but eventually, they started getting used to one another. Akito learned many things about Rui: how he could oftentimes cause a mess when tinkering with his machines but always cleans up after himself (eventually), how he would sometimes be so into his work that he forgets to eat, which happened so often that Akito started cooking for the both of them, how Rui would always give him free tickets to see his shows…
Yeah, there were moments that made him want to scream in frustration, Rui was still as passionate about shows as ever, but he somehow got used to it. Hell, the things he used to find weird, crazy, or annoying about Rui, he now finds endearing.
It was an acumination all these cute quirks and tidbits about Rui that Akito ended up falling for the guy before he even realized it.
Which brings him back to his current predicament: him realizing that he genuinely likes Rui.
Akito numbly shuts off the flame, still trying to process his thoughts. He mindlessly lifts the cover off the pot and stirs, dipping a spoon into the curry and bringing it to his mouth to taste. It’s done.
The rich aroma of his veggie-less curry travels throughout the apartment, alerting a certain purple haired menace to its presence.
“Akito-kun? Is dinner ready,” Rui calls out to him.
Akito makes a noise of confirmation. “It’s done! Get over here and help set up the table already!”
He hears Rui begin to hurriedly tidy up whatever mess he made in the living room.
He takes off his apron, neatly folding it before storing it back into its designated cabinet. Slipping on some mittens, he carries the pot of piping hot curry onto the dining table, making sure to place it carefully onto a pot holder in order to prevent damage to the table. There are already enough burn marks in the apartment as it is, courtesy of Rui and his inventions.
"The curry smells really good, Akito-kun! I can't wait to eat," Rui says as he enters the room, moving towards the cabinets to take out the dishware and cutlery.
Rui finishes setting up the table and takes a seat as Akito scoops up some fluffy rice into their bowls, pouring a generous scooping of curry on top before setting it down in front of Rui. He does the same for himself and sits down.
“Thank you for the meal,” Rui says before excitedly digging into the curry, humming in satisfaction the moment the spoonful of rice and curry enters his mouth. “Your cooking is always the best!”
Akito fondly huffs at the compliment. “You just say that because I don’t add in veggies anymore.” It’s honestly concerning how many healthy, non-veggie recipes he knows how to cook now because of Rui.
He genuinely doesn't understand how Rui gets away with never eating any veggies and still looks as good as he does. It’s infuriating. Especially when Rui is still 6 centimeters taller than him. Seriously, how the hell did that handsome bastard end up growing so tall when he avoids veggies like the goddamn plague.
He must be making a disgruntled expression right now because Rui laughs at him and reaches over the table to pat his shoulder.
“Veggies are gross,” he declares, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. Look, Akito has his fair share of food he dislikes (carrots) but he still eats them when he has no choice. Sometimes.
“You…” Akito begins but stops himself with a sigh. “Nevermind. Just finish your food.”
Why's he in love with this guy again?
“What would I ever do without you,” Rui softly says, looking at him like he’s the most precious thing in the world.
Oh yeah. Because Rui makes his heart flutter without even trying. Dammit, why did he have to realize that he’s in love with Rui? As the saying goes, ignorance is bliss and try as he might, but Akito cannot ignore his feelings for the guy any longer now that he's realized them. It doesn't help when he literally sees his damn face everyday too.
He shoves a spoonful of curry rice into his mouth instead of answering back. This is so embarrassing, how can Rui just casually say stuff like that out loud.
Rui chuckles at him before picking up his dirty bowl and spoon to put into the sink.
“I’m going to continue my work in the living room now. Let me know if you need anything, Akito-kun.”
And just like that, Akito is left alone to stew in his inner thoughts and feelings again. He finishes off his own bowl and starts cleaning up.
What should he do with these feelings? Forget them? Ignore them? Get over them?
Whatever he does, it can’t be accepting them, facing them, and most importantly, confessing them because-
How could Rui ever like someone like him back?
He's just an unremarkably average person who doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life. Everyone else in his life seems to be thriving: Kohane and Toya are doing well at their respective universities, An is starting to make a name for herself overseas, and even Ena got into the art school she wanted to go to so badly.
And then there's Rui.
Rui is attending one of the best tech schools in the country while simultaneously still working as a director at Phoenix Wonderland. He’s made a name for himself in the directing world, practically receiving offers on a daily basis from other theater companies, asking for his help. An amazing genius like him is way out of Akito's league.
All he has going for him is singing, and even then, he never was the one to stand out in his group. It's always been either Kohane or An or Toya. Never him.
Don't get him wrong, he’s happy the closest people in his life are succeeding—really he is. But sometimes, especially on sleepless nights when his inner thoughts are being way too loud to ignore, he feels the familiar prickle of envy wrapping its ugly tendrils onto his heart. It hurts. It makes him feel like the worst person in the world, not being unequivocally happy for the people in his life that deserve all the success they worked hard for.
He works hard too. He works harder than most people to make up for his lack of talent but sometimes even that’s not enough.
That’s why Rui will never like someone as terrible as him back. Rui deserves better. Not someone as unpleasant and grouchy as himself.
That's why he's never going to confess.
He’s already resigned himself to a fate of unrequited love.
Rui is in love with his roommate. Has been for the past few months now.
What was initially a flickering candlelight of mild interest and curiosity turned into a full blown wildfire of affection.
When he had somewhat jokingly asked Akito if he wanted to move in and become his roommate, he was shocked that the younger actually said yes.
Over the course of several months of living together, Rui noticed many things about Akito, the most important being how Akito can be so kind and caring to other people but so harsh on himself.
He doesn’t get it.
Rui is a mess. When it comes to taking care of himself anyway. He often skips meals in favor of working on shows, pulls all-nighters in favor of working on shows, rarely goes out to socialize or have fun in favor of working on shows, the list goes on.
He loves shows so much that he forgets to take care of himself.
And he genuinely saw nothing wrong with the way he lived until Akito came into his life. Now, he eats three healthy meals everyday since Akito cooks for both of them, has a relatively good sleep schedule since Akito gets mad at him when he doesn’t get enough sleep, and goes out on weekends, mostly with Akito, because Akito wants him to take breaks and have some fun.
He wants to confess—truly, he does.
But, the only thing stopping him from doing so is the fear Akito won’t return his feelings and things will become awkward between the both of them. He’s afraid Akito will reject him and move out and leave him all on his own again. The following heartbreak will be painful. He already had to let go of his precious friends once, he doesn’t want a part two of that.
And so, he settles. He tells himself what they have is already good enough for him, tells himself that he’s okay with being nothing more than a good roommate and friend to Akito, tells himself that it’s for the best if things stay this way. Maybe one day, if he convinces himself enough times, he’ll start to believe it.
He's not entirely certain if Akito even likes him back, or is even interested in dating in the first place.
Except, his friends keep telling him to just confess already every time they have their weekly facetime calls. They can’t meet up in person anymore since Tsukasa's studying theater in New York, and Nene’s also studying theater overseas, but in London. Emu is still in Japan, but she’s at another university studying business. At least, she and Rui still get to do shows together every once in a while.
He recalls a certain exchange he had with Tsukasa and Nene the other night that he often finds himself thinking about these days.
“What do you mean you guys still haven’t asked him out yet?!!!! You two already act like a married couple!!!!!!!”
“...Tsukasa, stop being so loud, you’re hurting my ears!”
“Whoops! Sorry about that Nene!!!”
“What. Did. I. Just. Say.”
Rui chuckled at his friends’ antics. They haven’t changed at all.
“Yeah…we’re still just friends,” he said.
He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t slightly sad every time he had to tell his friends that they still weren’t together. His friends easily picked up on his dejected tone.
“It’s not like you to be so shy, Rui. You certainly had no problems doing whatever you wanted back in high school,” Tsukasa said while also shuddering at all the memories of all the things Rui mercilessly put him through. “That’s why you should just go for it!!!”
Nene hummed in agreement. “Yeah, Rui, why don’t you just ask him out already? Based on everything you told us so far, it doesn’t seem like he’d reject you.”
He sighed. He was aware that Akito did like him in some way, but he’s not sure if it’s in a friend way or in a like-like way. If he got it wrong, there was no going back. He wasn’t afraid of the act of confessing itself. He was afraid of Akito’s rejection. When he voiced his uncertainties aloud to his friends, they immediately fell quiet.
“Oh, Rui…”
After that, the two of them did their best to cheer him up with their stories while studying in America and England. They talked until Rui could hear the birds chirping outside. By the end of the call, Rui’s stomach hurt from laughing so much.
He really does miss his friends. He hopes they get to do a show together soon.
A voice pulls him out of his thoughts.
“Rui.”
He looks up from his work. Whoops, looks like he didn’t get much done. From where he’s at, he can see that Akito is about to enter his own room, seemingly about to turn in for the night.
“Yes?”
“I’m heading off to bed now. I already packed some leftovers for your lunch tomorrow, so you better not forget to bring it with you. And don’t stay up too late again.”
“Okay~ Goodnight, Akito-kun,” he says, feeling his heart melt into a puddle from the sweet reminder.
“Night.”
Ah…he really is in love with Akito, isn’t he?
Akito doesn’t know what higher power compels him to text his older sister for help (hint: it's called desperation), but he tells himself beggars can't be choosers, reaching for his phone and opening up the messaging app.
He's gonna make sure to keep it as vague as possible though. The last thing he needs is for Ena to start being nosy about his…current troubles.
His and Ena’s relationship has improved by leaps and bounds over the past couple of years. While they can’t claim to be as close as, say, Tsukasa-senpai and his little sister, they definitely made up with each other, and Akito finds himself relying on Ena more often these days. He’s pretty sure it’s the same for Ena but neither of them will ever admit it to the other because they both suffer from what Akiyama annoyingly dubs “chronic tsundere-ness.” He’s gonna blame their old man’s emotional negligence for that one.
He taps on Ena's contact, and the chat opens up to a previous message asking for him to help buy her some special limited edition makeup set. Needless to say, he left her on read. She lives an hour away from him by train, there's actually no way he's gonna do that. He pointedly ignores the recently purchased pink bag sitting in the corner of his room.
Me: hey ena
Me: i need ur opinion on something
Ena: u left me on read asshole
Ena: what do u want im busy
On second thought, maybe not much has changed. Ena’s still her rude and grumpy self to him as usual. She’s probably busy with her art projects or whatever, best not to bother her then.
Me: nevermind
Ena: just tell me already!!!
So is she busy or not? Why is she like this?
Me: whats a good way to help someone forget about their crush
Ena: huh?
Ena: why would someone want to do that?
Me: its complicated
Complicated doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of the mess that is his feelings for Rui. Okay, it’s not complicated-it’s pretty straightforward actually, but he digresses.
Ena: ???
Ena: well
Ena: i guess the best way would be to tell them to stay away from their crush until they forget about them
Yeah, that’s not possible. He literally sees Rui everyday. It’s simultaneously the best and worst thing ever. Best because he sees his crush everyday. Worst because he sees his crush everyday.
Ena: or they could y’know
Me: could what?
Ena: stop being a coward and confess
Alright, that’s enough of that now. He sets his phone down and sighs, running a hand through his messy locks. Looks like there’s nothing he can do but mutually pine for the rest of his life. Or until he moves out.
The thought of moving out anytime soon upsets him more than he’s willing to admit.
Several weeks go by since he asked Ena for help, and Akito still hasn’t done anything other than homework, singing, and thinking about Rui. So, the usual. The only difference now is his heart does a painful squeeze every time they spend time together. He ignores this and pretends everything is fine.
During one of their usual movie nights, Rui asks him a question out of the blue.
"Hey, Akito-kun. What's your ideal type for a romantic partner?"
You, his traitorous brain immediately supplies. He mentally slaps himself. Yeah, there's actually no way in hell he's ever gonna say that out loud.
Instead, he lifts an eyebrow, turning away from the screen in favor of staring at Rui questioningly. “Hah? What are you talking about?”
His cheeky weirdo of a roommate has the audacity to simply smile, all cat-like. “Just wondering.”
Suspicious. Why is he suddenly bringing this up? Akito humphs, annoyed, but mulls it over, desperately trying and failing to ignore the feeling of hope that Rui might be interested in him.
"Someone who actually likes me for who I am, I guess…" It's kind of a generic answer, but it isn't inaccurate. He does want someone who'd stay by his side and genuinely like him, despite all his many flaws and lame self. Did he hope, somewhere deep down in his heart, that Rui would be that someone who likes him even though there’s so many other amazing people out there? Maybe.
“Someone who likes you back huh…hehe I guess I do qualify then,” Rui whispers.
Akito doesn’t catch what he says. He slightly lowers the movie’s volume. “Huh? What did you say just now?”
“It’s nothing.”
Akito frowns, feeling as if he missed something important, but leaves him be. Halfway into the movie, he feels a weight drop onto his shoulder, drawing his attention away from the screen.
“Rui…?”
A puff of air tickles his neck in response. Rui fell asleep on him. Again.
“You’re the one who wanted to watch this in the first place…” he sighs.
He carefully moves Rui off his shoulder and onto his lap. He just doesn’t want Rui complaining to him about his sore neck the next morning, that's all. Totally no other reason.
Akito ends up finishing the movie on his own. Rui’s still fast asleep on his lap. Cute.
Smiling softly, he threads his fingers through Rui’s silky hair, untangling the knots he somehow formed in his sleep. Rui probably fell asleep because he spent the whole day running around on set, directing multiple rehearsals today.
It's quiet moments like these when he allows himself to be a little selfish and pretend he’s allowed to be more than a friend to Rui.
When Rui begins to stir, he quickly removes his hand and gets up, deftly stuffing a couch pillow under Rui’s head, just in time for the older to blearily blink awake. That was close. He's not sure what he can even say if he got caught.
“...Oya? Did I fall asleep mid movie again,” he asks, yawning as he lifts himself upright from his previous lying position. “Sorry about that Akito-kun…”
“It’s fine. The movie wasn’t that amazing or anything.” He doesn’t actually know since he kind of zoned out after about an hour in.
Rui pouts. “I still feel bad for making you watch it all alone though. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”
There’s really no need for him to feel bad, but since he’s offering…Akito’s not gonna say no to that.
“Buy me those limited edition souffle pancakes tomorrow. Y’know, from the store near Phoenix Wonderland?”
Rui laughs, and Akito feels his cheeks warm up. “What are you laughing at, you weirdo…”
“Nothing~ I’ll be sure to bring some back with me after work.”
"Boohoo, Akito-kun is so cruel to me…" he cries, dramatically falling and flopping down next to him on the couch with a fake sniffle.
It’s a normal Wednesday night. Another week has gone by of him not asking Akito out. However, ever since that one movie night, he feels as though the two of them have become much closer than before. He doesn't know why exactly, but he can feel it. Maybe if things keep going this well for him, he'll get over his fears and finally confess.
The both of them are slowly chipping away at their work. Akito is on the coach, working on his essay, while Rui is on the floor with the stage blueprints for his upcoming show this weekend, messily laid out all around him. Speaking of new shows, he's extremely bummed Akito can't make it to its premiere, and it's the reason why he's (fake) crying. His crying may be fake, but the sadness he feels is very much real.
Akito sets his laptop down, giving him a judgmental look. "Oh, quit your fake crying act already. I already told you that I'm gonna be busy that day," he says, but Rui can see the corners of his mouth slightly tilt downward, as though he feels guilty about being unable to make it.
How can someone be this adorable? It's downright criminal how cute Akito looks while pouting.
"I'll stop crying… but only if you kiss me better~" Rui teases. He's just joking, after all, Akito doesn't like him that way—
"...You shouldn't joke about something like that. Save it for someone you actually like," Akito says, his voice slightly breaking towards the end.
"Eh?"
Wait. What does he mean by ‘someone he actually likes’?
That's… you though, he belatedly thinks to himself.
When he sees the shocked expression on Akito’s face, he realizes he let his thoughts slip from his mouth. He said that. Out loud. To his crush. Who’s now staring at him with an unreadable expression, not saying a word.
Oh no, what has he done—he literally just accidentally confessed. He feels his heart beating out of his chest in a panic. He ruined everything. Akito’s going to be creeped out by him and want to move out and then Rui’s gonna be left all alone again—
“I meant as in someone you have actual feelings for, Rui,” Akito reclarifies. He pauses. “And someone who actually deserves you,” he mutters, sounding bitter.
Now that snaps Rui out of his panicking.
“I’m sorry, what?”
Did he hear that correctly?
“You know what I mean. Someone who’s likable and is good enough for you.”
No, he doesn’t know what Akito means. He narrows his eyes, feeling a heated emotion that he hasn’t felt in a long time starting to resurface. “Someone who’s good enough for me. And what exactly makes you think you’re not?”
A scoff. “You’re kidding right? Compared to me, you’re such a kind and amazing person. You dedicate your life to creating shows with the goal of making everyone smile. Meanwhile, I…I’m not like that. All I have going for me is music and even then I was the least interesting out of everyone in my group. I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m just a mediocre nobody. That’s why someone like me shouldn’t be with someone like yo—”
"How could you say such cruel, untrue things about yourself?!"
Rui is mad. Livid even. He's aware Akito doesn't have the highest self-esteem, but how can he say such terrible things about himself like that so easily? He won’t stand for this.
“I’m not sure where on earth you got the, quite frankly, stupid idea that you don’t deserve to be with me, but let me tell you something, Akito,” he says, his usual playful lilt gone.
Akito startles at his sudden tone change and the honorific droppage. Spurred on by his anger, he grabs Akito’s hands and stares straight into the now shocked olive eyes looking uncertainly back at him.
“Let me tell you something, Akito. Ever since you moved in, you’ve done so much for me even though you didn’t have to. This apartment used to be a place where I only got work done and slept. Now, it’s become a place I look forward to coming home to everyday. And the entire reason for that is you. You’re the reason why I look forward to coming home now.”
Akito gasps. But before he can get a word in, Rui barges on, keeping his momentum going. He’s gonna confess. It’s now or never, his fears of being left alone again be damned.
“That’s why I like you! You’re kind, caring, determined, hardworking—I could go on for hours! I’ve had a crush on you for months. I love spending time with you as a roommate and as a friend, but now, I want to spend time with you as your boyfriend. But, if you don’t feel the same way back, then we can pretend none of this ever happened and—”
“Of course, I feel the same way back!”
Rui's eyes widened in shock at the sudden outburst.
Akito...likes him back...!
“How could I ever not like someone as amazing as you back,“ he yells, blushing furiously. "I just— I don't know if I'm good enough for you..."
"Akito…of course you're good enough, no—you're better than good enough."
Akito somehow flushes an even brighter shade of red. He quickly turns away from Rui, embarrassed. "Uh, sure," he mumbles, going quiet. He takes a couple deep breaths to steady himself before speaking up again.
“I’ve liked you for a while now too, Rui,” he admits.
…!
Does this mean what he thinks it means?
“Then…does that mean…we’re dating now…?”
With the softest, most adorable expression he’s ever seen, Akito turns to him and looks him in the eye.
“Well…if you’re really okay with someone like me, then I’d like that.”
Akito deserves everything, and Rui’s gonna be the one to make sure he understands this, if it’s the last thing he ever does. For now, he’s just happy Akito likes him back.
He swears his heart is about to jump straight out of his chest and start soaring into the sky with how elated he feels right now. “Yes!”
Akito lets out a little yelp when Rui tackles him for a hug, landing on top of him and smushing him into the couch. He’s been wanting to do that for ages and now he finally can!
“Geez, don’t just suddenly jump at me like that!” Akito grumpily scolds him at first but shyly reciprocates the hug not long after.
Rui tightens his hold, nuzzling into Akito’s soft orange hair, with no intention of letting go. He feels as if he could stay here forever. Unfortunately for him, Akito doesn’t seem to share this view.
“So when are you planning on getting off of me? You’re heavy,” he deadpans.
“Never.”
“You…” he starts off but cuts himself off with a chuckle. “The couch is too small for the both of us to cuddle. We can continue on my bed if you want.”
Later that night, they both find themselves laying on Akito’s bed, already having changed into their nightwear. They cuddle, enjoying each other’s warmth. After a while, Rui hears soft snoring. Making sure to not disturb the sleeping Akito, he drags a blanket over to cover their bodies.
Finally…, Rui thinks to himself as he slowly falls asleep with his now boyfriend curled up in his arms.
bonus:
Ena: hey akito
Ena: come shopping with me this saturday
Ena: mizuki will be there too
Me: no im busy
Ena: hah?
Ena: with what?
Me: im going on a date with my boyfriend that day
Ena: eh?
Ena: WHAT
Ena: YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND???
Ena: SINCE WHEN
Ena: AKITO
Ena: EXPLAIN YOURSELF
Ena: ANSWER ME
Ena: COME BACK HERE OR I SWEAR TO GOD
Ena: thats it im coming over to your apartment
Me: STAY AWAY