Chapter Text
He knew they hated him.
It was not something that he would realize once in a while after a particular event, it was more of a constant thought.
He didn't blame anyone, though.
How could he? They weren't wrong.
When they said he was an asshole.
When they said he was unpredictable.
When they said he hurt those who he supposedly cared about.
When they said they missed the old him.
When they said they were tired of him.
They were always right.
He thought all of that too.
He never wanted that change, didn't ask for it, he would even say he was forced to do it. He didn't know then what else would change apart from his element.
He lost himself.
His old self died, burned to ash.
Every time he thought he finally made peace with who he was now, something would make him go back to the utter misery, self hatred and this awful sense of longing for something impossible to achieve.
Why the hell was he even there? On Earth?
They should have sent him back, not bother with trying to change him to something better, when he was obviously not going to be any good.
Now, all these expectations weighed him down even more.
Did anyone know what was happening in this head of his?
They couldn't have known, he always concealed everything under his blazing confidence, on and off stage, and this pure form of anger, now always with him.
He was always angry, and he was so angry because of that.
He hated himself now, and he hated that everyone thought the exact opposite.
He couldn't ask for help. No one would understand, he didn't deserve it.
He knew they hated him, and it was rightful.
So…
Why did Aether always throw his arm around his own narrow shoulders to send small reassuring impulses of magic into him, making him crook his lips slightly upwards?
Why did Mountain invite him to his plant-filled room, to cage him in his long arms and read to him until they both fell asleep?
Why did Swiss just stop talking once in a while to just sit with him smoking a joint or two in silence, just their tails intertwined?
Why did Rain always know when his usually foul mood was even worse, and took him into his nest to hold him and quietly sing until tears stained his cheeks?
Why did Cumulus brush her hand through his hair in a quiet proposition some evenings, to later brush and braid it softly and affectionately?
Why did Cirrus notice when his posture was just a tiny bit more slumped than usual and whispered a few words that always lead him to breaking into shards, to then put him back together, only something she could do?
Why did Sunshine ask him for help in something she absolutely didn't need help with, especially his, but he couldn't ever refuse her so they always ended up causing chaos together?
Who said he was an asshole?
Who said he was unpredictable?
Who said he hurt those who he supposedly cared about?
Who said they missed the old him?
Who said they were tired of him?
When you put it like that, it turns out the only person who hates Dewdrop, is Dewdrop.