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Caitlyn had been looking forward to Mother’s Day for the last several months, but she couldn’t help but worry about how the day would go. She was hoping that Janet would appreciate the food and the atmosphere but caught herself wondering if the flowers were a good enough present, or if her mother would expect a grander gesture. Or even if she upset her by not attending church, as she was still struggling with her own spirituality. She was also still rebuilding her relationship with Drew, who was in town for a long weekend. Would Janet understand that they were still working on things, even if they got along for the day?
She tried to refocus on driving, wiping one sweaty palm on her dress and holding the wheel with the other hand. The flowers were still perfectly placed on the passenger seat. She was on her way to meet Janet and Drew at the country club where Mother’s Day lunch was being held, as Drew had gone to church and was staying at Janet’s since Caitlyn didn’t have an extra bedroom for him. Although she was nervous, she also wanted everything to go perfectly so this was a day their mother wouldn’t forget.
Just as she had done a year ago when starting to reconcile with Janet, she pulled out her phone and called Ellie once she’d arrived at the country club. “I hope I’m not interrupting any time with your mom.” she said when Ellie answered.
“Well, unfortunately I got called into work because the ER is short staffed,” Ellie sighed. “But I don’t have to be there until 2, so I can take a few minutes. What’s up?”
“I don’t understand why I’m so worried about this lunch. I’m trying not to think about things going wrong, but this is the first time in years I’ve celebrated Mother’s Day. I was lying awake last night and hoping I’ve done enough to make up for all the years we missed.”
“Oh my gosh, honey, you’re being too hard on yourself. I feel like your mom is just so happy to have you all back together that any gifts and meals are going to come second today. Don’t think too much about any one thing. Think of how bad you all wanted this and all the progress you made. You’re not afraid anymore to see your mom and talk to her, and you guys share so much now. And look at how Christmas went; you were overjoyed even when you had to go to work. Are you still adjusting to having your brother around again? I know since he doesn’t live around here that you’ve had to work a little harder at that relationship.”
“Yeah, I guess. He was still in denial about our issues for a while, but Mom kind of went to town on him after my last depressive episode. I don’t know exactly what she said to him, but it must have been a wake-up call because he called me the day after and asked me how I was doing and was genuinely curious about what happened. He’s been making more of an effort to be understanding ever since. Leave it to her to chew him up and spit him out.”
“Sounds like she’s looking out for you. I say that’s worthy of celebration. Look, if nothing else, that would have never happened a year ago, for you to trust her so much when you were depressed. Think about stuff like that, put it in perspective…it demonstrates just how much she’s grown as a mom.”
Caitlyn smiled. “I think that’s all the wisdom I need from my best friend. I’m sorry you have to go to work.”
“Eh,” Ellie said. “It’s fine. My mom said she’ll be just as happy to celebrate once the crowds are lighter. She knows that work does whatever it wants sometimes. But hey, good luck, and your mom will be thrilled. I just know it.”
Caitlyn’s phone beeped again. Well… the text from Drew read. We’re waiting…
“Well, Drew just asked me where I was, so I have to go.” Caitlyn told her. “I’ll text you later and let you know how everything went if that’s OK.”
“Of course it is. Love you.”
“Back at ya.”
Catilyn headed inside and spotted Drew and Janet. “Hey Mom,” she said. “Happy Mother’s Day. These are for you.” She gave her the bouquet of daisies and a card in a pink envelope.
“Oh, thank you sweetie.” Janet gave her a hug. “Now, I told your brother this morning that I was going to try not to cry too early in the day, but the tears fell at church. So, since he’s a poor judge of this, just tell me if my makeup looks OK? I touched it up in the car.”
“It looks fine.” Caitlyn laughed and hugged Drew.
“Hey sis, about time.” Drew patted her on the back. “What were you doing out there, solving a Rubik’s cube? Demystifying the eighth wonder of the world?” Janet shot a glance in his direction and cleared her throat. “Come on Mom, I was just joking,” he shot back. “Cait won’t mind, I’m sure.”
“I don’t mind. And neither. I called Ellie because I’ve been a bit nervous for today. I’m so happy we’re celebrating Mom, but I just want everything to go well.”
“Everything’s fine,” Janet assured her. “We’re all here and spending time together, aren’t we? What more could I want?” They settled into their table, and a server appeared quickly, with Janet declining a mimosa and pouring herself water from the pitcher. Caitlyn and Drew each did the same.
“You know, if you guys want a mimosa or anything, go ahead,” Janet waved her hand. “I don’t expect you guys to change your preferences for me. I can deal with it.”
“Not today,” Drew replied. “Cait and I agreed to be in solidarity. It’s your day, after all.”
Janet looked away and picked up her napkin to cover up for the fact that her face was turning red. “OK, I guess it’s obvious I’m flattered, but I appreciate that. I know you guys are getting sick of me saying this, but I just love having us all together again and being a family. I’ve never been happier to sit among holiday celebration crowds.”
“I’ll never get sick of hearing that!” Caitlyn exclaimed. “I’m happy too. I can’t believe it’s been about a year since we started working on things again. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s really been the best year of my life. I’ve never doubted that I did the right thing.” She looked at Drew, awaiting his reaction.
“I’m still kind of adjusting to the new dynamic,” he said. “But I admit it’s been nice to reconnect with everyone. I have a lot of friends at school who kind of welcomed me into their families, but I’ve learned that nothing can beat your own family, even when times are tough.
“I was kind of wondering if we could try something, if you guys don’t mind. I know it’s not Thanksgiving, but I thought it would be nice if we each said something we’re thankful for in the last year. We’ve said being together again, talking more, that kind of thing, but why don’t we think about more specific victories?”
“I love that idea,” Janet replied. “But as your mother and the guest of honor, I vote we get our food first. I’m getting hungry. Let’s reconvene after the buffet. That way we have time to get food and think.”
When everyone had their lunch, Janet looked at Caitlyn and Drew expectantly. “Does anyone have their answers?” she asked.
“I’ll go.” Drew quickly swallowed his salad, and then began to share.
“So, I’m actually thankful to Mom for telling me about what happened to you, Cait. And I’m glad you were OK with her sharing that. It helped me realize I was being kind of an ass about your depression and hurting you by not wanting to talk about or understand it. And I was still doing the same thing with her recovery. If you both were all in, I knew I needed to be too. I ended up observing a men’s AA meeting when I was still at school and doing some more reading about depression, and it opened my eyes. I’m grateful too that I have so many resources to learn what you guys go through, and that you still love me even though I didn’t want to face reality at first. And I’m glad you guys are getting help when you need it.”
“Thank you,” Caitlyn said with a smile. “I was happy I heard from you even if I knew Mom had to nag you. It showed you took what she had to say seriously and that you didn’t just call because you felt forced to.
“I know this will sound weird since I hate this at times, but I’m glad that we have a doctor for a mom. Not because of her career status or salary but because with my depression, I know she’ll have the background to offer more than just platitudes. She knows the right questions to ask and assurances to give and she checks in about my treatment. I don’t want her to act like she’s at work during family time but when I do need the mental health help, I know she can handle it and she’s only a quick call away. I can really open up to her in a way I can’t around a friend without a medical background.”
“Your sister calls me Doctor Mom,” Janet told Drew. “Usually, she uses it in a way to indicate she doesn’t want my work persona to come out, but she can mean it in a flattering way too.”
They laughed, and Caitlyn looked up at Janet. “Come on Mom, your turn.”
“Well, it’s going to be hard for me not to repeat the things we already know,” Janet admitted. “But I’ll try. Let me just catch my breath.” She took a bite of mashed potatoes and a drink of water. “Sorry, I get nervous sometimes about sharing, even after 13 years of practice at AA.
“Anyway, I think what I’m happiest about is that my life feels less empty, in a way. It’s not so much that I never had anyone else to love but having you guys around again has helped me deal with bad days and negative feelings in a different light. I may still need to go to an extra meeting when those things happen, but I can also look forward to shopping with Caitlyn or talking with Drew about his internship. It’s also helped me be less uptight and closed off. I’m slowly making a couple more friends at work and coworkers have noticed the difference in my personality. So, I look at it as having more tools in my recovery box.”
“And we’re happy you’re still sober,” Caitlyn said. “I think we both realize that big life changes and stress could trigger a relapse and I’m grateful you find ways to get through them without drinking. As long as you take the program seriously like you have been, we’re behind you.”
Drew nodded. “Definitely.”
“But most importantly,” Janet continued. “I’m grateful to be honored today. I normally hate being the center of attention, but I appreciate both your guys’ work in making this day special and your excitement to spend time with me. In five years, I won’t remember what I ate for lunch today or what we were wearing, but I’ll definitely recall this as a moment when I felt truly blessed. I’ve always loved you guys no matter what, but now it feels so much more special to say that.”
“Well, we love you too.” Caitlyn replied, and she and Drew smiled at each other. “We hope you have a great day.”
“I’m already having one. Your gifts and lunch are just icing on the cake.”
Then, they each got up to hug Janet again, happy to be the family unit they’d been dreaming of for years.