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Nic slowly paddled through the water, making sure to take in the gentle waves and sunshine beaming down on her face. Jessie was sitting behind her in the canoe doing the same.
“I really miss you,” Jessie said all of a sudden. “I wish we could have had more time together once I got clean. I should have never been in that stupid drug trial. I just wanted to make some extra money and help others live a healthier life.”
“Don’t be sorry; you couldn’t have known. And I’m still proud of you for getting clean and sober.” Nic turned back to her sister briefly and smiled at her.
“I know what you mean, though,” she continued. “You would have loved seeing me and Conrad get married, and I know Gigi would be wild about you. She loves everybody. And Conrad adores being a father.”
“Are you going to have more?” Jessie asked.
“I don’t know. After the stabbing and the car accident…sorry, you don’t know about those things.”
“Of course I know, Nic. I’ve been watching you ever since I left this big bad world. I was with you the day you were talking to Mina on Zoom about how you were considering having another baby but were afraid of the possibility of another stressful pregnancy. But I totally agreed with her: you’re already a great mom, and you could love another child if you think you have room to do so.”
“Thanks for believing in me. I told Conrad I need more time to decide before we try anything. I can see it both ways since I talked to Mina and Kit, and then took some time to myself to reflect. The only person I haven’t talked about it with is Dad.”
“He loves being a grandfather, I bet.”
“Oh, that’s for sure. Between Dad and Marshall, Gigi is very spoiled. I wish her grandmothers were here, but her grandfathers have stepped up to help with childcare if Conrad and I need a break, and they love showering her with birthday and Christmas gifts too. Dad misses you, but Gigi has really given him a new lease on life. Sometimes he’ll even get her a present just because. I kind of wish he wouldn’t because I don’t want her to grow up spoiled,” Nic sighed and shook her head. “But at the same time, I know having a granddaughter brings him so much joy, so I don’t want to stop him.”
“He’s just grateful both of you are alive and well.”
They paddled a little longer and then started steering the canoe back to the dock. “Want to go around again?” Jessie asked.
“Yeah sure.” Nic replied, but then she winced. “Ouch. Sorry. Muscle spasm.”
“Are you OK? We can stop and rest for a little bit if you want.”
“No, I’m fine. We’re not doing anything that exhausting.” She started to row again but felt more tightness in her shoulder. “Actually, Jessie, I’m sorry. We’ve been out here for a while, so maybe I do need to rest.”
“OK cool. Let’s sit on the deck here and take it easy before I have to go.”
“You really have to?” Nic pulled herself on to the deck. “Sorry. I don’t know what I just did. I was fine before all this. Although, we did go hiking before we got the canoe. No more exercise today!” She laughed nervously.
“Not so fast. You have to work tomorrow. Better take a Tylenol and use a heating pad. Or just ask Conrad to rub your shoulders and feet.”
Nic closed her eyes and again took in the sunshine. “That’s actually a really good idea. Maybe I’ll lie down and close my eyes for a few minutes in the meantime…” She reached for Jessie’s hand but couldn’t feel anything.
“Jessie? You still there?”
“Mmm…ooh…” Nic’s eyes flew open to the familiar cramping of a contraction. She saw Conrad sleeping soundly next to her, and she reached for her phone to check the time: 5:35 a.m.
“Conrad…” She turned toward his side of the bed and gently shook him.
“What is it? Time for me to go to work already?”
“You should call off. I felt a contraction. Remember I had a couple last night, but they were too spaced out to go to the hospital? We may need to start tracking again and wake up Gigi and all of that.”
“OK. Relax. I’ll get the princess up if it comes to that. Although she only has a couple more hours to sleep anyway. Just keep it down in the meantime and start counting and we’ll see what happens.”
“Thanks. I’ll stay here for now, but I should move downstairs at some point. And can you make sure our bags are ready to go too? I think I covered everything on the list a few nights ago, but just double check.” She took a breath and quietly started counting down from ten. “Backwards helps me more than forward.”
“I was having the most wonderful dream too,” she added once the pain had passed. “Jessie and I were paddling a canoe on a lake. We talked about how nervous I was to have another baby and she told me how much she was present for that I never even realized. I miss her…I wish she were here to see Gigi grow up and could witness my pregnancies. I can only imagine what she’d say. I like to think she would have kept her life together and loved me and Gigi the way Dad does.”
“Oh, she would have been a cool aunt, no doubt. That includes being one of the first ones in our hospital room to meet her nieces, I’m sure.”
“For sure.” They each put a hand to her stomach, and Nic felt the baby move position. “I knew she’d been dropping, but it seems like she’s really ready to make her entrance now. I have an instinct that at this point, it’s not going to be 30 minutes before the next contraction.”
“My bet’s on five minutes.” Conrad joked. “Do I hear four?”
She rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m feeling adventurous. Let’s go for three.”
“The bet is three minutes!” He kept holding her hand “And listen…I think that dream sounds amazing, too. Jessie is always going to be with you. I know it’s hard for us to count on people after we’ve been hurt so many times, but try using her memory to get through today, no matter how long and hard you think labor is going to be. You can do this.”
“That’s exactly what I needed to hear. As long as you’re still up for the role of Lamaze coach, cheerleader, and of course…father.”
“Being a girl dad is what I do best.”
When the next contraction arrived, Nic doubled over and turned to Conrad. “How long was that?”
“We were both wrong. Six minutes. One minute left to go, and we’re at the magic number to get to Chastain. Current time is 5:43 a.m. Do you want to take bets on the length of labor?”
“After Gigi, anything less than 16 hours is fine. Really. I’ll go with 12 because I’m not feeling super optimistic, but if you are, you can pick a better number.”
“All right. I’ll take eight. I guess we should prepare to get this show on the road.”
She laughed again at his attempt to lighten the mood. “You do that. Once we’re down to five minutes apart, we’ll get Gigi and start making calls. Worst case, she can stay in the hospital room until it’s time for school.”
“Yeah. At this hour, Kit and/or Bell should be awake, so I know they can always babysit until then. Thank God they’re both early birds, huh? I was pretty happy when they said they could do early morning babysitting depending on when you went into labor.”
“Indeed. And no matter what, I know Jessie is right there with us. That dream came at just the right time.”
With that, she took another breath and waited for the next contraction.