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It's not your fault
That’s what words she’d left on the sign, before falling asleep. That’s what she’d said, what she’d told him several times in the past hour.
But it was.
It was Foolish’s fault- he’d let his own daughter get killed mere feet away from him, and he hadn’t been able to save her.
Thank god she still had a life left- but if he did something like that again…
He felt sick to his stomach, watching her sleep in the house made of dirt on his construction site.
Why had she chosen his place, this time? Why was she sleeping here on a floor just above the ocean when all night she’d been afraid of it and the creatures that lived in it? He didn’t understand.
This entire night- it had started off so well, he’d spent time with Vegetta and the others and yes he’d gotten a bit fucked up but he’d thought he was sober and clear-headed enough to at least do the bare minimum of keeping his kid alive .
But she was sleeping now, and she was safe here and he’d kill anyone who even came close to the tower tonight.
She was safe now. He would keep her safe.
He had to keep her safe.
Bad distracted him for long enough, but he and Dapper did have to sleep.
Really, Foolish should be asleep too. But he didn’t-
He didn’t deserve it
The thought crawled along his shoulders and spine and up into his brain, permeating every thought. Every block placed, every time he paused to catch his breath. He couldn't rest- he could hardly force himself to eat the food he needed but he did that anyway despite the nausea in his stomach.
He didn’t deserve any of this. He didn’t deserve anything good- not Leo, not Vegetta, not any bit of trust.
He’d failed . He’d looked away for a minute, maybe two, and now…. Now she was in so much more danger than before. He’d failed Vegetta- he’d failed Leo .
The anxiety and self-hatred crawled through his veins, his bones , and Foolish felt like his chest was tearing itself open.
He’d let her die- and then she apologized .
He was a terrible father - Bad had called him the Mariana of the relationship and it left a sour taste in Foolish’s throat when he protested it.
Foolish had always known that he wasn’t worthy of good things - but the past few weeks had made him reconsider.
Why would this family care about him so much if he wasn’t deserving of something ?
Look how well that had turned out for them.
Building halted- in the middle of a layer when Foolish found he couldn't get himself to walk a step further. He barely managed to get onto the dragon statue’s back before collapsing to his knees, hideous sobs finally pulling from his lungs after the terrible night.
Everything he touched was bound to break and die. Foolish had known that for a very, very long time. Even with past lives just blurs or faded memories - he’d known that as soon as he was brought into the train that took him here. He was broken, and he infected the world around him with darkness and pain and now the people he cared about had paid the price.
Again
Flashes of faces - he couldn't really remember the tale, but he remembered people and that was enough - and he crumpled in on himself, head hitting one of the massive spikes he’d built onto the dragon.
He always did this.
He brought death wherever he went, and she still thought it wasn’t his fault.
The sun rose, casting light over his body that still sat huddled on the dragon. Foolish hadn’t slept - how could he? He knew that soon Vegetta would be here to pick her up, and he’d see the cracks, and he’d know.
And he’d hate Foolish like he should have since the moment they met.
Foolish was cursed - hell, sometimes Foolish thought he was the curse. He’d stayed up all night, thinking through the rules of this world and this life and trying to find a way to fix what he’d broken.
But there was no fixing this.
There was no chaotic god he could suck up to, in this world. No grand statues or gifts or lives he could trade to get Leonarda hers back - he was stuck in the reality he’d allowed to happen.
Now, in the early hours of the day, Foolish pulled himself to his feet. He’d sit down by Leo’s tiny house, so he could tell Vegetta before he saw it himself when the other arrived. That, at least, Foolish could do.
Rather than floating or walking down, Foolish let himself drop the hundreds of feet into the water below. It wouldn’t hurt him - even if he wished it did. The water was cold, and he let himself sink down into it for a moment or two, wishing with all his heart that he could let it take him, drown him, bury him in some depth where he’d never respawn in this world again.
But he didn’t.
He pushed himself upward, pulling himself up onto the dirt scaffold he had around the base, out of the water. Leo was still asleep, bundled up in the blankets on her little bed. Foolish only let himself watch her for a moment - to see her breathing - before he looked away and caught his own reflection in the water below.
The breath did leave his lungs, then, and it felt as though the heart in his chest stopped beating.
Red
His eye- only one of them, was a bright scarlet. It had been such a long time since his eyes were anything but green. The black scales around it seemed to be a scar over his usually golden skin as if the curse was infecting even his physical body now, like it had eons ago.
“No,” Foolish pressed a hand over his mouth, finally able to breathe again but wishing that he wouldn’t.
No, no, no no no. This was wrong, this was all wrong.
But it wasn’t.
He knew that.
He knew he was cursed, broken, and infectious to everything pure and good and living in the world. As much as he loved to create and smile and laugh - the curse in his very soul would take that from him as many times as it wished, and he could do nothing to stop it.
And this time, unlike the last few, it was taking even his face.
“Foolish!” the cheerful voice of his husband broke through his panic - only for a new breed to burst forth.
Vegetta was going to see him like this- he’d know what Foolish was and he’d never want to speak to him again.
Of course, he wouldn’t. Foolish had let their daughter die.
“Foolish?” he landed with a thud on the dirt, paraglider tucked away. “What’s wrong, my love?”
With another person beside him - and the one part of his face already changed - Foolish could sense his blood rushing through veins, the heartbeat of someone he cared about picking up and he felt hungry for it.
No.
He wouldn’t hurt Vegetta- he couldn't let himself do that. The curse hadn’t gotten that far, not yet, his hands weren’t clawed yet and he wasn’t that far gone.
“Foolish, what-” Vegetta gasped, one hand on Foolish’s chin as he forced his head up, revealing the ugly darkness into the sun. “What happened ?”
“ I’m alright.” The lie was easy enough - he was a good liar, and it's not like Vegetta would even care, soon enough. “It's Leo.”
His voice didn’t sound like his own - flat, monotone. Vegetta’s eyebrows flew up, and Foolish could hear his pulse stutter with worry for their child.
“Leonarda?”
“I’m sorry.” Foolish let Vegetta push him aside, shoving open the door to her temporary room. “I’m so sorry , Vegetta.”
There was a beat of silence, and Foolish knew Vegetta had seen it, and he wondered how hard it would be to tear out his own throat and die right there on the spot.
“What happened?” Vegetta demanded, turning a burning purple gaze on him.
“I-” his cold tone broke, and Foolish wanted to sob. “There was a- a whale. I didn’t… I looked away.”
“A whale? ” Vegetta asked incredulously. “How? What- she had a totem.”
Two, including Foolish, but that was the problem, wasn’t it?
“It broke and then- and then it attacked her again and-” Foolish wanted to crumble to dust where he stood. “And I wasn’t there. I- I wasn’t fast enough. I’m so sorry. ”
“You weren’t there,” Vegetta repeated slowly, one hand falling to his side - to his sword.
“It’s my fault.” Foolish whispered.
“You have ten seconds,” the sword gleamed in the morning sun when he pulled it out and placed it between them. “To disappear to a place I’ll never be able to find you and kill you.”
Part of him wanted to stay put, let the sword pierce his heart as many times as it took for Vegetta to feel like it was enough.
But Leo wouldn’t want to see the blood or his corpse, and he didn’t want to hurt her any more than he already had.
So Foolish turned and fled, pushing himself beneath the waves to swim as far as possible before he had to break the surface and breathe again.
Veggetta hadn’t chased him - at least not fast enough that he’d caught up yet. Foolish pulled himself up onto the deserted beach he’d ended up next to, staring down at the tips of his fingers as they sharpened themselves, blackened scales taking over the gold and blue that usually covered him.
It was spreading.
He hadn’t even killed something else yet, and it was still spreading.
A stupid, selfish part of Foolish mourned the fact he hadn’t been able to say goodbye to Leonarda, before he left. But he’d let her die- he’d cursed her to that fate just by being around her and daring to love her.
He shouldn’t have let it get that far for either of them, Leo or Vegetta. He should never have let it become anything close to love.
But he’d been reckless and let himself love them, and they were the ones paying the price.