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Wedding planning is not easy. It’s the only thing Neil Perry has learned in the last few months. But lucky for him, he wasn’t doing it alone. Not only did he have his wonderful fiance by his side, but he had his friends, too.
Everything was starting to fall into place now that the wedding was… three days away.
Todd got overwhelmed easily, but he did his very best to be helpful. And he was, he honestly did too much in Neil's opinion. He often had to remind Todd to eat, drink and sleep. It really helped that the two of them worked well together that way.
With the happiest day of Neil's life only three days away, he really wasn’t thinking about his dad or his family. He didn’t invite them, and he didn’t think they even knew he was getting married to Todd.
But somehow… his dad found out.
Neil was home alone because Todd was still at work, and someone knocked on his door. So Neil went and answered it.
Right outside the door stood his father. Neil stared for a second and blinked in surprise before fear seeped into his skin.
“Dad-” he breathed, but before he got the chance to say anything else his dad was pushing past him into his apartment. “I- hey- Dad- what are you doing here?” he asked as he closed the front door and followed after his dad.
“I’m getting you out of here.” Mr. Perry said decisively.
“What? Why?” Neil was confused, and scared and didn’t know what to do.
His father turned on him, red in the face from anger. “Your mother and I haven’t heard from you in months- and now we find you you’re- you’re…” through his anger, Neil’s dad struggled to say what he was thinking.
“I’m getting married…” Neil offered.
“To a man!” his father snapped. “That’s unacceptable! We are taking you home. We never should have let you move out in the first place! Go pack your things!”
“I- no-” Neil shook his head and took a step back. “I’m not leaving- I’m getting married- I love him dad-”
“You don't have a choice Neil!” his father grabbed him by the shoulders and Neil flinched, turning his head with his eyes closed tight. Like he expected to be hit. “Now go pack your things!” He then shoved Neil down the hall toward the bedroom.
Neil stumbled and quickly ran into his room, he pulled out his phone and called Charlie. It rang a few times before Charlie picked up.
“Hey lover boy, what’s up?” Charlie’s voice came through.
But before Neil had the chance to say anything his dad pounded on his door. “No funny business! Open this door!”
Neil locked the door and leaned against it to keep it closed, putting a hand over his mouth as he tried not to cry.
“Neil?” Charlie asked, and all he heard was Neil's muffled whimpers as his father continued to hit his door and shout. “Hey, is that your dad?” he asked.
Neil nodded, then remembered Charlie couldn’t see him and squeaked out a “yes” into the phone.
“Hold on, I’m on my way- it’ll be okay,” Charlie said quickly.
Neil nodded again and sunk down to the floor with his back against the door.
“Neil! I’m not kidding! Open this door right now!” his father rattled the door knob.
“Go away!” Neil screamed at him, clutching his phone to his chest. “Go away!!!!” he dropped his phone into his lap and put his hands over his ears.
Neil spiraled into a panic attack, he didn’t remember getting up and moving over to his trash can, but he did remember throwing up. He didn’t remember his father threatening to break down the door, but he did remember his door being broken down.
His father stormed in and grabbed him by the back of his shirt.
“How dare you treat me like this!” he slapped Neil across the face. Neil remembered that- but he didn’t remember how many times his father hit him after that.
The next thing Neil was able to remember was the sirens from outside. Getting dropped to the floor. Lots of shouting. Neil curled into a ball and covered his head to protect himself. But the shouting people didn’t come after him.
The next thing Neil knew Charlie was by his side.
“Neil- Neil c’mon, talk to me-” he put his hands on Neil and pulled him into his chest. Neil quickly put his arms around Charlie and started sobbing. Neil barely remembered anything after that. Not until Todd got home.
It was an hour later when Todd walked through the door. One of the officers was still around making sure Neil would be ok.
“Neil!” Todd threw the door open, and when he saw Neil curled up on the couch with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders he ran right to his side. “Shit- Neil-” he quickly put his arms around his fiance and held him close.
Neil immediately started crying. He buried his face into Todd's shoulder and held onto him for dear life. The officer left soon after and Neil was able to get himself under control.
“What the hell happened?” Todd asked softly, looking between Knox, Charlie, and Neil.
Charlie sighed. “His dad found out about the wedding.” He explained. “And he showed up… and yeah…”
“Shit-” Todd pulled Neil a little closer as he sniffled.
“Mr. Perry is at the police station right now, getting processed for aggravated assault,” Knox said. “We’re pressing all the charges and filing a restraining order.”
“Good.” Todd nodded. “Let’s go get you cleaned up, baby…” Todd gently helped Neil stand up and brought him to the bathroom.
When Neil saw his bruised face he started crying again.
“What’s wrong?” Charlie came over to the bathroom.
“I dunno- Neil- what’s wrong?” Todd gently rubbed Neil's shoulders.
“I can’t get married like this!” he sobbed and covered his face. “Three days-” he gasped for air. “It won't go away in time!”
“Oh, man…” Charlie frowned deeply. Neil was right… and that sucked. “So you… wanna… postpone the wedding?” he asked tentatively.
Just the idea made Neil cry even harder. He’s waited this long to marry the love of his life, he wasn’t about to wait any longer.
Todd pulled him close and kissed the top of his head. “Hey, it’s ok, I think you’re always beautiful. No matter what.”
It took a while to get Neil to calm down, but they got him to bed and he passed out pretty quickly. Todd sat right by his side, gently running his fingers through his hair. Charlie stood by the door and Knox was at the end of the bed.
“So- do we postpone the wedding?” Charlie asked again.
“No, Charlie.” Knox rolled his eyes.
“Absolutely not.” Todd agreed.
“So what do we do?” Charlie asked.
“Get a really talented makeup artist.” Knox nodded. “Have you gotten in touch with Mr. Keating?” he looked over at Charlie.
Charlie grinned. “This morning,” he nodded.
Todd beamed. “Ok good- everything is gonna be just fine.” he nodded. “The wedding is the day after tomorrow, today was my last day of work till after the honeymoon. So I’ll just stay with Neil. you guys go home.”
“Are you sure?” Charlie frowned slightly.
“I’m sure. I’ve got this.” Todd nodded. “Don't worry,” he insisted.
“Alright.” Knox nodded. “You heard the man, let’s go.” he turned and nodded for Charlie to follow him out.
Todd got ready for bed once they were gone and got into bed next to Neil. he pulled him close and the two of them slept peacefully throughout the night.
When Todd woke up the next morning, Neil wasn’t in the bed. Todd looked around the room, a little worried. He got up and searched, finding Neil in the bathroom. He was sitting on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest and his head down, hiding in his arms.
“Neil?” Todd whispered and knelt down next to him. “Are you ok, love?” he asked gently.
Neil didn’t respond.
“C’mon, please talk to me.” Todd pleaded.
Neil sniffled and rubbed his eyes on his arm before turning his head to the side so he could look at Todd. “sorry… I- I don't know what’s wrong with me- we’re getting married and I’m fucking miserable- there’s gotta be something wrong with me- I’m sorry…” he said quickly, tears brimming in his eyes.
“Hey, no, no there's nothing wrong with you. You were just attacked yesterday!” Todd shook his head.
“It’s just-” Neil leaned his head back against the wall and looked up at the ceiling. “I thought I was over it- I thought the darkness would stay… back there… but now it- the- that… suffocating sadness is just back- and it’s so intense- it feels like it’s just here to stay- and I don't know what to do…”
“It’s ok, Neil. I’m here for you. We’ll do this together.” Todd nodded.
Neil looked over at him and smiled softly. “Thank you…” he whispered.
“Yeah, any time.” Todd smiled and scooted over to sit next to him.
“You’re an angel…” Neil said softly as he rested his head on Todd’s shoulder. Todd smiled and kissed the top of his head.
Time passed by pretty quickly after that. Neil had to take breaks every now and then to have a little cry or cuddle with Todd, but before they knew it it was the morning of their wedding.
Neil wasn’t allowed to see Todd till the ceremony. Neil didn’t like that at all- but his excitement started to feel like it was outweighing his depression once again and that made him happy.
He was getting ready to be married. And he couldn’t be happier. All his friends were running around like crazy getting everything ready. Neil wasn’t gonna wear much makeup originally, but then Knox came in with some professional makeup artist and he decided to maybe go a little extra… it was his wedding day after all.
By the time his makeup was done, you couldn’t see a single bruise and he almost cried from happiness. But he held it back so he didn’t ruin the fabulous look. He then hugged Knox till he couldn’t breathe, thanking him.
Neil was starting to feel a little nervous, and then he tried to imagine how Todd must be feeling…
“It’s ok, Todd, just breath…” Meeks patted his back with a small frown.
Todd pulled his face out of the small trashcan and groaned.
“Here.” Pitts offered him a little towel. “You’ll do fine, man. Stop freaking out.”
“Don't say that, it doesn’t help.” Meeks scolded.
“Sorry…” Pitts frowned.
“I’m fine- don't worry.” Todd sat back and whipped his face with the towel. “I hope Neil is doing ok…”
“I’m sure he’s fine, Knox and Charlie are taking care of him.” Pitts nodded.
Todd fiddled with the towel. “Maybe I should go check on him…” Todd pushed himself to stand up and Meeks pulled him back down.
“No, you know the rules. You can’t see him till the ceremony.” Meeks shook his head.
“I thought that was only for brides-” Todd said.
“Well, isn’t that what Neil is?” Pitts smirked.
“Neil is still a guy, just cuz he wanted to wear white doesn’t make him a girl.” Todd scowled slightly.
“Yeah, yeah, but still…” Pitts chuckled. “I mean, you do wear the pants.” he pointed out.
Todd blushed and looked down. “Whatever…”
“Why don't we go get you something to drink.” Meeks patted his shoulder.
“Yeah, liquid courage.” Pitts nodded.
Meeks gave him a ‘wtf’ look and shook his head. “Water.”
“Right…” Pitts flushed slightly and smiled. The two of them helped Todd up and they got him some water and helped him go over his vows some more.
Then guests started showing up.
“Oh my gosh- people are showing up.” Neil put a hand to his mouth as he passed. He was in his white suit, the coattails a little longer and more resembling a skirt in the back than actual coattails. And he looked amazing.
“Yeah, it’s almost time, how are you feeling?” Knox asked, grabbing his shoulders in order to hold him in place.
Neil offered him a nervous smile. “Fine- I feel fine-” he nodded.
“Take some deep breaths.” Knox encouraged.
Neil took a few deep breaths and looked around. “Where’s Charlie?” he asked. He really wanted Charlie.
“He’s outside, he’s waiting for someone,” Knox said.
“Who?” Neil frowned slightly.
“It’s a surprise.” Knox grinned. “Trust me, Charlie will be back before it starts, I promise.” he nodded.
Neil nodded, but he still fidgeted with his hands nervously. It was impossible to be calm at a time like this. Neil watched the clock and felt like time was moving both too fast and too slow at the same time.
Before he knew it, he was being handed a bouquet of flowers and being put in place to go walk down the aisle, Charlie and Knox were supposed to go first, but Charlie wasn’t back yet-
“Hey- I’m back.” Charlie put a hand on Neil's shoulder.
“Where were you- it’s about to start.” Neil looked a little hurt, but Charlie just grinned and stepped to the side.
Mr Keating walked in behind him and when he saw Neil he teared up slightly. He smiled and walked right over to him, putting his arms around him in a hug.
Neil was startled at first but quickly hugged him back.
“Captain- what are you doing here?” he pulled back.
“I’m here to walk you down the aisle.” he beamed down at Neil.
Neil felt himself tear up and he lightly hit his old teacher. “Don't make me cry- I look amazing-” he fanned his eyes and looked up.
“C’mon, it’s time.” Knox tugged on Charlie’s sleeve and Charlie quickly linked arms with Knox, the two of them heading out before Neil.
Keating looked down at Neil and smiled. “I’m so proud of you Neil,” he whispered.
Neil teared up again and smiled up at him. “Thank you- for everything- for being here-”
“Shh- it’s time.” Keating smiled and winked, then led Neil out.
Todd was glowing, standing up at the front with Meeks and Pitts by his side as he watched Knox and Charlie walk down the aisle. The beautiful music being played by another one of their friends.
But the second he laid his eyes on Neil, he forgot how to breathe. Neil was beaming with Keating on his arm, his eyes sparkled with glitter and he had the prettiest veil attached to his head, reaching down to the back of his shoulders.
Maybe Pitts had a point about Neil being a bride…
Todd felt a tear fall down his face and he quickly whipped it away. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Keating brought Neil up to the front and then stood a little to the side.
The ceremony was officially in progress and Todd reached out and held Neil's hand as the man began to speak.
He was only half listening- but then he heard him say they had written their own vows, and Todd was to read his first.
Todd nodded and fumbled a bit as he pulled the paper out of his pocket and unfolded it. He cleared his throat and then smiled at Neil.
“Neil-” he paused and had to swallow and get himself under control. “Neil, I love you. And I’ve been in love with you since we first became roommates back at school. Neither of us had the guts to say anything about it until we graduated… and even then- it was still you who had to do the asking. But I’m so glad you did. Knowing you has taught me so much, I’ve learned Confidence, I’ve gained a greater appreciation for acting, actors, and the stars. I gaze at them every time we meet eyes. I wrestled with the idea of writing a poem for my vows… but the poetry I write for you is just for you. It’s not meant to be read for an audience.”
Neil reached out and gave Todd’s hand a small squeeze. His eyes were watering as he listened to Todd speak.
“But that doesn’t mean I can’t be poetic…” Todd smirked. “Through you, I’ve gained a better sense of humor, and because of Charlie I’ve learned patients.”
Neil couldn’t help but laugh softly at that. The room of people chuckled softly and Charlie rolled his eyes.
“But most of all, I’ve learned a lot about love. Self-love. And true love. And what we have is true love. I’m so in love with you it can’t be explained in words, numbers, or even music. What I feel for you is beyond this world. And if I had never dated you, I never would have learned the confidence to ask you to marry me. But even so, I am so happy you said yes. I love you, Neil.”
Neil beamed and Todd shoved the paper away into his pocket.
It was Neil's turn.
“Todd- I don't have a paper… I memorized mine cuz I’m an actor.” the room chuckled again. “But the love I feel for you? It’s not acting. It’s real. More real than anything I’ve ever known. Being on the stage used to be the only thing that made me feel alive- but then I met you. I’ve been in love with you for so long, it’s like I can barely remember a time I wasn’t in love with you. But our love keeps me going. I’m still breathing because of our love. I would live for you, Todd Anderson.”
Neil felt a little bad that his vows were only half as long as Todd's, but Todd was already crying.
Finally, the two of them said their I do’s and kissed in front of all their loved ones.
People clapped and cheered. And everyone was filtered into the yard behind the building for the reception. Everyone was talking loudly, congratulating them, and giving hugs and kisses. Gifts were piled onto a table and out in the parking lot Todd’s car was being covered in shaving cream.
They cut the cake while they both struggled to hold the knife over each other's hands and Neil shoved frosting all over Todd’s face. Then Neil took a taste off of his lips before they both laughed and got cleaned up.
The party went on for a while, but as sunset came along it was time for the first dance.
Todd took Neil's hand as the paved area of the yard was cleared for their first dance. Neil was grinning like an idiot. Todd was smiling softly, blushing brightly. He brought Neil to the center of the floor and put his hands on Neil's hips as he pulled him close. Neil put his arms around Todd’s neck as their wedding song started to play.
Hello reaper
Have we met?
Still, so many things I haven’t said
Hello darkness
Here again
Last I saw you I was tangled in my head
Hello sadness
Are you here to stay?
Right when things were finally going my way
Neil thought about the day before when Todd found him crying in the bathroom and how they sat there together for an hour, just enjoying that they were both next to each other.
I met this angel
He taught me to fly
He showed me all the colors of the sky
So please don't take him away but if you do
I’m just skin and bones I know that there’s room
Todd pulled him a little closer as they swayed back and forth on the dance floor. He thought about when they were still in school when Neil attempted suicide- it was the worst day of his life, thinking that he would lose Neil before he got the chance to love him.
When the man in black
Come to cash his check
And your holding on
To your final breath
When you walk out the doors
Know that I will too
I hope they build coffins for two
Neil never wants to be alive without Todd. just the idea is enough to bring sorrow to his chest. But he looked up at Todd and he was immediately met with a kiss. His worry melts away and he’s brought back to living right here at this moment.
When I was younger
I used to pray
That my life was more than the sum of my mistakes
And now you here
Dressed in white
Guess you heard my voice on all those lonely nights.
Todd thought about when he first shared a poem with Neil. In the dark of their room, both sitting on their own beds. It was a poem about Neil. But he didn’t tell him that. Not yet. Neil had prayed it was about him though.
Now we’re older
But you look brand new
Every day I’m falling more in love with you
When your tired
And your eyes close
You won’t have to take your final walk alone
So if forever comes too soon
I’m only skin and bones I know that there’s room
Neil rested his head against Todd’s chest and tucked his face into his neck. He couldn’t imagine himself being happier.
When the man in black
Come to cash his check
And your holding on
To your final breath
When you walk out the doors
Know that I will too
I hope they build coffins for two
Todd dipped his head just slightly so he could press a kiss to his temple, then whisper in his ear. “I’m never leaving you.”