Chapter Text
Natasha,
Let me start this email by formally asking, WHAT THE HELL?
I'm going to need clarification. Coulson?! Our Coulson is a ghost in your house, with a scepter in his chest. The same one we recovered?
What happens if it’s moved from the basement? Can I borrow Ghost Coulson? I mean, I guess I couldn’t see him because I didn’t die.
I hate to put it this way, I still can’t believe it, but at least you’ve met your mother now.
What’s it like ‘living’ with the in-laws?
All of these ghost visions just started after the cliff on the planet we won’t mention? After you got electrocuted at this, Romanov estate?
I never pictured you the type to elope let alone move out to frickin nowhere. I’ll have to take Laura and the kids out to the BnB.
I’ve got to take Nate to swim. Write as soon as the wifi comes back on.
-Clint
“Who is this ‘Clint’?!”
Natasha looks up from her laptop, the ghost of Rebecca Banner in her beige dress with ratted hair at the back of her head frowning fiercely.
“He’s a friend,” she answers with a frog in her throat.
“A good friend!” Coulson chimes in, Loki’s scepter still caught in his chest.
“The guy’s off the rails. I never should’ve accepted his ghostly roommate offer,’ Tony leans over, ‘how come Barton didn’t ask about me?!”
“Conceited, asshole,” Gamora flings her ghostly knives into the scrappy wall, spinning back through invisibly.
“Oh please,’ Frigga steps in closer, ‘Natasha is emailing and you didn’t tell us?! How else are we supposed to entertain ourselves?”
“Uh,’ Tony points to himself, ‘my very half-existence should be entertaining enough?”
“Bruce?” Natasha cracks her knuckles, calling for the lone living figure currently in the abandoned castle in need of work, “Is there any way I can convince you to move that, helmet of Tony’s to the shed?”
“Hey!”
“Sorry, Nat,’ Bruce pokes his head in through the large door, ‘I can’t do that.”
“Thank you, man!” Tony gestures, inching closer to Natasha, “I have a message for the dork. Tell him-.”
“I don’t have the capacity for science jargon right now!” Natasha holds her face.
“Tony?” Bruce questions.
“Yep. No! He’s not here. I repeat, I don’t have the bandwidth for intermediating science jargon right now. Sorry. Tomorrow, I promise.”
“Hi Nat! What’d we miss?” A dark haired brunette twirls her hair and snaps her gum, Natasha has come to know is the aunt of Bruce Banner.
“Oh my god,’ Natasha holds her head, ‘go away!”
Bruce lingers, mouth contorted in confusion, “Ghost thing?”
She nods, “Ghost thing.”
“Hi Mrs. Romanov.”
“She’s not here.”
“Loki?”
“Nope,’ she shivers, eyes dilated, ‘huh…is that a butterfly? I suddenly feel high.”
Bruce rolls his eyes, “Hi, Aunt Susan. Wherever you are.”
“She’s here,’ Natasha wrinkles her nose, ‘Right here. Real close, smelling like weed. Hugging me…”