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Izuku’s hand shook as he held his phone up to his ear. This was probably the scariest thing he’d ever do. The line rang once, then twice, before it clicked and he heard his mom’s voice.
“Hi, sweetheart!” Izuku gulped and took a shaky breath.
“Hey, mama.” Izuku could hear the tremble in his voice. “I, uh, need to talk to you about something. Is now okay?”
“Of course, honey. Is everything okay?” Izuku started pacing the length of his dorm room.
“I need to tell you something about me. And I’ve thought about this for a really long time, so I know it’s not just a ‘phase’ or whatever. I’ve known for sure since last year, and I wanted to tell you because graduation’s coming up.” Izuku took a breath. “Mama, I’m trans.”
The line was silent for a minute. Izuku felt his hands shaking, his stomach curling in fear.
“Um, I’m not sure what that is. Is that like being a lesbian?”
Despite himself, Izuku let out a soft little laugh. “No, mom. It means that I’m a boy.”
“Oh. Well, okay.”
“O-okay?”
“Yes, sweetie. I love you and support you no matter what!” Izuku sniffled, a smile on his face.
“Thanks, mama. I, uh, want to tell you my new name, too.”
“Oh?”
“It’s Izuku.”
“Oh, that’s nice, dear.” Slowly, Izuku felt as if a stone was being removed from his chest. Had he been worried for nothing.
They started talking about other things - their plan for graduation, his move from the dorms. Izuku felt…almost comfortable. There was some small part of him still tense, still waiting for the other shoe to drop. He almost couldn’t believe it.
Then his mother called him by his old name. In an instant, he felt his stomach sink.
“Uh, mama? Do you think you could try calling me Izuku? I know it might be a bit of an adjustment.” His mother sighed. She sounded annoyed.
“Alright, Izuku.” He didn’t like how she just said his name. She said it in such a condescending way, as if she was humoring a small child’s fantasy. She said it like it was an inconvenience for her to try. Izuku felt something like fear and shame curl in the recesses of his gut. Still, he knew how this had to go.
“Thanks, mama.”
“I’ll probably just keep on calling you-” She said his old name. “It is the name I chose for you, after all.” Izuku didn’t know what to say. But he was too scared to talk back. Something fragile cracked in him. He pulled the phone away from his face to sniffle as he felt tears pricking at his eyes. His lip trembled as he fought to keep his voice as level as possible.
“Sorry, mama, but I need to go. Iida just called everyone down to dinner and if I don’t show up, he will drag me down.” His mother laughed as if she hadn’t just broken his heart.
“Alright, sweetheart. I love you so much! I’ll talk to you soon. And remember, you’ll always be my little girl.”
He could barely choke out a ‘bye’ before hanging up and chucking the phone at his bed. Everything felt like too much. Izuku let out a sob. His breaths started coming faster and faster, wheezing with every heave. He couldn’t get enough air into his lungs. He gnawed on his fingers as he paced around the room.
Some part of him knew that it was coming, knew that her acceptance was too good to be true. So why did it still feel so much like betrayal?
He sank down onto his knees. Guilt, shame, and anger roiled in his stomach. His hands came up to cradle his head. They trembled and tugged on his curls. He let out a sniff and a keening sob.
Izuku didn’t go down to eat dinner.
After Izuku cried himself out and uncurled from his fetal position, Izuku shuffled to his closet and changed as quickly as he could. He sniffled again as he laid down in bed, pulling the weighted blanket up over his body. The light waned and faded as night rolled over the dorms.
A bright light flashed near his stomach. Izuku languidly looked down, feeling along the sheets until his fingers met the warm surface of his phone. He squinted as his eyes were blinded by his phone screen.
A few dozen texts from his classmates begged for his attention. Apparently, Izuku had been missed during dinner. He was too drained to answer any of their text. But there was an urge to call someone, a yawning loneliness eating away at the emotions in his stomach. Izuku fumbled his phone as he unlocked it and scrolled through his contacts list. The line rang twice before someone picked up. Through the speakers of the phone, Izuku could hear the loud, rowdy voices of his classmates. Kirishima and Kaminari's voices were the most distinct.
"Izuku?" Izuku sniffled and tried to keep a brave voice, but he felt the tears coming once again.
"Hey, Kacchan. Um, sorry to bother you when you're hanging out with your friends." Katsuki's voice became quieter and muffled as - Izuku assumed - he barked something at his friends. The sound of fabric rustling came through the phone and the background din died down.
"What do you need, nerd?" Suddenly, Izuku felt silly. He should be able to handle this on his own. What kind of pro hero would he be if he couldn't handle having a hard conversation?
"A conversation? Did someone say some shit to you?" Oops. "Yeah, oops, shitnugget. Now are you gonna tell me what happened or am I gonna have to beat it out of you?" Izuku's lip wobbled.
"I, uh, came out? To my mom?" Izuku heard Katsuki let out a mumbled 'holy shit'. "I, um, I just- would you mind coming to my room for a bit?"
"Shit, nerd. Course. Gimme a second to grab something. I'll be up in a sec. Your dumbass better be decent when I get up there." Katsuki sounded almost winded as he spoke. Izuku laughed a little and agreed before hanging up.
After a few minutes of mindlessly fiddling with his phone, Izuku’s door banged open. Katsuki stood in the doorway with a bag hanging off of his fingers. Izuku sat up, feeling a little silly. All of this drama for something he’d seen coming. His fingers twisted together, knotting in the hem of his shirt.
Katsuki’s arm dropped and he strode forward, closing the door behind him. The bag dangling from his fingers cut gently through the air as it swung with the movement of his arm. The bag rustled as Katsuki dropped it on the bed. He heard the contents shift. Izuku looked up as Katsuki sat down on his bed.
“I’m sorry, Izuku,” Katsuki said. Izuku felt his heart clench at the use of his given name. It felt intimate, somehow. Katsuki placed a hand on his, the heat from his palms sinking down into his bones. “I know you were scared about telling Auntie.” Izuku’s lip trembled at the reminder of what happened. Katsuki looked up and his eyes widened.
Izuku felt himself being pulled into the circle of Katsuki’s arms. He melted into the sensation, sagging down into the embrace. He buried his head into the junction of Katsuki’s shoulder and neck. He felt tears bubble up and he let out a choked sob.
“Let it out, sweetheart,” Katsuki whispered in his ear. Izuku let out a loud sob and broke down. He blubbered against the skin of Katsuki’s neck while explaining the story of what happened. Katsuki said nothing as he spoke, only rubbing his hand up and down Izuku’s back. They rocked back and forth as Isuku’s sobs dwindled into sniffles. Eventually, Izuku was all sobbed out.
Katsuki leaned back. The blonde’s arm was still draped over his back, so Izuku leaned forward with him as well. They righted themselves and Izuku felt a whoosh of air before something soft and heavy descended over his shoulders. Kastuki tipped them both backwards, letting out a small ‘oof’ when Izuku’s full weight landed on him.
Katsuki’s heart pounded next to his ear, a soothing and grounding rhythm. Izuku closed his eyes and nuzzled into the warmth under him. Katsuki’s hand resumed its journey across the expanse of his back. The broad chest under Izuku’s head rumbled as Katsuki spoke.
“I’m not good at this reassuring shit. But you deserve the effort. You are an amazing guy, Izuku. If Auntie can’t see that, then she’s blind as fuck. Anyone would be lucky to know you as you are.” Izuku sniffled and buried his head into Katsuki’s chest.
“Thank you, Kacchan,” he mumbled. Izuku felt rumbling in Katsuki’s chest as the blonde laughed. His laughs fell away as he let out a breath. When he spoke once more, his voice was low and serious.
“Don’t thank me for that, nerd.” The blonde hesitated. “Look. My old hag may have fucked up in a lot of places, but she knew that people know who they are, and she taught me that. You know who you are, Izuku, even if other people don’t.” Izuku felt himself tearing up for a completely different reason. He propped himself up on Katsuki’s chest, giving him a wobbly smile.
“Thank you for seeing me, Kacchan.” Katsuki gave him a soft smile.
“Course, Sunshine.” Izuku flopped back down.
“Y’know,” Katsuki said, “My mom always thought we’d get together.” Izuku flushed.
“She did?”
“Yeah. Probably a big disappointment for her when I came out last month.” Izuku looked up. Katsuki had come out to his mom? “Went fine. Don’t stress about it, nerd.”
“I’m proud of you, Kacchan.” Izuku’s smile was evident in his voice. Izuku expected some kind of reaction, like Katsuki bragging about how he was number one. Instead, he frowned.
“You’re…not mad?”
“Why would I be mad, Kacchan?”
“I didn’t tell you. You trusted me with your coming out but I haven’t reciprocated.”
“Oh, Kacchan.” Izuku’s heart ached. There was something so fearful in his expression, as if Katsuki was waiting for the other shoe to drop. “I’d never be mad about that. It’s your choice who you come out to and when. I’d never want you to do that without feeling comfortable about it.”
“...Thanks, nerd.” Katsuki looked away. Izuku watched as his lip twisted. It was an expression that he’d seen many times on his own face, but never on Katsuki’s.
“Kacchan? Are you okay?” He asked. Katsuki wouldn’t quite meet his eyes. He flushed, pink rising to his cheeks.
“I- I want to get this off my chest, Izu.” Izuku blinked, sitting up. Katsuki followed him. Their limbs tangled together and Izuku ended up sitting on Katsuki’s lap, their hands tangled together. Izuku felt himself flush at the position. Katsuki’s thumb dragged across the ridges of his knuckles. His eyes were locked on their hands, the tips of his ears pink.
“I really like you, Izuku. Maybe even love. You’ve always been the one that made my life make sense. But…I didn’t feel like I had the right to put this on you. That’s…that’s why I didn’t tell you.” Izuku’s eyes widened. Katsuki squeezed his hand.
“I’m not asking you to accept me, or putting any kind of pressure on you. I just wanted you to know. I’m not gonna cross any boundaries, but I’ll always be in your corner.” Izuku put a hand under the other’s chin. Katsuki shivered at the touch.
“Kacchan, thank you for telling me. Now that I know, I have a question for you.” Katsuki flinched but nodded.
“Can I kiss you?” Katsuki looked up at him. His eyes held disbelief and an anxious type of hope.
“Are you serious?” Despite the energy bubbling in his chest, Izuku let out a little laugh.
“Kacchan, I’ve been in love with you since I was four.” Katsuki blinked, astounded. Then, he let out a barking laugh and scooped Izuku into his arms. Izuku let out his own laugh and burrowed his head into Katsuki’s shoulder. He looked up into Katsuki’s face.
Katsuki’s eyes were wide and a blush decorated his face. Izuku felt his own cheeks heat up.
“So, can I?” Instead of answering, Katsuki leaned in. Their lips met. Izuku’s eyes fluttered shut. He felt the smooth skin of Katsuki’s lips press against his cracked ones.
Warmth built in his chest and spread throughout his body. Izuku brought his hands up and cupped Katsuki’s cheek. They pulled away from each other, twin smiles on their faces. Izuku’s thumb brushed against his cheek.
“I’ll always see you, Izuku.” They hugged once again before Katsuki had to leave to continue his tutoring session with his idiots. Izuku watched him leave with bubbling happiness making his whole self warm.
His phone chimed. Izuku looked down to see a text from his mother. It used his old name. The familiar ache was back. It was tempered, though, by the warmth that Katsuki made him feel. He sighed and threw his phone on the bed before following Katsuki downstairs.
He wanted to spend some time with the people who loved him for who he truly was.