Work Text:
Kuroo checks his watch as he lets himself in. Kenma’s stream should be wrapping up in a few minutes. He slides on his house slippers, puts the apple pie on the counter and a bag of bentos in the refrigerator, then heads to his room to change.
By the time he’s hung up his work clothes and changed into sweats, the stream is over and as he walks past, Kenma is bidding the last of his subscribers farewell.
“Kuro, is that you?”
“Yep, got home early and picked up a few things for you on the way.”
“Ooh, what did you bring me?” Kenma shuffles in, wireless headset still on. Kuroo taps his head and Kenma realizes he’s still wearing it, disappears into his office, and returns gadget-free.
“Thanks, you know I’d get a headache if I kept that on much longer. Anyway, what’s for dinner?”
“I got bentos from that place you like and snagged the last apple pie as the bakery was about to close - it was even marked down because it was so late.”
Kenma’s eyes gleam when he sees the pie and reaches for it, but Kuroo moves it out of the way and Kenma pouts.
“Dinner first, then pie.” He shows Kenma the bentos and Kenma points at one, which Kuroo puts in the microwave to reheat. Kenma starts rummaging through the drawer for two sets of chopsticks.
“What are you doing home so early? I thought it was your night to go out with your boss and the team.”
“It was, but she got a call and had to leave early, then some of the others tried to drag me to a goukon and I bailed. You know how I hate those things.”
Kenma looks up. “I didn’t know that, actually. Why is that?”
“Not really my scene at all. I just get tired of being ‘on’ all the time, it’s so unnatural. It takes me a while to get comfortable with people. Plus it’s so aggressively heterosexual.”
The microwave dings and Kuroo pulls out Kenma’s bento, wincing as his fingers touch the hot container.
“Ow ow ow!”
Kenma rolls his eyes fondly. “The potholders are right there, Kuro.”
Kuroo reaches into the fridge and pulls out two bottles of beer. “I don’t have someone to kiss it better, but now I’ve gotten us beer and soothed my fingers, so it’s a win-win.”
I’d gladly kiss it better, Kenma thinks to himself before taking a beer from Kuroo and opening it with the bottle opener mounted on the side of the fridge. He hands the open beer back and takes the other bottle to open for himself.
At least I can drown my sorrows in beer and pie, he thinks as he starts eating his bento.
“I’m having lunch with Keiji tomorrow,” he says as they finish the last slice of pie.
“Nice,” Kuroo says. “Say hi to him for me. That reminds me, I owe a call to Bokuto.”
Kenma moodily swirls the last of his miso soup before raising the bowl to his lips and swallowing it. He puts the bowl down and sighs.
“Keiji, what am I going to do? He keeps talking about goukons and girls hitting on him at the office. He’s never accepted any confessions so far, but I feel like it’s a disaster waiting to happen.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to just confess to him?” Akaashi asks, resting his chin in his hand and watching Kenma intently.
“To be honest, I’m a little afraid to.”
Akaashi looks at him skeptically. “Really? You’re so fearless when you game or when you do those vlogging challenges.”
Kenma huffs. “That’s different, somehow. It’s a game, and I like to win games. I can practice to win games. This is Kuro. If I lose him somehow….well, I don’t know what I’d do.”
“I’ve watched you two together since high school, I know he cares for you and as more than just a friend, but I know that it’s hard to confess.” Akaashi taps his fingers against his cheek, lost in thought.
“What if we could gamify it for you somehow?”
Kenma looks at him, confused. “What do you mean?”
“When was the last time you went on a date?”
Kenma thinks for a long moment, then shrugs. “Sometime in college, maybe? Why?”
“Well, you’re always hearing about Kuroo’s dating attempts, but he doesn’t hear anything about yours. What if you were the one in danger of being swept up and taken away from him? Do you think that would spur him to confess to you?”
Kenma’s eyes light up. “Keiji, you’re a genius. But how can we make it happen?”
Akaashi nods. “Leave that to me.”
The video that started the Dating Challenge trend was from Sendai, coincidentally from one of their old friends from Karasuno. Sugawara Koushi, elementary teacher with a vlogging channel on the side, went on three dates, two chosen by his fans and one of his choice. Coincidentally, he’d also had a longtime crush on a friend and teammate from high school, Sawamura Daichi, and their first official date went spectacularly well and there had already been a followup video about them moving in together.
Kuroo had texted Daichi congratulations after watching the video with Kenma and they were making plans to meet up in Tokyo at the next content creator meetup.
Next were two other Karasuno teammates, Tsukishima Kei and Yamaguchi Tadashi. Tsukishima’s channel was all about science and what it was like to work in a museum. Yamaguchi’s channel was a mix of inspirational content and funny cooking mishaps. They went on dates with other people and chose each other as the third date. Now Tsukishima was a very sarcastic guest star on Yamaguchi’s cooking videos and Yamaguchi followed Tsukishima around the museums and asked questions about the exhibits.
Kuroo was thrilled that his disciple, as he called Tsukishima, had finally found love and texted Tsukishima so much relationship advice that Tsukishima had temporarily blocked him until Kenma texted him and promised to get Kuroo to stop.
“You’re not even in a relationship, why on earth did you do that, Kuro?”
“I was happy for him and I wanted to make sure he didn’t mess up.”
Oikawa Tooru was the one who challenged Kenma to do the Dating Challenge. He had been dating Iwaizumi Hajime for years, so he wasn’t going to try dating anyone else - Iwaizumi had proposed recently and Oikawa had immediately and joyfully accepted and now his channel was full of videos on how to plan a same-sex wedding in Japan.
“I, Oikawa Tooru, challenge (he pauses dramatically, then points at a picture of Kenma) Kodzuken to do the Dating Challenge. Why Kodzuken? I’m so glad you asked. First, he’s a gaming streamer and he spends far too much time in front of a screen. Second, he has millions of subscribers, one of whom no doubt knows someone who would be perfect for Kodzuken. Third, if Kodzuken does the challenge and if he does not find love, I, Oikawa Tooru, will personally intervene to help him out. What say you, Kodzuken? Tune in later this week for the answer, and don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe! Bye-bye!
Yahabae
Ooh, a challenge!
Volleyhearts
The great king challenges Kodzuken! (animated gif of a deer eating popcorn)
GreatKingFan
Talk about worlds colliding! How do they even know each other?
Kenma makes a short video in response, titled “Challenge accepted.”
Kodzuneko
This should be interesting!
GamesOnly
Ugh, I’m here for gaming, not dating
CuriousCat
Who would date Kodzuken?
Number1fan
Who wouldn’t? He’s smart, handsome, talented...I could go on all day!
Kodzuneko
(arrow pointing up) Is this another one of his friend’s sockpuppets? Mods?
Akaashi sits down in the booth at the cafe where Kenma is playing a game on his phone. He looks up long enough to nod at him and misses a jump, ending the round. He flips his phone so it’s facing down on the table.
“Good afternoon, Kenma. Are you ready to go on some dates?”
“How did you arrange that, Akaashi?”
Akaashi looks at him with a perfectly blank, innocent expression.
“What makes you think I had anything to do with that?”
Kenma snorts. “C’mon Keiji, don’t insult me.”
Akaashi shrugs. “Koutarou knows Iwaizumi from volleyball. He was happy to suggest it to Oikawa-san.”
“I think it’ll work. Now I just have to find two guys to go out with.”
“You’re smart, you’ll figure it out.”
Surprisingly, Hinata has the answer to his problem. Hinata’s in Brazil, but they video chat regularly. Today, Hinata’s been playing beach volleyball and is taking a break. It looks hot and humid (Kenma shudders, remembering just how hot it had been when he visited Hinata that time to do a video with Kuroo), but Hinata appears unaffected.
“A matchmaker? How do you know a matchmaker, Shouyou?”
“It’s Kageyama’s sister! She’s really nice, plus she’s also a hairdresser and you could get your hair done - I know you hate doing it yourself.”
“Kuro usually helps me, but it would be interesting to see how a professional would do it.”
“I’m sending you her contact info right now - tell her I said hi!”
Miwa is remarkably unfazed with having a camera set up and filming in her salon. Kenma sits in a salon chair with a plastic cape hiding most of his body, his blond hair looking even lighter against the dark cape.
She runs a comb through Kenma’s hair and examines the strands intently. “For using box dye, your hair’s in remarkable shape, Kenma-kun.”
“Actually, I’ve been using professional bleach formulations since I was in college. My friend Kuro’s gotten pretty good at it.”
“He does a very good job, I don’t want to mess with his routine. I’m just going to put a deep conditioner on it, and then trim the ends, if that’s okay with you?”
“Sure.”
She applies a deep conditioning treatment, wraps his hair up under a plastic cap, and offers him a drink. Kenma rearranges the cape so it’s less voluminous and segues to the other reason for his visit.
“Tell me, Miwa-san, how did you get into the matchmaking business?”
“Well, it’s not my real job, it’s more of a side hustle, my main job is a hairstylist, as you can see,” she gestures around at the salon, which has a fair number of volleyball action photos interspersed with glamor shots of hairstyles, “but as a hairdresser, people talk to me and tell me their stories. I started setting people up and it worked out well, so I added it to my website and started charging for it.”
“That’s very clever of you. As an entrepreneur, I love hearing about success stories.”
“Tobio and Shoyou-kun told me about the challenge.”
“And you’re willing to take me on as a client?”
“Sure. I just have a few questions.” She opens a new note in her phone and types swiftly.
“Ok, I’m just making an entry with your name and a couple of details about you. Can you tell me what kind of person you would be interested in?”
Kenma’s been thinking about this and he has an answer ready. “Taller than me, a little bit older than me, similar interests.”
“What sort of similar interests?”
“Volleyball, video games, that sort of thing.”
She types quickly, then looks thoughtful. “I have a couple of ideas. Do you want to talk about them or just have me set up a date?”
“Surprise me.”
She gets a gleam in her eye that makes it clear that she’s Tobio’s sister, then she smiles.
“Oh, I’ll definitely surprise you.”
They make a plan - she’ll set up a date, and Kenma will meet her back at the salon after each date so they can talk about it.
“Now let’s wash your hair.”
That night, he and Kuroo make dinner together. Kuroo’s doing most of the work, Kenma’s sitting at the table, chopping up carrots and potatoes for the curry, while Kuroo makes the katsudon.
“Did you do something to your hair, Kenma? It looks shinier than usual.”
“I went to see Kageyama’s sister today - she’s a hairstylist and also a matchmaker, she’ll be helping with the challenge. She trimmed my hair and did some sort of deep conditioning thing on it.”
Kuroo suddenly looks glum. Kenma wants to cheer him up. “She didn’t want to do anything more than condition it, because you do such a good job with my hair,” Kuroo puffs his chest out with pride.
“I got a new game bundle today - want to play through some of the games with me?”
“Sure, just let me finish loading the dishwasher.”
Kuroo sits on the couch, Kenma sits on the floor next to him. Kenma wishes he could sit between his legs or on his lap, but contents himself with leaning against Kuroo’s leg and wrapping an arm around his ankle so he can still use the controller.
Kuroo doesn’t seem to mind the contact, at least. After they finish the first game, he runs his hand through Kenma’s hair, lifting up a strand and watching the light hit it. Kenma leans into the touch, closing his eyes and humming in contentment.
“I only trust you to dye my hair, you know,”
“But Miwa’s a professional! She’s been doing it for years.”
“Nobody does it like you, and she really did say that you do a good job.” He pauses; Kuroo is gently scratching his head, almost as if he were a cat. “Remember how you insisted on helping me with my hair back in high school?”
“I remember - it’s a miracle we didn’t burn all your hair off.”
“Like I said, I trust you. It’s just chemistry, and you’re good at that.”
Several days later, as Kenma finishes his stock trading for the day, his phone chirps with a message from Miwa:
Kenma-kun, your first date is set for Saturday afternoon. Meet him at 2 pm at the coffee place with the blue awning in Shibuya. Also it may be short, he’s on a deadline.
Kenma responds, Intriguing. I’ll be there on Saturday.
That day, he goes to the cafe and waits on the sidewalk, scanning the crowd for likely candidates. Shortly before 2, a man approaches him. .
“Kozume-san? Miwa-san sent me.”
“Call me Kenma.” He looks closer at the man and frowns. “Wait, aren’t you Akaashi’s mangaka?”
He smiles ruefully. “I’d say that he’s my editor, but we all know who the boss really is. And yes, I am Udai Tenma.”
“Hmm. Interesting. Shall we go in?
As Udai holds the door for him, Kenma looks down and notices that Udai is wearing combat boots that make him several inches taller than Kenma. Udai catches his look and shrugs.
“Miwa-san said you liked tall guys. I figured it couldn’t hurt.”
After each date, they decide to meet in person to review how it went and offer feedback. Kenma had briefly considered filming the dates, but decided against it, and Miwa agreed.
“How did it go, Kenma-kun?”
“In a city of almost 14 million people, I was not expecting to be matched with someone I know.”
Miwa smiles and shrugs. “It’s a big city, but sometimes it’s a small town, what can I say?”
“Can you tell me why you chose him for me, Miwa-san?”
“So, he doesn’t tick all of your boxes,” she gestures with her hand across the top of Kenma’s head, “but you do have a lot in common: you keep similar schedules, you’re both creatives, you both played volleyball. I have two questions for you. First, did you have fun?”
“Yes, actually I did.”
“Second, would you go out with him again?”
“Not on a date, but I’m glad I got to know him better.”
When he gets home, Kuroo is just putting the finishing touches on dinner. Kenma sniffs the air appreciatively as he changes into his house slippers. “Something smells good, Kuro.”
“So, how was your date?” Kenma’s not imagining that there’s a note of stress in Kuroo’s voice, is he?
“It was ok, we had a nice conversation, but nothing romantic.”
He hears Kuroo mutter “Good.”
“What?”
Just then the rice cooker starts playing its tune. When it finishes, Kuroo says, “Dinner’s ready!”
“Who’s next, Miwa-san?”
“Well, he’s tall, for real,” she grins at Kenma, “he used to play volleyball, like you, he’s very quiet and soft-spoken, he’s an entrepreneur. Next Saturday at the same cafe, same time.”
If he weren’t in love with Kuroo, he might actually be attracted to Asahi. He can certainly appreciate his physique. Tall, just a little shorter than Kuro, long hair, glasses, and with long hair in a bun and a bit of a goatee. He’s dressed all in black, with a long coat and a bright red scarf that looks soft and cozy.
“Azumane-san, right?”
“Yes. You can call me Asahi, I don’t mind. The fashion industry, at least my shop, is very informal.”
Once inside the cafe with drinks and a plate of pastries, the conversation flows freely. “I’ve seen some of your work, you’re very talented.”
Asahi blushes. “I do what I can. I’ve been very lucky, really. I couldn’t have done it without my partner, Nishinoya Yuu.”
“I thought you were single?”
“Oh! He’s my business partner, but I’d be lost without him. He helps organize my atelier, but even more important, he’s my best friend and number one enthusiast.”
Kenma nods and takes another bite of his pastry. “Tell me about the sweater you’re wearing. It looks really good on you.”
Asahi blushes, even his ears turning pink.
“Th-thanks,” he stammers. “It’s a sample of one of my recent designs. It’s not as good as it could be, but –”
“What does Nishinoya think?”
“He likes it a lot, in fact he told me to wear it any time I needed to feel confident.”
“Tell me about the plans for your business.”
Asahi’s eyes brighten and he launches into an expanded version of his elevator pitch. Kenma listens intently, makes a few notes on the placemat
“And how much would that all cost?”
Asahi names a figure that is pocket change to Kenma.
“What could you do with twice that amount?”
“That’s easy, increase production, hire someone to build an e-commerce website, and contract with a fulfillment house to do direct sales, work on getting into stores, that sort of thing.” He sighs. “It’s just a blue sky idea at this point. Where would I find someone to invest?”
Kenma looks at him. “Me. I’m in a position to start making some angel investments from my stock trading profits and I think this could be a good test case.”
“Really?”
“Yes, but I have two conditions.”
“Go on?“
“First, you have to go tell your Nishinoya how you feel.”
Asahi inhales sharply, then sighs gustily. “Fine. I’ll do it. What’s your second condition?”
Kenma leans in and Asahi listens intently. “Yes, I can do that.” He pulls out a notebook and starts sketching, then shows Kenma. “Like that?” Kenma nods.
An hour later, they leave the cafe. Asahi is talking animatedly and Kenma is listening intently.
“We’ll touch base next week to finalize the agreement.”
“And I’ll send you a few things I think you’ll like. Thank you again, I’m so excited!”
“Don’t forget to do the most important thing, though.”
Asahi looks momentarily apprehensive, then nods decisively. “I’m going to see him right now. Thank you for giving me the courage to do it….and good luck with your last date.”
“Another no?” Miwa says sympathetically.
Kenma nods. “But it’s okay - you saw the pictures, right?”
“How could I miss them?” Asahi has posted pictures of him with Nishinoya, hugging and kissing, smiling and crying tears of joy. “If they could bottle that happiness, nobody would ever need anti-depressants.”
When Kuroo gets home, there’s a package with his name on it. He looks at it in confusion; there’s no return address and he doesn’t remember ordering anything. “Kenma? Do you know anything about this package?”
Kenma looks up from his laptop and gestures at him to open the box. Kuroo grabs a pair of scissors from a drawer and carefully slits all the tape and opens the box, revealing a layer of tissue, then unwraps it and oohs as he runs his hands over the fabric. “This is the most luxurious hoodie I’ve ever seen. What's it made of?”
“I’m not sure, I told Asahi-san what I wanted and he picked it out for me. Try it on.”
It fits him perfectly, zips up easily, Kenma makes a circle with a finger, he turns around, Kenma nods approvingly. “Now you can’t complain about me wearing your other hoodies.”
Kodzuken’s Dating Challenge, parts 1 and 2, are smash hits. Miwa’s salon is also inundated with new clients, not only for haircuts, but also for matchmaking and advice. There were even some who came just on the off chance they might get a date with Kodzuken.
Miwa fears that this client might be one of them.
“Please, take off your jacket and have a seat.”
He sits down and she examines his hair carefully.
“Your hair’s in great shape, I’m not sure there’s anything I can do for you.”
“I could use a trim, and also your advice. It’s about a friend of mine - we’ve known each other since childhood, and I’m in love with him, but I don’t know if I should confess, or how to do it.”
She pulls out her phone and opens a new note. “Go on,”
When he finishes talking, she smiles. “It’s a crazy plan, but it just might work.”
“Hey Kuro, I wanted to ask you something.’
Kuroo turns and looks at him. One of the things Kenma loves about him is that he always gives his full attention to whatever he’s doing. He smiles fondly at him and Kenma’s stomach twists at the thought of losing that, but he’s going to do this.
“What is it, kitten?”
Just as Kenma’s about to speak, Kuroo’s phone rings. He ignores it until it stops, then it starts up again. He flips it over in annoyance, and grimaces when he sees who it is.
“Sorry, this is some sort of work blowup, just a sec.” He answers the call and moves to the other room to talk. Just then, Kenma’s phone rings - it’s Miwa. He tucks in an earbud and heads to his office.
“Kenma-kun, I have your third date set up.”
“But Miwa-san, I told you I was going to ask Kuro on a date.”
“When I met this man, I knew he was the one for you. Trust me, Kenma.”
Something in her voice convinces Kenma.
“Ugh, fine, but if this doesn’t work, I’m asking out Kuro anyway, I don’t really care about this stupid dating challenge anyway.”
“Ok, you’re meeting him for dinner tomorrow night at Labyrinth.”
Kenma frowns. “Kuro wanted to go to that restaurant - I was going to surprise him.”
When Kenma comes out of his office, the house is empty. His phone pings with a message from Kuroo.
I’m so sorry, I have to go take care of a work emergency. What were you going to ask me?
It’s not important, it can wait.
Kuroo sends a thumbs-up emoji.
Kenma doesn’t see Kuroo the next morning and he’s oddly disappointed.
He tries to text Kuroo in the afternoon, no response. Finally gets a “sorry, my phone died and I was in a meeting and I have to work late. Have fun on your date!”
Something’s up, Kuroo is much too calm about this.
He arrives at the restaurant, gives his name and is shown to a private room. He sees a pair of shoes lined up next to the door. Huh, Kuro has a pair like those. Interesting. He takes his shoes off and puts on the slippers that the attendant offers him, then slides the door open. Kuroo is sitting there, looking attentively at the menu; when he hears the door open, he looks up and smiles. “Hi Kenma,”
Kenma freezes in shock. Is this some kind of joke? His mind goes blank and his first instinct is to leave. As he starts to slide the door closed, Kuroo jumps up and sticks his foot in the door so he can’t close it. “Ow! Please stay, come sit down.” Kenma reluctantly does, Kuroo limps back to his seat and pours two glasses of champagne for them. Kenma reluctantly takes a sip. Normally he doesn’t like champagne, but this is actually good.
“I guess that means you didn’t get my video?”
“What video?”
“I made a video for you and everything,” Kuroo looks down at his phone and frowns. “Ugh, the internet at work went down and I guess it didn’t go through. Well, I’ll just say it again.” He sits up straight and takes a deep breath.
“I broke the rules of the game. I was so nervous when you were out on those dates, so I went to see Miwa. I told her that I’ve been in love with you for years,” Kenma’s face must show his surprise, “which is true, by the way, and I didn’t want to take the chance of losing you, so we came up with this.”
Kenma smiles ruefully. “The only reason I did the challenge was to make you jealous. I was afraid to confess, despite what Keiji said.”
“Bokuto told me the same thing. I guess they’ll be happy to not hear that anymore!”
Dinner is magical, though they don’t really taste it. They’re too busy holding hands and smiling goofily at each other. At one point, Kenma slides off his slipper and runs his socked foot along Kuroo’s leg, making him blush and look away bashfully. Kenma is fascinated - this is a whole new side of Kuroo that he gets to explore.
They head home hand in hand. Kenma looks down at their joined hands and smiles at the difference between them, then shivers at the thought of Kuroo putting those hands on him.
“Cold, kitten?” Kuroo says, smiling. “Want my jacket?”
“No, I was thinking about you touching me.”
Kuroo stops suddenly and looks at Kenma. His pupils are blown and he’s staring at Kenma’s lips.
They both start walking faster.
Once they get to the front door, Kuroo stops and takes both of Kenma’s hands in his. “Invite me in?”
“Kuro, you literally live here.”
“Right, I almost forgot.”
“And I don’t ever want you to leave.” Kenma pulls Kuroo closer to him and kisses him. It’s soft and gentle for a moment, and then Kenma tilts his head to deepen the kiss. Kuroo gasps, fumbles at the lock and pulls them inside, shutting the door firmly behind them.
Kodzuken Dating Challenge, Part 3: Boyfriend Reveal
“…and that’s how the world famous Kodzuken and I got together,” Kuroo says with a smile. He’s sitting in Kenma’s gaming chair and Kenma is sitting on his lap, a small grin on his face.
“Ugh, you’re so embarrassing, I take it all back,” he says, scrunching his nose and trying to pull his hoodie, Kuroo’s actually, to cover his head.
NinjaShouyou
Congrats Kenma! I’m so happy for you both!
Hunky Officer Daichi
I honestly thought you two had been together for years already
Also, who changed my screen name? How do I fix this??? Koushi???
EditorKJi
Finally!
NormalAce
Give him a kiss from me, bro
Number1Fan
Sure thing, Bo!
Kodzuken himself
Ew, no.