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Night had fallen upon the land, the trees and leaves kissed by the deep blue of the sky. The shadows on the ground were lovely, lovely shade, and a dim orange glow radiated off the campfire. Gil Favor relaxed back into the ground, hands clasped behind his head, in his hair. He looked around him to find that his trail hands were all asleep.
Gil couldn't sleep. It had been a hard day, so long, and now he could rest. His blood still ran hot and his mind ran with thoughts of the work, but he was still relaxing back into his bedroll.
Gil looked around again, blinking like he was missing something. He soon realized that he was. Where in the world had Rowdy gone to?
Gil was immediately worried. Where has he run off to in the night? Oh no, that boy with his hot temper, where had he gone?
Gil quietly got up and looked around, standing at his full height. No Rowdy. There was Pete, Mushy.. no Rowdy.
Gil walked around and tried to find him. He was nowhere in sight. All Gil heard was the rustling of the leaves on the trees, the cattle, the grass, the.. the sound of a man. The sound of quiet sobbing, a man crying. Gil walked towards it. It was coming from behind a tree, quite close to the river. It got louder the more he came closer, sad and choked.
Gil peeked around the tree. There he was. Rowdy was sitting there, his knees pulled up to his chest, crying. Gil blinked to confirm what he was seeing, shuffled a little closer. Rowdy seemed to notice the noise and turned his head, and his face turned hopeless.
"Mister Favor.." he said in a small voice, choked with tears.
"Rowdy." Gil responded with a nod, crouching down, his eyes gentle.
Rowdy's eyes got defensive, and he sniffled, trying to hide his eyes, hanging his head. "I'm okay, you can go back to sleep."
Gil sat down next to him, pressing his back to the tree trunk. "I ain't tired."
A little bit of anger flashed in Rowdy's eyes. "Listen, I'm just tryin to set n' think. Ain't.. ain't that okay?"
"Tell me what you're thinkin about." Gil half turned towards Rowdy, using his arm as a cushion against the tree.
More anger, a tear of frustration. "I ain't no child. You don't need to make me talk about me talk about my feelings like I'm a kid."
"Talkin about yer feelings ain't childish." Gil patiently murmured, shuffling closer to Rowdy. "What's wrong?"
"Mister Favor, I take orders about drivin the herd." Rowdy angrily whispered, looking away.
"Rowdy, this ain't an order." Gil tried to look him in the eye, and Rowdy looked away. "You wanna talk about it?"
Rowdy sniffled. He paused for a moment, then wordlessly nodded. Gil let him take his time, just sat quietly and patiently, watching the water go by. Rowdy sniffled a couple more times, and Gil could practically feel his eyes flitting back and forth between the river and him.
"It's just.. mister Favor, I just.. I just dunno. I.. everybody's got girls back home. Erry'bodys got families to go back to. Mothers, fathers.. som'un. I.. I ain't got no home. And I ain't never really had 'un. And.. and people dunno what to do with me, cause I'm young and I don't like being pushed. And.. I feel like I gotta sorta defend myself, I ain't never been defended by anyone.. and if I don't do it, then, well.." Rowdy threw up his arms and stuffed, trying to find words. "M' just so tired.."
Gil didn't say anything. He just shuffled closer, and he touched his right hand to Rowdy's shoulder, questioning. Rowdy didn't move away, so Gil worked his whole arm around Rowdy's shoulders, got a little closer and pressed their shoulders together.
"There. You happy? You happy I talked?" Rowdy sneered, squirming under his hold, looking away.
"I dunno. Did it help any?" Gil softly mumbled, turning his head.
"You talkin about help.. you're the trail boss. You ain't got no troubles." Rowdy got out of his hold and squirmed away.
"You're wrong there." Gil chuckled.
Rowdy sneered at him and turned to face him, the tear stains still in his eyes. "Well maybe you'd like to even the score then!"
Gil nodded. "Sure."
Rowdy shuffled back over to the tree trunk, hesitantly leaned against it without getting too close to Gil.
Gil tried to be as genuine as possible. It was only fair. "Bein trailboss sorta makes you feel like the loneliest man in the world. Some o' your men don't wanna talk to you, they're scared. Some o' your men treat you like you're the reason fer every lil' mistake.. so does the law. You gotta worry about every little thing, gotta be rough, gotta worry about whether you're bein too rough, gotta fret about what you say later, gotta.. gotta stay awake at night worryin bout the day, where the next river's gonna be.. aw, hell."
Gil realized that he had gotten lost in his venting, that he had a breath choked up in his throat. He didn't know what to do, now.
Rowdy looked at his boss, who was looking away and trying to breathe. He didn't know what came over him, but Rowdy pushed himself forward and wrapped his arms around him. Gil blinked, and he looked down to see what he was feeling. Rowdy's arms were around him, his body pressed into his chest. Gil wrapped his arms around Rowdy in return, took what he could and held him close.
Rowdy was still crying, and he was hiding it in Gil's chest. Gil allowed his head to drop in Rowdy's hair.
After a little while, Rowdy had a thought. He smiled, giggled a little. Gil pulled back from his hair an inch or two.
"What's so funny?"
"Just.. never realized how lonesome.. well.." Rowdy abruptly stopped, words muffled, and he snuggled into Gil's chest. "Forget it."
Gil knew what he meant. He had to admit that this was nice, too. Really, really nice.
Gil pushed Rowdy gently back into the ground, and Rowdy allowed Gil to climb on top of him. He shuffled upwards so he wasn't being suffocated, and his face was so close to Gils, so close he could feel his hot breath on his face.
"It's okay to be lonesome, Rowdy." Gil murmured, smiling at him a little uncertainly. Rowdy didn't respond, staring and trying to scrutinize every inch of his eyes. Gil's soft words brought him back to the fact that Rowdy was pinned under him, warm and comfortable.
"Rowdy? You got a girl back home?" Gil quietly questioned, trying not to look him in the eye when he asked.
"No." Rowdy quietly muttered, shaking his head, brushing his hair into Gil's head.
"It gets lonesome." He stated, forcing himself to look into Rowdy's eyes. Rowdy nodded, subconsciously glancing down at Gil's mouth.
Gil cautiously moved forward and gently pressed his lips to Rowdy's mouth, expecting the boy to gut him. But Rowdy returned the kiss, then clasped his hands around Gil's neck and kissed him again. The two men held eachother and kissed, Rowdy stroking his hands over Gil's back.
Gil finally felt that incessant buzzing of worry fade away into tiredness, into warm contented sleepiness as he kissed Rowdy, held him.
When they pulled away, Gil looked into Rowdy's sleepy, misty eyes.
"Thank you." Rowdy murmured, smiling.
"For what?" Gil murmured back, smiling.
For being there, for not judging him, for comforting him, for not laughing at him, for..
"Thank you. Just.. thank you."
"Okay." Gil smiled, nodding. "Hey, are you sure I'm not.. crushin you?" Gil remarked, a little incredulous.
"I like it." Rowdy replied, squeezing Gil a little tighter.
And they laid like that for a while, Rowdy stroking up Gil's shoulders and his hair resting on Gil's shoulder. They were slowly drifting off, cuddling by the riverside.
"Rowdy?" Gil asked, half awake.
"Mmm?"
"Thank you, too."
"Mmm."