Work Text:
Kaveh was in the study while Alhaitham was in the living room, everything seemed about normal when Kaveh suddenly heard a knock on the study room's door.
"Ugh does he need this room already!? I swear to the archons he does this just to piss me off!" Kaveh thought to himself before waiting for a second knock. The second time letting him know that Alhaitham didn't accidentally walk into a wall or something.
He knocked for the second time and Kaveh let him in, "what do you want this time? A book or do you want to kick me out again!?"
"Kaveh, it's time."
"Time for what? What the hell are you talking about?" He turned to face Alhaitham who had a strange expression on his face, Kaveh couldn't quite pinpoint what emotion it was expressing.
Alhaitham coughed into his fist, looking the other way.
Kaveh shook his head, "I don't know what you want, Alhaitham. Like I actually have no idea can you please just say it out loud."
Alhaitham didn't say anything and the answer conveniently popped into his head.
"Oh! Wait what time is it I-" he scrambled to grab the clock beside his desk, almost dropping it a total of 3 times, "Oh shit I've been working for so long, I apologize."
"It's fine. Just don't do it again, that's all," he then walked out of the room without a single goodbye.
Kaveh cleaned up the workspace and ran to the dining table where Alhaitham sat, "so, any reason in particular you wanted me to sit with you tonight?" Kaveh asked.
Alhaitham stared at him as a response.
"...are you gonna speak in words or not?"
"Sorry."
"You? Apologizing!? Okay Alhaitham you're going to have to tell me what's up because I don't know what the hell is going on."
"I… felt really tired today so I took the beer from your fridge and I…" He shook his head, "I think it's having a negative reaction on my subconscious…"
"Oh my archons are you… are you serious."
"Sadly I am. I'm sorry for worrying you about this."
"I-if you're really Alhaitham and not an evil clone sent to eat my flesh tell me something that only the real Alhaitham would know!"
"What does this have to do with anything."
"Answer the question!"
"You snore really loudly… and have a habit of kicking me in your sleep…"
"Ah- whatever! Are you sure you're not just Layla wearing an Alhaitham suit!?"
"Layla doesn't make quippy remarks about you kicking me in the face."
Kaveh rolled his eyes, "whatever! Just uhm…"
"You seem to have absolutely no ideas what so ever so you are making noises to mask that."
"Don't read my actions like a robot! Not even Mehrak does that!"
"Now you're getting defensive."
"... are you just saying your thoughts out loud."
"Am I?"
"I don't know, maybe you should think about that."
And then he did that. For multiple minutes, actually.
"Alhaitham can you stop saying everything out loud!? Sometimes I just wanna hear silence and I know you do too!"
Alhaitham thought, in his head this time, "holy shit Kaveh looks so squishy… like an anemo slime… squishy squishy squi-'' He then grabbed Kaveh's cheeks like an impulsive child.
"Wh- HUH!?!? What the hell do you think you're doing!? H-how drunk are you!? How much did you drink!? Tell me now!"
Alhaitham let go specifically to think, "how much was in the fridge again?"
"Oh my archons you're an idiot! How did you not think any of this through!? Wait seriously what the hell is wrong with you."
"I told you already I was tired."
"And I'm tired of you everyday yet you don't see me drinking all the booze in the fridge!"
"Mhm, whatever," he looked away.
"I don't!!"
"Why is my brain telling me to hug you if I'm so annoyed by your presence at the moment… My brain still perplexes me to this day…"
"Wh-" Kaveh quickly shuts up, maybe wanting Alhaitham to say more internal thoughts like that, "do you think he regularly thinks things like that but doesn't let it out? No way! He's way too heartless to even think about hugging me! It's not like I want the hug anyways… hugs always make me uncomfortable…"
"You've been staring anxiously for a while."
"Stop saying your thoughts out loud!"
"I want you in my mouth."
"WHAT THE HELL!?"
"I bet you'd be chewy…"
Kaveh shook his head, "he's just drunk, he has no idea what he's saying…"
"You're just denying the enviable."
"Wh-"
"That you'd taste really good in my mouth."
"ARE YOU SERIOUS!?"
Alhaitham stared blankly at him.
"I have no idea what the hell to do with you…" He shook his head before he heard a knock on the door and got up to answer it.
"Game night," Cyno answered in monotone.
"Did you forget what day it was?" Tighnari quipped as he, Cyno as well as Collei entered Alhaitham's estate.
"Guys I don't think this is a good idea…" Kaveh chuckled awkwardly as he tried to round them back up to no avail.
"And why is that?" Tighnari's ear twitched.
He whispered the reason in Tighnari's ear and he just chuckled.
"Honestly I'm interested in what kind of drunk he is now. Mind if I do some research?" He asked like a fake ass bitch.
Kaveh growled in annoyance but agreed to his terms, "fine just… don't do anything weird with him…"
"Hah, you're so protective of him aren't you?"
"It's only because of how he is right now! He's saying everything that comes to his stupid mind!"
"We'll see about that," he chuckled as they all walked into the living room and put the games that Cyno had been carrying on the table in front of them.
Cyno put them down and immediately looked up at Alhaitham across from him, "youuu are not looking so hot. What's up."
Alhaitham just stared at what Cyno assumed was him, he looked like he was watching something beside him though…
"Uhm, never mind then. Tighnari," he bounced back up, "wanna play TCG with me?"
Tighnari rolled his eyes, "okay okay, at this point I should've expected it," he took his pack from his pocket and started playing with Cyno.
While they were playing Collei seemed to be watching.
Kaveh looked around for anyone (sane) to talk to, and Collei wasn't talking to anyone, "Hey, Collei."
Her head whipped around to face him, "Oh hi. Uhm, do you need something?"
"Uh, not really, just getting bored. But I guess you can't really ever get bored with you guys around! Ahaha… I have no idea what I'm talking about."
Collei raised an eyebrow, "what."
"Never mind. Sorry for being awkward."
"Kaveh, I am awkward," her hands pointed to her chest, "you're anxious."
Kaveh clearly did not expect the emotional digging, "Uh, you just wouldn't get it…"
"Master Tighnari told me that Alhaitham is drunk as hell. His words, not mine."
"You get it."
Collei chuckled a bit, "that's what you're worried about? Just talk to him, you big dumbo!"
Kaveh put a hand on his forehead, shaking his head, "I'm just afraid he'll say something stupid around you, or worse, he'll try to eat me!" He threw his hands up in the air.
"Wha-"
"I am sadly completely and utterly serious. I swear to the gods earlier he was telling me about h-" and right on moment Alhaitham had taken his hand from the air and bitten his finger.
"OW!- WHAT THE HELL!?" He immediately grabbed his hand from the biter and shook it until it felt better, "I DIDN'T MEAN THAT LITERALLY!"
All Collei could do is stare at this very strange occurrence.
"You're not squishy…" Alhaitham pouted and rested his head on the senior's shoulder.
"OF COURSE I'M NOT SQUISHY!!! I'm a human with bones!!"
"No gummy…" He pouted sadly.
Kaveh stared at Collei for help, and she stared back, unable to.
Collei tried to warn Kaveh of what was about to happen next, but it was too late, Alhaitham had tried to bite his cheek.
"Ow- Alhaitham- stop trying to bite me! Didn't you learn that lesson in, I don't know, first grade!?"
Then Alhaitham face planted Kaveh, yes his whole ass face, with his whole ass hand. Kaveh was forced to lean back and peel Alhaitham's hand off of him.
"Alhaitham! Please stop doing everything your brain tells you to!!"
"Okay mom ." He gets up and leaves, leaving Kaveh sitting there absolutely flabbergasted.
He turned his head to Collei, who was just as shocked, even more surprised that neither of the TCGers had noticed.
"Master Tighnari," Collei called out.
Tighnari looked up at her, "hm, what is it Collei?"
"I wanna go home."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
She stood up and grabbed the bag she had brought with her, "I'll tell you on the way home. I think Kaveh needs time to rest."
Both Tighnari and Cyno were confused but they all left quickly, saying goodbye to Kaveh on the way out.
Kaveh packed up anything that hadn't been cleaned up by the other 3, looking around before his eyes met the bedroom door… and Alhaitham was watching him, the door barely open but open enough to let his eyes come through.
Kaveh felt like he was part of a horror story before realizing it's probably because he's drunk or something.
He took a deep breath as he walked up to where Alhaitham was, "what the hell are you doing like this? You're acting like you're 5 and it's starting to concern me about your emotional maturity."
"I just wanted to watch."
"Watch what? Me packing up their stuff?"
"Watching people speak is much more interesting than being part of the conversation."
"I can't agree with you but it's probably an introverts thing…" He walked into their shared bedroom, expecting Alhaitham to follow.
He did follow him behind but also bapped him on the head with the nearest pillow.
"Wh-what the hell was that for!?"
Alhaitham chuckled momentarily before sitting on the other side of the bed.
"I don't understand you… and I don't think I ever will…"
Kaveh felt the bed moving, but what he didn't expect was to see Alhaitham slowly crawling his hand towards his.
"What are you doing now?"
He suddenly grabbed Kaveh's hand without any sort of question and yanked his body into his own, surrounding it with his other limbs, holding him like he was his own.
"Aak- what the hell are you doing!?" He tried to get out of his grasp but Alhaitham was too strong.
No response.
"I'm serious, I feel claustrophobic like this. Can you just-"
No response again, he just rested his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes.
"Alhaitham I'm serious! Like actually and completely serious!"
He opened one eye, "do you… not like this?"
"Of course not! You grabbed me without asking and forced me into the worst hug I've ever had!"
"Oh… sorry…" Alhaitham let go, looking absolutely dejected.
"Wait I-" Kaveh said without thinking, he'd never seen Alhaitham like that and he never wanted to see it ever again. "I didn't mean it like that I-" He stopped himself before he spoke any further.
"Whatever," he grabbed a pillow and hugged it instead.
"I-I just didn't see you as the clingy type…"
"What do you mean by that."
"I don't know. Usually when I try to touch you at all you get all weird about it…"
"Well I don't really like unexpected contact, it's expected when I do it myself," a weirdly sober sounding Alhaitham explained.
"Ugh you always want to dominate everything… but I guess that makes sense…"
"That's a weird way to put it."
"What? You literally forced me into a hug just now! If that isn't wanting to dominate in everything I don't know what is," he crossed his arms.
"I thought I deserved it…"
"Deserved it!? How entitled are you!?" Kaveh jumped up and spooked Alhaitham a bit.
Alhaitham didn't respond and Kaveh shook his head, "I can't believe you'd say something like that…"
He quickly noticed Alhaitham covering his ears… or headphones… with his hands, Kaveh quickly apologized to be a little quieter.
"I really didn't mean-"
Alhaitham sighed, "it's fine. I have to get used to loud things anyways so why not start with you, the most annoying and loud thing in all of Teyvat."
"Wh- you!!" He tried his best to be quieter but god that was cruel.
Alhaitham chuckled softly, "we should probably get ready for bed."
"Alright…" Kaveh still wasn't sure if this person was Alhaitham or not… still could be Layla…
Alhaitham grabbed his nightwear and went to the bathroom to change, expecting Kaveh to change in the bedroom.
Kaveh grabbed his clothes from the drawer, shaking his head in confusion. Something wasn't right but he couldn't put his finger on what.
Once they were both done changing they brushed their teeth and hopped into bed. Kaveh continued watching Alhaitham for anything suspicious.
"I feel like I'm being watched."
"It's probably because I'm watching you. Are you sure you're not secretly Layla? I'd count on her biting my finger more than you of all people…"
"Who bit your finger?"
Kaveh was shocked before shaking his head in disbelief, "n-never mind. Let's just get to bed."
"Good night."
"Good night."
Alhaitham turned off the lamp and they were off to sleep.
.
.
.
Kaveh woke up from a dream about suffocating to death and quickly realized why, "ALHAITHAM WHY ARE YOU HUGGING ME AGAIN!?"
A hand covered his mouth and Kaveh pushed it away, "Alhaitham I'm serious," he pouted.
Alhaitham rubbed his eyes awake, sitting up in bed, "I don't know what you're on about but… loud."
"I forgot just… put your headphones back on."
Alhaitham wordlessly put them back on and went to make coffee for them both.
"Well he seems more normal than last night…" Kaveh muttered to himself as he followed behind.
He glanced at Alhaitham making the coffee before sitting down at the table nearby, "so Haitham-"
Alhaitham suddenly covered whatever ear he could, as the other one was currently busy making coffee, "can you be any less loud."
"What do you mean, I'm talking at my normal volume ."
"You're going to give me a headache just by being here…" He finished up the coffee and handed a cup to Kaveh before sitting down across from him.
"Alhaitham… what's wrong." He asked as he took his first sip.
"Nothing is wrong, it's just… never mind."
"What? What is wrong? Why are you hiding something from me!? Why do you care? Is it your hangover?"
Alhaitham had started drinking but immediately stopped when Kaveh wouldn't stop talking, "please… just let me have silence…"
"You can have silence whenever you want! Just turn on that setting!"
Alhaitham didn't respond, trying to squeeze all the noise out of his head.
"Oh my archons, are your headphones broken again?"
Alhaitham glanced at him before looking back down.
"Give them here," he set out a hand for him.
Alhaitham slowly took them off his head and handed them to Kaveh.
Kaveh looked at them, eventually deducting that they had just run out of battery and went to get a new battery pack.
When he came back he handed them back to Alhaitham, "I'll let you put them back on but after that I have many questions for you, good sir."
Alhaitham put them both on his head, playing with the settings until it was just right, "what questions do you have for me, Light of Kshahrewar."
Kaveh rolled his eyes at the name, "well first off why did you drink all the liquor in the fridge!?"
"I don't remember doing that," twas a half truth, "I just remember getting a glass for myself because I was tired."
"Oh- also why were you sooo tired? You kept saying that as your reasoning and it's starting to piss me off."
"Just work."
"Alhaitham can you just tell me the truth!? Since when have you had to lie to me!?"
"It's not important anymore, everything has been fixed."
"Wait… did you spiral like that because your headphones broke?"
"There's no need to focus on the past-"
"Also why the hell were you so insistent on wanting to eat me!?"
"That isn't something that normal people think about?"
"No!? What the hell did you read that told you that!?"
Alhaitham didn't respond, just slowly dialing his headphones on silent mode like Kaveh nicely suggested before.
"Alhaitham! I'm serious this time! Why the h-"
Silence.