Work Text:
1.
“Binnie-hyungggg,” Hyunjin whines. “Please.”
Changbin sighs, setting down his pencil and spinning around in his desk chair to face Hyunjin. The taller boy is standing in the doorway of his room in their shared dorm and pouting, arms outstretched.
A weaker man would cave. But Changbin is not a weak man.
“No,” he says firmly.
“Please,” Hyunjin emphasizes.
Changbin caves. Turns out he is a weak man… when it comes to Hwang Hyunjin, at least.
“Where did you say this party was, again?” he asks, sighing as he reaches for a jacket.
A grin spreads across Hyunjin’s face, and it’s like the sun breaking through the clouds. Changbin swallows.
“Yay!” Hyunjin bounces on his toes and claps excitedly. “It’s at Chan-hyung’s frat house.”
Changbin groans. “The things you get me to do, Hyunie,” he grumbled.
“Because you love me,” Hyunjin sing-songs, and Changbin bites his tongue to prevent himself from saying something stupid like “more than you could ever imagine”.
“Yah, brat,” Changbin says, but fondness laces through his voice, and Hyunjin simply giggles, the sound like wind chimes on a perfect summer day. “Hand me my keys.”
Hyunjin is drunk.
Changbin expected this. It’s why he didn’t want to come in the first place—he personally doesn’t like getting drunk, and being the only sober person in a room isn’t his favorite experience.
Changbin sighs as Hyunjin latches onto him for the umpteeth time that night. Hyunjin is a very affectionate drunk, constantly begging for cuddles and refusing to part from his friends. It’s cute, but Hyunjin is all sweaty from dancing and his breath smells like vodka, and Changbin kind of just wants to be at home in bed.
“Dance with me, hyung,” Hyunjin chirps.
Changbin shakes his head. “I’m good right here,” he says, shifting further against the wall and shaking the Coke can he’s holding.
“Please, hyung,” Hyunjin murmurs, and Changbin feels his resolve crumble like walls in an earthquake.
“Okay.”
Hyunjin screeches in delight and drags Changbin into the middle of the living room, where a makeshift dance floor has formed. It’s pretty much just a bunch of horny college kids grinding on each other to songs that don’t always call for that behavior, but for Hyunjin, it’s a stage.
Watching Hyunjin dance always takes Changbin’s breath away. He moves so smoothly and fluidly, even when he’s wasted. Dancing is second nature to Hyunjin, a beautiful habit that alcohol cannot mar.
Changbin hasn’t had a drop of alcohol, but when Hyunjin body rolls and then flashes Changbin a smirk, his head spins so quickly he wonders if he might pass out.
The song switches and slows, and Hyunjin reaches his hands out for Changbin.
“Come here, Binnie!” he yells as if Changbin isn’t standing two inches away from him.
Changbin takes Hyunjin’s hands, remaining at a distance from Hyunjin, but the taller boy suddenly pulls him in and crushes him to his chest. Changbin is strong enough to resist, at least physically, but mentally is a whole other story.
Hyunjin sways them back and forth. “Hyung.” His voice has dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, and Changbin has to strain to hear him over the sounds of the party.
“What’s up?” Changbin murmurs in return, keeping his voice equally low.
“I have a secret to tell you.”
“Okay?” Changbin suddenly feels nervous. He knows what Hyunjin is going to say—he’s going to say that he knows about Changbin’s crush and he doesn’t return his feelings, he’s going to say that he got a boyfriend, he’s going to say that he’s moving halfway across the world—
“I’m in love with you, Binnie-hyung.”
Changbin stumbles back, freeing himself from Hyunjin’s embrace. “Huh?”
Hyunjin giggles. “I love you! I love you so much!” His words are slurred, and Changbin realizes what’s going on.
“Hyunjin, you’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.” Changbin can’t quite keep the bitterness entirely out of his voice.
Hyunjin lurches forward, puckering his lips for a kiss, and Changbin pushes him away. “You’re drunk, Hyunjin,” he repeats, and he feels his heart crack.
Hoping is useless.
“Come on. Let’s get you home.” Changbin places his hand on Hyunjin’s lower back and guides him to the front door, blinking hard to force back the tears threatening to spill over his lashes.
Back home, Changbin gently slips Hyunjin into his bed and sits on the edge of it, watching his friend sleep peacefully. He’s so beautiful. Always has been.
Changbin was so stupid to hope. Hyunjin is such an affectionate drunk, it makes sense that he’d make up love confessions.
It just isn’t fair that he directed it towards the one person who would take it seriously.
“Real sweet,” Changbin whispers, gently pushing Hyunjin’s sweaty hair back from his forehead. “But I wish you were sober.”
Changbin’s cooking eggs in the kitchen the next morning when he hears the sound of shuffling footsteps slowly approaching.
He smiles to himself and sets down the spatula just in time to receive a back hug from Hyunjin—their morning routine. Changbin twists to return the embrace, unable to fight the fond smile that flits across his face.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” he murmurs. “How are you feeling?”
Hyunjin drops his head onto Changbin’s shoulder. “Like shit,” he groans miserably.
“You should’ve listened to me and stayed home,” Changbin scolds, but there’s no real reproach in his voice. He extracts himself from Hyunjin to grab a glass of water, and Hyunjin accepts it gratefully.
“You’re my angel, hyung,” Hyunjin chirps, blowing Changbin a kiss.
Changbin turns away, busying himself with the eggs.
Hyunjin clears his throat. “So, uh…did I do anything interesting last night?”
Changbin carefully flips an omelet. “No,” he lies, keeping his eyes on the food. “No, nothing interesting.”
Changbin turns in time to see something flash in Hyunjin’s eyes, there and gone again in a split second, so quick that Changbin wonders if he imagined it.
“Oh. That’s…that’s good.” Hyunjin falls uncharacteristically silent, but when Changbin tilts his head, wordlessly asking what’s wrong, he plasters a smile on his face. “Are the eggs ready?”
Changbin scrunches his face at Hyunjin, earning a laugh from the younger boy. “Such a brat,” he chides lightly. “Am I your slave?”
“No, no, I appreciate you! Thank you thank you thank you~” he sing-songs, and Changbin flips the omelet onto a plate.
“What the fuck is up with you?” Chan asks.
Changbin turns away from his computer. He’s in the studio that he rents, splitting the monthly cost with his best friends, Chan and Jisung. Right now, the three of them are still in college, working at various retail jobs on the side, but they hope to make it big with their first mixtape.
“I’m fine,” he says automatically.
Jisung spins in his chair and rolls his eyes. “You’re clearly not.”
“Jisung, be gentle,” Chan scolds.
“Like asking what the fuck is up with him is gentle?”
“Okay, okay,” Changbin interrupts before a full-blown argument can break out. “It’s just…some weird shit with Hyunjin. It’s fine. I can deal.”
Jisung’s eyes light up. “Oh, but now you HAVE to tell us.”
Changbin sighs. “He got drunk off his ass and told me he’s in love with me.”
“Finally,” Chan sighed. “I’ve been so sick of watching you pine. So what’s the issue?”
Changbin focuses on his screen. “The issue is that he didn’t mean it.”
Jisung furrows his eyebrows and opens his mouth, but Chan kicks him in the ankle. Hard.
While Jisung dramatically collapses to the floor and moans about broken bones, Chan puts his Concerned Dad Face on.
“Why don’t you think he meant it?” Chan asks seriously.
“He was DRUNK,” Changbin exclaims. “And he didn’t remember it at ALL in the morning. You know how clingy and lovey he gets when he’s drunk—he’s always saying he loves us.”
“Yeah, but not that he’s IN love with us,” Jisung pipes up, miraculously recovered.
“It’s a difference of one word, an easy mistake when you’re drunk,” Changbin says. “And again, he didn’t remember it. If he really loved me in that way, he’d tell me when he’s sober.”
Jisung opens his mouth again. Chan kicks him again.
Changbin sighs. “Guys, what the fuck.”
“I think you should talk to him,” Chan suggests.
“Um, absolutely NOT? It was a drunk mistake, I don’t need to make him feel embarrassed about something that he doesn’t even remember. And there’s no need for me to risk our friendship because of something this stupid.”
“Your feelings aren’t stupid, Binnie,” Chan says gently.
“Can we please drop it? Please,” Changbin begs. He can’t talk about this anymore or he will genuinely go insane.
Chan snaps his mouth shut and acquiesces, but Jisung can’t take a hint. “I think you guys are both being dumb,” he shares.
Time to bring out the big guns. “Excuse me, Noona, do you have a boyfriend?” Changbin taunts, and Jisung screeches in outrage.
“CHAN!!”
The studio returns to the normal vibe of a mix between productivity and complete chaos, but Changbin’s heart still feels heavy.
2.
Sometimes, Changbin really regrets actually becoming friends with the freshmen he signed up to mentor.
Like right now.
“How did you even get in here?” Changbin sighs when he sees Seungmin and Jeongin standing in the doorway of the studio.
Minho, curled up in a beanbag in the corner, snickers. “I gave them the building code.”
“And I told them the room number,” Chan’s cousin, Felix, says from another corner.
Changbin glares. “Why are you doing this to me.”
Seungmin places his hand on his chest, feigning hurt. “You haven’t even heard what we want yet!”
“Probably something illegal,” Changbin sighs. He saves his work and spins around in his chair. Jisung and Chan haven’t even stirred from their work, noise-canceling headphones firmly on and eyes focused on their screens. He envies them.
“Jung Wooyoung is having a party tonight,” Jeongin says.
“What does that have to do with me?” Changbin complains, but he already knows.
Seungmin clasps his hands together. “Please, hyung. We wanna go.”
“And you’re such good friends with him,” Jeongin adds. “He’ll definitely let us in if you’re with us.”
Changbin grumbles.
“Hyunjin’s coming, too, by the way,” Minho mentions from his corner.
“I’ll take you.”
As Seungmin and Jeongin predicted, they get in easily when Wooyoung sees they’re with Changbin. It looks like half the dance team is there, too—not surprising, since Wooyoung is co-captain along with Minho.
Of course, that includes Hyunjin.
Changbin’s mouth dries up when he spots his roommate in the crowd, exaggeratedly doing the choreography to Taemin’s Criminal and looking fucking illegal while doing so in a pair of skin-tight jeans and a crop top.
Seungmin tugs at Changbin’s arm. “I’m gonna go get a drink.”
Changbin waves him off, still watching Hyunjin. “Yeah, yeah, sure…”
He and Jeongin scamper off, giggling, and Changbin comes to his senses. “Yah! Wait!”
Goddamnit. He wasn’t planning on letting them drink tonight—he’s supposed to be taking care of them. He huffs and spins on his heels, pushing through bodies to find his idiot dongsaengs.
“Hyungieeee,” a familiar voice trills, and Changbin hates that he stops immediately. Hyunjin just has this incredible power over him.
“Not now, Hyunjin,” Changbin tries. “I’m looking for Seungmin and Jeongin—”
“I’ll help!” Hyunjin chirps. “I saw them go up there.” He points upstairs, and Changbin groans.
“No way.” He covers his eyes. “They’re gonna walk in on people fucking and get traumatized.”
“So we just have to find them first,” Hyunjin insists. “Come on, hyungie!” He pulls at Changbin’s sleeve, and really, he can’t find it within himself to resist.
He follows Hyunjin up the stairs, automatically positioning his hands a few inches from the other boy’s waist in case his drunken self tips down the stairs. Hyunjin giggles.
“You’re so sweet, hyungie,” he coos. “You always take care of me so well.”
Changbin feels his cheeks start to burn and is suddenly immensely grateful for the fact that he’s not in Hyunjin’s line of sight right now.
Not that it would matter anyways. Hyunjin wouldn’t remember.
Changbin pushes down the bitterness threatening to surface and clears his throat. “Did you see if they went left or right at the top of the stairs?”
“Mhm,” Hyunjin nods vigorously. “This way.”
Changbin trails behind him as he makes his way deeper into the hallway. “Are you sure? I really don’t think—”
He’s cut off when Hyunjin spins around and loops his arms around Changbin’s neck, dragging him closer. He doesn’t resist. He can’t.
“I have a secret,” Hyunjin whispers.
“Another one?” Changbin strains to keep his voice even. All he wants to do is melt into Hyunjin’s embrace and pull him impossibly closer, but he can’t. He won’t let himself.
“I didn’t see them come up here,” Hyunjin says.
“Huh?” Changbin ducks out of Hyunjin’s arms and starts scanning the hallway. “What? Why’d you bring me up here, then?”
“So I could be alone with you~” Hyunjin sings. “I want to tell you something.”
A pit of dread settles into Changbin’s stomach. “Oh, boy.”
“I love you,” Hyunjin murmurs, and even though Changbin knows he doesn’t mean it in the way he wants him to, he can’t stop a thrill from racing through his body, all the way down to his toes. “I’ve loved you for SO long, Changbin-hyung.”
“Hyunjin, stop. Please.” He can’t do this anymore. “Let’s go downstairs and find Seungmin and Jeongin.”
“But I love you,” Hyunjin insists, wobbling on his feet.
“I know you do.” Changbin clears his throat. “I’m your best friend, aren’t I?”
“Changbin—”
“Come on.” The words come out harsher than he meant them to, and Hyunjin flinches back. “We’re going downstairs.”
Hyunjin is dancing with someone else.
Changbin knows he doesn’t have any claim to Hyunjin over anyone else. He knows that. But god, it fucking sucks to watch the proof.
He bites his lip and stares down at the empty red solo cup he’s crushing in his grip.
“You okay, hyung?” Jeongin asks next to him.
“Fine.” He glances up to check on Seungmin—the boy is still sitting on the couch, deep in a conversation with Felix. His eyes drag back to Hyunjin, now whispering in the ear of the boy he’s dancing with, and his stomach clenches.
Jeongin follows his gaze. “Oh, hyung.”
Changbin looks at him pleadingly. “I know I don’t have the right to feel jealous, but…”
“I know.” Jeongin leans his head on Changbin’s shoulder and reaches for his hand. “I know, Binnie. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
Jeongin squeezes his hand as Hyunjin laughs, high and loud and clear, and disappears upstairs with the boy he was dancing with.
3.
“This party’s shit,” Changbin groans to Chan, sullenly swishing his Coke so the ice cubes clink against the rim of the glass. “Wish we could dip…go anywhere but here.”
“Chill out,” Chan says. “We’re here for our friends.”
Changbin glares, but Chan is right. Hyunjin, Minho, and Felix just danced a trio performance for their college’s Winter Showcase, and Changbin, Jisung, Chan, Seungmin, and Jeongin were invited to the afterparty.
Changbin is trying really hard not to think about that performance, actually, because he might go insane. Hyunjin, Minho, and Felix had danced to two songs: one called Wow, and one called Taste. Both choreographies were very sensual, and it was not good for Changbin’s gay little heart.
Changbin catches Chan watching Minho, who had spent the first half hour of the party in the center of the dance floor but is now sitting on the kitchen table, nursing a beer. Changbin rolls his eyes.
“Just go talk to him,” he urges.
Chan turns to look at him with wide, frozen eyes. “Huh?”
“Minho,” Changbin clarifies. “You’re staring.”
“I didn’t mean to stare,” Chan mumbles. “He just…he looks really pretty tonight.”
“See, that’s the sort of thing you should be telling HIM, not me,” Changbin points out.
Chan laughs incredulously. “Like LEE MINHO would ever stoop low enough to date me.” He jerks his chin at Minho’s table—a cute guy has seated himself next to Minho and is talking to him energetically. “Besides, he has enough people chasing him.”
“He doesn’t really seem interested in the ones chasing him,” Changbin observes. Minho isn’t even looking at the boy next to him, instead opting to stare at his phone screen and occasionally opening his mouth to deliver a monotone, one-word reply.
Chan squints at Changbin. “You have no qualifications to be giving me relationship advice when you’ve been in love with the same guy for THREE YEARS and still haven’t done anything about it even though he’s your ROOMMATE—”
“Are you guys talking about me?” Hyunjin barrels towards them, a big dopey grin on his face.
“No,” Changbin says at the same time Chan says “Yes.”
Changbin casts Chan a betrayed look. Time to throw him to the wolves.
“Hyunjinnie, I was just telling Chan that he should go rescue Minho from that guy.” Changbin points at the table, where Minho has now angled his body entirely away from the boy, who doesn’t seem to have gotten the hint and is continuing to blab. “Don’t you agree?”
“Yes!” Hyunjin shouts. Oh, he is definitely drunk. “Go save hyung, Channie-hyung! Save him!”
Chan narrows his eyes at Changbin but pushes himself off the wall and starts towards Minho. Hyunjin slips into the space Chan left behind, dropping his head onto Changbin’s shoulder. His eyes are laser-focused on Chan’s retreating figure.
“Neither of them are the type to kiss first,” Hyunjin muses.
Changbin blinks. “Excuse me?”
Hyunjin lifts himself off Changbin and points, stumbling a little. “Minho-hyung is so obsessed with him, it’s disgusting,” he states flatly. “And it’s so obvious that Chan-hyung feels the same way. But neither of them are gonna kiss first.” He turns to Changbin. “You aren’t the type to kiss first either.”
“How would you know?” Changbin counters.
“Because you haven’t kissed me yet,” Hyunjin replies simply, tilting his head.
Changbin’s stomach lurches. “Huh?”
“You aren’t subtle, hyung,” Hyunjin giggles. He sways dangerously on his feet, and Changbin instinctively grabs his waist. Hyunjin takes the opportunity to poke his biceps.
“You’re so hot, hyung,” Hyunjin sighs.
Changbin’s face feels like it’s on fire. He needs to stop this, now, before things get out of hand. But…he doesn’t really want to.
“You’re lucky I’m the type to kiss first,” Hyunjin says, and Changbin barely registers the words coming out of his mouth before Hyunjin leans in and brushes Changbin’s lips with his own.
It’s chaste, barely a kiss, really, but Changbin’s head spins. This is everything he’s wanted for the past three years, right here.
Hyunjin leans in again, and Changbin crashes back to reality when he smells the vodka on Hyunjin’s breath.
“Hyunjin.” Changbin shoves at his friend’s shoulders, pushing him a little too roughly. Hyunjin stumbles back, looking at Changbin with wide, hurt eyes.
“You’re drunk,” he grits out through his teeth. “You don’t know what you’re doing or saying. I am NOT taking advantage of that.”
“I know what I’m saying,” Hyunjin protests, but it’s a weak argument considering how he seems to be 0.2 seconds away from collapsing.
“No, you don’t,” he snaps. “I’m taking you home.”
+1.
It’s been two weeks since that night, and things are fine. Normal. Perfectly ordinary.
Changbin and Hyunjin banter. They eat breakfast together. They argue over whose turn it is to take out the trash.
Hyunjin doesn’t kiss him again.
It’s fine. Changbin is fine.
He’d be better if Seungmin and Felix weren’t making him pay for their Starbucks drinks, though.
“Come on, hyung, pleaseeee,” Felix begs, batting his eyelashes.
“We already know you’re loaded,” Seungmin adds. “We’ve been to your house.”
Changbin pinches the bridge of his nose. “I feel like it’s insensitive to assume people’s socioeconomic status based on what their house looks like.”
Seungmin dismisses this notion with a wave of his hand. “Pay for my Americano. Now.”
“And my unicorn Frappuccino!” Felix pipes up.
Changbin shakes his head as he digs out his wallet. These kids will be the death of him.
Changbin drifts into his thoughts as they grab their drinks and sit down at a table, suddenly realizing that he’s being spoken to when he registers two expectant gazes resting on him.
“Huh?”
“Are you coming to that frat’s pre-finals party tonight?”
Changbin’s mouth sours and his stomach twists. “Ugh. No.”
“Why?” Felix whines, pouting.
“Hyunjin will be there. And he’ll be drunk.”
“And that’s a problem…why?” Seungmin asks, studying Changbin closely.
“Well, you know how Hyunjin gets when he’s drunk.” Changbin laughs bitterly, fingers tightening on the rim of his cup. “Always telling you he’s in love with you and trying to kiss you.”
Felix and Seungmin exchange a glance. “Uh…what?”
“Come on, you know what I’m talking about.”
“Actually, we don’t,” Seungmin interjects.
Changbin sighs, frustrated. “You know. ‘Changbin-hyung, I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for so long.’ And then he forgets the next morning.”
“Pretty sure that’s just a you thing,” Felix mumbles.
“Um, Changbin. I feel like you should probably talk to him about that…?”
“He doesn’t even remember,” Changbin insists.
Felix and Seungmin exchange another glance and it’s starting to get annoying.
“You should definitely talk to him.”
“Haven’t you heard the phrase, drunk words are sober thoughts?” Felix adds.
“You guys don’t understand,” Changbin snaps, suddenly exasperated. He’s explained the situation to his friends so many times and they still don’t fucking get it. “If he really—” He can’t even say the word. He stops, takes a deep breath, then forges on. “If he really loved me, too, he would tell me when he’s clear-headed. We live together, for god’s sake. He has so many opportunities. He only says it when he’s drunk because he doesn’t MEAN it.”
“Loved you, TOO?” Felix screeches.
“Did you miss the entire point of what I just said?”
“Why are you surprised, Felix?” Seungmin snorts. “We’ve ALL known for ages.”
“Well, I didn’t,” Felix mumbles. He mutters something under this breath that sounds suspiciously like “No one ever tells me anything in this fucking hellhole of a friend group.” Changbin chooses to ignore it.
“Hyung, let me ask you a question,” Seungmin says. “Why haven’t YOU told Hyunjin how you feel about him?”
“Are you kidding me?” Changbin laughs incredulously. “There’s no way I’m fucking up our friendship. I value his presence in my life more than I want him to love me. I’m not risking it.”
“Have you ever considered that Hyunjin might feel the exact same way?” Seungmin points out. “And that’s why he only confesses to you when he’s drunk, because his barriers are down?”
“Hwang Hyunjin does not like me,” Changbin says definitively. “He…” He trails off, thinking about Hyunjin vanishing upstairs with someone else at Wooyoung’s party. Thinking about how many people come to the dance showcases just to watch him. Thinking about the sheer number of comments on his Instagram posts. Thinking about the countless times he’s personally been asked for Hyunjin’s number—let alone how many times Hyunjin himself has probably been asked. “He has other options.”
Seungmin sighs. “You are so fucking dense. Yes, he has other options, but is he going for them? NO. Because he loves YOU.”
Changbin balks. “LOVES me? Slow down. I just said he doesn’t even like me.”
Seungmin turns to Felix. “Please, take over. I can’t do this anymore.”
Felix sits forward. “Hyung, let me show you something.” He unlocks his phone and swipes for a second, then turns the screen and displays it to Changbin. “Look.”
It’s a picture of Changbin and Hyunjin mid-conversation, sitting on the couch together, mouths open in what appears to be an animated discussion. Their other friends are on the floor playing video games, but they aren’t paying attention to them. Their eyes are on each other—soft, adoring, fond.
Loving.
“That’s how he looks at you, Binnie,” Felix says. “Not just when he’s drunk. When he’s sober, too. All the time. He looks at you like he’s in love with you. Because he is.”
Changbin stares open-mouthed for a silent moment, then leaps to his feet, his chair screeching back and tumbling to the floor. “I need to go talk to Hyunjin.”
“Yes!” Felix shouts. “Go, loverboy, go!” He claps as Changbin spins and sprints out of the cafe faster than he’s ever seen him run.
Seungmin raises his eyebrows at Felix. “You should be a relationship counselor or something.”
“Working on it,” Felix replies. “My next target is Chan and Minho.”
Changbin slams the door to the dance studio open. “Is Hyunjin here?” He bellows at the sparse group of students rehearsing.
Wooyoung clears his throat. “Uh, Changbinnie, is everything okay?”
“Yes. No. Is Hyunjin here?”
“He just left,” Wooyoung says. “Do you want water or something? You look kind of—”
Changbin has already rushed off.
He finds Hyunjin sitting on a bench a few feet from the dance building, earbuds in as he sketches a bouquet of flowers. Despite his mission, Changbin slows as he approaches his friend, appreciating the scene in front of him.
Hyunjin is just. So. Pretty. Especially like this, unconscious of any eyes on him—just existing, humming softly to himself and gently bopping his head to the music he’s listening to, brow slightly furrowed as he shades a rose petal with his long, slender hands. He tosses his head, shaking his bangs out of his eyes, and locks eyes with Changbin.
“Binnie! Hi!” Hyunjin beams, his whole face lighting up, and Changbin’s chest physically aches with the amount of love he feels for this boy. “What are you doing here? I thought you were with Seungmin and Felix.”
“Uh, I was.” Changbin clears his throat. “But I wanted to talk to you about something important.”
Hyunjin’s eyes scrunch in concern and he pats the bench beside him. “Sit with me, hyung. What’s wrong?”
The words get stuck in Changbin’s throat as he takes a seat beside the boy he loves. He isn’t brave enough to say it. He can’t.
“Hyung?”
“Do you mean it?” Changbin blurts.
Hyunjin tilts his head, slightly puppyish and oh so endearing. “What?”
“You- when you-” Changbin takes a deep breath. “When you say you’re in love with me.”
There. The words are out. He stares at his hands, hyper aware of Hyunjin’s silence, and decides to backpedal. “I mean, not that you have to mean it. I just, I’m just. Wondering.” He finally gains the courage to look into Hyunjin’s face, noting the pretty flush staining his cheeks and the way he’s worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Forget it, please.” He starts to stand, cursing himself for being stupid enough to listen to his dumb friends.
“Wait. Changbin, wait, please,” Hyunjin begs, grasping Changbin’s sleeve, and when has Changbin ever been able to deny Hyunjin anything?
He sits reluctantly.
“Do you…” Hyunjin rubs the back of his neck. “Do you want me to mean it?”
“Don’t flip this around on me,” Changbin protests. “I’m the one asking you.”
Hyunjin’s biting his bottom lip so hard it’s bleeding now. “What if I did mean it?” he asks softly. “What would you say?”
Changbin can’t look him in the eyes as he says, “I would tell you I’m in love with you, too.”
“Good.” Hyunjin smiles weakly. “Because I do mean it.”
Changbin needs a good minute to process.
“But why couldn’t you tell me while sober?” he asks. A specific memory flashes into his head, and he swallows before broaching the dreaded topic. “And…why did you hook up with someone else at Wooyoung’s party?”
Hyunjin bolts upright. “Huh? When did I do that?”
“After we looked for Seungmin and Jeongin,” Changbin says. “You went upstairs with someone.”
Understanding paints Hyunjin’s face. “You mean Yeonjun? I—well. I was asking him for advice about you, actually. I asked if we could go upstairs to talk because I was worried you’d hear what I was saying.”
Changbin stares, mouth slightly open. “Oh.”
“And as for why I never told you while sober,” Hyunjin goes on, “that should be obvious. You’re out of my league, Binnie-hyung.”
“Me?” Changbin laughs incredulously. “Out of YOUR league? Be serious. You’re the campus heartthrob, everyone wants you.”
“But I don’t want any of them,” Hyunjin says. “I want the boy who dances Twice choreography when he thinks I’m not home, the boy who makes me breakfast every morning even when he doesn’t have to be awake until much later, the boy who’s so passionate about his music that it inspires me to work harder. I want the boy who protects drunk girls at parties, the boy who’s afraid of small animals because he’s scared he’ll hurt them by accident, the boy who says if we switched bodies he would eat eggplant to get my body used to them. I want the boy who’s so polite to everyone that they fall for him the second he opens his mouth, the boy who takes care of his friends and family so sweetly no matter what, the boy with strong principles he won’t sacrifice for anything. I want you.”
Changbin doesn’t know what to say back except, “You’re home when I dance to Twice?”
“Changbin,” Hyunjin laughs. “I just opened my heart to you and that’s what you say?”
“Sorry!” Changbin flushes. “I don’t think I can be as eloquent as you just were, but…I’ve been in love with you for three years, and everything you say and do just makes me fall harder. I love how you talk about Kkami so fondly, how you work so hard on your dancing and art, how you try to romanticize everything. I just…I love YOU.”
Hyunjin throws his arms around Changbin, cuddling into his side, and Changbin finally allows himself to curl one arm around the boy he loves and lay his head on top of his.
“So pretty,” Hyunjin murmurs, snuggling deeper into Changbin’s neck and pointing up at the flowering tree above their heads.
“Gorgeous,” Changbin agrees quietly, but he’s looking at Hyunjin.