Chapter Text
We meet with the main four at Kenny’s house, as the story begins.
K: “(So, what did you tell her?)”
S: “Yeah, did you tell her to screw off Cartman?”
C: “That’s what I told the bitch!”
K: “No you didn’t fatboy!”
S: “He didn’t?”
K: “Yeah I was there, he just ran away!”
C: “Shut your Jew mouth Kahl!!!”
K: “I’m not arguing with someone fatter than the sun.”
An average conversation between the boys, perusal. But Cartman said something after that left everyone else confused, and maybe even mad for two of them.
C: “Well I’m not arguing with someone who’s gay Kahl, we all know what you are, I think Stan knows the most, too.”
That response left Kyles face red with anger, and Stan and Kenny confused, they didn’t know what it meant, and Stan never suspected Kyle of being gay.
K: “What are you talking about? I’m not gay dumbass. And what do you mean by Stan knows the most?”
C: “Well I mean it’s obvious that you and Stan have something going on together, you can’t hide it for much longer Kahl.”
S: “What?? Me and Kyle aren’t dating!!”
K: “Yeah, Cartman no one is buying this bullshit.”
C: “Okay okay, whatever you lovebirds say. Have fun at your sleepover tomorrow, don’t be too gay during it.”
K: “SHUT UP CARTMAN!!! Sorry kenny, but I think I’m gonna go.”
C: “Oh no did I hurt your feelings Kahl? I don’t care that you’re gay!”
S: “Yeah I’m gonna go too, sorry ken.”
C: “Oh no both of the gay boys are leaving!”
K: “(Oh don’t worry about it)”
C: “Well fine then leave, me and Kenny can just hang out with each other!”
K&S: “Bye Kenny”
K: “(bye!)”
Cartman watched as Stan and Kyle left the house and saw them walking in opposite directions, feeling upset.
C: “Oh god Kenny I think I made them break up!! Did they break up??”
K: “(Shut up Cartman, they aren’t gay.)”
C: “Kenny you don’t understand they have to be gay!!”
K: “(Stan literally has a girlfriend.)”
C: “Not anymore, he broke up with Wendy.”
K: “(Wait WHAT?)”
C: “Yeah, at first I thought there was no reason, but then I began to think: Stan and Kahl have always been best friends, but now they’re “super best friends”, and then it hit me. Stan and Kahl are gay and the term “super best friends” just means you’re gay.”
K: “(Cartman that’s stupid.)”
C: “NO IT’S NOT KENNY!! When Stan broke up with Wendy, it was right after they started calling each other super best friends. And think about it, Kahl has never been able to get a girl: connect the dots, he’s just gay, and I think Stan realized he was as well. I don’t know if they’re dating, but I know that they’re gay.”
K: (Cartman just shut up, you sound like a dumbass.)”
C: “fine, maybe you’re right kenny.”
But then Cartman thought to himself,
C: *Kenny’s right for now, but I can find out if I’m right, I just have to put a hidden camera in Stan’s room during their sleepover. And then, I can find out. I can see if I am right- no, prove that I am right. Because I know they’re gay, and soon, I will get them together so I can bully them.”
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K: *What the hell. Damn it, how- how the hell did he know I was gay?!- No, no, it’s okay, he was still wrong because me and Stan aren’t dating, he’s still dating Wendy so he’s probably straight- wait what do I mean probably, Stan IS straight, there’s no way he’s gay. And I don’t even have feelings for him in that way, atleast, I don’t think I do- NO. I don’t have feelings for him. I just gotta stop thinking about it.*
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S: *Ugh, I swear to god- Cartman is so annoying. He only thinks I’m gay because I broke up with Wendy, but we both agreed to it! I’m not even gay, at least I don’t think I am- wait what am I talking about, I know I’m straight. But why does Cartman think Kyle is gay? I mean, is he? No, there’s just no way he is! But at the same time, it makes sense- NO, god why am I thinking like that, I can ask him tomorrow and he is gonna confidently yell “no” at me because he obviously isn’t. but why does he think I’m dating Kyle? I mean, neither of us have ever shown romantic feelings for each other, at least I don’t think I have- but I know Kyle hasn’t so what the hell?! Whatever, maybe we can talk about it at my house tomorrow, but for now I should just ignore it.*
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So far, Cartman is correct. We now know Kyle is gay, but what about Stan? Will we find out more information during the sleepover? Will something change?