Archive of Our Own ^beta

Tony Stark woke up slowly, wondering why it was so warm.

Then he realized that two or three other people were lying on top of him, which went a long way to explaining why he was warm, but did nothing to explain how the hell he'd wound up in this situation in the first place. It especially didn't help when he realized that the other people were Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff on the definitely two people, and that the possible third person was Bruce Banner.

Tony groaned as he tried to recall what had happened the day or night or whatever before, only to come up blank. The only real information was that he was naked, Steve and Natasha were naked, Bruce was probably naked, and he had no idea where the hell Thor and Clint had disappeared to. He had vague recollections of a mission, and Thor's crazy as fuck little brother dropping in to... try telling them something, but everything after that was kind of a blur.

"Did anyone get the number of that truck?" Steve mumbled, apparently having just woken up as well. Unlike Tony, the second the super soldier noticed the position they were all in, he blushed bright red and jerked away from the cuddle puddle. The movement caused both Natasha and Bruce to jolt awake as well, Natasha reaching for a gun that quite obviously wasn't there and Bruce looking around with an expression that clearly said he was trying to figure out what the Other Guy had gotten him into this time.

"I don't think we got hit by any trucks, but do any of you have even the vaguest idea of what happened last night?" Tony asked, remaining where he was sprawled on the carpet and finally recognizing their location as the family room located on his floor in Avengers Tower.

The other three shook their heads, Bruce frowning thoughtfully as he did so. The scientist added almost reluctantly, "I think I remember something about the person we were supposed to take down throwing dust or pollen at all of us, but I'm not positive."

"Does anyone else recall Reindeer Games dropping by? Because I sort of remember him standing at the elevator and trying to tell us something," Tony asked.

For a few seconds, none of his apparent floor companions from the previous evening responded; then Natasha swore in Russian (and that should not be nearly as hot as it was, really) and dropped her head into her hands.

"Now that you've said something," she replied, sounding very annoyed with either herself or the whole situation, "I do remember Loki coming here. He mentioned some kind of pollen from a plant found in one of the worlds Asgard trades with, and that it's been outlawed on six of the nine, and that it... ah... lowers inhibitions."

The three men stared at her, partially because none of them could recall ever hearing Natasha swear before even in English. Finally Tony blurted out, "So you're saying we all got doused with some kind of sex pollen and just fucked where we fell?"

Now the stares were on Tony. "I wouldn't have exactly phrased it that way," the Black Widow said dryly, "but in short: yes, that's exactly what happened."

"Now I really don't want to mention that I remember Thor and Clint dragging Loki off down the hall," Steve said quietly.

The four Avengers in the family room were silent for a moment as they processed the implications of that statement.

"Anyone else want a drink?"

"I could use one."

"Please."

"I need one for me and the Other Guy."

Thus began the tradition of Blackout Breakfast Cocktails as a method of dealing with the fallout of not-positive situations that the Avengers would occasionally find themselves in. If they were sometimes joined in said cocktails by a nemesis that tended less towards total destruction and more towards pissing people off in general... well, they weren't saying anything.

After all, he had tried to warn them about the sex pollen that one time.