Chapter Text
Ayato has a strange way of loving.
Not that Venti is trying to complain or anything. Things weren't like this at first, but changes were bound to happen after a loved one’s death.
Venti has heard that grief can change a person, and he has seen the effects firsthand after the death of Ayato’s sister. It doesn’t happen immediately, but the changes are noticeable after a few months.
It starts off with Ayato being more short-fused. He gets irritated rather easily, and it’s becoming more obvious when he’s ticked off even by little things. Venti tries to help lessen his annoyance by dealing with the things that trigger his anger—because he understands that his boyfriend might just be in a bad mood with the loss of his sister. So if he can help with at least something, maybe it’ll make his boyfriend happier.
It does the trick, sometimes. But it still doesn’t stop Ayato from raising his voice at him.
The first time Ayato has yelled at him, it leaves Venti trembling. He has never heard his boyfriend sound so angry before. Of course, he has seen him scold others, but it’s never exactly towards him.
“I’m sorry,” Venti says, teary-eyed, even though he’s not really sure what he’s sorry about.
Ayato must’ve realised that he’s going too far, because he immediately stops. “Venti… I didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m sorry.”
“...It’s okay,” Venti says, slowly. He’s still slightly shaken, but he understands why his boyfriend is acting this way. “I was just… a little surprised, is all.”
“Sorry. Today’s been a really rough day,” Ayato says, and he takes a step forward to hold his hand. “But I love you, Venti. You know I didn’t mean it, right?”
“Yeah.” Venti gives him a small smile. “I know.”
His biggest mistake was keeping those words close to his heart.
He doesn’t realise that the yelling has become more frequent, too distracted with the reminder that Ayato is only having a rough day. Even when Ayato calls him ugly names, he tells himself that he means none of it.
His boyfriend just needs someone to let out his anger.
Eventually, Ayato’s anger goes out of control, and Venti doesn’t register the hand swinging at his face before it’s too late.
He staggers backwards from the impact and falls onto his backside. He blinks in shock, lifting a hand and wincing when he touches a burning cheek.
“Venti,” Ayato says, eyes widening, before he rushes to help him up. “Shit—I didn’t mean for that to happen. I’m sorry, are you hurt?”
“I…” Venti finds himself at a loss of words.
He doesn’t know how to react.
A part of him is scared, because this is the first time Ayato has hit him. (Should he get out of here?) But another part of him sympathises with his boyfriend as he watches him mutter apology after apology, begging him to stay because he’s the only person who can help him get through tough times like these.
“It’s okay,” Venti eventually says, shutting down whatever warning that his mind is giving him. There are tears gathered at the corner of his eyes due to the pain in his cheek, but he doesn’t acknowledge them as he pulls Ayato into an embrace. “I know you didn’t mean it.”
His second biggest mistake was believing.
He ignores how the yelling and the violence continues to grow. He uses his boyfriend’s words as an excuse for what can be seen as ‘unjustified’ actions to others. Because he knows that Ayato doesn’t mean them, and all of this is just a way to help his boyfriend cope with the loss of his sister.
So he reassures his boyfriend whenever he apologises.
“It’s okay,” he would say, after he received a fist to his face.
“You were just having a bad day,” he would say, after being shoved into a wall.
He learns to endure the pain little by little. It’s slightly hard at first, and he does end up crying quietly in a corner when it’s too much to bear. But it’s worth it when he gets to see his boyfriend smiling in the end, pulling him close and whispering words of gratitude to his ear.
Because no matter how much pain he has to face, Ayato loves him, and he’ll always stop if things go overboard.
“Ayato—” Venti chokes. His fingers are weak as they try to get the pair of hands off his neck. “I can’t—breathe. Y-you’re hurting me...”
Ayato stops, before he slowly pulls his hands away. His eyes are wide before he quickly gets off him.
“Venti, I’m so sorry,” he says. The apology is almost automatic by now. Venti sees him hovering over his vision. “I lost control again. Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” Venti says, blinking the black dots away. It takes some time before he can actually sit up—but he nearly lies back down again. Ayato has to help him stay in a sitting position by supporting his back with his arm. “I feel a little dizzy…”
“You should rest,” Ayato says. He’s about to help him to his feet, when the sound of Venti’s ringtone starts playing. “Wait, let me get that for you.”
Venti nods, choosing to remain sitting on the floor. He doesn’t think he can make it to their bedroom without collapsing anyway. He waits for Ayato to bring his phone, but he finds his boyfriend returning with empty hands instead.
“Who was it?” Venti asks. He’s slow as he tilts his head to meet the other’s gaze.
“Zhongli,” Ayato answers, flatly.
“Oh.” Now that Venti thinks about it, it’s been a while since he last talked to his best friend. He hasn’t seen him in a long time too. “Can I talk to him?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Ayato says, and if Venti concentrates hard enough, he would’ve sensed the warning in his tone. He grabs his arm and pulls him to his feet. “You’re not well. You should just sleep after this.”
Venti leans closer to his boyfriend for support. Maybe Ayato’s right. He should just call back Zhongli—and his few other friends some other time. Ayato doesn’t look like he’s in the mood to let him use his phone either.
“Okay,” he says. The dejected feeling he used to feel is long gone.
He doesn’t notice the uncanny smile on Ayato’s face, the way his eyes are hooded with thinly-veiled obsession. He feels his boyfriend combing the back of his hair, and his fingers threaten to pull at the strands with every stroke he makes.
“Thank you for staying with me, Venti,” Ayato says, voice deep and dazed. He bends down to nuzzle his face into his hair, before he whispers, “I love you.”
Venti smiles. He can no longer tell the difference between smiling out of happiness and smiling out of force. “I love you too, Ayato.”