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“Did you get the goods?” Benny asked frantically as he swung open the front door, nearly hitting the precious box out of Ethan’s hand in the process. “Oh, fuck yes, get in here!”
“You know it, dude,” Ethan smiled, quickly taking off his greasy red cap and throwing it onto Benny’s living room couch. It was embroidered with a gaudy yellow logo that read MARIO’S PIZZA Best Pies in the Greater Toronto Area!, and dotted with dark grease spots. It wasn’t too bad of a gig, really. Sure, there were rude customers and whatnot, but they paid $12 an hour and he got to take home any leftovers for free. Benny was much more excited about that aspect than Ethan was.
“Dude, I’ve been waiting for this all day, you have no idea!” Benny exclaimed as he snatched the box out of Ethan’s hands. “Gimme, gimme. Oh, yeah, come to Papa…”
Ethan scrunched up his face, “Dude, come on… It’s good, but not that good.”
Benny glared at him as he snarfed down a lukewarm slice of pepperoni and sausage pizza. Swallowing harshly, he narrowed his eyes and gasped dramatically. “What sacrilege! Who are you, and what have you done with my Ethan?” he howled sarcastically. Ethan laughed and took a slice for himself.
“Listen, man, I probably made, like, forty of these today… so please, excuse my lack of enthusiasm,” he said, eying the slice, considering if he really wanted it. He decided that as much pizza as he’d had in the last few weeks, he really, really didn’t. “Here, take this. I never thought that I’d say this, but God, I am so sick of pizza…”
Benny snatched the slice out of his hand without a second to spare, “Good, more ‘za for me then!”
Ethan chuckled and flopped down onto the ancient floral loveseat in Benny’s living room. “What’ve you been up to today?” he asked, trying to spark a conversation.
“Studying my spellbook, mostly. I found a couple of spells that could be useful. I also found a few cool ones.”
“Like what?” Ethan sat up to look at him, his interest piqued.
“Like… this–” Benny snapped his fingers and a toad appeared on the carpet. He grimaced. “Dammit,” the frog hopped toward him, and Benny backed up, trying to shoo the creature toward the door.
“Well. That’s, um… really cool, B.”
“Shut up! It was supposed to be a diamond necklace. I just need more practice, is all, but I’ll get it eventually, I swear…”
“Why would you need to summon a diamond necklace?” Ethan asked quizzically, snorting at the sight of Benny trying to catch the loose toad.
“To woo your mom with, asshole. Can you help me catch this toad?” Benny grimaced.
“No way , dude. You summoned it. That’s your problem now, man.”
Benny stalked up to the creature and clasped his hands around it. “Got it!” he shouted, tossing it out onto the pavement. “Go! Be free! Go… do whatever toads do, I guess… What do toads even do?”
“They, like, eat flies and shit, man. I don’t know.” Ethan teased.
Benny sighed and walked toward the loveseat, sitting next to Ethan. “Wanna play Knights of Ninjitsu IV ?”
“Is that even a question? Obviously. Let’s play, dude!”
“Fuck yes, I’ll pull it out.”
“Dude, you’ve gotta swerve to the left, not the right!” Benny shouted.
“I’m trying my best! It’s not that easy!” Ethan was slamming the buttons on his controller as best he could, B, X, A, X, Y, B, joystick right, no, joystick left…? “God, this game is so hard!”
“Ha, just like, uh, me in your mom last night, dude.”
Ethan punched Benny’s arm as hard as he could, which wasn’t all that hard, but it hurt his hand anyways.
“Ow!” Benny yelped, “that hurt!”
“You’re an idiot, now shut up and help me defeat this guy!”
“Help you?! Dude, you suck at this, I’m literally pulling all the weight here! If anything, you’re the one helping me!”
“Okay, well, whatever, let’s just finish this level and get off, okay?”
“Oh, yeah, we can get off, just like I got your mom off last night,” Benny said, chuckling at his own lame jokes. Ethan just rolled his eyes this time, knowing that his fist would greatly regret throwing another ‘punch’.
“Okay… swerve left, and… B, X, B, Y…” Boom. Ethan’s last hit took down the boss, sending the huge Sumo Ninja tumbling to the ground. “Yes!” he exclaimed, jumping up and punching the air in victory. Benny rose with him, laughing all the while and high-fiving his best friend.
“Hell yes, dude! You took that boss down! ” Benny smiled at him, a glimmer in his eye. “Maybe I spoke too soon and you actually don’t suck… Nah, who am I kidding?” he teased.
“Haha, whatever, asshole, I took that guy down singlehandedly and you know it,” Ethan joked back. “Maybe it's you that sucks.”
“Nah, man, it’s definitely you that sucks,” Benny wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, before bursting out into laughter. Ethan rolled his eyes so hard they threatened to pop out of his head, and playfully slapped his arm.
“Whatever, man, I gotta head home. I’ve got work again tomorrow, and I desperately need a shower…” Ethan said, pulling at his work shirt and grimacing.
Benny sniffed and playfully faked a coughing fit, “Yeah, I wasn’t gonna say anything but, dude… you seriously reak.”
“Haha, very funny. Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow, dickhead,” Ethan said, collecting his things and heading toward the door.
“Don’t forget the ‘za when you come, dude!” Benny shouted gleefully with a wide, animated smile.
“You know it, B. I’ll hook you up with the good stuff,” he chuckled. He twisted the doorknob slowly, looking over his shoulder for a second. Ethan smiled slightly. “Hey, B?”
“Yeah, dude?” Benny looked up at him, slightly serious for once.
“I’m glad you’re my best friend, dude.” He stepped out the doorway before Benny could say anything, and walked home with a smile on his face.